


28 Days of Love

by Chellacat



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 28 Days of Love, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Arguing, Baking, Challenge Response, Cuddles, Dancing, Drama & Romance, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Holding Hands, Ice Cream, In Formal Wear, Kissing, Love All Marvel Ships, Making Out, Making Up, Romantic Comedy, Shopping, Sleeping In, Smut, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Spooning, Time Travel, Wearing the Others Clothes, character death in chapter 7, fix it on chapter 23, hanging out with friends, i fixed chapter seven, lazy day, on a date, watching a movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-10-20 18:34:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 92,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17627483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chellacat/pseuds/Chellacat
Summary: Love All The Marvel Ships Challenge ~  28 Day's of Love ~ on TumblrI think this will probably be all Darcy/Bucky.  But if not, I'll add the tags.A collection of stand alone and some interconnected stories.The prompt will be in the summary for each chapter.First prompt:  Holding Hands.





	1. Take My Hand

“Take my hand.”

Even over the shriek of the wind Darcy can hear his voice, but panic has her frozen, she can _not_ look up.

Darcy Lewis isn’t afraid of heights per say, what she is, is afraid of falling.

Not for the first time, she thinks that Jane is probably going to be the death of her one day, and up until a few seconds ago, she believed that day was today. Not that it was all Jane’s fault, but it was at least twelve percent Jane’s fault.

Working in highly experimental physics labs didn’t exactly come with a guarantee of bodily integrity. If she hadn’t worked with Jane before they started working with Stark, she would have gleaned that from the copious amounts of paperwork, absolving Stark Industries of blame, in the event of accidental mutilation, loss of limbs, combustion, burns, broken bones, trauma and or death.

What she hadn’t signed up for, was the work place targeted by incompetent Hench-men, who couldn’t even manage to target the lab of the guy they were gunning for. And who the hell brings a flamethrower into a fucking lab??? Of course it lit a bunch of canisters off by the windows aflame, and the explosion that had followed had tossed Darcy out the corner window.

So, here she was, seventy stories in the air, hanging onto a broken window casing like her life depended on it, which it did, and now Sergeant McHottie was dangling out the same window she’d defenestrated through demanding she take his hand. This was not how she imagined holding hands with him. There were steps… Like actually managing to say more than hi to him. Maybe a little witty banter and some flirting, if she could control her racing heart long enough to think in his presence. Steps like coffee and dinner and a movie. Things she would not be doing if she didn’t pull herself together and…. The casing bent and she swung out a little further.

She squeezed her eyes shut again and whimpered as her grip slipped just a little. This is ridiculous, Darcy Lewis you are not a quitter, open your eyes and look up and grab his damn hand, she tells herself furiously.

Above her there was enough swearing going on to turn the air blue. Just as she opens her eyes she feels a strong arm wrap around her waist, and she’s hefted into the safety of a firmly muscled chest. A strangled eep emerges from her, though if it’s from the height, the sudden jerk, or the knowledge of who’s body she’s so securely held against, she’s not sure.

A low chuckle emerges as she grabs the arm in a death grip.

“Close your eyes Doll, you’re safe with me.”

“I bet you say that to all the girls!”

Why oh why, is now the time her mouth kicks in? Why not on any of the six other occasions she had met him?  Oh yeah, because every other time she had smiled, waved, and then made a quick exit before she embarrassed herself or flushed red as a cherry on a sundae.

She can hear the smirk even with her eyes closed.

“Just the one, Sweetheart.”

Oh my god!  Is he flirting with her right now?  She bites her lip but can’t keep quiet even as she feels his body shift against her as he climbs higher.

“Who’s the lucky girl?

“The one I had to climb outta a building to get to notice me.  See, I wasn’t sure if she was interested, the way she kept running out on me. Then today she jumped out of a damn window just as I got off the elevator.”

“I did not jump out that window.” She scowls mulishly, turning her head, but still keeping her eyes closed. She feels the bitter sting of unwanted tears spring beneath her eyelids. She had been so fucking scared until he’d pulled her up.

“I’m just teasing, Doll. It’s not every day I get to hold a pretty dame in my arms.” He tells her gently, laying on the charm. She sniffs back the traitorous tears and latches onto his apologetic tone.

“I thought you old fashioned types preferred to hold hands.” She replies, forcing some humour into her voice.

“Well, I did ask.” He reminds her. For a moment she forgets the void she’s currently being held above and manages to give him something to work with.

“Thant’s true.  Maybe we can try it again, you know, without the heights and the flame throwers and the imminent death?”

She feels her feet finally hit solid ground, but her legs won’t work quite yet. He steadies her with both hands now as she turns to face him.

Finally she opens her eyes. James Buchanan Barnes frowns down at her, one hand coming up to press at the cut on her temple that’s still bleeding. Darcy bites her lip and shivers.

“C’mon, let’s get you down to medical, Doll.”

He helps her navigate through the remains of the lab and stops Stark with a pointed glare when he attempts to approach them. Thankfully Jane had been out of the building when the goons had attacked the lab, so she wasn’t worried for her friend.

“If I ask you out for coffee, you gonna skip out on me again?” He asks her as they step into the lift.

“I don’t know, maybe I just need some help staying put.” She replies with a small grin.

Barnes holds out his hand and wiggles his fingers invitingly.

Darcy takes a breath and threads her fingers through his.

Internally Darcy is giggling like a loon and doing her happy dance. Her hand feels small in his large warm grip. His fingers are firm but gentle between hers and the pad of his thumb rubs soothing circles in the dip of her wrist. It’s comforting and grounding all at once, making her feel steadier even with the crap ton of adrenalin rushing through her system.

He holds her hand all the way to medical, and through the three stitches the nurse puts in, and then all the way back up to her apartment.

“So…” he says when they reach her door, looking at her through his thick lashes, eyes an aching blue that seem to change shade with each breath.

“You want to come in for coffee?” She blurts out, eyes wide and startled.  She can’t believe she said it out loud. But she wasn’t ready to let go of him yet, damn it. A flush rise’s up her neck at the knowing look in his eyes. Bucky’s lips twitch at the corner and a crooked grin spreads across his face.

“How about I make you some and tea, and I’ll take you out proper, for coffee tomorrow?”

“Are you asking me out on a date Sergeant Barnes?”

“I’ve been trying to ask you out on a date for three weeks, Doll.  And it’s Bucky.”

His eyes twinkle with promise as she tugs on his hand in silent agreement, and he follows her through the door.

He does not let go of her hand.


	2. It's Not A Cuddle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Cuddles

It’s Not A Cuddle

 

“Barnes, are you cuddling me?”

“No…”

“Barnes, it feels like a cuddle.”

“I’m not cuddling you Lewis.”  It’s petulant and makes Darcy want to snigger so hard.  She can hear the pout even if she can’t see it.  Currently, her face is smushed into his right peck and his arm is banded so tightly round her shoulder she can’t turn her head.

“Then what, pray tell, do you call this action of holding me like a koala on a branch?”

“…  Preemptive, aggressive, self-preservation?”

What the actual fuck?

“Barnes, did Sam do the thing again?”

“……”

“He did the thing again.”  Darcy sighs into his shoulder and refrains from inhaling his scent, which is fucking hard because the man smells like heaven.  So, she stands and lets him cling to her like a limpet and pets his back gently, while plotting the best way to convince Clint to help her with some Nair, glitter and disappearing every scrap of towel or clothing from the gym changing room.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Barnes, are we cuddling again?”

“S’not a cuddle Lewis.”

“I’m in your lap…”

“….”

“You’re holding me like a vice, how is this not a cuddle?”  Her voice climbs a little higher, because really?

“Don’t want you falling off when you fall asleep.”  Wait… what?

“You’re anticipating help isn’t coming for so long I’ll have to sleep?”

“Sorry Doll, you’re stuck with me for at least the next 36 hours.”  He sounds grumpy and strained but she knows he’s being all self depreciating, however that sort of shit isn’t gonna fly.

“S’not so bad.”  She tells him shyly, rubbing her cheek against his shoulder.

“Yeah?” 

Was that hope in his tone she wonders?

“Yeah… I’m just gonna… not cuddle you right back.” 

She slips her arms around his waist and clings, because damn it they are stuck half way up a cliff, with a sheer drop to the ocean below and it’s cold enough to freeze the tits off a penguin.  Thank god for the super soldier serum. Sergeant “this is not a cuddle” Barnes, ran hot enough to keep her from getting hypothermia and she wasn’t going to complain about him holding her close and sniffing her hair every so often.  She wriggled a little closer and stifled a giggle when he grunted and tried to shift under her, keeping himself from poking her.

“That a gun in your pocket Sarge?”

“… shut it, Lewis.”  She hears the smile in his voice and presses her nose into his chest to keep warm.

 

* * *

 

 

“This is becoming a habit.”  She sighs as she holds onto his shoulders, her face pressed into his neck.

If she tries hard enough, she can almost imagine his voice insisting that it’s not a cuddle.  But Barnes isn’t here right now.  It’s the Winter Soldier that’s set up shop in her erstwhile crushes brain.

He’d lifted her up into his arms as soon as he entered the common room, her feet clearing the floor by a good six inches, then, he’d hiked her up further with a hand under her thigh until she was practically sitting on his hip like a toddler.  It seemed sensible to wrap her legs around his hips at that point as he was quickly moving from the room at a half jog. 

Now they’re holed up in a safe room and he still hasn’t let her down. 

She’s not scared, in fact, she’s pretty sure he’s the one that’s worried.  It felt like he thought he was being chased when he turned up and whisked her away.

Eventually, after hours standing, he finally sits down, still holding her close and he cuddles into her and tucks his head into her neck.  Darcy feels like her heart grows three sizes.  Then she narrows her eyes.  She’s gonna fuck Sam up so hard for this, he was always winding Barnes up till he snapped.  It had went too far this time.  If there was not a legit threat on the other side of that door, and she finds out he caused this, she is going to Fuck. Him. Up.

Darcy humms a little and runs her fingers through his hair.  Eventually he lifts his head and looks at her.

“Are you cuddling me Lewis?”

“It’s not a cuddle Barnes.”

“You’re wrapped round me like a possum Lewis.”

“You kidnapped me, I just clung on for the ride.”  She doesn’t stop carding her hand through his hair and he rests his head back on her shoulder.

“S’not a cuddle Lewis.”  He agrees.

“Darn tootin.”  She grins as he tightens his arms round her.

 

* * *

 

 

Four hours earlier

 

“This means war Lewis, you hear me?   You’re a dead woman!   I’m gonna strangle you with that fluffy monstrosity you call a scarf!” 

Sam comes running down the hall, screaming at the top of his lungs, yelling death threats.  He’s as naked as the day he was born and there is not a single hair on his body.  His skin sparkles with bright, neon orange, glitter. 

He stops dead when he runs into Barnes and stutters to a halt.  He sees the switch over from Bucky to Winter Soldier and then takes off in the opposite direction. 

The Winter Soldier takes control.  Threat issued against primary caretaker.  The Winter Soldier is on a mission.  Protect Lewis.  She is important to the maintenance of the soldier.  She gives the best cuddles.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It’s been two weeks since the Winter Soldier locked them in a safe room for six hours and Darcy has made headway in "Operation Obliterate" against Sam, or "OO" as she likes to call it.  Currently, he’s found himself locked out of the Tower on five occasion, his security badges stopping working at the worst moments.  Darcy has Jarvis alert her whenever there is a good show to be had.

She’s in the kitchen pulling out a cherry pie when Jarvis alerts her that the latest inconvenience she’s organised for Sam Wilson, is about to begin.

“Right on time.”  She cackles manically.

“Right on time for what?”  Barnes pipes up from behind her.  Darcy just smirks and invites him to sit on the couch with her as Jarvis brings up the security feed for the private elevator.

She places the pie down and grabs two forks, handing one to Barnes as Sam steps inside the elevator.  He keys in his security code and then uses the badge to confirm his authorization.

Barnes frowns and absently scoops up a bite of pie.

Darcy hold her breath, she’s heard rumours, nothing concrete, but she’s hoping that Tony really wasn’t joking about his security measures.

On the screen, the elevator climbs half way up the tower before a warning alarm blares through the small confines of the box. 

Darcy grins as Barnes’ lips twitch in appreciation of the way Sam jumps and clamps his hands over his ears, swiping ineffectually at the security panel with his badge.  Then a klaxon sounds.  Darcy feels the thrill of Saturday morning high jinks as the bottom of the elevator opens and drops Sam down a chute that... Damn...  Tony had camera’s positioned all the way along.  The man is a genius!

A choked snort comes from Barnes as he coughs and swallows the pie.  Then he begins to grin as Sam screams, flying down the chute like a rocket.  Darcy grips her knees and bites her lip hard, tears welling in her eyes.  Oh this is going to be so good!  And it is.  It’s everything she hoped for and more.

The rumours _were_ true.  The elevator was the one-way ticket to vat of slime for any unauthorised parties entering the private lift.

Sam’s arms spun wildly as he was dropped ten feet above the open vat, clawing desperately at the air as he fell and landed right into the bright red goo.

The loud breathless laugh that escapes Barnes’ chest is the most beautiful sound she’s ever heard.  He laughs until he crys and she joins him.

Then it’s like she’s lighter than air and he’s scooping her up in his arms and twirling her before sitting back down, Darcy now firmly ensconced on his knee.  He pulls her in and presses a kiss to her cheek.

“Thank you, Darcy, that’s the best thing I ever saw.”

“My pleasure.” She assures him with bright smile.

He settles back and she falls with him and he doesn’t let go.

“Barnes…”

“Call me Bucky, Doll.”

“Bucky…  what are we doing?”

“What does it look like Doll?  We’re cuddling.”

“Cuddling, huh?”

“Yup.”  He presses a kiss into her hair and she snuggles into his welcome arms.  Cuddling, yup, she could get used to this.

“I like cuddles.”  She breathes out as his arms tighten and his hand strokes down her back, settling in the curve of her waist.

“I know.”  He raises a brow and she finds herself shaking into his chest as she laughs.


	3. Dinner and a Movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Watching a Movie

 

 

Darcy Lewis had a secret.  An embarrassing, mortifying secret that she would admit to no one, ever.  Ever since the eighth grade she had had the hugest, most ridiculous crush on James Buchanan Barnes. 

There had been love hearts and flowers doodled in her text books next to his picture and she had even managed to get her hands on an original Bucky Bear, which, to this day, still slept in her bed with her. 

When the news had broken that her girlhood crush, was in fact, still alive and well and looking just as fine as he did in 1945, it was like dream come true.  She had followed every news article avidly as the whole story unfolded and her heart broke for him. 

The whole thing brought back her crush in full force.  Then, barley a year after she and Jane had moved into the Tower to work for Stark, James Barnes, Bucky, had come back to the USA.  All the legal troubles had been cleared up, he’d been exonerated for his action while in Hydra’s control and Tony Stark, even if still a little bitter about the whole Steve lied to him thing, had given them a floor in the Tower while the Avengers got their shit back together. 

The last eighteen months had been torture.  She couldn’t ignore the guy after all, but it was increasingly difficult to be around him.  Her crush just got bigger and bigger.  Like Steve, he was always unfailingly polite, but he was also a smooth son of bitch that flirted like other people breathed.  Not for a second did she ever take him seriously when he flirted with her, that way lay madness.  So, she endured and tried not to look like she was avoiding him, while she avoided him. 

The down side was, that with him constantly in her head, the thought of dating anyone was pointless, so she’s had a pretty long dry spell.  All she’s done for months is work.  She’d not stepped outside the Tower for anything other than grocery shopping or science conventions in over a year and she was bored and dying from the isolation.  She had to start getting herself out there again.  She couldn’t wait around to get over this silly crush, she had to go out and meet people.  Preferably no one that worked for Stark, because that would be all kinds of terrible when it didn’t work out. She needed a wing woman and a night out dancing.

 

* * *

 

 

It had taken a week to convince Jane to take a night off from work and just relax and Darcy had been adamant that they needed to get outside for bit.  Darcy should have known that nothing could possible be so straight forward. 

First there had been a Tower wide lock-down which meant all residents had to have their bio-metrics re processed.  Then one of the interns had broken one of Jane’s deep space telescopes, and then, when Jane had finally finished re-calibrating it, once the new pieces had been installed, the data it had started running off sent her into science spree.

“I’m sorry, Darcy, really, but I just can’t wait, I have to start working through this right now, there are numbers here that just don’t make sense, we could be on the verge of a huge discovery.”

So here she was, all dressed up and no where to go.  But fuck that, if Jane wouldn’t go out with her, well, there was no reason she couldn’t go by herself. 

Except…  except.  She really didn’t want to go sit in a bar on her own… ugh.  Why couldn’t she just catch a break?

“Hey Doll, why so glum?”

Darcy looked up to find Bucky Barnes, aka, The Winter Hottie, frowning down at her, from where she was slumped on the couch. 

Just what she needed, the guy she crushed on looking at her with pity when she explained how pathetic her life was.  Would there be no end to this torture?

“I’m fine.”  She muttered grabbing her bag and standing.  There was no point being here when she could be curled up on the couch in her own apartment with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s and a bottle of wine.

“Hey, don’t be like that, come on, tell me what’s going on.”

The worst part is he really sounds like he cares, and she knows it’s unfair, but it just makes her feel worse.  There’s no way a guy like him would ever be interested in her.  She wasn’t a super cool ninja assassin like Natasha or smart like Jane or a CEO power goddess like Pepper Potts, she was just Darcy.  Short and what could generously be called curvy, with a gap in her teeth and frizzy hair that never stayed where she put it no matter how much time she spent with product and a straightener.  The truth was, spending time around him was almost painful, she wanted to hug him and run her fingers through his hair and…..  yeah, she was getting away from herself again.  She sighed, there was no point being rude, she’d tell him the truth and accept the pity and obligatory pep talk and be on her way.

“Jane stood me up, we were meant to get dinner and maybe go clubbing for a bit, but she went all science on me and now I’m a lame single on date night with out even my platonic go-to girl.”

 “I’m real sorry to hear that, Doll.  Pretty girl like you shouldn’t ever be stood up.”

 His eyes crinkle when he smiles at her and her thighs clench, she’s pretty sure every panty in a ten-mile radius just dropped. 

“Thanks, Barnes, be sure to tell Jane that if you see her before I do.  I’m just gonna go home and wallow in my misery.”

She gave him a crooked smile and made her way out of the room, aware of his eyes following her till she stepped into the lift.

 

* * *

 

 

Bucky watched her go, shoulders slumped and defeated.  A pretty dame like Darcy shouldn’t be alone on a Saturday night, she outta be out having fun and kicking her heels up.  Hell, if he thought she was interested he would have asked her out months ago, but she never responded when he flirted with her.  Didn’t eye him up the way the other women in the Tower did, didn’t bat her eyes or smile coyly.  She was always sweet and kind and would go outta her way to help if she could, but she was just being nice.  He sighed in frustration.   

Being free to get back to some semblance of life had been a relief but actually settling into the fast-paced modern world was a little more complicated than it looked.  Things were different.  People were different.  Sometimes it seemed like he’d landed on some alien planet. 

Truth was, the only person other than Steve that made sense to him was her.  She was exactly his type of girl, with her soft curves and pouty lips and the dark chocolate curls that seemed to have a mind of their own, just like she did, she was everything he dreamed about.  She had a mouth on her when she was in temper, stood up for herself and didn’t take shit form no one. But he had no idea how to approach her when she never seemed to let her guard down around him.  He figured she was nervous around him at first because of his part, then over time when she still didn’t relax completely and still didn’t respond to any of his pick up lines he’d come to the conclusion that he just wasn’t her type.  But that didn’t mean he had to let her be miserable on a Saturday night.  He could still be a friend.  He wasn’t exactly comfortable in large crowds these days, but maybe she’d still like to get dinner, maybe see a movie after. 

 

* * *

 

 

Darcy had barley got through her front door when there was a knock on it.  Who the hell could it be?  Opening the door to find Barnes on the other side was the last thing she was expecting.

“Hey…. Ummm… did you need something?”  she asked feeling confused, her head tipping to one side as she looked up at him.

“Yeah… uhh.  Look, I know you’re not interested in me, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be your friend Doll. The reservations for your dinner still good?  Figured if you want some company, I’d be happy to go with you.  Can’t really go clubbing, but we could catch a movie maybe?”

Darcy blinked….   She knew her jaw was on the floor and snapped her mouth shut with a click of her teeth, but the apparition in front of her was still there.  Had she fallen asleep somewhere and was dreaming this?  Had Jane made the lab explode and she was now in a coma, a very nice coma, where handsome super soldiers asked her out on not dates because she wasn’t interested? What planet was he living on?  Not interested?  Wait a minute…

“You like me?”

Bucky frowned at the disbelief in her voice.

“Well I wasn’t exactly subtle about Doll, I’ve been flirting with you for months.”

“You flirt with everyone….”

“No I don’t…”

“Yes, you do, Jessica in accounting was practically in your lap in the cafeteria last week.”

“I wasn’t flirting with her, she stopped to ask me the time.”

“Well, Tracy from acquisitions was feeling up your arm last month in the stairwell and you had your arms around her.”

“She nearly fell down the damn stairs in those stupid heels she wears, I caught her before she broke her neck.”

“But…..  you like me?”  she asked, quieter now, trying to work out if he meant it.

“Doll, you drive me outta my damn mind.  You have to know you’re the prettiest dame in the state of New York.  But you’re kind too, and funny and the way you smile makes me crazy.”

Darcy bit her lip hard to keep from grinning as her cheeks flushed red.

“So…. If I was interested… would this be a date?”

The smile he gave her was blinding and she couldn’t help but return it.

“Dinner and movie sure does sound like a date sweetheart.”

“I’ll get my coat.”

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Then what happened?”  Jane asks her demandingly.

“We went to dinner, had a blast and then we watched a movie together.”

“What movie?”

Darcy shrugs a little helplessly. 

“I can’t remember.”  She hisses.

Jane gives her a knowing look.

“Was the movie any good?”  Jane tries again as Darcy feels her cheeks flush in embarrassment.

“It was great.”  Darcy crosses her arms defensively, then relents. “We had a great time _not_ watching it together.”  Jane squeals in glee and giggles.

“Did he do the thing?”

“What thi….  Oh, the thing!”  Darcy smiles wildly and sighs with a mock swoon.  “He was so smooth, full ten points for style and execution.  The yawn and stretch in all it’s traditional perfection.  But then I’m pretty sure he probably invented the move in the first place. He did it so well it wasn’t even cheesy.”   In Darcy’s defence she had tried to roll her eyes when he’d pulled it off, but the wink and grin he gave her was so hot she had just went with it and snuggled in.

“So, are you seeing him again?”

“Yup, we’re going to have dinner tonight in my apartment and watch some Netflix.”

“Watch?”

“Shut up.”

Jane shakes her head in amusement, her eyes bright as Darcy potters off to her office.

When Steve had cornered her last week and told him about Bucky and his unrequited crush on Darcy she had been lost for words.  Between the two of them they had plotted out the whole thing.  Steve got the tower into lock-down so Bucky couldn’t go for his usual walk about.  They had had movie posters in every advertising space in the building and she had paid Leona to break the telescope just in time to pull off her rather complicated science emergency.  Getting Darcy to meet her in the common room before breaking the news to her had been timed down to the second so that Steve could make sure Barnes walked in at just the right moment.  Neither of them would have appreciated her or Steve meddling so it had been more complicated than it had to be.

“Not bad Foster.”  Jane nearly jumps out of her skin as Natasha appears beside her.

“I liked the touch with the dinner reservations, the table was in the best position to offer Barnes a comfortable line of sight.”

“They can never know.”   Jane says seriously.

“Know what?”  Natasha shrugs as she leaves, a tiny smirk at the corner of her mouth.  It was good when a plan came together.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. I Just Fucking Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: On A Date
> 
> I got a bit dramatic on this one.

"C'mon Doll, we gotta run."  He held her hand, pulling her along as they bolted.  Darcy wasn't sure how she kept up, only knew that if they stopped, they were dead, so she forced herself to move.  She stifled the shriek she felt as he hoisted her into the air and up onto a metal platform.  She felt sick from running and took deep lungfuls of the cold night air, forcing the nausea down, then biting her lip till it almost bled.

It had all started out really well.  There had been flowers when he picked her up at the door, he had offered his arm and escorted her to the car.  They’d had dinner in a wonderful restaurant and she had been looking forward to the dancing all night, her feet tapping under the table until he’d caught her feet between his legs and started playing footsie, that part had been fun.

Things had went downhill on the way to dance club.  The sudden appearance of a red dot on his chest had her yelp as she tried to get him to move.

Bucky had been fast after that, getting them both out of sight line, that was when they’d noticed the van’s drawing up and the armed men being disgorged from the dark depths.

Then all they had done was run.  Up one street, down an alley, over a fence…  if she ever had to run for her life again she was wearing sneakers.  She’d lost both heels along the way and her stockings were torn and the soles of her feet ached.

Currently they were half way up a fire escape, waiting to see if their pursuers would give them up for lost.

He was holding her close, both his arms around her as they pressed deep into the shadows.  She could feel herself shaking, desperately trying to catch her breath from the near panic attack that was threatening.  If they got out of this alive she was never leaving the tower again without a security escort and a taser.  She could feel the cold seeping into her from where she stood on the metal grating.  One of his hands cradled the back of her neck, his thumb gently stroking behind her ear as she buried her face in his jumper.  The beat of her heart echoed loudly in her ears as she clenched her teeth tightly, willing the shaking and chattering to stop.

“Darcy…  They’re not gonna stop till they have me.  There’s too many of them, sweetheart.  I’m putting you in danger like this.”

His harsh whisper was full of apologetic agony.  What was he saying?

“No… no, don’t you dare…  what if they find me anyway?  You can’t just give yourself up.”  Her fists clenched in the soft wool as she hissed her denial.

“I’m sorry, Doll.  Now listen to me okay?”

“No…  you can’t…Bucky..”

“Please sweetheart, please just do what I say…  I couldn’t live with it if I got you killed, it would destroy me Darcy.”  He pled, pressing  kisses into the crown of her head.  


“But….”

“Please, Darcy” 

Darcy felt the tears welling in her eyes as she finally accepted what was happening.  No, no it was so unfair, why now?  Things were good, _they_ were good.  They had clicked with each other right away.  As soon as they had met over a year ago, it had been as though her life suddenly just fitted into place, a place right beside him.  They’d only been dating officially for a few months, but it was really working between them.  He was so much better than he had been, he’d made so much progress after the shit he’s been through…  she rested her head on his chest and nodded reluctantly. 

“Okay…  okay, what’s the plan?”  she breathed out as he relaxed a little in relief.

“I’m gonna lead them off, you stay here, you don’t move, don’t make a sound.  Stay as long as you can, then I want you to get back on the street and duck into the first store you find and call the emergency number.  Don’t give your name, just your security number and hang up.  Find the bathroom and wait for someone you know to pick you up, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good, now repeat it back, what are you gonna do?”

“Wait as long as I can, go back to the street, find the first shop, call the emergency number and give my security code and hang up.  Wait in the bathroom for someone I know to come get me.”

“Good girl, you’re gonna be fine.  I promise...”

“Bucky…  I…. “  her voice broke as she tried to say something, anything to him, anything but goodbye.

“I’m so sorry Doll, you have no idea…  Darcy… Sweetheart…  I…  Just stay safe alright? Follow the plan.”

“Promise me….  Promise me you won’t let them kill you.  You don’t go out there and get dead, do you hear me Bucky Barnes?  You come back to me.”  She choked out her words, tiny fists thumping against his chest.

He kissed her then, it was swift and hard and full of longing and begging forgiveness.  She kissed him back just as passionately, willing the kiss to gentle, to let him know she could forgive him anything so long as he came back to her.

His hands cradled her jaw gently as he broke the kiss, her lips, suddenly bare and empty of him, had her fingers digging into his wrists fiercely, unable to let him go.

“I love you, Darcy.”  His raw honesty stole her breath, left her unable to breath.  Before she could speak he let go of her, vaulting over the railing and landing hard in the alley below.

She stood there, mouth open, staring into the darkness as she listened to him draw their pursuers away. 

No, no, no, no, just no.  He did _not_ just do that to her.  She wanted to scream at the unfairness of it all.  How could he say _that_ to her and leave?  She didn’t even say it back…  he was just gone. 

Sitting on the fire escape till her feet were almost numb, thinking of his parting words had her by turns furious and overwhelmed with love.  He loved her.  He told her he loved her, and then he left her here, like some big damn hero in some sappy romance.  She would have said it back if he’d just waited a moment.  Because she did love him, loved him so much is made her heart hurt.  The worst part, the worst fucking part was she knew he meant it as goodbye…  because he hadn’t promised he’d come back.  He went out there thinking he wouldn’t be able to.  She wiped her eyes angrily on her sleeve, trying to stem the constant stream of tears.  Eventually she shimmied down the fire-escape and made her way to safety.  Within twenty minutes of calling in her number in, Clint had turned up to bring her back to the tower.  There was an escort and a military grade SUV to pick her up.

She’s still shaking when she reaches the Tower, she’s whisked off to medical and her feet are cleaned and wrapped and the cut on her heel needed stitches.  Other than that, and a mild case of shock, she’s fine.  Fine, she’s fine…  except she’s not fine, she’s so far from fine she’s crossed borders, she’s currently residing in the Republic of Freaking the Fuck Out.  No one will talk to her or tell her what’s going on.  Jane is tight lipped when she appears and tries to get Darcy to rest, but the thought of sleeping is so far out of the realms of possibility right now that it’s a joke.

She can’t get the last image of his eyes out of her mind, he was scared for her, not him, and he looked so damn sorry as he told her he loved her.  Darcy glares angrily at her hands where her nails are digging into her palms, sharp and hard and white in the beds.  She forces her hands to uncurl and hisses at the sting and the angry purple half moons left indented in her skin. 

What if he didn’t come back?  What if this was it, the end, before they even got to start? 

Eventually Darcy convinced Jane she couldn’t stay in bed, she was just too wired and stressed to sleep and they went to the common room.  The room was quiet, no Mario Kart on the big screen, no Tony and Steve bickering at the island in the kitchen, no Sam and Clint making wise cracks and sniping each other with popcorn.  They were all out looking for Bucky.

Jane finally fell asleep just before the sun started to rise.  Darcy got up and found a blanket to put over her friend before moving about the room, straightening pillows, and throws, then over to the open plan kitchen to empty the dishwasher.  There were half empty cups strewn on the counter and two plates sat with a meal untouched.  All indications of the abrupt scramble that must have took place when Darcy called in.  It was as though life had just been put on pause, a reminder that although she wanted nothing more than to go back to that moment and say something, she couldn’t.  She busied herself with all the small chores as the sun’s light continued to fill the room.  The counter tops were gleaming when she was done, she was putting away the cloth when the elevator dinged and the doors opened. 

Darcy spun round to see who was there and nearly fell over in relief.  She flew across the room as he staggered out of the lift.  He was mess.  His face was bruised, his shirt torn in places and there was blood everywhere.  He caught her when she launched herself into his arms, her name ripped out of him in a choked sob.

She whispered his name over and over again as he rocked her against him. So thankful that he was here, alive.

A sudden fury filled her when she realised he wasn’t about to keel over and die and she stepped back from him.

The crack of her palm against his cheek echoed violently through the room.  She was wide-eyed and gaping at her own action.  He didn't look shocked at what she had done though, just resigned.

“What the hell did you do that for?  You can’t just tell me you love me and then leave me!  That is not how this works.  You don’t just confess your love and run off to die.”

At her words he relaxes a fraction, as though he were almost happy to hear her chastisement.

“Darcy, babydoll…”

It's his placating, voice, the one he tries to use when she's worked herself up into a into an apoplexy.  Usually she's happy to let him cajole her into a better mood but right now she wants to shout and scream and stamp her foot is she feels like it.  he ows her that at least, after what he put her through.

“Don’t you Babydoll me James Barnes, you are going to stand there and listen.”

“Darcy, I’m sorry…”  she cuts him off, she's going to say her piece no matter how sorry or sincere he is.

“No.. uhuh…  You are unbelievable, you know that?  I asked you to promise me you’d come back and instead you say those words like they were some sort of ending.  Like you weren’t coming back."  Her hands are waving in the air as she grasps to articulate herself  "You didn’t even wait for me to say anything, you just jumped.  Do you know how scared I was, how fucking terrified? "  She sucks in a breath, even as she feels more words bubbling up, but it's less angry now, accusation is winding through her tone.  "It felt like you were saying goodbye, Bucky, I thought you were dead.  You tore out my heart.  Don’t you get it?  How much you mean to me?"  Darcy squeezed her eyes shut and let out a involantary sob is frustration.  "I can’t breath, I can’t sleep, I can’t fucking live without you.  You got so far under my skin I can’t scrub you out.  There is no world for me without you in it, do you understand?  I love you, I love you….   I love you so much I don’t know who I am without you anymore… and you just left….  I love you, I want to hate you right now, but I just. Fucking. Love you.”  She stood panting, shuddering in the wake of the soul wringing words she had vomited out and then she burst into tears. 

She felt the ground fall away as he lifted her into his arms and then they were on the couch as he settled her into his lap while she let all the fright and bottled up emotion of the last twelve hours wash away.  He didn’t say anything, just held her until she finally stopped, tiny hiccups escaping her as she lay against him. 

“Better?”  he asked her quietly, his hand rubbing soothing circles into her skin just above her hip.

She nodded her head and blinked stupidly as he produced an immaculate handkerchief from somewhere for her to wipe her face with.

“I know it wasn’t the right time to say it for the first time, I... but…  I didn’t know what was going to happen Doll.  But I knew I couldn’t go, not without saying it at least once.  I’m sorry you thought it was goodbye, that’s not what I meant, but I couldn’t make a promise to you if I didn’t know I could keep it.”  He reached up and cupped her face, his palm pressing into the line of her jaw until she met his eyes.  “You gotta know…  Darcy, you changed everything for me.  Everything you just said, it’s the same for me.  You’re in me Darce, in my blood and bones, a part of my I don’t ever want to live without.  When we were out there last night, all I wanted was for you to be safe, I knew your best chance was without me.  I love you sweetheart, I love you so much that if anything happened to you… if you died…  I’d be right behind you babydoll, cause you’re all the good that’s left in my world.  I can’t promise not to do it again, not if it means keeping you safe.  I can promise that I’ll fight for you, to come back to you.  I can promise I’ll never stop loving you.  I can promise that as long as I live there will never be a time when I won’t do everything in my power to make you happy. Because darling, I just fucking love you too.”  He looked as wrecked as she felt, his voice strong and adamant in his declaration. 

His words echo in her mind and she felt such a swell and rush of emotion she thought she might burst into tears again.  Instead she pressed her lips to his.  It wasn’t like before, there was no desperation in this kiss, it just was.  It was slow and steady, their lips telling a story to each other, making silent promises, finding peace.  She felt the knowledge of what they were settle into her soul, it was clarity and a profound sense of rightness, as though where once she had thought she was whole, she found that wholeness to now be complete.  They come through something life changing, something that realigned the world for them both.  It was a paradigm shift.  The kiss drew out, and she moaned softly as he pulled back, resting his head to hers, their eyes holding each other, unable to look away. 

Darcy sniffed and nodded as he stroked her cheek, wiping away the last of her tears.

“Okay…  Can we go home now?”  She felt exhausted, all she wanted was her bed and Bucky.  Her eyes were drooping as she tucked her head back into his neck, breathing in his scent.

“Anything you want Doll.”  She closed her eyes and melted into the sway as he stood, safe in his arms.  She was only partially aware of the movement as he carried her, caught the murmur of voices as they passed through the hall and felt his chest rumble in response as he answered whoever was speaking. 

She was floating in a sea of emotion as he helped her into bed, the panic when he left her side was abrupt, but he whispered her fear away and went to shower before finally joining her in bed.  When he did, he tangled himself around her and she could finally relax.  He loved her.  He really loved her and she almost didn’t want to sleep while she held those words in her head. 

“Sleep Darcy. I’m right here, m’not going anywhere.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

She finally let sleep claim her, the last thought…  It hadn’t been the worst date she’d ever had, but it had had the best ending, a happy one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Working On It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to thank everyone for taking the time to comment and leave kudo's, you are all amazing and incredible people and I love you so much, thank you!
> 
> Prompt: Kissing

 

 

Exactly no one in the Tower was surprised at how well Darcy and Bucky Barnes bonded once he and Steve moved back to New York. 

Darcy’s bubbly personality coupled with her insatiable drive to fix people had her stalking the former Winter Soldier within hours of him stepping foot in the Tower.  She was dogged in her determination to welcome him.

Under her constant assault of charm, light flirting and encouragement to join the larger group for dinner and movie nights, Bucky slowly came out of his shell. 

The first time she kissed him was in the heat of the moment.  She’d been running form Sam after he discovered she’d replaced all his coffee with de-caff.  She’d burst into the gym, breathless and giggling wildly when she came across her new friend.

“Hide me, quick, or Sam is gonna string me up.” 

Bucky had flicked his eyes towards the vault box and lifted the top, revealing the cavity within. 

Darcy wasted no time in running over and trying to climb in, but being short had its disadvantages.  Before she could complain Bucky had lifted her up, princess style before lowering her in with a wink and replacing the top.

A few minutes later Sam had come huffing into the gym.

“Barnes, you seen Lewis?”

“Not since yesterday, why?  You need her for something?”

“Yeah, something.” Sam muttered angrily before leaving.

Darcy held back the cackle that was threatening to burst.  The top lifted and Darcy spring up like a jack-in-the-box, flinging her arms around his neck in a victory hug.

“My hero!” 

He pulled her out and placed her down again but before he let go of her she placed a smacking kiss on his cheek.

“Thanks, big guy, gotta go…  don’t forget, Saturday at 7, dinner and a movie.”

She was gone before he could do more than lift a hand to where she had pressed her lips.

Bucky stares in consternation at the door, wondering what the hell just happened.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Steve’s not stupid, he’s seen the change in his friend ever since Miss Darcy Lewis had steamrollered into their lives.  The girl is hell on wheels and doesn’t seem to take no for an answer.

There had been the Welcome Back cupcakes with silver frosting and red star sprinkles, Steve had nearly choked when she’d thrust the plate into Bucky’s hands, fully expecting him to react badly, but instead he had frowned at the girls hand, a tiny crinkle appearing in the corner of his eyes as he took in the silver pained nails, her middle finger’s adorned with a bright red star on each.  Steve wasn’t sure what it was that Bucky found funny about it, but he had.

Then there had been the Harry Potter movie marathon she’d insisted they sit through.  She’d provided pop corn and chips and beer and had proceeded to talk the whole way through, her feet propped up in Bucky’s lap like they belonged there as she explained everything she felt was culturally relevant.  She ignored Steve’s attempts to indicate that she was invading Bucky’s space and, when about an hour into the first movie Bucky had grabbed her ankles to keep her still he’d thought the worst.  Instead Bucky had just pulled her closer until her calves were over his lap and he’d slung an arm round her to support her back.  Darcy had just snuggled right in and continued her ramble while Steve gaped from the armchair.

It had taken a few months for it to sink in with Steve that Darcy treated Bucky the same was she did everyone, with irreverent respect, tongue in cheek humour and tactile affection.  She was a hugger, she cooked for people, she always had a way of cheering everyone up, even on the worst days.  Other than Pepper, Darcy was the only one allowed into Tony’s lab without a security override.  Bruce positively beamed as she chattered to him over breakfast tea and even Natasha let the girl drag her off shopping or to the spa.  He’d thought at first that the art supplies that kept showing up in his apartment were from Tony or Natasha, but no, Darcy Lewis had somehow figured out his favourite brands and needs and provided them without expectation of thanks. 

Bucky seemed to get the full experience though, she brought him shopping and encouraged him to buy things that made him feel good.  She brought a pile of books after Bucky had casually mentioned his love for science fiction.  And every Saturday night she made him dinner and played the big band music Bucky had loved back in the 40’s.

That’s what he walks in on, the music’s blaring loud enough that neither of them hears him come in and he stands still and watches the couple before him.  It’s like he’s suddenly back in those crowded dance halls in Brooklyn.  It’s like seeing a ghost he’s thought long dead.  Bucky is grinning at her as she laughs, spinning out on the floor and letting him swing her through the air with shrieks of delight. 

He doesn’t stay, but backs out of the room slowly, feeling as though he’s seem something he shouldn’t have.  Before he can close the door, the music stops and the two clutch each other breathlessly, Darcy leaning into him, Bucky’s hands on her waist.  He watched as his friend presses his lips into her hair-line bestowing a kiss, and thanks her for the dance.  The radiant smile she returns to Bucky hits Steve like lightening. 

As Steve walks away he ponders exactly what it is he’s feeling, but honestly it’s a jumble of emotions that all lead back to one fact.  Where Steve had failed to find his old friend inside the damaged shell of the winter soldier, Darcy Lewis had succeeded.  She’d brought him back, slowly but surely.  Instead of the jealousy and resentment he knows is itching in the back of his brain he focuses on the gratitude instead.  He can see where it’s headed, this thing between them and he resolves then that he’ll do whatever it takes to make sure they get their chance at happiness.  Bucky deserves nothing less from his friend.  Steve will protect Darcy Lewis till the day he dies because he knows, if something happens to her, Bucky will retreat and allow the soldier back. 

 

* * *

 

 

The first time he does more than press a kiss into her hair, it’s not because anything monumental happens.  It’s a day like any other, Darcy has handed out packets to all the Avengers with the briefings for the press conference later that day and she is rushing around the common kitchen making sure everyone has had breakfast as she tops up her coffee and fixes one for Bucky since he’s only just come in.  When she brings him the coffee and places it on the table in front of him he turns his head and gives her cheek a quick peck in silent thanks, she squeezes his shoulder briefly before leaving, calling out to remind everyone they’re due in the lobby at four.

Darcy keeps her smile fixed firmly in place until she reaches the elevator and the door close and then she allows herself a moment to freak out a little.  He’d just kissed her, right in front of everyone and yeah, okay, he’s been pressing tiny kisses into her hair for a month now when they danced or snuggled on the couch and she hadn’t taken it as anything other than brotherly, but that…. That was… well it was something else entirely.  It had felt like a sleepy morning hello, the sort of kiss you gave your other half after months of living together, like a part of your daily routine that needed no explanation, but they were just friends, right?  Except friends didn’t have lunch every day and spend evenings watching Netflix together while cuddling on the couch….  Christ on a cracker, has she been dating him and never even noticed?  Did he think they were dating?  Were they? 

 

* * *

 

 

Christmas was only a week away and the Tower was hung with holly and mistletoe, trees were festooned with ribbons and tinsel and Darcy was about ready to cry with the preparations for the Christmas Eve ball.  All she wanted was to go home and sleep for a week.  Instead she was stuck counting chairs, ordering the place cards for the dinner and finding a seating arrangement that wouldn’t lead to a political nightmare. 

She was just about to leave the common room and head to her apartment when a voice stopped her.

“Darcy, I’ve been looking for you, Doll.”

“Hey Bucky, what’s up?” 

She was standing in the hall just outside the kitchen when he caught up with her.

Before he said a word, he looked above her and raised an eye brow.  She tilted her head and smirked.  There was a bunch of mistletoe hanging right over where she stood.

They both unconsciously moved a little closer.

Unbidden, her thoughts all went right there.  He was so close she could smell him, the intoxicating scent sandalwood and gun oil making her dizzy.  Although they spent a frequent amount of time together and he had kissed her cheek a few weeks ago, she still hadn’t managed to figure out a way to make a move on him.  Now, overhead was the perfect way to settle the question once and for all.

“Huh, I guess I’m just gonna be stuck here till someone kisses me.”  Her teeth catch her lower lip and she looks up at him with big blue eyes, willing the universe to please, just please listen to her just this once.

Bucky thinks if he doesn’t make a move now, they’ll still be where they are this time next year.

“Could be a while, everyone’s out right now.”  He drawls mischievously.  

“Yes, they are.”  The smile on her face widens as he draws closer.  He’s got this look in his eyes, like he thinks she might back out, but that is so far from the truth as to be laughable. 

Darcy hooks her fingers through his belt loops and tugs him even closer, till there’s hardly a space between them at all.  He mirrors her earlier expression, that bottom lip of his held down by his teeth like he’s stopping himself form saying something particularly filthy and a thrill runs up her spine

Slender fingers walk a path up his chest, and he catches her waist in one hand, their bodies now pressed together hip to chest and Darcy feels the hitch in her breath at the warmth of him.  His other hand runs through her hair, tugging the locks back from her face before his thumb traces a line down her neck.

There’s a moment in that silence between them, before they kiss that feels like the universe paused for just a second and it makes her head swim. 

Pressing up on her toes, her belly fills with butterflies.  His eyes darken and the hand on her moves smoothly around till it’s splayed against her back, keeping her steady.

At first, it’s just a light brush of lips, both of them figuring out how this will work.  It grows stronger and deepens, heat rushes through her blood as she hooks her arms round his neck and sinks her fingers into his hair.

The little moan he makes draws a smile to her lips and he traces the seam of her mouth with his tongue, begging entrance.  Now it’s her that moans, as he teases into her mouth, all hot and wet and tasting like coffee and cherries.  Nothing could have prepared her for the sudden zing of fire rushing through her core, the insistent need that ached for far more than a simple kiss.  He felt it too she knew, if the way he intensified the assault on her mouth was anything to go by.  Then she was drowning in him, sparks dancing over her skin where he touched her, his hands seeming to be everywhere at once.  For those blessed minutes the only thing that existed for her was him, the firmness of his chest, the soft sweetness of his lips and the strength of his arms holding her up.  Lightheaded they finally broke away from each other, surety and excitement in every short breath. 

“Do I need to hang mistletoe everywhere to get you to kiss me like that again?”  She asks him with a grin.

The soft smile he gave her turned to full blown laughter and he picks her up, spinning her around as she yelps in surprise.

“Don’t need nothing except you, Doll.”


	6. What's Mine is Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Wearing the others clothes.
> 
> Hardest one to finish so far. Small note that I'm writing these, one day at a time. I saw this February Challenge as a good test and way to exercise my writing skills.

 

 

 

Darcy knows Tuesdays are a bad idea, the worst in fact, because according to Jane’s flow charts, graphs and computer simulations this is the day of the week that Darcy is most likely to be kidnapped on.  You would think with that sort of data available she would have been more careful when deciding to do a quick run out to the nice Italian two blocks down to get their lunch, but alas the odds were against her.  She and Jane had been awake for three days cataloguing the data from some once in a lifetime astronomical event and SOMEONE had forgotten to change the day calendar hanging on the office wall.  With barely a glance at the date, Darcy assumed it was Monday and went on her merry way.  She didn’t even reach the Italian before she was bagged and tagged by some evil Hench-men.

This was a first for Darcy, usually it was the goons from A.I.M that rocked up to pick up her fine ass. Today she’d hit the kidnapping lottery and won the grand-prize, it looked like her current captors were some branch of Hydra.  She wasn’t too worried, it’s not like she hadn’t been in this situation before, after all, surly one brand of kidnappers couldn’t be worse than another? Right?

Wrong, so, so wrong.  She’d been strip searched and them stuffed into a hospital gown before they threw her in a cell.  To add insult to injury, she was freezing, no heating, no blanket and when she’d complained, loudly, someone had thrown water over her.  Which is how she came to be sitting in a cell with hypothermia setting in.

By the time the sounds of possible rescue appeared she was nearly numb from the cold. 

When the door opened she didn’t have the strength to do more than shiver in the corner where she was curled up.  The man who stepped into her line of sight lowered his gun quickly once he had assessed she was not a threat hunkered down to look at her.  She didn't recognize him but the gleaming metal arm sort of gave it away anyway.

“Hey, I’m gonna get you out of here, okay?  Can you walk sweetheart?”

“I can try.”  She told him through chattering teeth.  He eyed the loose gown, still damp, clinging to her skin and made a noise of anger.  She was only vaguely aware of his muttered cursing.  It turned out she couldn’t walk after all, hell she could hardly uncoil from her foetal position.  He had dispassionately tugged the wet material off of her and then she was enveloped in warmth.  The hoodie had had taken off and put on her fell all the way down to her knees.  The last thing she remembered as he carried her from the facility was how fucking grateful she was for that ratty warm hoodie that smelled like week-old man sweat and gun powder.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Being on the run with the Winter Soldier was a fuck ton of fun, thought no one ever.  It was however an education.  Darcy had tagged along after him more out of a sense of fear at first.  He was one scary motherfucker.  What little she remembered of leaving the base had been the veritable trail of bodies laid out along their exit path.  The files he had stolen were all digital and encrypted.  With Darcy’s ability to hack, he’d been happy to provide the equipment she needed to help decode the files.  There was all sorts of interesting suff on there.  Like why they took Darcy in the first place and it had nothing to do with Jane.  Turns out she had stepped on a few toes when she had hacked the Shield database years ago, that she had information she didn’t know was important and though it wasn’t clear how, they had discovered that she had an eidetic memory.  They had brought her in for interrogation, luckily the same base they had taken her too had also been on Bucky’s list of revenge hits.

So here she was, three months later, kitted out head to toe in black Kevlar and leather watching his six like some sort of femme fatal from a cheesy porn thriller.  At this point she’s not sure if she’s sorry not to be going back to her old life just yet or if she’s fallen so deep down the rabbit hole that she just doesn’t want to leave anymore.

Bucky, as he insists, she call him, is one broody son of a bitch but underneath the gruff exterior and the muscle there’s a vulnerable guy desperate to find meaning in his life again. 

She stays awake some nights unable to sleep for the tossing and turning and occasional shouts that come from his room.  If she ever gets the chance to hurt the people that hurt him she’d gonna take it with both hands and eviscerate the fuckers.  Which is why she’s following him into an occupied Hydra base at dark o’clock in the morning.

Bucky’s sure that the book he’s looking for will be here, or at least copies of it.  He’s explained as best he could about the trigger words and how it sends him out of his own head leaving only a highly suggestible assassin behind.   Darcy had him wear coms in both ears, if he starts acting funny because someone begins spluttering bullshit phrases or words she’d blast Metallica so hard he’ll bust an ear drum.  Better that than him gone and her dead.

They get in and out with little fuss.  Hydra will be down around 55 personnel and a base in Sweden but she and Bucky bear are up one copy of the infamous red book and a lead on where Karpov, the last holder of the original copy might be living.

She showers and gets ready for bed, everything she owns is in the wash right now, she’d been soaked in blood down to her underwear.  He’d been pretty brutal tonight, in fact in the months she’s known him he’s never been so violent.  It’s her fault, she knows, she let her guard down for a just a second and one of the guards got the drop on her. 

He’d had her by her hair, twisting it till her head was wrenched to one side, the cold metal of the gun he held, pressed up under her jaw.  He’d tried to get Bucky to surrender, but Darcy refused to be the cause of his recapture, besides, she’d probably be dead if he was.  The second the goon had focused solely on The Winter Soldier and started to spout off random words in Russian Darcy had brought her arms up, breaking the hold the goon had on her and ripping a chunk of hair out of her scalp so hard in the process that she’d yelped even as she ducked down.  The three knives that buried themselves in the operatives throat cut open his carotid in a dramatic spray of blood that had drenched her in the coppery fluid.  The guy had been dead before he hit the ground and Bucky had grabbed her roughly, checking for injuries.  She joked the only thing hurt was her pride, he’d taken that like a led balloon and then tipped her chin up with his hand and made her look at him.  They had stared at each other, her feeling scared and exposed and him vibrating with fear and anger.  The kiss he planted on her felt like it came out of nowhere and at the same time somehow inevitable.  The way she had responded hungrily had probably left him in no way uncertain how she felt about him.  But since getting back to the crappy apartment they were renting he hadn’t said a word to her.

When she leaves the bathroom she finds he’s left her a t-shirt of his to wear to bed.  It’s soft and worn from many washes and although it’s clean the scent of him still clings to it.  It skims the back of her thighs, half way to her knees and she sinks thankfully into her bed, pulling up the covers and hoping for sleep.

This time when she wakes to hear him thrashing on the other side of the wall, she makes her way to his room and crawls into his bed.  She whispers soothing words and chatters till he finally calms down.  He comes awake slowly and she wonder if she should have left before he woke up but then decides that if they’re gonna make this work they both have to acknowledge that things have changed. 

When his eyes open he gives the softest smile to her and reaches out and pulls her close till she’s snuggled into his chest, both his arms encompassing her.  It’s like that for a long time, them just lying there, touching each other innocently, mostly, as they cuddle.  The warmth of him is hard to ignore through the thin t-shirt and she wraps herself tightly around him.  He buries his nose in her hair and breathes her in, the hot puff of air as he exhales tickles her ear and sends a spark of want through her. That’s when he speaks, the words he says feel like cold water being poured over her.  

“We have to go in.”  Darcy tries to wrap her brain around his words.  In the beginning she had tried talking him into going to the Avengers for help but he’d resisted.

“We…. Or me?”  The silence echo’s around her question.  It feels as though there is no air while she waits for his answer.  

She leans up on her elbow and stares down at him in the dimness of the street light filtering through the windows.  The shadows play across his face as they take each other in.

His hand rises to cup her face and she presses her cheek into his palm, he gently tugs her bottom lip with his thumb and Darcy closes her eyes and lets him draw her down into a kiss that makes her spine arch and her toes curl.  It escalates quickly, the heat between them igniting.  He flips her onto her back and she eagerly parts her thighs, cradling him between them.  The gasp she makes when he presses his growing hardness into her core spurs him to rock against her.  Darcy whimpers into his mouth, her hips grinding up into him with each thrust. Tugging on his hair to get his attention he stops, both of them panting.

“We, or me?”  She isn’t going to let this go any farther until she knows what it means, for both of them.  Is this just one night?  An accumulation of stress and close quarters and life and death?  Or is it more?  Maybe she fell out of the idea of fairy tales long ago, but in this second she wished for her own.  It didn’t have to be easy, it didn’t matter if there were obstacles and murderous organisations after them, she just needed this, him and her, together, because she knew she was falling for him. Had, in fact, already fallen in the instant his ratty hoodie had been gently tugged over her cold naked body in that facility, what seemed like a life time ago. 

Bucky knew what she was asking.  But he had been running for a long time.  Even before the war he’d always felt he was running form something.  From settling down, from making a commitment, from the fucking war, god knows if he could have found a way to avoid the fucking draft he would have.  He’s been running his whole damn life, maybe it’s time to stop.  The fact was, he wanted to stop.  It was time to face what had happened, time to fix what he could.  Maybe if he took the chance, he could have this, could have her, be happy.  She’d wormed her way under his skin with her strength and her humour, the way she never gave up, determination running through every inch of her.  She wasn’t scared of him, didn’t pull away in disgust from him, even after what he’d done yesterday.  Even soaked in the blood of the man he’d murdered she had kissed him.  Kissed him back like she meant it, like it was a promise.  Staring into her eyes he makes a decision, it’s time to stop running and start living.

“We…  Us…  If that’s what you want.”  The way he says it, she knows he means more than just them going in together, he wants what she wants, them, a future.

“Yes…  that’s what I want. Together, we do it together.”

“Okay.”

“And I’m keeping the t-shirt.”

“What’s mine is yours sweetheart.”  He says as he peels it off her.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

5 years later

 

It’s been a rough week for Darcy, she’d done nothing but potter around the apartment organising and reorganising like crazy.  Sleepless nights plagued her constantly, no matter how many times she tossed and turned she just couldn’t sleep. 

Bucky was due home in two days, but she wished it would be sooner.  His work for the Avengers was important and she didn’t begrudge the time he spent on missions.  It was just that right now, right now she just really needed him. 

Earlier on, while sorting through the closet she had found an old duffel bag, one that they must have brought with them from Europe when they finally came back to the states for help.  In the bottom of the bag she found a ratty old hoodie, _the_ ratty old hoodie, in fact.   Bringing it to her nose she had inhaled the musky scent of him and promptly sneezed from the dust.  She’d wasted no time putting it in the wash.

Ensconced on the couch later that evening, wearing nothing but the hoodie and a thick afghan tucked over her lap watching an episode of Call the Midwife she felt herself finally drifting off.

It was the warm hand rubbing her belly over the hoodie that woke her, the feeling of the tiny limbs kicking back against his hold bringing a smile to her face.

“You’re back.”  There was nothing better than a Bucky shaped surprise, on any day of the week.

“You look tired doll, little bump keeping you up?”

“Little bump doesn’t like it when you’re gone.”  Her hand covers his and he settled into the couch and brings her onto his lap.  Ever since she told him she was pregnant he’s treated her like spun glass, no matter how many times she tells him, he still treats her like the wrong knock or jolt might break her.  It’s endearing but frustrating.  Right now though, she’ll take it. 

“Where on earth did you find this old thing?”  He asks, plucking at the material of the hoodie where it stretched over her tummy.

Shuffling round a little she looks up at him and kisses along his jaw.

“I found it…. In the … back … of the closet.”

“Still looks good on you doll.”

“True, but I bet it would look better on the floor.”

At that he lifts her into the air and makes for the bedroom.

Stumbling over the hoodie the next morning as he goes to make some breakfast for his very pregnant wife, he agrees, the hoodie looks great on the floor.  Still, he picks it up and folds it carefully.  He has a feeling she’ll be wanting to wear it some more.

 

 


	7. The Checkout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Shopping
> 
> I'm sorry. Tissue warning.
> 
> There is now a second part to this, chapter 23 "Finding A Different Way"

 

 

 

Bucky hated crowds.  It’s why he’s grocery shopping at 3 in the morning in the 24 hour store five blocks from the Tower on a Tuesday night.

The place is quiet, only the cashier at the checkout slumped over the register, head phones over his ears as he bobs his head tiredly to whatever noise passes for music these days.

Although the range of produce to buy has multiplied exponentially since the 40’s he wishes things were simpler, trying to choose a breakfast cereal was a nightmare.  Rice, wheat, oats, chocolate, nuts, honey, sugar frosted?  Puffs, flakes, pillows….  Are they kidding him?  Who needs this much variety?  It’s just cereal. 

The bell gives a muted jingle and he looks up and spies an oddly familiar head enter the shop, a riot of wavy curls swept up in a clip.  He’s seen her before.  She works down in the astrophysics labs at the Tower.  Daria or Dacey or something.  He ignores her, the girl’s not a threat, and goes back to searching the cereal.

“Hey there soldier, I know you have a bad ass rep as an assassin, but the cereal didn’t do anything, what’s the problem?”  It’s the girl, she’s peering up at him with tired eyes through rectangular frames.  She has a basket slung over her arm and is filling it to overflowing with a multitude of boxes of pop tarts.

He grunts, hoping she’ll leave him alone, he’s got no interest in talking.

“You know, answering me will be less painless than the cereal-killer jokes I’ll be making tomorrow if I don’t get context for that murder glare.”

He glances back down at her, she’s moved closer and there is the faintest hint of a smile in her eyes.  What the hell is wrong with her, didn’t she read the briefings all the staff in the Tower were made to sign? 

“Tough crowd.”  She mutters with a roll of her eyes before reaching across him to grab a bag of muesli. 

“Have you got a death wish sweetheart?”                                                             

 This time it’s her that glares.

“Okay… One, don’t call me sweetheart and two, no, I’m just trying to be friendly.  Three, if you threaten me like that again I will tase you in the junk.”

He’s caught off guard at the abrupt indignation in her voice.  She’s all of five two and bristling at him with all the menace of a wet kitten.  He sighs internally, taking in the dressing down and reluctantly admitting he deserves it.  His mother would be rolling in her grave if she knew he talked to a lady like that.

“Sorry….  Still not used to being a person again yet.  I wasn’t threatenin’ you I just…  You know who I am right?”

“Well like duh, of course I know who you are.”

“You read the briefing packet on me.?”

“I may have skimmed it, sort of, the last page where I had to sign.”

“I’m dangerous.  You shouldn’t get too close or make any sudden moves around me.”

“What?  Like you’re some sort of dinosaur?  And no disrespect, but the only thing in imminent danger seems to be Captain Crunch.”  She looks pointedly at where he’s clutching the cardboard of the box hard enough to have burst through the packaging.  Eyes rolling skyward asking for some patience he puts it back on the shelf and shuffles a few undamaged boxes to the front.

“Chill my dude and tell Darcy what’s the problem.  I’m good at this whole introduction to modern America, I managed to house train Thor for Jane, he hardly ever smashes his cups anymore.”

The image of Thor being smacked on the nose with a new paper and brought to heel by the tiny firecracker beside him makes him chuckle.

“See, you like me already!”  she chirps brightly.

“You’re mad.”  He tells her.

“All the best people are!  Now spill, what has the fearsome Winter Soldier all riled up?”

“Just want some cereal, nothing fancy.  There’s just too much and it’s all…“  He trails off, not sure how to explain his need for something familiar in all the chaos or brightly packaged breakfast goods.

Darcy bends down and grabs a plain white package and hold it’s out to him.

“I figure you’re the sweet and simple type, nothing has changed about the humble cornflake in a century.”

“Thanks, Doll.”  He takes it with relief, something he recognised at least and together they make their way to the checkout. 

Being the gentleman he is he offers to carry the five bags she comes out of the store with and she happily agrees, hooking her hand in his elbow companionably as they make their way back.

It was an interesting beginning. 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“You got the list?”  She’d called him just as he stepped out of the door.

“Got it.”

“Did you remember to take Sam off the list?”  He winces and presses the button for the elevator.

“Sam wasn’t on the list.”

“That’s just mean…”  the lack of sincerity in her tone is comforting.  She and Sam got on about as well as he and Sam, that is to say not at all.  She had Sam running in circles most days trying to work out why shit kept happening to him.  Darcy had Jarvis in her pocket and could count on him for technical support.

“Told you not to get him anything, he’s menace.”

“I ordered him a Make Your Own Cheese kit.”  Bucky draws a blank, make your own cheese?

“What the hell is he gonna do with that?”

“Keep up Tin-man, he’ll make cheese.  Publicly.  In the common kitchen and everyone gets to watch him fail or triumph.  I will be judging the shit out of it.”

He grins at the thought of Darcy winding Sam up with comments while he tries to cook.

“S’not a bad idea.”  The evelvator finally reaches the lobby and he steps out just as she cannon balls into him.  He grins down at her and pockets his phone before kissing her nose.

“Ready to go?”

“Am I ever, we are going to kick Christmas shopping’s ass and be home in time for dinner.”

“Okay, remember the plan?”

“Look as innocent and helpless as possible where appropriate and when not, let you do the not talking till they let us past.”

“You run into trouble, no starting a fight, you’re not allowed to taser people in New York, not even for being assholes.”

“Stupid laws…“  She mutters as he wraps an arm around her waist, guiding her out onto the street, it’s interesting to note that his presence has the desired effect she was looking for, there was a bubble of space around them at least three feet wide.

“I hate the crowds but the best deals are to be had out there and you my glorious Winter Shopper are going to be the best bodyguard/bag carrier I’ve ever had.  Now on a more serious matter, what does Bucky Barnes want for Christmas?”

“All I want for Christmas is you, Doll.”

“You keep saying that I’m going think you mean it.”

“What if I do?”

“Don’t be surprised at me showing up wearing nothing but a bow.”

He nearly runs into a lamp post and she pulls him out of the way just in time.

It’s the way she says it, both cheeky and with a touch of vulnerability that shakes his world.  They’d been friends for a while now, he’d certainly not missed how pretty she was and if this had been before he’d have had her in his bed months ago.  They stop in the middle of the busy street and she tips her head up to look him right in the eye, waiting for him to say something.  His hands cup her elbows and she holds her breath. 

It’s like he’s at some fork in the road, two choices in front of him, the one he knows and the one less traveled.  He tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and leans down till his lips graze the tip of it.

“Don’t mind how you wrap yourself up doll, just make sure the bow’s red.”

The way her eyes widen and the blush creeps up her cheeks he’d caught her off guard.  Then it’s his turn as she grabs him by the collar and pulls him into a kiss.  It’s the kiss that changes his life, on a snowy sidewalk in Manhattan.

 

* * *

 

 

They’d been in the store for what felt like week and there didn’t seem to be an end in sight.  He’s sure in fact, that where they are, is Swedish Hell.  He groans as she tosses another throw and a set of cushions into the trolley he’s pushing.

“Hey, Bucky, what’s left on the list?”

He digs around under some dishes and a set of towels and pulls out the neon pink paper and hands it to her.

“Hmm… looks like we have almost everything, just one more and then we can go”

“Jesus Doll, don’t we have enough already?”

“We need a bed Bucky, we did not think this whole thing through with the new apartment.  Come on, it’ll be fun.  You can test em out till we find the right one!”

Growling under his breath he pinches her side, sending her jumping a mile, right into a security guard that gives her a look for about point five seconds before his glare falls to Bucky who sends his best murder grin.  It’s the guard that apologises to Darcy then and he retreats quickly as she cackles with glee.

It takes them another two hours to find a bed they both like and agree should hold up okay even with his strength and her need to occasionally jump on it.

It’s lying side by side in Ikea that it happens.  One small moment that they can never get back again, a first that came from nowhere.

She’s peering over a pillow at him as they lie on the bed they’ve chosen, he can’t remember now what it was she said that made him laugh, but he remembers her shit eating grin and the way he wiped it off her face with the sort of kiss they usually reserved for the bedroom, but that’s when he says it.

“love you Darcy-girl.”  Her smile lights up the world.

“l love you too babe.”

They’re like a couple of teenagers going through the checkout, whispering and holding hands and kissing.  The cashier gives them an indulgent look and slips a wedding registry booklet into the bag as she helps pack them up. 

That night they make love on top of his old mattress on the floor of their new apartment, still high on the declaration of new love.  

“How much do you love me Doll?”

“I love you all the muches and with much muchness.”  She tells him seriously as he kisses her slowly, hands trailing over her skin, mapping all the places he intends to kiss while she sighs into his mouth in happy languor.  Lying there in the dark later, he thinks about the wedding registry and pulls her closer.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The list pinned to the fridge also has a plastic bag attached.  At first he doesn’t think anything of it, he’s always happy to go to the store with her so when she texts him to bring the list from the fridge he’s on auto pilot as he grabs it, catching the clear bag in his metal hand as it drops when he tugs the list free.

The double take he then does at the item within makes him feel like the world just tipped sideways for a second.  He stares at the plastic wand in the bag, vaguely recognising it for what it is.  If the two pink lines don’t confirm it, the list she’d asked him to pick up does. 

Crib

Changing table

Cloth nappies

Bugaboo stroller

Car seat

Onesies

Sling

It takes him four minutes to get down to the lab where she’s waiting for him, near sick with worry at what his reaction might be.  They hadn’t talked about it, never even thought about it, they’d only been married for six months.

He bursts into the lab and has her in his arms not a second later planting the teariest kiss he’s ever given her on her.

“We’re having a baby.”

“Yeah, we are.”

“Your gonna be the best Ma a kid ever had sweetheart.”

“Shut up and don’t call me sweetheart…  I know you’re gonna be the best dad ever Bucky Barnes”

“We’re having a baby.”

“We’re having a baby.”

It’s the happiest day of his life.

 

* * *

 

 

“Mr Barnes…   Mr Barnes?”

“Sorry, what was that?”

“Ahh… well if you could choose from the cherry or the mahogany…”  The woman trailed off and tilted the catalogue towards him again.  He flicked a quick eye over the page and scrubbed a hand over his face.

Briefly the thought that Darcy would know what to choose drifted by in his brain.  What a fuckin joke. 

“Bucky?”  Steve’s voice was overly cautious and placating.  He really wanted to just punch him in the face.

“M’not make of glass pal.”  The tone was weary and bitter.

“Cherry.”  He tells her shortly and then manages to get through the rest of the choices without Steve making another noise.

Out in the street he lights a cigarette and inhales a deep draw. 

“I’ll walk back.”  He tells Steve as the town car draws up.  “Alone.”  He reinforces the order with a brief shove of his friend toward the car.

He walks there unconsciously, or maybe consciously, he really isn’t sure.   There’s nothing very different about the place.  The police tape and the glass had been cleared up and replaced.  The grocery store looks just as it always has. 

It was stupid.  The whole thing was stupid.  She’d only popped out to get milk.  He hadn’t even been there. He’d been upstate when it happened.  Training the new recruits for Hill.

When he’d reached the scene her body had already been moved to the morgue.  Some punk kid, high, looking for some easy cash had robbed the store.  She’d been at the checkout with the milk, minding her own damn business but some hero type had tried to stop the kid and the gun went off. 

He’d seen her body, the bullet had went straight through her heart.  From all accounts she’d been dead before she even hit the floor.  By the time the paramedics got there it had been too late to try resuscitating her or even to save the baby.  A daughter, they’d told him when they brought him in to view the body.  Tiny and perfect and beautiful, just like her Ma.

He stands there, looking through the window and remembers her handing him a box of cereal.  It ended where it began, in a store on the corner of East 42nd and Lexington.  His fingers fold around the list in his pocket and he draws it out to look at it again like had had a few dozen times since he took it down off the fridge.

~~Crib~~

Changing table

~~Cloth nappies~~

Bugaboo stroller

~~Car seat~~

~~Onesies~~

Sling

He holds the burning end of the cigarette to the corner and watches as the paper turns to ash, then he turns and walks away.  Away from the Tower and away from the life he’d been stupid enough to think he had.  He’s going home.

 

 


	8. The Wedding That Never Was

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: In Formal Wear
> 
> Recommended listening for this chapter is 'I'm Not Here' by Me + T

 

 

 

 

“Hey.  Are you ready?”

Pepper pops her head round the door and finds Darcy standing in front of the mirror.  The lace covered satin she wears is off set with golden embroidery of tiny Fleur de Lise.  She makes a beautiful bride.  Her thick dark hair has been swept up in an elaborate up-do, each strand perfectly placed.

“I don’t know….”

“Darcy?”  Stepping into the room, Pepper closes the door behind her. “Oh honey, come on, tell me what’s wrong?”

“Pepper, I think I’ve made a huge mistake….  I don’t know what to do?”  Darcy stares at her through the mirror, her skin too pale against the pink of her lips.  Huge blue eyes plead with her for help. 

“Darcy, come on, sit down.  They say everyone gets cold feet right before they get married.”

“I know, but that’s not what this is.”  She shakes her head and then sits carefully on the chair, trying not to ruin her dress.  The struggle to get the words out is very real, Pepper waits patiently, she’s never seen Darcy so distracted and worried… not for a long time at least, not since…  the less thought about that the better.

“I saw him again…”

Pepper didn’t need anything else to know who Darcy meant. 

James Buchannan Barnes had made an impact on them all in some way.  However it had been Darcy who had been affected the most.  It had been the most fascinating thing to watch the two fall in love.  Pulled together like magnets, orbiting around one another like the earth and the sun.  It had been fast and passionate and the two were soon joined at the hip.  Where one was the other was sure to follow.  They had been like a tempest, their love for each other clear to any who even glanced at them.  Then like any good tempest, they’d blown out. 

Pepper still doesn’t know what happened to end things between them, not really.  She has theories and nothing more.  One day they had been happily snuggling on the couch and the next he’d packed his bags and left. 

Darcy had been a wreck, for nearly a year the girl had been grieving, utterly heart broken by his departure, but she wouldn’t talk about, not a word passed her lips about why. 

She had slowly picked herself back up and moved on.  Now two years later she was happy, in love with a good stable man.  It might not be the epic romance of the ages, it would never burn with as much passion and fire as her relationship with Barnes, but is was gentle and kind, a still pond compared to the raging ocean storm.  Ian was good for her, a little easily walked over, but he didn’t seem to mind.  Where Barnes was complicated Ian was simple, where Barnes had been physically imposing Ian was anything but.  They were as different as different could be and that helped Darcy more than anything else had. 

“Did he contact you?” 

Darcy shook her head and wiped a finger under her lashes, catching the tear before it could ruin her makeup.

“No…  I was out yesterday, I went down to the park for a walk, feed the ducks, I just needed some time to think and then as I was coming back…  I swear I’m not going crazy Pepper, but he was there, watching me.  He was by the gates, I was close enough I could see the blue in his eyes.  A crowd came through and when I tried to find him again he was gone.”

“Darcy…  if it was him, if he wanted to talk, don’t you think he would have approached you…  I mean, well…  Does it really change anything?  Does it change all the things you’ve planned, just one look at him can’t have disrupted everything you’ve worked so hard to achieve.”

When the younger woman looks up at her Pepper’s words turn to ash in her mouth.

“Oh…”

Darcy gives her a refuel smile.

“Yeah, oh is right.  I don’t think I can walk down that aisle Pep.  Not with Ian.  I’m no good for him, I’ll only make him miserable if I do.  I know he’s in love with me but…  I’m never going to be _in_ love with him.  There’s only one man that I ever felt that way for, it’s time I recognised that and face up to this.  It wouldn’t be fair to Ian, he’ll spend the rest of his life trying to make me happy and he’ll always fall just a little short.  I’ll ruin him if I marry him.  It took seeing James yesterday to understand that.  I’m never going to be over James Barnes, he’s in my blood, he owns me, body and soul, he’s a mark I’m never getting out.  A mark I don’t want to wash away no matter how much it hurts.”

“Darcy…  What happened between you?  Why did he leave?”

She stands suddenly at the question and crosses the room, her back to Pepper.  There are lines of tension across her shoulders and the way her head dips before she speaks again tells just how heavy a weight she was carrying.

“I asked him if we could have a baby…  That talk did not go how I thought it would.”  She says with a bitter laugh.

“He didn’t want children?”

“No… that…  he asked me if that’s what I wanted, children, with him.  God help me Pepper I was honest, it’s all I had been thinking about for months.  I was 34 of course it was weighing on my mind.  Jane, you, even Maria Hill, you all had had babies within a year of each other.  He just looked all wistful like as he listened to me.  I didn’t have any reason to think he was…  anyway, everything seemed fine we went to bed and made love….  When I woke up in the morning there was just a note.  He said he didn’t want me to be held back, that he could see how much I wanted a baby, that he wanted that for me, but not with him.  Hydra sterilised him way back, he thinks they were trying to make it easier to control him.  Idiots, that man’s an ornery as a bull.  He said he’d be a danger to a baby, that he wasn’t safe and that I should find someone else who could give me the family I deserved.”

Pepper goes to her and wraps her in her arms and lets her cry. 

“Why didn’t he just tell me?  I would have told him it didn’t matter, that I wouldn’t want that with anyone other than him…  I felt like I was dying…  he cut off his phone and no one seemed to know how to get in touch with him…  Fucking Steve wouldn’t even tell me anything and I know that he must have known where James went or he’d have been right on his tail looking for him and not sitting in the Tower without a fuckin care in the world.”

Pepper sits her down again and grabs the tissues for her. 

“Pepper, could you…”

“Just sit tight, I’ll go take care of it.  I’ll get everyone cleared out.  Do you want me to talk to Ian, send him up here?”

“I can’t face him right now, I guess I’m a coward.  Tell him I’ll call him tomorrow.”  She picked up her bag and withdrew an envelope, she pulled the ring off her finger and slipped it inside as she passed it to Pepper.

“Could you give him that?  I guess I made my choice last night after all.  I came home and wrote it after I saw James.”

Pepper’s heart breaks for her friend all over again as she leaves the room, letter clutched tightly in her hand.  James Barnes was an idiot.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Steve tugged on his tie irritably as he stood outside the small church.  He hated formal wear, it made him feel like he was wearing a monkey suit all over again.  He’d come out for some air when it looked like the bride was going to be a little late.  He’s had a feeling all week that something is off, it’s part of why he’s out here right now.

He was happy that Darcy had moved on, that she was getting married.  She deserved to be happy.  Ian was a bit of milksop, not much back bone, he was happy to jump to Darcy’s tune, but if he made her happy, that was all that mattered.  When Bucky had left two years ago, truthfully Steve had been a little relieved.  Bucky and Darcy were like oil and fire, both of them too stubborn and loud and wilful, they were two of a kind, both unable to back down when they thought they were right, they had been explosive together.  When Bucky finally told him why he’d left Steve had wanted to shake him.  Darcy would never have put up with that if he’d given her the chance to make the choice herself.  But he’d kept his word to Bucky and told Darcy nothing. 

From the corner of his eye he caught movement in the tree line across the street.  Suspicion curling up his spine he made his way over, the blue eyes that met his as a man emerged from the shadows proved him right.

“What are doing here Buck?”

His friend looked past him to the steps of the church where the flower girls were playing together.  The tiny girls all wearing matching dresses.  Morgan Stark, Freya Thorsdottir and Robin Hill were deemed old enough for the responsibility.  At age three and half they were all big enough to have their role in the wedding.

“I wanted to see… I wanted to know that she was happy.”

“I told you Buck, she’s moved on, she’s happy with Ian, you don’t have to worry about her anymore.”

“I’m not so sure of that.”

“Bucky…”

“I got back two weeks ago, I’ve been watching her.  She’s not herself.  She’s….  there’s no spark, do you know I haven’t seen her smile reach her eyes once?”

“She’s about to get married Bucky, don’t do this to her.”

“I love her Stevie.”

“She loves Ian now.”

“No she doesn’t.”

Steve sighed and shrugged helplessly. 

“No, she doesn’t…  So, what’s the plan?”

“They still ask if anyone objects at these things?”

“Seriously?”

“Need a grand gesture.”

“You need a suit.” Steve counters holding up his car keys.  “In the trunk.”

Bucky grins and shakes his head. 

“How’d you know, Punk?”

“I just did, Jerk.”

 

* * *

 

 

Bucky adjusts his cuff-links then opens the duffel still in the trunk.  He’s wearing the same suit he wore to Stark's wedding four years ago.  The dark blue silk shimmers in the sun.  From the depth of the bag he pulls out a small box.  It’s something he should have done years ago, something he had been about to do before Darcy had started talking about babies.  He sighs and opens the box, the ring is just a perfect as he remembers.  He tucks into his pocket.  Better to have it and not need it than to need and not have it.  He’s still not sure what she’s gonna say, but he knows he gotta try.

Across the street people begin to file out of the church.

“Stevie, what the hell’s going on over there?”

Steve glances up from his phone and hold it up for Bucky to read.  *Wedding off.  Don’t ask questions.  Give Darcy her space.*

“Pepper sent it, I guess Darcy changed her mind.”

“Do you think that makes it more of less likely for her to give me another chance?”

“You really going to go in there right now?”

Bucky stares at the quaint stone building.  Inside is the love of his life.  She’s gonna be upset, guilty and sad at what she’s done and she’s gonna be pissed at him if he walks through those doors, but he’s got to try.  He’ll take her raging and furious at him over the apathy and resigned complacence he’s watched her live with the last two weeks. 

 

* * *

 

 

Darcy pulls the pins out of her hair, the strands were pulled tight, tugging on her scalp.  This really wasn’t her style.  As the pins drop to the vanity she wonders what she’d been thinking at all, agreeing to go through with it.  This wasn’t who she was, some elegant socialite, cover ready for a magazine.  But she’d tried for him, tried to be someone new, someone that didn’t love James Barnes. 

It turns out that was impossible.  She’ll always be that Darcy, the one that drinks a little too much, laughs too loudly and tells the dirtiest jokes.  Bucky’s girl, with her red lips, sex hair and a permanent blush.  Even when he’s gone, that’s who she is in her mind.  Picking up the tissue she wipes off the pale pink lipstick and pulls the cherry red from her purse.  She paints the line of who she truly is back on.  Then she looks in the mirror and smiles for the first time in months.  Darcy Lewis grins back at her, bee stung lips a bright blood red, her hair a tousled mess around her shoulders and she feels like she’s stepped back into her own skin again. 

In the mirror, behind her, the door opens and a man steps inside the room.

Darcy can’t breathe, can’t think, wondering if she’s imagining it after the stress of the day.

“Hey, Doll.”  But no, it’s his voice carrying across the room, that thick Brooklyn drawl heating her blood and making her mouth dry.

She doesn’t move and continues to watch him in the glass, afraid if she turns away, he’ll vanish again like he did that day in the park.

Their eyes meet and hold, she lets a shuddering breath out slowly as her heart pounds in her chest.  She swallows as they silently continue to gaze into the other’s eyes.  He was here, he was really here.  He’s right behind her now, she can feel the heat of is body radiating into the bare skin on her back.  When his hand comes down on her shoulder and brushes back her hair, she closes her eyes and breathes.  She is not going to cry, nope, this is not the time to cry.  Briefly she wonders if she should shout instead, scream until she’s horse and broken at what he did.  But with his hand touching her, the callouses of his fingers rubbing gently into her skin all she feels is relief.  Like the pain she had held in for two years was suddenly numbed. 

“What are you doing here Bucky?”  He sits on the bench beside her, his thigh pressing into hers, even through layers of lace and silk and satin she can feel the play of his muscles flexing as he twists to take her hands in his. 

“I came to stop you.  To ask you for another chance.  To apologise for being an idiot, for hurting you the way I did.”

She gives him an incredulous look.

“You were going to stand up in the middle of my wedding with some sort of speech about how I couldn’t marry Ian?”

“When you put it like that is sounds stupid.”

She’s about a half a step from hysterics.  Biting her lip, she stifles the peel of sobbing laughter threatening to get out.

“Jesus, James, did you think it would work?”

“Seemed like a good idea at the time…  Would it have?”

Darcy pauses for a moment, yeah, it would have worked, or course it would.  And he knew that, he knew her inside and out, grand romantic gestures aside he'd always known what pushed her buttons. 

“Depends, what were you going to say?”

“You really need me to say it?”

“Yeah, I really do.”  She bites out a shade bitterly because fuck him, why should she make this easy?

He stands and runs a hand through his hair, it’s shaking, barley, but she sees it and she softens just a little.  He looks at her, completely open and exposed, she can read his sincerity in every line of his body, in his eyes that plead with her to listen.  Nothing could have prepared her for what came next, for the desperate honesty and heartbreaking sorrow in his every word.

“I’m an idiot.  I ran when I should have stayed.  I stayed silent when I should have spoke up.  I’m sorry, from the bottom on heart, I’m sorry, I never should have left.  I love you, I never stopped and I never will.  Don’t marry him, marry me.  He doesn’t know you like I do, can’t see the spark and the fire and understand  it.  Don’t marry him, marry me, because you don’t love him, you still love me.  I don’t deserve it, but I want another chance, I’ll do better this time, I’ll talk even when it hurts, I’ll stay even when I want to hide, I’ll be there, from now until you tell me to go, but don’t marry him.”

When he goes down on one knee before her and brings out a ring she thinks she might just faint.

“Marry me, Darcy.  I promise, I will _never_ , leave you, _again_. I’m gonna love you for the rest of our life doll, if you’ll let me.”

“You left me.”  Her voice is small in the wake of his naked emotion.

“And I’ll never forgive myself for it.  But I’m here now, I’m staying, even if you won’t have me back, I’m not leaving.”

Darcy feels even the token resistance leaving her, James Barnes could charm the birds out of the trees.

“If I wake up to a note and an empty bed ever again I swear I will track you down and kill you myself.”

“And I’ll let you.  Just, I’m begging you sweetheart, give me a chance to fix this.”

“A chance with a ring?  That’s a pretty big ask James.”

“You took a chance on me once, hoped you might again.  Marry me.  I ain’t too proud to beg, I’ll do whatever you want me to…  Just, marry me.”

“I hate you.”  He grins.

“I love you too, Doll.”

“Well?  What are you waiting for, put the damn thing on me.”

He slides the ring on, it fits perfectly on her ring finger, the bright garnet like blood in the light from the window.  It was his mothers ring, three slim gold bands, two with small diamonds bracketing a third with three garnet stones.  She smiles as she admires it, it’s everything she would have chosen herself.  It’s warmth and sparkle and speaks of the past.  The ring Ian had given her had been cold and hard, with a modern sleekness that could never match the charm of the vintage ring James had just placed on her finger

James kisses her fingers one by one, lingering by the ring before tugging her closer and meeting her lips in a soft slow kiss.  His lips are firm against hers, drawing her into him, she twines her hands into his hair and grins as she feels his hands lift her up and onto his lap as he sits on the bench.  God she’s missed it, the way he would move her like she weighed less than air.  His arms come around her, one hand sliding into her hair causing her to let out the tiniest of whimpers. It’s safety and home, the brilliance of summer and the comfort of a winter fireplace.  She would always want him, always need him, just like he did her.  He licked into her mouth, stroking his tongue against hers until she couldn’t think or feel anything but the man whose arms she was in. 

This was the kiss she’d wanted today, this was the perfect conclusion to the day she didn’t get married.  He was home and so was she.

 

 


	9. Vacation (part 2 of It's Not A Cuddle)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Hanging out with friends.

 

 

 

 

She stared Steve down as he locked his jaw and gave her that judgmental holier than thou frowny face.  God, the guy was such a disapproving stick in the mud sometimes.  She bet he shit in red white and blue too, the sanctimonious party pooper.   They didn’t come any more Apple Pie than good old Captain America.  But Darcy had had enough, this was her home too, technically it was her home first.  Not that Rogers had figured that out yet.  She knew the others had and she also knew the pool down in security was pushing ten thousand at this point on when he would find out. 

“Bucky’s got a long road of recovery ahead, he needs quiet, not your usual brand of disturbance Darcy.  I know you’re a good person, that you’ll respect my position in this.  Just keep your distance for a while, I think your behaviour is confusing him.”

Darcy mentally counted to ten, then ten again and just for good measure started reciting the periodic table too.  She would not lose her temper in a pointless argument with Captain Righteous.  Except the other part of her brain, the Stark part was screaming in the back of her head to taser him in the balls.

“Look Steve.  I know you mean well, but Bucky’s a big boy, he can use his words just fine.  If he doesn’t want me around, he can tell me himself, but I am not abandoning him just because you’re jealous.”

Steve glared down at her while she sneered back.

“I have no interest in you Miss Lewis.”

“I never said you did.  I’m not blind and this isn’t 1940 anymore.  You’re losing your cool because your BAE has been flirting with me nonstop since I gave him a ‘Welcome Back, Glad You’re Not Brainwashed’, cupcake back in June.”

“I am not jealous Miss Lewis, Bucky is like a brother to me.”

“Sure you aren’t, and the Lannister’s were just siblings too, doesn’t mean they didn’t bang like rabbits.” 

Her sarcasm was so thick she could probably cut it with a knife.

Steve went a brilliant shade of puce and stalked away. 

Darcy watched him go and wrinkled her nose.  This was getting ridiculous; the guy had a massive bug up his butt about Bucky spending so much time with her.  What he needed was to pull the stick out of his ass and have some fun.  When she really thought about, all of them could use a little down time.  When was the last time any of them had had a vacation?  Probably not since before the Mandarin had blown up the house in Malibu.  Darcy hums to herself as she makes her way down to Tony’s workshop.

“Hey Pop, Peter.  What you doing?”

Tony was elbow deep in a piece of machinery and Peter was hanging upside down from the ceiling peering at whatever their dad was pointing out to him with an expression of awe.

“Just some adjustments for the engine we’re putting together”

“Cool, you building a car as some sort of father son bonding exercise?”

Tony and Peter shared an identical look of mischief and Darcy felt the hair on the back of her head rise in warning.  That was never good, the last time they had worked on something there had been doppelgangers popping in and out through portals to alternate universes, the clean up on that mess had been a bitch.  As always it had landed in her lap to deal with the fall out.  On the other hand, it had been really sweet getting to meet her counterpart in another world. In that one she was happily married to one James Buchannan Barnes with a baby on the way.  She really hoped it worked out for them, they seemed really happy together. 

That world had been running a little ahead time wise though, so she figured her own delectable Mr Barnes and she had plenty of time to get their romance on the way to happily ever after, or at least she had till Captain Cockblock started lurking around every time she managed to get some alone time with him.

There was a clunk and spark from the table the boys were messing with which brought her attention back to the possible trouble the two were no doubt brewing.

“Do I have to call Mom and tell her you guys are “Up To Something” again?”

Twin looks of terror washed across their faces and the curl of satisfaction in Darcy’s gut turned her grin wicked.

“Darcy, light of my life, child of my heart, what can dear old dad do to keep you from ratting me out to Pepper?”

The look of delighted triumph that sprang up told Tony he was going to regret offering almost cart blanch for whatever scheme his daughter had concocted this time.

“Can the new house in Malibu be ready for guests this time next week?”

“Why?”

“I think the Avengers and their various support staff and significant others could really do with a vacation, some family time to recharge after the craptastic year and half we’ve had.  I’ll even arrange some cover for a week with Xavier. What do you say, family Va-kay?”

Tony let go a long suffering sigh and gave her ‘The Look’ TM.

“I’m not gonna get out of this am I?”

“Nope.”

“Fine, but if Barton breaks anything it’s coming out of your allowance.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Bucky, are we cuddling again?”

For a long minute he just continues to hold her close, tucked into his arms protectively.  She squirms a little till he slackens his hold enough for her to look up and check his eyes.  Well that’s good, no Winter Soldier today, but something must have triggered him, he’d been doing much better in the month since she’d dropped Sam in that vat of goo.

“Umm, sorry Darcy.”  He shrugs a little and goes to step back but the squishy part of her heart has just been bent out of shape again and she wraps her arms around his waist and buries her nose in his chest.

“No sorry’s allowed Bucky-Bear.  We can hug now it’s fine, I like cuddles, remember?” Her playful tone has him slipping his arms around her again and she melts into his embrace. 

They stand that way for a few minutes, leaning into each other.  It’s the strangest way a guy has ever come onto her in her life, but she’s learning to appreciate these odd moments when Bucky just seems to need an anchor. 

For whatever reason, almost as soon as he’s been brought to the Tower, it was Darcy who had been his focus when the world around him got to be too much.  Natasha thought it was because Darcy was the least threatening looking person there, Clint was adamant that Darcy just looked like the softest most cuddly woman imaginable and that Barnes was probably a boob man.  Tony had got a pinched look on his face and told her that she probably reminded Barnes of the pin ups the guys back in the day would have postcards of, that the familiarity was a comfort.  To be honest she could see the merit in all the answers, it was probably a combination of the three.  Also, bonus for her because he was an absolute snack.  Who wouldn’t want to be wrapped up in the embrace of a six-foot super soldier with muscles like that?  Just being around him gave her the shivers, the good kind, and his eyes were a thing of beauty.  Anytime he had her caged in his arms she felt safe and warm and was tempted to start purring like a kitten.

The only thing stopping her from moving things forward was Captain “I can do this all day” Rogers.  Every time it seemed like Bucky was going to go in for a real, honest to goodness kiss the Captain would show up and she’d be back at square one.

Well, she was going to fix that.  She had plans to make, lots of villain level plans that were going to get her laid, damn it.  All she needed was the house in Malibu, Sharon Carter and a little favour from Fury. 

“What are you plotting, Doll?  I can almost hear the wheels turning in you brain.”

“How would you feel about a little sun, some time by the pool and me in a bikini?”

“Sounds like a plan.  How are you gonna pull it off?”

“I have my ways.”

 

* * *

 

 

 

A week later Darcy settled into the hot tub and was quickly pulled onto Bucky’s knee.  One arm held her securely over her waist and the other handed her a drink.  She snuggled back and bit her lip as he nuzzled into her neck and placed tiny kisses at the juncture of her shoulder, sweet mother of Thor she could get used to this.  Everything had went off without a hitch.  Currently Fury had sent Steve and Sharon undercover for a month, a conveniently timed operation in Russia.  Without the good Captain to muck up her plans the rest of the Avengers had all headed to Malibu and the new house to take some vacation days. 

Everyone looked happy and relaxed.  Clint and Laura and the kids were by the pool, the kids getting a swimming lesson from Sam.  Laura was snuggled into Clint’s side on the double lounger as the archer read a book.

Peter, MJ and Ned were playing volley ball on the beach a little way down with Tony, Pepper and Happy.

Natasha was lying on a lounger, Bruce happily rubbing lotion into her back, they’d been doing that for a while now and no one was about to mention it or even raise an eyebrow.

Across the hot tub from them, Thor and Jane were enjoying a little cuddle time of their own. 

Sipping on her Mojito as Bucky’s fingers skimmed the edge of her bikini bottoms Darcy felt like everything had fallen into place nicely.  This was exactly what they had needed.  Just a nice relaxing time away from New York, the whole gang getting the chance to hang out together without the usual pressures and stresses of every day Avenging business. 

Without Steve to cock block her at every turn Bucky had been in her bed every night since they arrived.  With both of them able to relax they had fallen into a nice routine of going to bed early and getting up late.  This morning had been especially good, waking up in his arms and exchanging sleepy kisses he had told her he loved her and then he’d shown her just how much with as much enthusiasm as he could. 

“We should do this every year Darcy.”  Bucky told her she traced her fingers over the plates in his arm.

“What, get Steve sent off for a month?”  she throws him a cheeky grin, the responding smile and chuckle and the sweet kiss he plants on her cheek brings a swell of happiness in her heart.

“No, just this, spend time together as a family, just hanging out, having fun.  Think everyone needed it, even you Doll.  You haven’t pranked anyone once since we got here.”

“Well I did promise Tony not to break anything.”

“And I know you’re more than capable of coming up with ways to inconvenience people without property damage.”

“Tony would disagree, he had to rip out the whole air filtration system at the tower three months ago on account of the number of glitter bombs that I’ve set off.”

“You never did tell me where you had Fury send Steve?”

The feral smile that graces her lips makes his cock twitch.

“Well…..  you remember that Sharon’s been working with Interpol on infiltrating a Russian human trafficking ring?  I had Fury send her Steve to help out.  Right now, he’ll be sitting in a brothel in St Petersburg which is being used as a front for illegal money laundering and weapons distribution.  Sharon said she’d send him in as a customer, you know, get him a regular girl and turn an asset for them.”

Bucky choked on his drink then threw his head back and laughed.  She giggled right along with him, the thought of Steve stuck in that situation gave her a ridiculous level of satisfaction.

“Doll, I love you, don’t ever change.”

“I love you too soldier.”

He kissed her then, right in front of everyone.  The wolf whistle from Clint had her flipping him off while she closed her eyes and sank into Bucky’s warmth.

Best.  Vacation.  Ever.


	10. Frustration (Part 3 of It's Not A Cuddle)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Making Out
> 
> This is a continuation/connected to "It's Not a Hug" (chptr2) and "Vacation" (chptr9)

 

 

 

Three times Bucky and Darcy nearly Made Out and the One Time They Finally Did.

 

After she arranged for Sam to be dropped in the vat of slime Bucky finally gave in to his need to admit that he liked Darcy Lewis.  Who was he kidding, he was already in love with her. 

He’d tried denying it for months, but the truth was that as soon as he saw her standing there in the kitchen the day after he arrived in the Tower with flour on her face and her hair piled up on her head with an apron tied under her bust he’d been gone on her like some hormone driven teenage boy noticing a girl for the first time.  When she’d smiled at him with her bee stung lips and great big china blue eyes and offered him a cup cake, he’d pretty much just lost the ability to speak, instead he’d stepped forward and picked her up and ran.  Steve had found them three hours later, Bucky curled up with his head in her lap, arms wrapped round her middle while she ran her fingers through his hair.  After that he’d followed her around from sun up to sun down whenever he could escape from Steve and his mother henning tendencies.  The more time he spent with Darcy, the more he got to know her, the deeper he fell.

Darcy was kind and funny.  She always knew everything that went on in the Tower at any time.  She was always the first to dive in and help in any situation.  She sassed anyone that tried to give her shit and the way she and Stark smack talked each other had even Steve cracking a smile.  The Soldier in the back of his brain made heart eyes every time they thought about her.  Bucky’s pretty sure the Soldier imprinted on her like a baby duckling, for the Soldier she’s a combination of handler and divine being, for Bucky she’s the embodiment of all the dreams he’s had before the war.

She was a force of nature and for near everyone that lived there she was the heart and soul of the team. 

 

* * *

 

 

The first time he found himself holding the sweet dame in his arms was at 3am on a Friday morning.  He woke to find himself standing in the gym, his whole body wrapped around Darcy like a vice.  He could tell from the tightness of his arms that they’d been standing there like that for a while.  When he let go of her, horror on his face, she had just smiled up at him, kissed his cheek and told him she didn’t mind playing teddy bear any time he needed before walking outta the gym and heading back to her room.  The memories he’s managed to prod the Soldier into sharing were of him wandering the corridors after a nightmare and bumping into Darcy outside the gym.  She’s taken his hand led him inside and asked what he needed.  The Soldier had taken over and gathered her into his arms and cried.  Initially Bucky had felt embarrassed, but Darcy’s only response to this had been to coo and pet him and tell him he was safe, that everything was okay now and she’d take care of him. 

After that, anytime he felt like he was about to slip and he was near enough to Darcy he just hugged her close and told her it wasn’t a cuddle.  She just held him back and agreed without any fuss or making him feel stupid. 

Sam said Darcy grounded him, kept him in the real world because he saw her as something more real and alive than anything else.  She was the opposite of all the terrible things he had done and been put through.  Then he preceded to tease the crap out of him for it.  That had been the wrong move on Sam’s part, cause Darcy heard about it and quickly planned her revenge.  She didn’t like people pickin’ in him for any reason.  It made him feel sorta warm and fuzzy on the inside that she would go to the trouble of making Sam suffer just for teasing him.

This was reason two that he loved Darcy Lewis, if she took someone under her protection, she would go to the ends of the earth for them.  Move mountains, create miracles, all to keep those she loved safe.  Fiercely protective and loyal as she was, he couldn’t fathom why Steve didn’t seem to like her very much.  Then the Soldier reminded him that Steve was lonely and sad and if the stuff the therapists rambled on about meant anything then they could figure the poor guy was experiencing attachment and abandonment issues.  This made Bucky feel a little guilty and he tried harder to give Steve some slack.  The guy had saved him after all, had come after him at great cost to himself to help Bucky, he owed him.  Even if he didn’t remember everything from before Hydra had him, he knew Steve had been a good friend, why else would he lay so much on the line to save his ass?  Besides, Darcy didn’t seem to pay too much attention to Steve’s odd behaviour and was incredibly patient with him all things considered.  She even kept her revenge pranking to a minimum on Steve, only mildly inconveniencing him if he pissed her off.

This led to the third reason he loved her, she was one sneaky, conniving, smart ass with the most twisted sense of humour and justice he had ever encountered.  If she wanted to get even with someone, they’d never see it coming, but when it did it hit full force and was guaranteed to cause maximum embarrassment for the victim to the same level and greater than the transgression she felt they had made.  No one messed with her and survived the experience with their dignity intact.

 

* * *

 

 

The first time he tried to kiss her had been after she made him cherry pie and they had watched Sam’s decent onto the bowels of the building and straight into a tank of bright red slime.  They’d been sitting cuddled up on the couch talking, Darcy still in his lap, her tiny hands tracing patterns over his jumper while they flirted lightly with each other. 

There had been a moment right there where he’d seen the perfect opening, her staring up into his eyes, the emotion had changed from playful to serious, the air around them electric.  He’d been about three inches from bringing his lips to hers when Steve had walked in and ruined the moment.  After Darcy had reluctantly swept off to feed Jane, Steve had tried in his own strangely mangled way to tell Bucky why he couldn’t get involved with Darcy.  Bucky had stomped off to his room to change then spent the next seven hours murdering punching bags in the gym, the Soldier muttering death threats at Steve in six languages before reaching through and sending their fist straight through the punching bad.

The second time he manged to get her alone they were on the balcony while Tony and Pepper hosted a party in the penthouse.  She’d been dolled up in a classy little number with a sweetheart neckline, her hair half up on one side and the rest curling over the opposite shoulder.  Her dress had been red, and her lipstick had matched.  He’d spent the whole night staring at her mouth and thinking about what she’d taste like if he managed to kiss her.  The Soldier had had slightly different thoughts, that Bucky thinks as a gentleman, he shouldn’t have agreed with. 

He’d followed her out to the balcony just as the band struck up a slow number and he’d asked her to dance.  Dancing with her was a different sort of holding than the way he held her for comfort.  It was a language of its own creation between two partners.  The dip of her waist, the sway of her body, curved and pressed into him, her hand held firmly in his, it seemed to say we’re good together.  They way they’d slowly moved closer, pressed hip to shoulder, the tiny noises Darcy had made as her body brushed against his in certain places told him just how good other things would feel.  The song drawing to a close as they stopped swaying, the tension from before returning between them and ratcheting up a notch, Jesus Christ,  he’d been a half a second from taking those sweet cherry lips with his when Steve bounced onto the balcony looking for him and insisting he come meet some painter Tony had invited.  He and Darcy had shared a knowing look, the grip between their fingers tightening in the solidarity of frustration.

Last week he’d pulled her into a supply closet with every intention kissing the living daylights outta her when the Tower alarms had went off causing momentary chaos.  Steve said he’d accidentally set it off when he was doing a security check.  Bucky didn’t believe a word of it.  The man was trying to ruin his love life before he even managed to kiss the dame.

Yesterday he’d found Darcy asleep in the kitchen, bags under her eyes, a pile of paper work at her side, completed.  Looking through it all he realised the majority of the forms she’d had to fill in all centred around requisitions Steve had made, missions Steve had been on and other Steve related material.  He’d about snapped at that.  Steve was driving her into the ground with paper work so Darcy would have less time to spend with him. 

He’d gathered her up in his arms and taken her to her room.  He’d tucked a very sleepy Darcy into bed after stripping her down to slip.  She had thanked him prettily and told him she would kiss him properly eventually, then bestowed a soft press to his cheek. 

 

* * *

 

 

If something wasn’t done about Steve soon he was going to murder him in his sleep.  The Winter Soldier in the back of his brain proposed a number of different ways to dispatch him that would be more entertaining than the merciful death Bucky had imagined. 

That morning he’d been on his way to the labs to visit Darcy when he’d overheard her and Steve.  Now, not only was the guy trying to sabotage his love life he was actively trying to warn his best girl away from him. 

He’d snagged Steve and pulled him into a closet and proceeded to have the biggest blow out with him he could ever remember.  They’d shouted and argued and hurled a lot of hurtful things at each other.  By the time they were done Bucky had felt wrung out and exhausted. All he wanted was to see Darcy and get a hug.  Almost on auto pilot he’d let the Soldier slip forward a bit and they’d found their Doll entering the common room, a mischievous smile playing across her lips.  Bucky had stepped forward and pulled her into a tight hug, the kind he hadn’t felt the need to get from her in a month.  When she hugged him back and promised him sunshine, a pool and her in a bikini his brain had nearly shorted out and he wondered how she’d pull it off.

 

* * *

 

 

Two day’s later they were on Stark’s private jet heading for Malibu, sans Steve, who had been called in by Fury for an urgent mission.

Bucky is almost afraid to make a move, convinced that even here, several thousand feet in the air Steve would still manage to interrupt them, somehow.

Darcy just smiles and holds his hand in the seat next to him and asks if he’d like to share a room.  He’s embarrassed to admit it took him a good ten seconds before it dawned on him what she was proposing.

“What sorta guy do you take me for, Doll?”  he’d teased her with a lazy grin.

“Am I stepping on your old timey sensibilities Soldier?”

“Nah, just think we should probably have kissed before sharing a bed.”

“Well, there’s nothing stopping you now.”

He decides she’s right, she usually is, he pushes up the arm rest between them and pulls her into his lap.  They’re sitting right at the back, tucked away in a quiet corner, no one is paying any attention.

“You wanna make out with me Darcy?”

“You bet your ass I do.  I’ve felt like teenager sneaking around trying not to get caught by her folks for the last month.  So yes, I do wanna make out with you.”

For the next three hours they’re left blissfully alone, and Bucky doesn’t let her out of his lap until he absolutely has to. 

They kiss and touch and explore, to the point that it is a miracle they don’t join the mile-high club, but Bucky’s conscious of the others at the front of the plane.  He won’t even slip his hands under her clothes, much to her chagrin, but there’s a nostalgia in taking the time to work each other up with some heavy petting and intoxicating kisses. 

He catalogues every sound and breathy moan she makes, the way the flush spreads over her collar bones and up her neck, the tiny little pants when he runs his hand over the shape of her breast, letting his thumb catch the nub of her nipple through her dress.  He doesn’t remember if he’s done this before with someone, not exactly, but he knows what to do and what to say.  It’s like riding a bike.  The dirty things he whispers to her while tracing his tongue round the shell of her ear make her whimper, but she’s swell gal and gives just as good as she gets.  She whispers back even filthier things that she wants to do to him once they’re alone, he’s so hard at this point that he considers pushing her panties to one side under the flowy skirt she’s wearing and lowering his zipper right there, because fucking hell she plays dirty.

By the time they get off the plane Bucky has a hard time standing up and has to drape his jacket over one arm to hide the evidence of three hours with Darcy Lewis in his lap.  He’s not sure if it’s the frustration of the last month sneaking around or just the three hour make out session, but he’s never been so turned on in his life. 

Stepping off the plane and wrapping his arm around his girl is a heady feeling, he only feels a tiny twinge of guilt that Steve won’t get to enjoy a vacation with them.

When they finally reach the house, Darcy drags him off to their room and locks the door.  The saucy wink and the smile she gives him as she seductively disrobes has him scrambling to help.  Bucky’s pretty sure this is going to be the best vacation ever.

 

 


	11. Ice Cream Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: eating ice cream

 

 

 

The sharp beeping from the monitor was a steady reminder that she was still alive.  Bucky stood by the door looking in, a storm of emotions raging through him.  She looked so small in the hospital bed, the sheets tucked round her body.  She was paler than he’d ever seen her, dark circles under her eyes, the bloom of mottled green and purple bruises crawling up the side of her jaw made his hands clench in anger.  At her temples, contact burns from the machine were beginning to heal, to fade away. 

Natasha approached him quietly.

“How is she?”

“Alive.”  He answers shortly.

Darcy had been taken a week ago.  It had been an oversight, a miscommunication that had left her vulnerable and without her usual security escort.  Instead of the usual four-man team made up of ex level five and six Shield agents, she’d been given a light detail made up of two ex-cops, who, while good at their jobs, were no match for the Hydra strike team that had taken her and killed both of them.

“She’ll pull through this, she’s strong.  It wasn’t your fault, this isn’t on you.”  The cool hand on his arm was meant to be a comfort but it felt like a play, like she was trying to handle him.  He shrugged her off.

“They took her because of me Natalia, it is on me, and we all know it.  What they did to her…  Fuck Natalia…”  he couldn’t stand there anymore, he paced down the hallway, both hands coming up to run through his hair and lock around the back of his neck in frustration.  Natasha followed him, keeping her distance but not leaving him as he wanted her to.

“She’s been in danger since she met Thor.  Her work for Jane, her inside knowledge of both Bruce and Tony’s work…  Bucky…  Darcy was in this life long before the two of you even met.”  Natasha wasn’t going to back down on this.  Not when she knew the truth, not when she knew that her friend would say the exact same thing to him.  Darcy wouldn’t want him blaming himself like this.  Besides, he didn’t need to be focusing on his own guilt right now, he should be focusing on his wife.

“They put her in that fucking chair Natalia, how is that not because of me?” 

The guilt in his voice tore into her a little.  She spoke coldly then, keeping all emotion out of it, presented the facts.

“They wanted to use her, program her to be a sleeper agent, this was about her work.  Perhaps they enjoyed the knowledge that this would hurt you, but the truth is they would have taken her anyway, done this anyway, even if she wasn’t your wife.”  She hesitated a moment before speaking more honestly.  “Darcy would kick your ass for thinking this way, you get that, right?  So you need to bury this pointless guilt and leave the blame where it belongs, with Hydra.  She’s going to need you.  You can’t abandon her now, not out of some misplaced feeling of responsibility for her state.”

He turned to look at her, his eyes boring into her soul.

“She doesn’t know me Natalia.  When I pulled her out of there…   She didn’t know me, she was scared of me, she tried to run from me…  maybe it would be better that I let it stay that way, she’d be safer.”  The heartbreak and loss in his tone did nothing to stop the feeling of bitter anger that flooded her.  Men could be so stupid sometimes.

“Bòzhe mòi, you’re an idiot.”  Before she could say anymore Bruce arrived.

Natasha turned expectantly as he drew closer.  His face was hard to read, but she didn’t think he was coming with much good news.

“Hey, I have the initial scans back now, would you like to back to my office to talk… or.”

“Here’s fine Doc.”  Bucky nodded to him.

“Okay.  From the look of things the damage that’s been done isn’t going to be lasting.  We have her in an induced coma for now in the hope that it will help her heal.  The procedure they carried out wasn’t completed, I don’t think their intention was to erase her memory at all, in fact that would have been pointless in what they were trying to achieve.  From what we’ve been able to determine any programming they put in has been unsuccessful, probably because they were interrupted before they could complete it.  They had her in the chair when we found the base, I think from the scans and the footage we’ve been able to recover, whoever was in the room with her panicked.  They were trying to kill her with the chair before we could recover her, they cranked the voltage up and ran a massive current through her brain.  It’s a miracle she didn’t die.  Instead it looks like she’s lost the last two years or so of her memory.”

Bucky clenched his fists, trying hard to hold back from putting his arm through a wall.

“Is it permanent?”  Bucky demanded.

Bruce’s eyes flicked to Natasha for a second before meeting Bucky’s.

“Honestly?  It’s too early to tell.  With this type of damage, she might never remember what she’s lost or she might get flashes of bits and pieces, maybe if we get lucky she’ll remember everything.  The problem is there’s no way to know or predict when or how it’ll come back, if it does.”

“So what do we do next?”  Natasha asks when she sees the Bucky is struggling to say anything.

“For now we should concentrate on getting her well and back into her normal routine, let her refamiliarize herself with her life.  I think it’s best not to tell her things, lets encourage it to come back on its own unless she asks directly, well play it by ear.  We don’t want to overwhelm her with too much at once.”

 

* * *

 

 

At first, it’s almost too hard to be in her presence at all.  He avoids her more than he should, at least directly.

She falls back into her old life without much trouble, he understands why it’s so natural for her, the only big change in her life in the time she had lost had been him.  Their meeting, friendship, falling  in love.  He was honest enough to acknowledge it had been fast.  It had been a whirlwind, he’d proposed six months after they started dating.  It had been her idea just to go down to City Hall and tie the knot, but he hadn’t objected, he’d been too fuckin happy to care and they’d been married a week later.  The happiest eighteen months of his life had followed, right up until the moment Hydra had taken her and erased every memory she had of their time together.

Jarvis alerts him to her movement around the tower, especially when she gets up and paces the hallway in the night.  A few times he finds her, helps her back to her room, but she never remembers the next day.  One night he finds her in the kitchen eating cookie mint chip ice cream and speaks without thinking, teasing her for sneaking out to raid the freezer.  She sasses back like she used to and leans up and kisses him before wandering back to bed.  He’s left standing in the kitchen savouring the taste of her lips on his, the hint of creamy mint lingers for hours as he wonders what it means.  He feels like there’s hope now, underneath it all, part of her still knows him.  She’s unaffected the next day, no memory of the sweet kiss she’d planted on him in the middle of the night.

He spends hours researching memory loss and things that can trigger them and he finds that smells and tastes can remind people, bring back impressions.  An idea forms in his mind and he talks to Jane and Natasha and Bruce, they all agree to help.

 

* * *

 

 

 

The sudden light illuminating the kitchen had Darcy jumping three feet and dropping the spoon from her hand.  It clattered loudly off the tiles and skittered under the fridge.

“Fuck, fuck, fuckitty fuck!”  she clutched the tub of ice cream protectively to her chest and peered over the door of the freezer. 

James Buchanan Barnes, aka The Winter Soldier stood by the door blinking at her in confusion.

“Holy shitballs, Barnes, can’t a girl raid the kitchen in peace at three in the morning without being given a cardiac arrest?”  she feels disorientated by the sudden light and fully awake after the scare she’s had.  For a moment she wonders why she’s up here instead of her apartment.

“Sorry Doll didn’t know you were there….  What the hell are you doing in here anyway?  I thought you had an apartment downstairs.”

Darcy calms her raging heart and smiles sweetly.  She looks at the tub in her hands and gives the best explanation she can think of.

“I ran out of ice cream and Tony keeps the best flavours up here anyway, want some?”  She proffers the brightly coloured cardboard tub enticingly with a little wiggle.

“What the hell kinda flavour is Stark Raving Hazelnuts?”

Darcy peers at the tub in consternation….

“Chocolate, vanilla and crushed hazelnut with brownie pieces?”  Had she had this before?  It was definitely a new flavour, well, only one way to find out.

He slinks across the kitchen like a big jungle cat and reaches above her to grab a glass before turning to fill it with water.  She shivers a little at his closeness, the smell of him tickling her nose lightly, she almost wants to close her eyes and lean it.  Bad Darcy, bad, this was the Winter fuckin Soldier, not a teddy bear.  Definitely more like a panther, yeah like a panther, all that muscle and sinewy, predatory grace…  she sighs internally and drops to her knees, feeling around under the fridge for the spoon until her fingers find metal.  She grabs it, and standing, throws it in the dishwasher and opens the drawer.  She has got to stop crushing on superheroes, it’s unhealthy and unrealistic.

“I’m a strictly vanilla kinda guy, Doll.”  He tells her, a hint of amusement tinges his words as she reaches blindly into the tray and grabs a serving spoon.  She can’t stop looking at him, she feels like a moth to the flame.  His words trickle into her mind and she clamps her tongue, oh the many, many things she could say to that.  Darcy pops open the lid and digs into the creamy goodness.

“Suit yourself, more for me.”  She says cheerfully

She’ll go easy on him this time, but if he says anything even remotely suggestive the next time they meet she can’t be held accountable for her mouth.  She humms around the spoon and closes her eyes, completely unaware of the hitch in the breath of her new friend.  Behind her eyelids the image of him smiling up at her, licking his lips with a wicked look, flashes by.  Oh boy, she is really crushing hard on him if she’s fantasising now.  She opens her eyes to find him gone and slumps a little in disappointment. 

 

* * *

 

 

Team movie night doesn’t happen as often as Darcy would like, but when it does, she’s the first one up to the communal area ready to get the sweets and snack and popcorn ready and of course to stake dibs on a tub of ice cream before Thor and Steve clean out the freezer.

The opening credits appear, and she feels the seat dip beside her as Barnes takes up the last space.  The sudden shift as he sinks into the cushion’s tips her into him but she stubbornly holds onto the ice cream and the spoon.  His hand catches her elbow and keeps her steady while he settles comfortably.  It feels oddly familiar to have him grip her like this, but she shrugs it off and enjoys the sensation of his warm fingers against her bare arm, it sends a shiver up her spine.

“What have you got this time?”  He asks her quietly as she brings the spoon to her lips.

Darcy blinks up at him.  He hadn’t said a word to her since their meeting in the kitchen three weeks ago.

“Truffle Kerfuffle, want to try it?” 

She licks the back of the spoon, her eyes on the screen.

“Sounds a bit too adventurous for me.”

Darcy freezes.  He did not just…. Oh god, how could she resist.  Just as she opens her mouth to reply Jane jams a spoonful of Coffee, Coffee BuzzBuzzBuzz into her mouth and saves her the embarrassment.

“Coffee ice cream Darcy, make a note, we need some for the lab.” 

Jane has already eaten half the tub and they’re only six minutes into the movie.  Darcy feels the impending doom of a whole night sciencing approaching.  Who the hell let Jane have the coffee ice cream?

“We don’t even have a freezer Jane.”  She hisses at her friend. 

Jane shrugs then looks past her to Barnes.

“You’re strong enough, can you haul us a freezer up to the lab tomorrow from the cafeteria?”

Darcy wants to facepalm and shakes her head into her ice cream.

“Jane he is not a lacky, that’s the Winter Soldier.”

“Well he’ll have plenty of experience in the freezer department then.”  Jane hisses back.

Darcy peeks sideways, wondering if he’ll let her live if she throws herself in front of Jane.  Instead of the murder glare she was sure she would find, Barnes claps his hand over his mouth and coughs to hide the chuckle that escapes him.

“You can just call me Bucky sweetheart.”

He sees her staring at him in disbelief and winks at her before looking back to the screen.  Jaw dropping at his reaction, she mutters to herself before shoving some more ice cream in her mouth, moaning involuntarily at the large swirl of salted chocolate granash that coats her tongue, yum.

Next to her Bucky tenses and then lays his arm along the back of the couch behind her.  His gal was going to be the death of him with the noises she made, but the way she lent back into his arm unconsciously and ended up curled up fast asleep by his side kept him going.  She was going to remember, he knew it.

 

* * *

 

 

He’d shown up in the lab that morning with a small freezer in his arms.  Jane’s excited squealing had Darcy hitting her head on the underside of the desk where she had been crawling to find her pen.

Glasses askew, hair fluffing out in all directions she poked her head up to see what the commotion was.  She was just in time to see Jane directing the Winter fucking Soldier to place the freezer in the corner of the lab, just in time to see his jeans pull tightly across his ass as he bent over, his thighs flexing as he stood back up.

Darcy thinks, all things considered, Janes idea wasn’t a bad one after all.  When she manages to look away from his ass and up at him he’s looking at her over his shoulder.  She can’t believe he caught her staring like that.  The wicked grin he sends her flushes her cheeks half with embarrassment and half with desire. 

“You got ice cream for your freezer yet.?”  He asks her and Jane as Darcy pulls herself up into her chair.

“Nope, but Darcy can pick some up when she goes to get our lunch.”

She glares at Jane over the top of her glasses.

“Oh I can, can I?”

“Please Darcy?”

Darcy rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

“Fine, but you’re paying for it.”

Jane throws her credit card over the bench and Darcy swiftly stuffs in her bra.  The eyebrow raise she gets from Barnes has her shooting him a little wink of her own.

“You need a hand with that, Doll?”

“I could use a little help.  I’ll even buy you some vanilla to say thanks.”

“Whatever you want Doll.”

Whatever I want, she repeats in her head, whatever she wants.. well…  that is another beast entirely.  The vision of him shirtless, prowling across a room to her flits through her brain for a second and she tells herself to cool down.  She shouldn’t be thinking about him like that. 

He holds the door for her as they leave and places a hand at her back as they walk.  She feels safe and lets her guard down a little as he flirts with her all the way to the store and back.  It’s the most fun she’s had in ages, it’s easy to be with him, he makes he laugh.  Underneath the scary assassin is this squishy marshmallow of a man.  One she wants to get to know better.  Maybe it’s not so silly to think there might be chance.  They way he looks at her sometimes leaves her tingling but other times he seems sad.  She wished she knew what it was that upset him, part of her echo’s his pain strongly, a tiny voice in the back of her head screaming at her to hug him and tell him it’ll all be okay.

 

* * *

 

 

It’s late and try as she might she can’t sleep.  Jane had been on a science and coffee ice cream bender for the last week and her sleep patterns were suffering for it.  She’s not sure what it is she’s looking for, but she heads up the common room anyway debating the merits of actually cooking something to eat or heating some milk and trying to go back to sleep.

She flicks the light on and nearly screams when she finds Barnes hunched over the island with a tub of ice cream and a spoon.

“What in the name of all that’s holy are you doing sitting in the fucking dark Barnes?”

He doesn’t respond, just takes a second spoon form the drawer and offers it too her.

Shrugging, she moves closer and jumps up on a stool beside him. He prods the Ben and Jerrys tub closer to her and she helps herself to some of the thick creamy goodness.  It’s sweet and plain, just regular old vanilla.  She hasn’t had something like this since she was a kid.  She takes a second spoonful and savours the silky slide of the ice cream over her tongue.  There’s something hauntingly familiar about the taste, the way it makes her belly flip and her heart speed up just a little, like a memory just on the edge of her brain.  She looks down to find she’s been swirling the ice cream to mush in the tub while Bucky watches her closely, something hopeful in his eyes.

“You playin’ with it or eating it, Doll?”

“I can’t do both?”  She replies lightning quick.  It’s out of her mouth before she can even think about it. The tone entirely too intimate and suggestive even for her.  It feels like something she’s said to him before, even the ring of his own question in her ears is like a strange déjà vu.  Her breath starts to come shorter as a rush of emotion and memory seems to sweep in with each gulp of air.

He takes the spoon from her numb fingers and holds her hand in his, sweeping a comforting thumb over her palm.

“Bucky?”  The uncertainty in her voice both breaks his heart and makes it soar.

“I’m here, I’ve got you.”  She throws her arms round his neck and clings to him, melting into his embrace as two years of her life come rushing back.  Meeting him, flirting, late night talks over ice cream, the first time he kissed her, the taste of vanilla on his tongue making her reevaluate her favourite flavour.  The way he teased her, then seduced her till they were both a sticky mess.  How could she have forgotten loving him?  The horror of Hydra capturing her was hazy, but she was home, she was safe.

“I’m so sorry I forgot… Oh god, it’s been months…. I love you, I love you so much.”

“I’ve missed you so much sweetheart.”  He presses kisses into her hair, his whole body curled around her as she cried into his shoulder. “I love you so fucking much, Doll.  You’re my world, please don’t leave me like that again.”

She runs soothing fingers through his hair and tugs him down to meet her, sinking into a tearful kiss. 

On the counter behind them the ice cream continues to melt.

 

 

 


	12. Have You Seen My Keys? (Part 2 of Take My Hand)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Morning Routine 
> 
> A follow up to "Take My Hand"

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Darcy, have you seen my keys?”

“The keys you threw on the table by the door? The same table by the door you leave them on every night when you come home?  Those keys?”  She calls from the bathroom.

“Found them!”

Darcy rinses her toothbrush and sticks it in the mug.

“Babe, did you remember we’re having dinner with Steve and Nat tonight?”

Her coffee is on the vanity and she takes a large gulp, hoping it will make her more alert.

Bucky pokes his head in the bedroom door and gives her the rabbit in the head lights look.

“I thought that was next week?”

“It is next week!”

“Uhg, do we have to?”

“Yes, we have to, we missed it last time.”

Bucky wiggled his brows and winked at her.

“That was a good night.”

Darcy could feel the blush starting at her navel and working its way up….  Yes, yeah that had been a good night.  He was using her weakness against her…

“No, stop it…  We’re going. Be home in time to shower and change and pick up a bottle of red, something Nat will appreciate, you know what she likes.”

He huffed a little and padded towards her, gripping her hips in his hands.

“Fine, but you owe me.”  He tugged her closer and nuzzled into her neck, placing kisses from her collarbone to just behind her ear.  She ran her hands up his chest, fisting her fingers in the material.  Desire pooled in her belly and she whimpered as he nibbled round her ear, and ground his hips against her. 

“Jesus, Bucky, we’re going to be late.”  She sighed into his hair not sure whether to smile or frown.

Bucky cupped her face in his hands and pressed their foreheads together. 

“Fine, but we are finishing this later.”

“Don’t we always?”  She sasses back, giving him a quick kiss on the lips.  His eyes darken with desire and he swiftly captures her lips in his, kissing her till she’s breathless and panting into his mouth.  For a brief moment she seriously considering calling into work and taking the day.

He breaks off and lets her go, leaving the room before she can speak, her knees still feel weak and she breathes deeply trying to calm her heart beat.  He is such a fucking tease.

She runs shaky fingers through her hair and twists it up with a clip, grabbing her bag and slipping her feet into her shoes.

They leave the apartment together, parting at the elevator, him going up and her going down.  Just as his elevator closes, she feels suddenly ill.  Turning on her heel she runs back to the apartment, bursting through the door and hauling ass to the bathroom just in time to empty her stomach into the toilet.  Just like clockwork.  Ten morning’s in a row now.  Was this her new normal for a while?  Darcy washes her mouth out and sits on the side of the bath.  She fishes her phone out of her bag and dials.

“Jane?  Hey, can you run down to the pharmacy?”

“Are you finally ready to admit it?”

“Fine, yes, I think I’m pregnant, just get me the test.”

“I’ll be there in five, I already bought you three.”

“You’re the best Jane, thanks.”

The light tapping against the door makes her jerk.  Looking up she finds Bucky looking at her with concern.

Oh, god, not now….  Her stomach heaves and she found herself back over the toilet, retching until there was nothing left.  A warm hand ran soothingly down her back and another gently gathered her hair at the nape of her neck.  When she’s finished, he hands her a tissue and glass of water.

“You gonna take a test now?”

“You knew?”

“Doll, you switched to decaf a week ago.  Of course, I knew.  I was just waiting for you to say something.”

“But…  then why are you…”

“You’re not in this alone sweetheart.  I’m right here, this is where I’m meant to be.”

“What if…”

“Hey, no, just calm down, take a breath.  Let’s just take the test and then we’ll talk.  Anything you want to do Darcy, I am with you, always.  I love you.  Whatever you want.”

“What do you want?”  she presses.

“I want you.  I want you happy and safe.  What do you want?”

What did she want?  Looking into his eyes she curls her fingers around his.

“I want us, I want a family.  I want forever.”

“Always, Darcy.  I’m all in.” 

Some of the nerves and worry recede as they sit there waiting for Jane and she lets him gather her into his arms, feeling the tension slowly drain away.

 

* * *

 

 

“Darcy, have you seen my keys?”

She roll’s her eyes heavenward and spits out the toothpaste, although she doesn’t know why she bothers, she’s just going to be throwing up again in about fifteen minutes.

“They’re where they always are.”  She calls out, rinsing the toothbrush and placing it back in the mug.

“Found them!”  She hears him call from the living room.  Honestly, every time.

“Hey, don’t forget to pick up the wine, we really can’t miss going to Steve and Nat’s for dinner, again!”

He strolls back into the bedroom and grabs a bobble from her vanity, tying back his hair.

“Already picked it up Doll.  We gonna tell them tonight?”

Darcy bites her lip.  So far the only people who knew she was pregnant were Bucky and Jane.  They’d had a scan last week and the Doc had placed her at ten weeks.  She was nearly through the first trimester and everything looked good.

“Yeah, I think so, you okay with that?”

“It’s going to be fine.”

“I know.” 

He hands her a mug of coffee and she sips it, missing the caffeine deeply.  This was going to be so hard, getting through the next few months without her usual daily coffee breaks.  She could feel the tole it was taking already, it took her till noon to wake up properly and the baby was making her tired on top of it all.  He sits on the bed behind her and settles her back into his arms.  She melts into the warm embrace and they wait together.

He’s reschedules his mornings so he’s here to hold her hair back and just generally be an outstanding dad to be.  Seeing those two blue lines, knowing she was actually pregnant, that they were going to have a baby had been electrifying.  Instead of having to worry about how she’d tell him, he’d whooped with joy and whisked her up into his arms and twirled her through the air.  All she had been able to feel in that moment was happiness.  She was so glad he had come down and confronted her.  The whole experience of finding out had turned into one of her happiest memories. Now they were getting ready to share it with others.  Did that make it more real? 

Bucky checks his watch and hums a little under his breath.

“It’s 8:45, how are you feeling?”

Darcy frown, she feels fine actually.  Every morning at 8:42 she’s had the unpleasant sensation of nausea flood through her and had been vomiting to a flipping schedule.  Baby at least was consistent.

“I feel fine actually.”

“We’ll give it another fifteen then.”  He says settling her back against him more securely.  Darcy crosses her fingers and holds onto his arms, trying not to think about being sick.

The alarm clock blinks at her from across the room as 9am finally falls without any indication that’s she’s about to throw up.  She feels like cheering, it was the worst part of all this so far.

“I think we’re good.”  She says nodding to herself.

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Hey Doll, you seen my keys?”

“Jesus, Bucky, how many times!  Table by the door babe.”

“Found em.”

“Ready to go Doll?”

“Yeah, can you grab my shoes?”  She rinses her mug in the sink and leaves it on the rack.

He bustles back into the room and kneels by her feet while she places a hand on his shoulder to balance as he slips the flats on her feet.  He is such a ridiculous mother hen right now.  One month left till baby arrives. 

The nursery is ready, the painting finished three days ago and then Bucky and Steve had spent yesterday putting together the furniture while she and Nat had a long lunch.  It was perfect but it made it all more solid, real, like she could reach out and touch it.

From where he kneels at her feet his large hands slide up over her belly pushing her shirt up, fingers pressing lightly as he places a kiss and then begins whispering words against her skin, words of love and promises of protection to their baby.  She’s never heard of any expectant father being so fuckin attentive in her life.  He’s adorable the way he insists in talking to the bump every morning and evening, he wants the baby to know his voice, he says she can hear now, and he spends more time talking to baby than her some days.  Darcy indulges him and enjoys the warmth of him holding her, taking the chance to run her fingers through his hair and relax as he pampers her, wanting her to be comfortable and still while he chatters away.

He looks up at her and she twines a strand of his too long hair around one finger.

She smiles down at him.

“I love you James Barnes.”

“Love you too Darcy Doll.”  He rises to his feet and kisses her softly.

“Time?”  he asks,

“8:55.”

“Let’s go!”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Darcy have you…”

“On the table Babe!”

“Got em.”

Darcy leans on the edge of the sink, breathing slowly as the contraction passes.  She’s got this, she can do this.  She nods to her reflection in the mirror and brushes her teeth quickly.  No point in rushing, there’s plenty of time left.  Only four minutes apart, they only have to get down to medical.  Tony had arranged to have a doctor and midwife on call 24/7 for the last two weeks, just in case.

“Hey Doll, you okay?”

“I’m fine!”  She insists, around a mouthful of toothpaste and he grins at her in the mirror.  She shakes her head faintly, he’s more excited than she is.

He’s currently standing with her hand bag, overnight bag and a baby bag slung over his shoulder, tapping his hand impatiently against the door jam.

“Time?”  he asks her again.

“Four minutes.”  Darcy rinses the toothbrush and places it in the mug.

“Gimme.”  She motions as she leaves the bathroom

He hands her the tea and she sips it appreciatively before handing it back and placing her hands against the door, rolling her hips as she feels the band of muscle tighten around her belly and back.  Shit, that was stronger…..

“Breath Doll, just like we practiced.” 

She grits her teeth and tries not to snap.  She’d like to see him feel like this, as though her whole body was focusing on one point, just pressing and tightening and the pain that shot through her with each second it lasted, building like a wave until it seemed to break and she could relax again.  His hand comes down on the bottom of her back and rubs firmly, the warmth seeps in and she breathes like he told her. 

“Time?”  she asks him.

“8:53.”  He answers as she straightens.

“Okay, let’s go.”

They’re down in medical by 9am and she paces around, Bucky hovering at her side the whole time.

She progresses quickly thankfully and before she knows it her midwife tells her it’s time.

“Okay, Darcy, you’re doing great honey, how do you want to do this?”

She glares at the bed, she can not bare the thought of getting back on the bed.    She looks at Bucky and he just knows.

“I’ve got you Doll.” He gathers her close against his chest, her back lining up against the strong planes of his muscles, she balances, knees bent, her back against him, arms resting on his forearms their hands linked.

“Just hold my hands, I won’t let you fall.”  He whispers next to her ear.  She feels the contraction building from the base of her spine and wills herself to let her body go with it.  Her hands flex in his and she begins to bare down.

“Push, Darcy, just like that, well done honey, keep going…”  Carly’s voice sounds distant as she pushes, concentrating on the feel of his hands holding hers, the only tether she has to the real world as the pain rips through her.

“You’re doing so good Doll.”

Darcy wants to cry, it hurts, and she is so tired.

“Nearly there Darcy.”  Carly says with encouragement.  “one more time honey.”

“Now push.”

She grips his hands tight and does exactly that.

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Darcy have you seen my keys?”

She picks them up from the table by the door and throws them to him.

“Thanks Doll.”  He says as he catches them.

She roll’s her eyes and shakes her head, honestly, she’d be answering that question for the rest of her days.

“You got everything?”  She asks him while tightening the straps around Rebecca, the baby girl gurgling up at her from the car seat.

“Baby bag, blanket, pacifier...  did I forget something?”  he asks as she raises a brow at him.

“Shoes Bucky, you need shoes.”  She laughs as he stomps back into the bedroom to put his shoes on.

“Who’s a silly boy Becca?  Is Daddy a silly boy?  Yes, he is, but we love him anyway.”

He leans over behind her and presses a kiss into her neck, one hand on her hip while he plays peek a boo over her shoulder.

“We’re going to be late.”  She tells him as Becca gurgles up at him, just starting to smile as her Daddy makes the most ridiculous faces.

“Did you see that, she smiled Darcy.”  The awe in his voice has her grinning.

“You are such a softie Barnes.”

“Just for the two of you Darcy Doll.”  He grins into her neck.

“Right, let’s go!”  He grabs the car seat, lifting it effortlessly as Darcy picks up the wine bag, a nice red for dinner tonight. 

“Time?”  she asks him as they move out the door.

“Plenty of time Doll, it’s only five.”

“Right, it’s only taken us three hours to get out the door.”

Standing in the elevator he takes her hand.

Bucky smiles at her and brings her hand up to his mouth, placing a soft kiss to her fingers.

Darcy feels at peace, her life is a happy one, she has the man she loves and a beautiful baby.  Sure, he drives her crazy sometimes and he never remembers where the keys are… But he’d taken her hand three years ago and he’d never let go and she knew that he never would.

 

 


	13. Wrong Time, Wrong Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: spooning.
> 
> Overwhelmed by all the love last chapter, thank you all!!!

Feb Challenge:  Spooning

 

“Where the hell did she come from?” 

They’re two days out from the rendezvous at the pass where they will hijack Zola’s train when it happens. 

The snow is coming down thick and fast, it’s the wet sleety kind that soaks quickly through their clothes.  They’re all wet, freezing and in need of shelter.

Jacques spots the hollow in the mountainside first, a rocky shelter which will keep them out of the worst and hopefully provide a safe place to light a fire and warm up.

They’re just setting up when there is a bright flash of light a few hundred meters down the tree line. 

Bucky and Gabe go to check it out.

Bucky keeps his eyes peeled as they make their way down.  It’s getting dark and visibility is bad because of the weather.  He hears her before he see’s her.  She’s cursing up a storm, calling at the sky like a mad woman.

“I swear to Thor, Jane I am never letting you alone in a lab again!  Punching holes through fricking space, where the hell have you dumped me this time?  You had better get me back before dinner or you’ll be getting visit from the Winter fuckin Soldier!  Janie?  Do you hear me Jane?  I want to go home.”

She’s kneeling in a small clearing, one hand pressed to her head, blood trickling down from her temple, down her neck and soaking into the white fabric of some sort of summer dress by the looks of it.  She’s shivering and soaked to the skin, her lips starting to turn blue. 

“Ma’am?”

She whips round at the sound of Gabe’s voice and nearly falls over.  Bucky’s guessing that she has some sort of concussion.  Her eyes are unfocused.

“Who’s there?”

She tries to push herself to her feet and makes one staggering step towards them before her knees seem to go from under her and she ends up a heap on the snow. 

As Bucky lifts her into his arms, she opens her eyes a little and smiles up at him, his name on her lips before she falls unconscious again. 

 

“Where the hell did she come from?”  Steve asks as Gabe and he bring her closer the fire. 

Bucky ignores him, the girl’s got a concussion and had been out in the cold for a quite a while in next to nothing.  She was soaked through and she’d stopped shivering.  They needed to get her dry and warm or she would die.

“Get me some dry blankets and someone make some damn coffee.”  He orders as he holds her in his lap, he pulls the small cross body bag she’s wearing from her and throws it to Steve.

“Check her bag, see if there’s anything in there” He tells Steve.

Jacques brings two blankets and orders the other men to avert their eyes as Bucky peels her out of the wet clothes.  Jacques holds one blanket up in front of her in an effort to preserve her modesty.

With her dress off Bucky does his best not to look too closely at her or think about how smooth her skin feels.  He debates for only a second before stripping her underwear as well.  He holds her with one arm round her waist, his hand splayed over her stomach to tug off her knickers when he feels it.  The curve of her stomach is firm under fingers, she can’t be more than four or five months along, she’s still small, it hadn’t been noticeable under her dress, but it was the unmistakable roundness of pregnancy he could feel resting in the shelter of his hand.  He wraps the blanket around her, tucking her against him, briskly rubbing her arms through the blanket, trying to restore the circulation.   He’s not sure what it is about her, but every fibre of his being is screaming at him to protect her.  She’s a tiny little thing, all curvy with dark curly hair and the palest skin.  There’s something about her that calls to him.  Maybe it was the way she looked up at him earlier, a hint of recognition and relief in her eyes, maybe it’s the knowledge now of how vulnerable she really is. 

“Umm, Bucky?”

He looks up at the strange tone of his pal’s voice.  Steve hands him a photo from the girl’s purse.

 

 

 

 

“What the hell?”  he mutters as he takes it.  It’s a crisp colour photo, every detail in sharp clarity.

His own face smiles back from the picture, the dame that’s lying in his arms, tucked into his side.  The both of them look happy, relaxed. 

“There’s more.”

Steve hands him a plastic card with her picture on it, it seems to be a driver’s licence.  Under the photo is her name

 

Barnes, Darcy Elizabeth

200 Park Ave, New York, NY 10017, United States

DOB: 01/08/1992

Date of Issue:  10/12/2014

Steve tosses him another plastic rectangle.  This one hooked on a ribbon by a metal clip.  Her picture again, it appears to be some sort of id badge.

Mrs Darcy E. Barnes

Administrative Manager R&D

Stark Industries.

ID:  14783GNB578

 

“How is any of this possible?”  he mutters, looking between the ID and the girl, no, Darcy, in his arms.

“Let’s not worry about that now.  See if you can wake her up, coffee’s nearly ready, need to get something warm in her if we can.”  Morita pipes up, filling a tin mug with hot water from the pot.

“This must be some sort of trick or trap.”  Steve says, still pawing through the contents of her purse.  The next thing he brings out is a rectangle about the size of her hand.  The front is covered in glass.  Etched into the metal casing on the back is a Stark Industries logo.  When he tips it up the glass lights up and a picture appears.

Again, Bucky is confronted with his double who it seems is married to the girl. 

 

 

 

 

“Where ever she’s from she knows me and maybe you too Steve.”  He says, reading the small message that’s come up.

He shakes her a little, trying to rouse her and then calls her name.

“Darcy, wake up Doll, come on, you gotta open your eyes.”  She seems to mumble at his tone and he tries again, a little louder, more insistent.  This time he gets a whiny moan.

“Tired Bucky, go back to sleep.”

“C’mon, you gotta wake up now, you gotta drink some of this coffee, you’ve been out in the cold sweetheart, need to warm up.”

This time she wakes up properly, her eyes opening wide at the sight of him and she struggles to sit up.

“Bucky?”  she looks around the fire at the curious faces all watching her intently.  “Fuck me!”

“Language!”  Steve splutters out and Darcy turns her head to look it him, her jaw dropping open.

“Oh my god!  You actually do say that!  I thought Tony was winding me up!  What in the hell? Where the fuck am I?”

Bucky wants to smile, her tone and the words that come out of her mouth are gold. 

“You don’t know where you are?”  Steve asks suspiciously.

“No Steven, I don’t know where I am…”  she snarks at him grumpily then pauses, frowning as she really looks at them, at what they’re wearing, at the rifle slung at Bucky’s side.

“Holy shitballs.  What year is it?”

“It’s 1945 Doll.  What is it where you’re from?”  Bucky’s already accepted the impossibility of it, there’s no way anyone can fake that level of comfort with perfect strangers.  She knows them, knows them well enough to sass Steve the way he does.

“I don’t know if I should tell you that?”  she says uncertainty.  Bucky hands her the ID badge and the driver’s licence.

“Oh…  well, no point pretending is there?   It’s 2020.”

“I’m still alive, looking not much older than I am now seventy five years from now?”

Darcy looks at him guilty and nods.

“It’s a really long story.  I can’t tell you anything.”  A shiver rips through her and her teeth begin to chatter.  Morita hands over the mug and Bucky urges it into her hands.

“Here, drink this, we’re trying to get you warm.”  She sips the coffee and hisses at the heat.  She shifts uneasily in his lap and then her eyes go wide and she peeks under the blanket.

“You thought taking all my clothes off would get me warm?”

“You’re clothes were soaked doll, woulda caught your death if you’d kept them on.”  He tells her, still holding her upright, he frowns as she leans into him.  Whatever sudden adrenalin kick she had a few minutes ago was wearing down as she slumps against him, her head coming to rest on his shoulder.

“Please tell me it was you that took them off and no one else saw?”  she whispers to him.

“Just me sweetheart.  How do you feel?”

“Still cold, really cold and my head hurts.”  She bites her lip and clutches her middle.  Concern wells up in him.  The others are busying themselves setting out bed rolls and making dinner.  Steve is off by the cave entrance talking to Dum Dum.

“Is the baby alright?”  He asks lowly.

She looks at him with startled blue eyes.

“You saw?”  he nods.

“Yeah, I saw…  is it…?”

“Yours?”  she smiles softly at him.  She really shouldn’t tell him anything she thinks, but surely this, one more tiny piece of knowledge, maybe even of hope, wouldn’t hurt.  “Yes, it’s yours.  Our baby, I’m only 17 weeks along.  Just started kicking last week.  But I can feel her, she’s just fine.”

He snakes a hand under the blanket and cups her belly, pressing against the bump, as though feeling it will tell him it’s real, that this is his future, that this miracle is safe.

“You’re sure?”

Darcy almost melts.  He doesn’t even know her yet, but somehow his easy acceptance of their connection, their future fills her with confidence.  She’ll get back home.  She knows she will.  She takes his hand and moves it down and to the left and presses him more firmly into the curve. 

He holds his breath when he feels the tiny flutter under her skin.  The ripple, where a small limb kicks inside her.  The goofy smile they share fills him with emotion.  He doesn’t know how it’s gonna happen, but this dame in his arms is his.  She’s his wife and she’s carrying his child. 

“She?”  The question startles her a little.  But she nods anyway.

“We think so, at least from the scan Dr Cho did yesterday.  The tech we have access to at the Tower is way ahead of what’s publicly available and they’re still working out the kinks, but yeah, Helen thinks it’s a girl.”  She shivers again and he pulls her in closer, her face tucked under his chin, her skin is still ice cold.

“You’re not warming up Doll.  That can’t be good for you or her.”

“It’s not great, no, I can hardly feet my legs at all.”

Bucky makes a decision then.  There are two lives in his hands right now and he can’t risk them.  He settles Darcy on the ground next to him and strips out of his own clothes quickly and lays out the bed roll before urging her to lie beside him.  She doesn’t shy away when he tugs at the blanket and pulls her naked body into his, instead she presses her back firmly into his chest, wiggling her bum back into his crotch. He lays the two blankets and his coat over them and snuggles around her, spooning her. 

“Thank god you’re like a space heater Barnes or I’d probably die from the cold.”  Her teasing tone makes him grin into her hair.

Darcy hums a little, as slowly she starts to warm up a bit, she’s not kidding about him being a heater.  The serum made both Steve and Bucky run a few degrees warmer than normal.  She’s very aware of the others shifting around the fire, most of them keeping their eyes averted from the two of them.  She doesn’t know why, exactly, but she’s thankful for what privacy they’re being afforded.

He’s being very respectful with his hands and body, not touching her boobs or pressing into her bum, but she’s freezing still, and she knows she’ll warm up faster if he just clings to her the way future him does every night.  She pulls his arm around her more firmly and tucks his hand under the curve of her breast against the bedroll.  She nearly giggles at the way his body tenses behind her.   She reaches behind her, finding his ass and running her hand down to the back of his thigh, tugging until he brings it up to rest along the top of hers then pressing her feet into the shin of his other leg.

“You’re toes are like ice Doll.”  He mutters, hissing at the cold.  She just snorts.

“Yeah, that’s what you always say.”

“Do you know how you got here?”  he asks after a while.

Darcy gazes sleepily into the flames and mulls the question over before answering.

“I was visiting my friend Jane in the labs, she’s a physicist.  They work on all sorts of crazy science there.  I guess one of the experiments either worked or went wrong and I got thrown into some sort of space time rift and dumped here.  I’m not worried, they’ll get me back.  Besides, if I wasn’t going to get back home you or Steve would have been following me like crazy to keep it from happening at all.”

“But how would we know it was going to happen?”

“Well, I’m guessing from all the silly little in jokes you and Steve had about you knowing you loved me before you met me that you both remember my being here now.  Then there was the first time I met Steve, he said he’s always wondered what my last name was.  He brushed it off at the time, but now…  Well, it makes a whole heap of sense.”

“So, you think you’ll be rescued.”

“I know I will, you always find me Bucky.”

 “That doesn’t sound as reassuring as you think it does.  What do you mean I always find you?”

“I have a tiny, teeny, tendency to get kidnapped from time to time.”

There’s a beat of silence.

“You mean I’ve got another idiot to look after that can’t stay out of danger?”

“You have a type babe, roll with it.”  She twists when he pinches her side lightly in response and tries not to giggle.

“How long do you think they’ll be?”  he asks cautiously.  He really would like to have more time with her.

“What’s the date?”  she asks him.

“February 3rd.”

Darcy squeezes her eyes shut hard and tries not to cry, she stubbornly blinks back tears and nods into his arm where it pillows her head.

“Not long, the mission to take Zola’s train still happens Feb 5th.”

Bucky hears something strange in her voice as she replies to his question.  He’s gonna guess something bad happens on the mission from the way she’d tensed up and the intake of breath she’d made when he told her the date.

“Anything you want to tell me about that?”  He knows he shouldn’t ask, but he does anyway.

“I can’t Bucky…”

“But it’s not good is it.”

“No.”  it’s a very quiet confirmation, but he hears It anyway.

“Bucky…  I promise, no matter what happens, no matter how bad things get….  I love you.  One day, you’re gonna meet me, rescue me in fact from some murder basement and sweep me off my feet.  And we are going to be so happy Bucky-bear, so fucking happy.  Don’t give up, okay, cause if you do, I’ll be dead.  So, you have to keep going no matter what.”

She turns round in his arms and looks up at him, her blue eyes soft and warm. 

“Everything works out, I promise.”

“I don’t know why, but I believe you.” 

It takes him by surprise when she kisses him, but nothing has ever felt so right than kissing the beautiful dame in his arms.  She’s warm now, her skin smooth against him, her lips soft, he kisses her back, unable to care that they’ve only just met.  His treacherous brain tells him it would be so easy to have her right there and then if they weren’t surrounded by his squad mates.  He wishes he could have her alone just for an hour to show her that he already felt for her the way he knew his future self did.

“It’s true, what Steve will tell you.  Don’t know how, but Doll, I know I love you, right now, from here on out.  It doesn’t make a lick a sense, but it’s true,”

“I don’t think love is meant to make sense.  But if it helps, I’ve loved you since the minute you pulled me out of the trouble that I was in.  First time I saw you, I just knew too.”

“Get some sleep Darcy, it’s gonna be long night and you’re gonna need it if help’s coming for you tomorrow.”  She pulls away a little reluctantly, but seems to understand and he helps her turn back around, this time not trying to be a gentleman and wraps her tightly in his arms, his body curling securely around hers.  He’ll keep her safe and warm till he can hand her back to her husband.  He knows in his bones that’s who will come for her, cause he wouldn’t let anyone tell him otherwise, no matter what.

They turn up in the early hours of the morning.  Slightly older versions of him and Steve.  The clothes they wear are strange but very functional.  They’re both loaded up with supplies for themselves and Darcy.  He doesn’t leave the warmth of the nest he and Darcy are bundled in when they come, but he watches as they talk quietly to Steve.  His future self looks straight at him from the entrance and smiles knowingly. 

He leans up on his elbow and looks down at Darcy, fast asleep still, using her arm as a pillow.  He strokes the hair back from her face and presses a kiss to her forehead.

“Sleep, Doll and when you wake up this will just be a bad dream.”

He tucks the blankets back around her and dresses silently.  They have a lot of ground to cover today to get to the pass tomorrow.

“She’ll be fine.”  It’s odd hearing his own voice behind him as he looks longingly at Darcy, still curled up in the blankets.

They stand there facing each other.  Bucky can see the differences between them better like this.  The other him is slightly broader, more muscle on him than he has.  His hair’s longer, but slicked back behind his ears.  His eyes are harder, like he’s seen shit in the last seventy that have left a mark on him.  One that isn’t going to come out, ever.  There’s a certain air of menace in his stance that Bucky doesn’t want to understand. 

“I know, she’s a pistol.  I bet she gave us a run for our money.”

His counterpart smirks a bit and lets out a short bark of laughter.

“You’ve got no idea, that dame has me runnin’ in circles every day, she’s so damn stubborn.  Always getting herself into trouble.  Hard knowing who’s ass I have to save from one moment to the next between her and Stevie.”

He looks back at her again, wishing it could be him takin her home instead.

“You’ll see her again, hold onto that.  She’s the only thing that’s going to get us through the next seventy years.”  The absolute certainty in his voice shakes Bucky for a minute.  There’s something coming for him, he’s known it for a while though, that sense of creeping doom.

“Tell her goodbye for me?”

“I’ll do one better and tell her hello.”

Bucky grins and looks down at Darcy one last time, trying to memorise each line of her face, the way her soft lips pouted even while she slept, the curve of her eyebrow and the sharp angle of her cheek bone.  He nods and leaves with a heavy heart.

 

Darcy wakes slowly feeling completely warm, every line of her body pressed back against Bucky’s warmth.  She sighs and cants her hips back a little before waking properly and stiffening a little.  That’s when she becomes aware of the metal fingers running through her hair slowly.  The smell of modern laundry detergent tickles her nose, the blanket over her now is the same thick fleece she keeps on the couch in their room. 

“He’s gone.”  Sadness assaults her.  She should have got to say goodbye.  She knows they’re gone. 

“They had to leave if they were gonna make it up to the pass tomorrow Doll.  I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t get to say goodbye.”

“I know…”  he turns her in his arms till she’s resting her cheek against chest, the tears splashing against his skin.  “He, _we,_ didn’t want to wake you sweetheart.”

“You kept me safe, even before you knew me.”

He presses a kiss into her hair and runs his hand up and down her back in comfort.

“Doll, it wouldn’t matter when or where or how, no matter what time or world, I will always know you.  You’re the other half of me.  I think I spent my whole life looking for you even before I found you in the clearing screaming blue murder into the sky.  I know I spend the next seventy looking when I remember to remember you.”

“You are such a romantic sap Bucky Barnes.”  She clings to him and kisses him just over his heart.

“You ready to go home Doll?”

She nods and looks up at him.

“Take me home Bucky.”

 

 

 

 

 


	14. Happier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Doing something fun/special together.
> 
> Well. I have the very best readers ever. I fucking adore every single one of you, for your kudos, comments and support of my writing. I am completely blown away with the love I got yesterday, best Galentines Day ever! 
> 
> So this is the prompt for Valentines day. I'll be honest I wrote most of this in the early hours of the morning, got some sleep then finished, went to a parents evening, came home, went over it once more, and now I'm posting. I don't think it's what anyone would expect for this prompt, or maybe it is. It's sappy, emotional and a bit angsty. But here's the thing. Love hurts. Love is never easy. If you don't have to fight for it, you're doing it wrong, or at least one of you is. Don't get me wrong it's not all pain and struggle, there are times when it's so easy. The test of real love isn't how you cope when things are going well, it's how you do when they don't. So, I warn you now, this will be a bit sad, a bit fluffy, a bit cheesy but it does have a happy ending.

 

 

 

“Darcy, hey, wake up!” 

There’s a blaze of light as the curtains are pulled open and the sunlight hits Darcy directly in the face.  She groans dramatically and rolls over burying her face in _his_ pillow.

“Go away.”

“Darcy!  Come on, you have to get up.  Things to do, people to see.”

She pulls the duvet over her head, her voice muffled as she replies.

“What?  Ugg, no, I am not getting up!  It’s too damn early for this.”

“Oh, come on, it’s going to be a good day.  You can’t lie in bed forever.”

“Says who?”  Darcy mutters into the comforter.

The cover is suddenly gone and the bed dips dangerously.  She blinks up and glares at Jane.

“Seriously?  Who died and made you Queen?”

Jane pulls that mulish expression; the one Darcy could really have lived her whole life without seeing.

“Up, we have things to do.  I have a list of instructions and you’re not getting out of it.”

Darcy frowns, blowing a curl out of her face.

“Instructions?”

Jane smiles warmly down at her.  Darcy does not feel like smiling back, but a little voice in the back of her head nudges her to bite anyway.

“Up, I have coffee ready in the kitchen and Tony had your favourite pastries flown in from that bakery in Chicago. 

Darcy blinks stupidly at Jane.  It’s not her birthday.  What the hell is going on?

Jane jumps off the bed before she can ask anything else and grabs her hand, dragging her up.  For such a tiny woman she sure has a lot of strength.

“Okay, fine, I’m up.  But I wanted it recorded that it is under protest.”

“Duly noted.”  Jane replies dryly, shoving her toward the bathroom.

 

* * *

 

 

By the time she steps out of the shower and into the bedroom again she actually feels awake and at least a little intrigued by Janes mysterious instructions.

On the bed Jane has laid out an outfit for her.  It’s one she hasn’t worn in a long time.  The dress is a deep amber with white polka dots and the long wrap cardigan is a jewel toned burgundy red.  The heels she’s left out match and Darcy feels a tiny thrill of nostalgia. 

When she’s finally seated at the table, she finds everything exactly as Jane said it would be, fresh French pressed coffee and an array of artesian pastries she loves.

She pulls the sleeves of the cardigan up to her elbows and digs in, humming appreciatively at the fine coffee and equally fine chocolate twist. 

“Okay, Boss lady, hit me, what do I have to do?”

“Well.”  Jane tells her, reaching into her bag.  “Bucky asked me to give you this…”  Jane pulls the letter from her bag and offers it to her carefully.

Darcy sets the cup down and reaches for the letter with numb fingers.

When her hand shakes, she unfolds it and lays it on the table so she can read it.

 

_Good morning Babydoll,_

_I bet you didn’t expect this, but you know I never leave anything to chance.  I promised you something once and I followed through, now I’m callin’ in my favour.  I want you to follow my plan, just this once, no arguing.  I know you’re callin’ me all the names of the day in your head right now, but I swear, you’ll thank me later.  I expect if Jane followed through, you’re wearing that dress and those shoes, you know the ones I mean…_

Darcy slapped her hand over her mouth and choked back an unsteady sobbing laugh.  He was such a sneaky little shit.

 _Do you remember the day you wore it last?  We went out to Coney Island, you_ hated _it, complained the whole day about the cheap food and the sand everywhere and the crowds.  But you went anyway, you knew it made me happy to take you there.  I remember takin’ off those strappy little heels and holding them for you while we walked along sand.  You looked beautiful in that dress, with your hair up and little wisps of curls kissing the skin at the nape of your neck.  We stood on the beach and watched the sunset.  You made me happy that day, let me make today happy for you.  So, listen up Darcy Elizabeth cause there’s a schedule, you don’t want to be late for the grand finally.  Listen to Jane, I know she’ll keep you right doll, I know I can trust her to keep her mouth shut, so don’t go needling her to tell.  I hope today will be as special for you as made that one for me._

_James._

_P.S. I love you._

Darcy bit back her tears and pressed her fingers flat into the paper, biting her lip hard.  After taking a few minutes to compose herself she looked back up at Jane.

“Jane...”

Jane holds up a hand and stops her.

“No, I made a promise, I’m going to keep it.  Let’s go, we have somewhere to be in forty minutes.”

Darcy gives her a hard stare then glances back down at the letter.

_P.S. I love you_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Where are we?”  Darcy asks as the car draws up outside an imposing looking stone built.

Jane looks over and hands her another letter, silent smile fixed firmly in place as once again Darcy reaches for the paper.

“Don’t read it till you’re in there, I’ll wait here for you.  You’ve got an hour.”

She stepped out and made her way up the steps and inside.  The curator stood waiting for her.

“Welcome to the Grolier Club Ms Lewis.  We have a private viewing room ready for you.”

Darcy looked around again, taking in the detail.  How on earth had he managed this?  She followed closely on the woman’s heels, and followed the special instruction for handling the documents and settled down.  The woman left and Darcy brought out the letter Jane had handed her.

_“Hey Doll-face,_

_I hope you’ll enjoy the surprise.  You get a private viewing of Wallace’s Supreme Fiction, the original document.  I can’t claim to understand or even like poetry the way you do, but I did a little reading. I think I understand what you were trying to say about it now._

_Here’s the two parts that stuck me, touched me perhaps, gave me pause as I thought of you, of us, of what we are, together and apart. Of what I’ve done and who I’ve been, the fiction of the life that was taken and the fiction of the one forced on me._

****_And for what, except for you, do I feel love?_  
Do I press the extremest book of the wisest man  
Close to me, hidden in me day and night?  
In _the uncertain light of single, certain truth_ _,_  
Equal in living changingness to the light  
In which I meet you, in which we sit at rest,  
For a moment in the central of our being,  
The vivid transparence that you bring is peace

_I know you’ll understand why this resonated, I took the idea of the life I could have had and built it into something it never could have been, I spent so long looking back at that pretty lie I sometimes didn’t see the truth in front of me.  You were the only thing I’ve truly loved, the only one that brought me peace.  You think you broke me Doll?  You were the one who put me back together._

**_“Music falls on the silence like a sense,_ **

**_A passion that we feel, not understand”_ **

_I’m an asshole.  I didn’t spend the time I should have listening.  Until you, there was only silence and darkness.  You brought the music Doll and you brought the light.  I should have told you then, when I still had the chance.  You gave me back my soul, I thought it was gone forever, but it was just hurt, hiding in the darkness.  You found me, and I never thanked you for that.  So, thank you, for being bright and beautiful, for believing and pushing me even when I know I hurt you with my actions, when I pushed you away.  You never let up, never gave up.  I didn’t try to understand why, I should have.  I was selfish where you were always giving.  You deserve everything Doll, you deserve to be cherished and loved and safe.  In my mind I see you dancing still, in the echoes of my memory, in the corner of my eye.  Never stop Darcy, fill your life with music, fill it with love._

_James._

_P.S. I love you._

She fisted her hands in the material of her dress and let the tears fall on his letter, silently letting it all pour out.  She should never have watched that movie with him, he could be such a soppy bastard.  She spent the next hour reading over the work, thinking of Bucky and what he’d thought of it, now she knew he had read it.  In a way it’s was like he was here with her. That was something precious and she held onto the feeling very, fucking, tightly. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Is there seriously more to this magical mystery tour?  I feel like some pathetic thirty something in a Rom-com.  You know I hate tom-coms Jane.  Where is this going?”

“Not where you’d expect.” she tells her, biting the inside of her cheek.

“Come, on we’re here.”

Darcy steps out, they’re somewhere in Brooklyn, it looks like an old warehouse, what on earth could there possibly be here?

“It’s part of an Art’s Program Tony funds.  They get permission from the city to encourage expressive and creative arts through certain youth groups.  The idea is that even the worst places in the city should have beauty brought back to them.”

Darcy follows Jane as they make their way over to the group of kids and few adults all milling about with tables set up full of massive stencils and paints and cans of spray paint.

Jane once more pulls a letter from her bag, then turns Darcy till she’s facing the brick wall and puts the letter in her hands.

“Here, you should read this first.”

_Hi Sweetheart,_

_I hope you’re ready to have some fun.  But before you do, look up…._

She steps back on one leg and looks up and her eyes widen.  The laughter that bubbles up escapes her completely.  Up high near the top of the wall are three panels.  They all depict the same two boys.  In the first a young Bucky holds a tiny Steve Rogers in by the scruff of the neck, the latter kicking his legs, swiping at Bucky with his first.  In the second is Bucky in his uniform saluting his friend, Steve, shoulders slumped left behind.  The third panel is what’s killing her.  Steve in all his star-spangled glory is running from the Germans, Bucky in his arms like a rescued princess, winking to the street.

Jane hands her a tissue as she finally manages to control her laughter, the tears wetting her cheeks in mirth rather than bittersweet sadness.

_Steve wasn’t the only one who took art classes Sugar, I hope it made you smile, I know it did.  I can hear you laughing from here.  I promise, he hasn’t seen it yet, you can show him later, I bet he busts a rib when he does.  Go make something beautiful Doll, bring something good out of something broken, I know you can do it.  Be brave, take a chance.  Go pick a can and paint.  Remember that day in London?  When we ended up in that museum?  We spend five hours in that place, I’m pretty sure I thought we were never going to leave.  But there was that one painting and you sat there for near an hour staring at it.  Whatever it was that touched you then, let it touch you now.  I’m right beside you Doll._

_James,_

_P.S. I love you._

She tucks the letter into her bag with the other two and heads back over to Jane where she’s tentatively picking up different cans.

“You going to help Janie?”

“You bet I am, this actually looks like it might be fun.”

Darcy grins back and picks up a can, shaking it fast and lets the arts co-ordinator direct her to a piece of wall.

Jane stands beside her looking wary….

“Darcy?  I don’t know if I like the way you’re staring at the wall.”

“Chill Jane, this going to be fun.  You know I was actually pretty good at art in school.  It’s been a while, but this isn’t my first-time tagging.  It’s just, you know, legal this time.”

Darcy grins in anticipation.  She knows exactly what she’s going to do.  Using a length of card board, she starts her masterpiece.  She had eight feet of wall to fill, who says there can’t be a garden in the jungle?

 

Sitting over lunch in a tiny hole in the wall in Queens, she feels at peace and happier than she thought the day would be.  Jane’s keeping the conversation going whenever Darcy faulters and stubbornly carries on till she joins back in again.  The woman is a goddess, she doesn’t know what she’d do without her friend.  It’s been a tough year, somehow, they’ve both held together through it.  The sudden arrival of a violinist to play music that has her somewhat speechless until she hears and recognises the notes. It’s from Thais, the same Opera he took her to a little over a year ago.  She looks at Jane with confusion, she pulls another damned letter from her bag and hands it to Darcy.

 

_Afternoon Beautiful,_

_I hope lunch is going well and you’re listening to the music.  I enjoyed that trip to Opera, I never told you how much.  It was heart-breaking and beautiful.  The story made me think.  About life and death, love and loss.  Made me think of what we leave behind when we go.  It made me realise something about us.  Or maybe more accurately about me.  I never looked as deep as I should at you, at all the tiny facets that made you who you are, not in the beginning at any rate.  You’re more than just a pretty face, more than a figure that can fill out a dress like a dream.  You’re smart and passionate and good.  You’re all the most beautiful things I never took the time to really see.  All the beautiful things I took for granted.  If I could live the moments over, I’d look harder, be a better man.  You deserve better, you deserve the best.  You deserve someone that sees the things you hide.  I don’t know why you hide the best parts of yourself, but I can guess.  It probably started with assholes like me, that never botherd to listen, to look at who you were.  I think they found absolution in death, I’d really rather fuckin not.  Think about it Doll.  Really think about it.  Stop believing that the paint on your lips and the value men give you means more than the value you ascribe yourself.  You are my Thais, I’m just the poor schmuck that didn’t realise your value till it was too late._

_James._

_P.S. I love you._

“Why did he do this Jane?”  Darcy asks as she fold up the letter, the final notes of the violin coming to a close.  Jane looks torn.

“Honestly Darcy?  I think Bucky Barnes will forever be a mystery.  If anyone can figure out what all this means it has to be you, because I don‘t have clue and I know how this ends.”

“Alright then.  What’s next?”

 

* * *

 

 

Steve is waiting at the airport, standing on the tarmac by the jet, his smile only a little guilty looking.

Darcy looks at Jane questioningly.

“Sorry Darce but this time it’s Steve who’s got the letter.  I’ll be here when you get back.”

“You mean it still won’t be over when I come back?”

“There’s at least one more thing on the list before the end.  Don’t over think it Darcy, just give it a chance.  What the worst that can happen?”

Darcy sighs and facepalms.

“Jane, I know we talked about this.  We do not taunt Murphy, God of Anything that Will Go Wrong, with fighting words like that.  What’s the worst that can happen!”

She climbs out of the car and walks to where Steve waits for her.

“Hey.”  She twists her fingers in her sleeves and waits to see what he has to say.

“Hey Darce, got a letter for you.”

“Well?” she says expectantly when no letter appears.

“It’s on the jet.  You can read it once we’re in the air.”

“Fine.” 

She moves past him and up the steps, quickly finding a seat and settling in.

 

* * *

 

 

When they finally take off, he hands her the letter and a thick manila file.

“Is this…”  she breaks off, reluctant to take it.

“You don’t have to read the file.  But he insisted you have the choice.”

She takes the letter, this time more apprehensive than before.

 

_My Darling Girl,_

_You are my darling, my sweetheart, my sugar, my doll.  All the pet names in the world can’t encompasses what you are to me.  I call you by those names because there is so much that I find hard to say._

_My darling.  You are precious, more precious than gems and gold, than any treasure ever lost or found, you are my darling girl.  Each tear I’ve cost would bankrupt the richest man for it is more valuable than a diamond.  Each time I’ve caused you pain has cost me time I’ll never have again._

_My Sweetheart.  You are my heart, the whole of mine beats in time with yours.  The sweetness you gave me I tainted with my own unhappiness, the sourness of resentment left to festered in my mind did more damage than actual words ever spoken._

_My Sugar.  You were the part of me that hoped and wanted.  The sweetness of a different outcome, another future, I squandered it away._

_My Doll.  I wanted to care for you, protect you, treat you like a princess, I didn’t know how to tell you I saw your strength as well, knew it was greater than my own.  But you let me hold you close, you kept me safe through nightmares waking and sleeping.  Like a child, you were my doll, to ward off the loneliness I lived in, my friend and my companion, my equal in every way._

_You threw it back at me once, rightfully, that when I told you that you couldn’t understand it was because I wouldn’t tell you, show you, explain.  I should have handled that better.  So, Steve’s gonna take you on a little trip for me.  You want honest, this is it.  My files from Hydra and in Bucharest my journals.  Take as long or as short a time as you need._

_James,_

_P.S. I love you._

Why had he done this?  Why now?  Why wait?  He must have written these months ago.  She carefully folds the paper, another confession of love and pain.  Why couldn’t he have told her himself?  Why like this? 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The jet is fast, but not so fast she doesn’t have time to read the file.  She takes her time with it, reading each page with careful consideration.  For years all she’s had was speculation.  A patchwork of ideas she’s put together through restless nights, sleepwalking and nightmares.  He’d always been an incomplete puzzle she was trying to fix.  What was contained in the files was a part of that puzzle, not all of it, but a great deal.  He had never wanted to talk about what happened to him.  Not to her, not to anyone.  She had done what she could to hold him together, some days it had felt like she was working with nothing more than brown paper and string. 

It had never been a chore, being there for him, she never felt it as a burden, but he had convinced himself he was.  To her it had been nothing more than a labour of love.  She’d come to know exactly how she felt early on.  How could she not love him?  The letters he had sent today, a mixture of apology, memories of better times and a deep confession of love.  He’d never said the words out loud, but she had known, she had.  She’d understood it through his actions.  The way he held her, the way he took her hand, the way he defended her, the way he touched her shoulder when he passed her.  It was in the way he’d looked up at her smiling as he removed her heels in a beach on Cony Island.  It was in the way he held her close in a darkened Opera house as two characters met their end.  It was in the patience he held while she sat in front of a painting for an hour and half, waiting while she took it in.  it was in everything he remembered about her and never forgot.  She hadn’t needed the words, she’d just needed him.  But he wasn’t here.

She closed the file and pulled her bag up onto her lap, rifling through till she found what she was looking for.  The letter she’d found when she’d finally woken up from a five-week coma. 

 

_Darcy,_

_I’m leaving for a while.  I don’t know when I’ll be back.  I’m not good, I’m a mess and I never tried to fix it.  I let you take too much on yourself and I blamed you for things that weren’t on you. You were right, you always were.  You don’t have to wait for me._

_I’m sorry._

_James._

She read it over, it was so different from the letters Jane had given her.  She was almost afraid to hope that this was something more than a sweet apology meant to ease whatever guilt he felt, pay back what he thought he owed her. 

“Did you know he was born here?”  Steve asks as they walk down a side street.

She jerks her head to look up at him.  No, she hadn’t known.  Another part of his past he hadn’t shared.  She’d not sure why that piece of information stings more than the files she read on the plane.

Steve gives her sad smile.

“He was only a three when his parents took the boat to America.  He grew up learning to get rid of the accent.  Its how things were then.  You wanted to fit in, cover up the past, shed the identity of who you were as an immigrant and embrace what it meant to be American.

They gave up their family name at Elis Island.  Took an anglicised version and moved on. People didn’t talk about then, it’s probably something he never mentioned, not because he was hiding it, but because it was part of the life he lived before that was ingrained.  He learned how to speak Romanian though, guess he never forgot cause he manged to blend in here without issue for nearly a year before Zemo framed him for the bombing.”

“Where are we going Steve?”

“He kept the apartment here, even after all the trouble.  I don’t understand why, but he did.”

They stop outside an apartment building and Steve hands her the keys, telling her the flat number.

“You’re not coming up?”  she asks hesitantly.

“No.  I’ve been here before, once.  He was pretty mad at me for looking in the journals he keeps here, I’m not comfortable going where I’m not invited.  You’re not the only one that got a letter today Darcy.”

“Oh…  I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.  I should never have got in the middle of it…  it was none of my business.  Guess I just got so used to being…  to having his back, I couldn’t see the bigger picture.  I’m sorry, you know about…”

“Hey, no.”  she cut him off, throwing both hands up, shaking her head. “No one’s perfect, not even Captain America.  It wasn’t your fault.  There’s no blame here Steve.  Not from me.”

“You really do see the good in everyone don’t you?”

“It’s not so hard, it’s there if you look hard enough.”

“I’ll be down the street, there’s a café on the corner there.”  He points, and she sees the awning a few hundred yards down the street. “Just come get me when you’re finished.”

 

* * *

 

 

She lets herself into the apartment.  It’s not what she was expecting.  There had been a lot of remodelling she thinks, it’s all clean and modern looking.  Light tones of mint and cream on the walls, a brighter teal picking out the accents.  It’s a calming space.  On the table next to the small kitchenet is a letter.  If course, there’s another letter.  Next to it is a box.

She sits down and opens it.

_Darcy,_

_This is the truth, what’s left of it at least.  It’s all the broken pieces that I was trying to put back together.  It’s what I hid from you, too afraid you’d see my weakness and leave.  It’s the darkness I lived with, that I brought into your life with me but never let you look at even while I let it hurt you.  I hope this answers the questions you had.  I hope it brings some sort of closure for you for that chapter in your life._

_Always,_

_James._

 

* * *

 

 

 

It’s late when she finally leaves the apartment, her mind a swirling mess.  She felt at peace.  There was closure in it.  A million, million, questions answered.  She clutched one journal in her hand.  The one he’d written after he left.  She’d keep it forever, the things he wrote bringing a comfort she hadn’t known she needed.

By the time they land back in New York she’s exhausted, it’s been a long day, it’s nearing evening.  The sun beginning to set.

Jane’s there waiting to take her back to the Tower.

Darcy’s thankful that Jane doesn’t press, just let’s her sit in the silence.  Entering the apartment, she leaves her bag and keys by the door and Jane stops her.

“I’ve done what he asked.  This is the last part.  One more letter.  I hope I didn’t make a mistake agreeing to do this for him.”

Darcy takes the letter with a smile.

“No, it was good.  I’m glad you did.  He’s been with me every step of today, that’s because of you Janie.  Thank you.”  They hug, laughing a little tearfully before parting.

The silence in the apartment had been the empty lonely kind since she’d returned from the hospital.

Something about today had changed that.  It wasn’t empty anymore.  The memories they had shared filled the space again and she sank into the couch, toeing off her shoes and pulling her feet under her.  She sat for a while, not really wanting it to be over, before she finally opened the letter.

 

She creased her brow in consternation.  There wasn’t a letter.  There was a post card, a picturesque town on the front.  They had been there once, a year ago.  I tiny little town upstate.  She had loved how quiet it was, the peace and solitude, the simple life she’d joked.  But she’d seen the same longing in his eyes that she had.  She turned it over, noting the key taped to the back and only a handful of words underneath a set of lyrics from a song that had played on the radio over and over.

 **** _Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you_  
But ain't nobody need you like I do  
I know that there's others that deserve you  
But my darling I am still in love with you

_I left and never gave you a choice.  I took it away from you. I hope you understand where this is going.  This is me, giving it back._

****

_James,_

_P.S. I love you._

* * *

 

 

She pulls the car to stop outside the little house, the picket white fence freshly painted, flowers planted neatly in the yard.  The porch rebuilt and painted.  She takes a breath before she gets out of the car. Her heart has been beating like a drum the whole way here.

He’s sitting on the steps when she reaches the gate, his face filled with hope when he looks up and see’s her. 

He looks so different.  The long hair is gone, instead it’s cut cleanly, if a little too short, displaying the sharp relief of his cheekbones and jaw. 

She can’t hold back the tears that break free or the shrill cry of his name as she crosses the yards separating them.  Then he’s right there, in front of her, picking her up in his arms, gathering her close as she buries her face in his neck, breathing in the scent of him that she had missed so much.

“You came.”  He whispers into her hair.  He says the words like he can’t believe it.

“Of course I came, where else would I go?  You’re the only future I ever wanted.  Promise me this is forever?”

“I promise.  I don’t want to spend another day without you, for the rest of my life, Doll.”

“Forever?”  she prods again, not sure what she wants from him.  But he answers, while pressing tiny kisses over her face.

“That’s the whole point, isn’t it?  Forever?”

He takes her hand and presses something into her palm.  The cool metal warms quickly, as gold is want to do, the gem twinkles in the porch light as she stares in disbelief. 

“Bucky?”

“I’ll never be better, there’s too much that’s been broken and put back together, but…  I’m better than I was.  I’ve stopped running from it, stopped hiding.  The me here now, the one asking you to take this chance?  I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t all in Doll.  You’re it for me, I was just too stupid to see it before.  I don’t want to waste another day, not it you’re willing to take another chance on me.  So, this is me asking, Darcy.  Will you a take chance on this old soldier?  Will you marry me?  Will you let me spend the rest of my life making you as happy as you make me?”

She stands on her toes and kisses him hard.

“Yes, I will.”

 

 

 

 


	15. Dream A Little Dream (Part 3 of Take My Hand)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: spoiling each other
> 
> Set in the same world as "Take My Hand" and "Have You Seen My Keys"
> 
> I struggled to write anything today. Hope this will make a few of you smile!

 

 

 

 

 

Darcy can’t remember a time she’d ever been so happy in her life.  Six months ago she’d nearly fallen to her death but had been saved by the timely intervention of her not so secret crush.  Since then there’s not been a day, she hasn’t spent at least some time with him.  They spent so much time together lately that it was getting to the point where Darcy’s apartment was becoming irrelevant. 

It was down to the kitchen really, Bucky had the better space in his apartment, the bigger kitchen, it just made more sense for her to cook there for them.  Still, she’s far too nervous to even think about bringing up the whole, lets live together thing with Bucky, after all they’d only been dating for a few months, they were barely half way to a year.

It’s feeling guilty about not spending any time in her own place that has her heading back there when her shift with Jane is over. 

When she gets back to her apartment and lets herself in, she’s brought up short.  The place is empty, mostly.  The furniture’s still there, but the books, the record collection, her figurines and collectable bobble heads… they’re all gone.  What the hell?

As she makes her way through the small space, she realises that every one of her personal belongings had been taken from their places.

The buzzing from her pocket alerts her to the incoming call.  She answers quickly, hoping to get some answers.

“Hey Doll, are you nearly finished?  I’m making you dinner tonight, so come straight here from the lab, okay?”

“Bucky…?”

“Darcy?   Are you alright sweetheart?”

“Did you move my stuff?...  cause I’m standing in an empty apartment.”

“Shit, Darce…  look, just come up, please.  This was meant to be a surprise.”

She wants to be angry at him, raging mad even, but the tendril of worry and panic in his voice makes her crush it down to focus instead on the butterflies that are churning in her stomach.

“I’ll be there shortly.”  She tells him, hanging up quickly.

She took one last look around the shoebox she had lived in for two years and then leaves, locking the door behind her and making her way to the elevator, up the ten floors to the Avengers only area of the Tower and the residential apartments that were found there.

Bucky shared a floor with Steve and Natasha.  His apartment had three rooms and a large open plan kitchen dinning area and lounge that had an incredible view of the Manhattan skyline. 

She’s nervous stepping off the elevator and making her way to the door.  The same door she had been letting herself in and out of for over a month.  The lock clicked open as she approached, Jarvis controlled all the door locks in this part of the Tower and only authorised people could access the apartments.  Bucky had given her clearance to come and go as she liked three weeks ago. 

He’s in the kitchen when she lets herself in.  She sets her old keys on the table by the door, slipping out of her shoes and spotting her old-fashioned coat tree taking pride of place in the small hall.

He’s wearing an apron, his hair tied back with one of her scrunchies.  The smile he gives her is about as worried as the one she feels pasting itself on her own face. 

Ever the gentleman he helps her out of her jacket and hangs it up for her.

“I know this is a bit…  abrupt.”  He beings, his voice about as soothing as he can make it, which, granted, is pretty fucking soothing.

“Abrupt?”  her tone was dryer than the Sahara.

“When was the last time you even went by to pick up some clothes?”

She stops in her tracks and tries to think of the answer.

“It was six weeks ago.  Everything you wear for most occasions is already taking up room in my closet Doll.  The only thing left in the apartment that you _needed_ was that address book you picked up two weeks ago so you could send out Christmas cards.  I wanted to surprise you, do all the liftin' for you.”

“You could have asked….  It’s not like I was going to say no!”  she grumbles a little as he leads her through to the kitchen.

In the lounge there are new bookcases along the wall.  They’re the same one’s she’d ogled when they’d been down at the market a few weeks ago.  Hand crafted, heavy wood, polished to a shine in the most beautiful cherry-wood.  They were beautiful and modern looking while still retaining the classic look of a real book case.  All her books had been carefully put away in her preferred ordering system.  She breathes out his name when she sees them and tugs on him, pulling him into a tight hug.

“My bookcases!  Bucky!…  You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know I didn’t have to Sweetheart, but I wanted to.”

“You remembered the ones I liked?”

“Darcy, I went back and bought them the same afternoon, had Steve keep them at his place till today.”

“I don’t know what to say…” 

Darcy feels so lost for a moment as she looks around the room.  Her favourite pieces of art hang on the walls.  Her throw and cushions now take up space on his big sofa.  On top of the book cases all her tiny collectables have been arranged artfully on display.

The blending of both their personalities has turned the place into a home she thinks tentatively.  It feels cosey, it feels right.

“Say you’ll move in with me.”  He cajoles her, batting those ridiculously long lashes at her.

She’s tempted to let him suffer at least a little for his heavy-handed mangling of the situation, but she can see it came from a place of …  well…  she sighs internally, it came from a place of love. 

“I love you.”  She says instead.  The shock on his face makes her grin for a second before she slaps a hand over her mouth.  She had not meant to say that out loud.  Before she can take it back, he picks her up in his arms and spins with her before bringing her in for a hard kiss that has her moaning into his mouth. 

“I am hopelessly, irrevocably in love with you Darcy-Doll.” 

The declaration makes her head spin more than the sudden kiss. 

“Same.”  She tells him breathlessly. “Now, are we having dinner, or is that apron just for show?”

 

* * *

 

 

 

He checks the address again as he tugs on the tie he’s wearing.  It’s been decades since he dressed up like this.  The suit fits well, like it’s been tailored for him.  It probably has, he won’t put it past Darcy to get his measurements without him noticing, the woman never met a situation she couldn’t bend to her will. 

He’d woke up that morning to find her gone.  Yeah, it had been the worst part of his day so far.  He hated waking up alone now that he’d gotten used to her living with him, the past four months since she’s officially moved in have been the best he can remember.  He loves waking up with her in his arms, her hair either trying to suffocate or strangle him, her body draped over his like a cat soaking up the heat.

On the bedside table had been a note.

 

“Bucky,

Breakfast is ready in the kitchen, so is the coffee.  Be ready to go by 10 o’clock, you and Steve have a baseball game to be at! 

Love you,

Darcy.xxx”

 

When he’d dressed, he went to find she’d made him his favourite blueberry muffins for breakfast and the carafe was full of the special coffee she only ever brought out for special occasions. 

He’s asked Steve when he turned up what it was all about, but he’d been just as clueless as he was.

The game had been great, it was when he’d thanked Steve for getting the tickets that he’d discovered it had been Darcy who had gotten the good seats for them and thought the two of them should have a day out.

When he’d gotten home, he’d been looking forward to seeing her.  Finding the apartment empty and only a garment bag and a note on the bed, well, he’d been more than a little suspicious.

 

“Bucky,

Put on the suit and come meet me.  Driver will be there to pick you up at 7:30. 

Love,

Darcy. Xxx”

 

So here he was, outside a club of some kind in a suit like he hadn’t worn since before the war.

He’s been shown to table near the stage, by the dance floor.  It was an intimate little booth with leather upholstery.   The whole place was done up like the clubs back in his youth.  There was a big band on the stage.  As he took his seat the lights dimmed, and a woman walked out to sing.

The first strings of an old song played out slowly and he felt a shiver run up his spine.  He hadn’t heard this song in decades.  The spotlight finally lit up the singer and he felt the grin spring across his face as she winked at him before she began to sing.  He struggled a little not to laugh, he should have know what was coming after he walked into the joint.  The dress she was wearing was perfect for her and hugged and skimmed every curve deliciously.

 

**_“Stars shining bright above you_ **

**_Night breezes seem to whisper 'I love you'_ **

**_Birds singin' in the sycamore trees_ **

**_Dream a little dream of me_ **

**_Say nighty-night and kiss me_ **

**_Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me_ **

**_While I'm alone and blue as can be_ **

**_Dream a little dream of me….”_ **

 

Darcy sang her heart out for him.  He couldn’t believe she’d put all this together for him today.  She looked beautiful up there, her sultry tone reaching across the room.  He hadn’t known he’d needed this, but he had.  The whole day had been relaxing, the game with Steve, for a few minutes it had been like they’d been sent back in time.  He’d felt more like himself today than he had since 1943.  The dimly lit club, the decor, the music, it was as though the decades between then and now had melted away and all he was left with was the best of his past blended perfectly with the best part of his future.

When the song finished, he made his way to the stage and held out a hand to help her down as the band struck up the next song.

“Dance with me, Doll?”

“I think I have some space on my card.”  She said cheekily.

Darcy let him pull her close, his hand at her waist the other holding hers.  She loved him, adored him.  He was the sweetest man she’d ever known, he was always looking after her, bringing her flowers, taking her to dinner.  He would rub her feet and run her baths….  She knew she had a good one, and she had been determined to show him, just how much she appreciated all the little things he did for her every day that said I love you.  But being the over ambitious person that she was she’d decided something bigger was called for.  Once she’d got started, she had shaped the sort of day she wanted for him.  The sort of day he’d have had back then.  Seeing a game with a pal, goin out to a club for dinner and some dancing.  She knew there had to be somewhere in New York that could provide the experience and she had found it.  The hardest part had been convincing them to let her sing with the band when he arrived, luckily a little phone call from Tony had greased the skids for her. 

“Darcy…  Thank you.  Today was amazing.” 

They were dancing across the floor, Bucky effortless leading, keeping them from dancing into the path of the other couples filling up the floor.  The music was loud enough to offer privacy but not so loud she couldn’t hear what he said.

“I just wanted to show you, to tell you, that I love you, so much.”  That was all she wanted to do today, give him back a tiny fraction of the happiness he gave her every day. 

“I don’t need any of this Darcy, I don’t need grand gestures or baseball games.  The only thing I need is you.”

He meant it she realised with a start, every word.  She could read the rest of what he wasn’t saying in his tone, in the way his eyes held hers, conveying another message entirely.  He was so easy to love like this, open and wanting and sincere.

“You know you’ve got me, always.”  Her mouth turned up in a small smile that answered his.  The hand that swept up to briefly cup her jaw made her want to melt right into him.

He leaned down and kissed her softly then tucked her closer as they continued to dance, bending his head till he could whisper into her ear.

“You know, I’m kinda impressed with your attention to detail.  Everything’s been pretty authentic, the suit, the club, the band, your dress…”

Darcy looked up at him a hint of confusion in her eyes. 

Bucky looked down, a wicked gleam appearing as he bit his bottom lip.  The blood rushed out of her head and her pupils widened with desire.

He was giving her that look.  The one that said things were going to go exactly where she wanted them to, the bedroom. 

He leaned in close again and asked his question.

“Tell me, Doll, what am I going to find under that pretty little number?”  Her tummy flipped a little at his tone and she could feel the flush rising up her neck.

“Well, if I told you it would spoil the surprise.”  She whispered back, keeping her tone light and playful.

“If I guess right, will you tell me?”

“Where’s the infamous patience you’re meant to have?”  She asked with a laugh.

“Trust me Doll, I’ll take my time, I just like to know the lie of the land.”

Darcy swallowed and wondered if it was meant to be so warm in there.

“Ah, so this is recon?”

“Sure, now, are there seams up the back of those stockings you’re wearing?”

“You know there are.”

“Mmhmmm… and I can feel the boning through your dress.  Are you wearing a sexy little girdle just for me sweetheart?”

Jesus Christ, the way he asked her, like it was a dirty little secret?  Her fingers tightened in his and she felt more than heard the chuckle that came from deep in his chest.

“Maybe.”  She answered coyly as his hand slid down her hip and found where the girdle ended through the material of her dress.

“Darcy-Doll?......  When we get back to the table I’m going to find out if you’re wearing any knickers, cause from the line of your dress, Doll, you are bare under there.”

She bit her lip and let her head fall against her chest, trying desperately not to giggle.  She was in so much trouble, but it was so worth it.  He continued to lead her around the floor, and she let all the wonderful heady feelings bubble up in her.  Tonight, was going to be the best night ever.

 

* * *

 

 

“Darcy, have you seen my keys?”

“Table.  Door.  Every time, babe.”

Bucky grinned, and put the finishing touches to the table.

Coffee, fresh fruit, pancakes and a selection of her favourite pastries from the Patisserie over on 5th.  He placed a crisp cream envelope on her plate and stepped back admiring the setting.  Tablecloth, flowers, the good china she’d hidden away after the wedding three months ago and forgotten about. 

“Darcy, they’re not there!”  He called out.

He listened as she cursed from the bathroom and grumbling to herself, muttering curses as she tripped over something, made her way through to the lounge.

“Bucky?  What the hell?  They’re right here babe…”  She appears in the kitchen doorway, keys held aloft in one hand.  She stops short at the arrangement on the table.

“Happy anniversary, Doll.”

Darcy can’t keep in the massive smile that etches itself upon her face.  He was such a romantic sap.  Not that she would change that, oh no, not even a little bit.  He was perfect.  Three years since they had moved in together, she didn’t think he would ever forget.

He held the chair for her as she sat down and gave her a soft kiss before taking a seat himself.

“I can’t believe you did all this….  Thank you.”

“Did you think I’d forget?”

“What?  No, of course not.” 

She picks up the envelope and runs a sharp nail under the paper, opening it.  Instead of the card she expects to find, it’s two tickets.

“Are these tickets for…”

“Well, you’ve been wanting to go for a while.”

“I can’t believe you managed to get tickets.” 

“Steve and Nat promised to baby sit Becca for us, so I booked us a room at a hotel for the night, make it a little bit more special.”

Darcy reaches across the table and grabs his hand in thanks.  He just smiles and pours her coffee, her hand still held firmly in his.

Best. Husband. Ever. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	16. Dancing in the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Dancing
> 
> I am very late getting this in, there is around twenty minutes till Midnight here in the UK.
> 
> Thank you again to all for the wonderful comments, I love you all!

 

 

 

 

Darcy had been thrown into the past six months ago.  When she had landed here, bruised, bloodied and shaken she had panicked.  She had no ID, no one she could turn to for help and no way home. 

Jane had been working on her Bifrost inspired bridge when the explosion occurred.  One-minute Darcy had been throwing herself into Jane's path and pushing her out of the way, and the next she had been engulfed in this wave that had felt as though she were being put through a blender then put back together again.  When she had woken it had been in an abandoned building in London at the height of the Blitz.

 

According to a newspaper she had procured the date was July 1943.  She had wandered into a hospital shortly after, claiming amnesia.  It hadn’t been a difficult sell, she had after all been dropped from a height when the shock wave that had picked her up during the explosion dumped her here in this time. 

After being passed from one person to another and talking to numerous people from different agencies and departments they had cleared Darcy as being stable and sane and well enough to look after herself even with memory loss.

Being a single woman in this era wasn’t easy, worse still she had no one to help, no friends or money.  She had done the only thing she could and joined the WAC.

They had quickly noted her aptitude for nursing.  Not surprising, considering all the mandatory and voluntary courses she had attended as Jane’s sole support staff.  One of them had to know how to deal with potentially life-threatening injuries and, since so often they worked with dangerous machines and sometimes all alone out in the middle of no where, it had made sense for Darcy to pick up a few courses, or ten.

By this point she had become a qualified medic.  It was good being able to use the skills in the here and now of the past.

 

* * *

 

 

After the first difficult and harrowing six months she had almost become used to her new normal.  A small part of her however still craved home.  She stubbornly tried to stay out of known events or interacting with anyone she had ever read about or heard about, not wanting to take the chance of changing the past.  Who knew what damage she could do without knowing.  So far it had been easy, she was just a lowly nurse, no one special or likely to make waves.

It was New Year 1944 and some of the other girls had convinced Darcy to come out for a drink with them to celebrate the New Year.  Reluctantly, she had agreed. 

So here she was, sitting in a dimly lit pub, crowded with people, listening as a small piano and a band played at the back of the room.

The bartender had just set down her drink when she saw him.  Darcy had to stifle the urge to call out his name at the sight of him.  Steve Rogers stool tall and broad, just a few feet away, leaning against the bar, his back to her.  She would know him anywhere though.  His silhouette was unmistakable. 

Before being thrown back here she and Jane had been working with Stark.  They had been given lab space at the compound, which is where Jane was building her own Bifrost.

Darcy’s urge to mother hen anything looking remotely in need had kicked in for most of the Avengers and she had tucked Steve and Bruce and Tony firmly under her wing.  She cooked for them, helped in the labs, made sure they went to bed and worked with Steve on navigating modern culture, social media and the internet.  He had been quickly becoming one of her best friends. 

The sharp stab of homesickness buried itself in her gut, she wanted to go home so badly, she missed them all so much.  She had to get out of here.  She paid for her drink, knocked it back and made her excuses to the girls before winding her way through the throng to get out the door.

Just as the door came in sight a man reached out for her.

_“Where are you off to Doll, the good music’s just started?”_

Darcy freezes in shock at the words.  She had been waiting her whole life to hear those words.  Waiting patiently, knowing that one day her soulmate would say them to her.  This could not be happening.  He’s looking at her, waiting for something, but for the first time in her life she can’t speak a word.  He’s so damn pretty too.  Tall, with broad shoulders and the most beautiful eyes, wide and blue and full of mischief.  God, she bet he was a heart breaker.  He turned up the charm and smiled at her as she allowed him to brush his hand down her arm to take her hand in his.

“What do you say sweetheart?  Dance with me before you go?”

The smile he gave her was one part sweet and two parts trouble, but she couldn’t help the tiny sound of amusement that left her mouth or the way her lips curved into a grin of accent.

His smile widened at her acquiesce and he tugged her back towards the dance floor just as the band began a new song.

He drew her into his arms and she went willingly.  There was no place she would rather be.  Was this why she’d been sent back?  To meet this man who would change her life?  What did it mean for her?  Would she never return home, would she live out her life here with her soulmate?

He held her gently, as he if was afraid to scare her off, there was a respectful distance between their bodies as they danced, but as the music changed, she let herself drift closer until she was pressed up against his strong chest.  She felt safe there, in his arms, his hand placed just a hair too low on her back than was strictly appropriate for the time.  The song was a sad one, about losing the one you loved, of the hope of meeting them again one day.  She should have figured from that omen right there that this new shiny hope she’d just been presented with was doomed.  But she didn’t know that yet, so she snuggled into his chest, laying her head against his heart and sighed as he rested his cheek in her hair.  For the first time in six months the weight of worry had lifted, all she wanted was to bask in it forever.

Her eyes had closed as she let him lead her through the steps, what there was of them, and so she didn’t see Steve approaching with a sharp eyed Peggy Carter at his side, just as the music came to an end.

“Bucky, we’re going to head back to the base.  Are you coming?” 

Darcy stepped back from her partners arms at Steve’s voice so close and felt her mouth go dry.

“Hey pal, sure.  Just let me grab my coat.  Doll, you’ll let us walk you back home first, alright?”   

He looked down at her hopefully and she nodded out of panic.  The slowly dawning horror of the situation she finds herself in breaking through.  Bucky.  Her soulmate was Bucky Barnes.  Steve’s best friend.  The one he spoke of to her so often.  The same friend that dies tragically just over a year from now.  She feels the grief clawing at her throat.  All she wants is to find a quiet place to scream and cry at the unfairness of it all. 

Then it dawns on her that she’s left standing there with Steve and Peggy Carter.

“I’m sorry ma’am, Bucky has no manners, I’m Steve and this is Peggy.”

On auto pilot Darcy shakes their hands.

“I’m Darcy, it’s lovely to meet you.” 

She looks through the crowd where Bucky had gone and comes to a decision.  Perhaps if it had been anyone else, even knowing they were going to die, she would have stayed by them, been with them right to the end.  But there is so much riding on these people.  People who make decisions, life and death decisions every day that shape how the war turns out.  Steve had never mentioned Bucky having a soulmate, and to the best of her knowledge he had died, his words still the deep black of those unclaimed.  She can’t be here, can’t love him, can’t have the very thing she wants most, even more than going home to Jane and the others. 

Darcy steps back.

“I’m sorry.”  She says to Steve.  “Tell him I’m sorry, but I can’t….  I just….  I am so sorry.  I have to go.”

She turns and pushed through the crowd and manages to make it outside, running as quickly as her feet will take her, till she’d back in her dormitory at the hospital.  She strips shakily and climbs underneath the covers and cries.  She cries till there is nothing left, except dry sobs that feel as though her body might break apart from the pain.

A week later a portal opens in front of her and she’s suddenly back in the future.  Jane waiting to hug her, apologising over and over about how long it took to get her back.

It turns out it’s been fourteen months since she was thrown back in time.  Darcy had a lot of catching up to do.  She throws herself into getting up to date through social media and checks in on the situation with Shield.  That had been a shock, finding out that they had been infiltrated by Hydra, the whole organisation falling apart and Captain America’s role in it….  Darcy felt as though she was still playing catch up. 

 

* * *

 

 

Steve is gone for six months after Darcy returns, no one knowing quite what he’s up to, only that he’s looking for something.  So Darcy settles back into her life, helping Jane and Tony and Bruce, working through the deep sadness that assaults her from one day to the next. 

When Steve calls in to say he’s coming home, Darcy gets his suite ready for him and two guest suites for the friends he’s bringing.  One of her favourite coping mechanisms is baking.  With Steve returning, the memory of Bucky rears up freshly in her mind.  So she bakes.  Apple pie, Blackberry crumble, Raspberry and Pear strudel.  Muffins of every variety and enough cookies to fill three jars.  She’d just pulled the last pie from the oven when she hears Steve’s voice as he enters the room.

“The kitchen’s through here, every one’s welcome to use it, but you’ll usually find…  Darcy?”

Darcy grins at the shock on Steve’s face.

“I’m back!”  She throws up some jazz hands and laughs at his expression.  He bounds over like the over eager puppy that he is and she shrieks when he picks her up and hugs her.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?”  He demands.

“Hey, I tried to get a hold of you but you were the one not returning or accepting calls Cap.”

“Well, I’m really glad you’re home Darcy.  There’s someone I really want you to meet.”

She turns as he smiles over her shoulder, smiling in welcome to whoever he has brought, and feels the world fall out from under her.

For months she had dreamt of him, of his face, of his smile, of eyes bluer and deeper than the sea.  She had thought that she would never look on him again.  That that one night, when she had danced in his arms and for a brief moment believed she might have found something wonderful, something forever, that it was the only time she would ever have with him again.

Now she stands in the future, her future and he is there.  Real and alive and so very, very present.  She can’t feel her fingers or her toes, then her vision starts to frey at the edges.  Everything narrows to one point, his eyes, looking into hers.  The last thing she registers is the expression in them turning from shock at seeing her to fright.

 

* * *

 

 

Steve tracking him down had probably been inevitable, he’d just crossed into Romania when Steve and Sam caught up with him.  He’d been ready to bolt when Steve had called out to him, it had just been a name.  One he’d never even had from the lips of the dame it belonged to.  But it had been enough to stop him in his tracks.  It had been enough for him to listen to them.

There were still too many gaps in his memory, whole years gone that he would probably never get back, but he remembered meeting her. 

New Year 1944, he’d been a hole in the wall pub, in London.  It had been a good night, the music had been playing and he’d danced with plenty of pretty gals.  Then he’d seen her, sitting at the bar, knocking back a drink before hopping down off a stool, leaving in  a hurry.  She had been wearing a dark blue dress, nothing flashy, but she had moved with purpose, her hips swaying, shoulders back, her dark hair held back from her face with pearl clips, her lips painted crimson.   She’d looked lost for someone so set on going somewhere and he’d been unable to resist stopping her, asking her to dance.

At first, he’d thought she would refuse but she hadn’t.  She had stood rooted to the spot, looking at him like she couldn’t believe he existed.  Looked at him like he mattered.  There had been a pull within him to charm her, hold her close, get to know who she was.  They had danced slowly through two songs and by the end of it he had known that nothing, and no one, would ever feel as right and good in his arms as she did.  He’d only left for a minute to get his coat.  When he came back, she was gone.  He had looked for her, but he’d never seen her again.  He and Steve had manged to track her down to St Bart’s Hospital where she worked about two weeks later.  One of the other nurses had told them she’d went missing just a few days before. 

She had never spoke to him.  Steve had told him what she’d said before she left that night and he had known then.  Known why she had left so quickly.  She was running from him because she knew what he was to her.  At first he’d been angry about it, but the longer he thought it over the more he came to see why she had done it.  She had been afraid to speak because if she had, it would have been real.  She would have said his words and then she would have lost him.  Turns out she had been right.

Steve shouting her name to him made him stop.  Then Steve had brought out his phone and handed it to him.  There she was, smiling into the camera, her eyes bright with laughter.  That was what had made him come back.  The promise, the possibility that he would find her again.

Steve had explained about the accident that had caused her disappearance from this time, that had sent her back to their past.  That Doctor Foster was working on bringing her back, that he was certain that the her sudden disappearance in 1944 had been Doc Foster bringing her back to her future.  So he’d followed his old pal back to the States, hoping for a miracle.  Hoping that what he had thought all those years ago was the truth.

Then they were there, standing in the slick looking modern kitchen in Upstate New York, the girl he’d dreamed about, about to greet him after seventy years.

He watches as she smiles automatically at him before she recognises him.  The way her hands flare out in front of her, shaking as her face drains of colour and her smile falls as her eyes widen in shock.  He knows what’s about to happen before she suddenly drops like a puppet with its strings cut. 

He catches her before she can hurt herself, scooping her up easily and snapping at Steve for dropping it on her like that.  He at least knew what he might be walking into. 

A few minutes later, unable to let her go now he’s found her again, she slowly comes too, held in his arms, her blue eyes full of surprised elation, tears beginning to gather as she takes in her knew reality.

_“I can’t believe you’re here, I thought you were dead!”_

He grins at her stupidly, pressing his head to hers.

“You said my words.”

“You said mine first.”  She retorts, tone both apologetic scolding.

He feels complete, like all the missing pieces of him have been filled with a light that he’d lost long ago.  It was her light, making him whole again, driving some of the darkness away.

Darcy wipes at her tears and reaches out to him, touching his face, hand still shaking form shock, but he’s real and alive.  His stubble scratching her fingertips, she brings them to his lips and he kisses them gently.  He lowers her to her feet, but she throws her arms around his neck and clings, the reality hitting her as she cries into his neck.

She’s not sure how long he holds there, but she knows that Sam and Steve leave them be, giving them the privacy they need.  She had thought he was gone, had tried to process that loss only to find him again.  She doesn’t understand how he’s here, it doesn’t matter, all that does, is that he is.

“I’m here Doll, I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”  He tells her.  That’s when she realises she has been muttering out loud, all the fear that’s been wrapped up inside her that he’ll disappear again.

“I can’t believe you’re really here.”

“I can’t believe you are.  I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”  He tells her.  She can hear the same pain in his voice that she knows carries in her own.

“You knew?”

“Of course I knew, you never said a word, but I knew.  Never felt anything else so right in my damn life as dancing with you Doll.”

“Neither have I.”  she whispers into his chest as he kisses the top of her head.

It’s going to be alright now.  Everything is going to be fine.  All she can feel is him, all around her, putting all the jagged, broken pieces, back together again.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.  Now can we try this again, we never were properly introduced?”  She looks up in confusion as he lets her go.

“My name’s James Barnes, but you can call me Bucky.”

Darcy laughs and holds out her hand.

“Darcy Lewis, I’m your soulmate.”

He takes her hand and bows over it, giving it a kiss.  It’s the beginning and not the end of a very happy story.

 

 

 


	17. The Way To A Man's Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt : Baking/cooking
> 
> fluff, pure fluff.

 

 

 

 

 

Bucky isn’t sure what to make of her at first.  She doesn’t seem to have a role he’d been expecting within the compound.  She’d not a spy or a super soldier or a scientist.  There’s nothing special about her that would stands out in any way.  She flits about the place completely oblivious to the others around her. 

She has no self-preservation instincts whatsoever as far as he can see.

The first time he notices her is about a week after she and Foster turn up to claim the lab space Stark had offered them more than a year before.

She rushes along a corridor balancing a stack of binders and a tray of coffee in her arms.  He watches with interest as she scowls at the elevator doors, unable to press the button without dropping anything.  Instead of setting her burden down on the floor, she wiggles a little lifting one leg till her pencil skirt slides up her thighs, then with an exclamation of triumph slips her foot out of her heels and manages, unlikely as it seems, to press the call button with her toe.  She then slips her shoe back on, all without losing her balance or spilling the coffee, and hops onto the elevator with a grin. 

The second time he see’s her he’s down in the engineering lab to have his arm looked at.  Through the glass partitions he can see Doctor Foster, a tiny, skinny brunet, with ink smudges on her face and a half dozen pens stuck in her hair, leaning over a machine.  There’s a strange noise and then he sees the almost equally tiny form of Darcy Lewis, tackling her to the floor just as the whole thing goes up in flames.  He stands smirking as Lewis chews out Foster for not following safety protocols and messing with the machines without asking first, while the ends of her hair smoke with each waft of her hand as she tries to stop it burning.

He asks Steve about her, but he doesn’t seem to know much more than him.  Natalia shoots him a death glare when he asks her and tell him to keep his distance.  Barton chuckles and makes a comment about hurricane Darcy and tells him he’d be better off nowhere near the disasters that the she and Foster seem to be so well suited to bringing.  Stark glares at him and tells him if he doesn’t want a bedtime and enforced showers to keep well away from the menace that is Darcy Lewis.

The third time he sees her, she’s giving Foster a piggyback back up to their apartment.  It’s only as he holds a door open for her that he realises Foster is out cold, Darcy is determinedly clutching the woman to her back and doggedly plodding on under the dead weight, muttering about scientists and limits and glorified babysitting.

The next time he sees her she is sitting on the edge of the roof with a bottle of tequila and a book.  The sun is just starting to dip lower in the sky, the light behind her giving her an ethereal glow.  She catches him looking, grins at him and winks before turning back to her book, completely ignoring him and the threat he poses.  What is wrong with the girl?

Throwing herself in front of explosions, sitting on the edge of a roof?  Discarding the threat he could so easily be to her?   He’s checked, she has no defensive training or even a gun permit.  She’s a sitting duck for any bad guy, a liability in any foothold situation.  There’s something about her that sets him on edge and at the same time something inside him wants to pick her up and protect her.

Then he starts finding bakery in his kitchen.  Rolls, bagels, bread, pies, cakes, muffins….  He has no idea where they are coming from.  Eventually he accesses his apartments security footage and finds it’s him, bringing them in in the middle of the night and dumping whatever windfall he has on the counter.  It still doesn’t tell him where they’re coming from though.  It takes him a while to figure it out, when he does, he thinks he’s going to lose his mind.

 

* * *

 

 

Darcy loves the compound, it’s so big!  There are so many people to meet and get to know.  The lab space they have is huge and the computer programs for recording the data are sleek and easy to use and make keeping up with Jane's work a doddle. 

It gives her more time to finish up grant proposals and other funding.  Time to write the journal papers for Jane and have them properly reviewed and the final drafts sorted before Jane can publish them.  In the last year since moving here Jane has had more of her work published than she had in the three years previously. 

Her boss is happy, working with access to all the sorts of equipment that she could never have afforded and even specialist stuff that Stark is happy to help build for her.  He even lets Darcy help, which is like a dream come true.  She’s not ashamed to admit that Iron Man is her hero.  Not that she’ll ever tell Tony, no, nuha, the guy already has a big enough head, which he totally deserves, but you know, she can’t let him know how much she fangirls if she wants him to listen to her when it’s time to eat and sleep.

There’s a pool, games room, onsite cafeteria which is open twenty four seven and an in-house laundry service.  Darcy loves it here, she’s never felt more spoiled and productive in her life.

As an added bonus she has found some more people to add to her tribe of lost boys.  Darcy has always had a bit of Wendy complex, she sees people in need of mothering and all her instincts to take care of them kick in. 

Jane and Eric aren’t her first, but they are her favourites, scientists it seems, never really grow up.  And yes, she’s aware she’s treating grown adults, geniuses like little kids, but lets be honest.  They have all the self-control of a bunch of ten years olds.

If she let her, Jane would live on nothing but coffee and pop tarts.  Eric would drink nothing but tea and dunk his digestive biscuits in them- he’d found a fondness for them in London - and forgets there were other things belonging to actual food groups. 

Tony, she found out relatively quickly, also had a coffee addiction.  When he was on a science bender he didn’t eat at all.  Darcy winced at the thought, she was pretty sure she watched as the weight dropped off him over the course of a couple of days like this.  In the end she’d put her foot down, dragged him from the lab by his ear and made him shower and go to bed.  The next day when he emerged it was to a big breakfast with all his favourites and Darcy laying down the law.  Like Jane and Eric, he would stop to eat and sleep at appropriate intervals or she’d make him.  Pepper’s smiling face over video call convinced him to tow the line and she’d happily stomped all over his normal ability to get his own way with glee. 

Bruce had quickly followed, he’d been easy to sort, she’s just started leaving food out at the same time as she did for Tony, it was sort of a monkey see monkey do situation. 

Since then she’d branched out, there were other idiots roaming the compound in need of care. 

About three months into living there she became aware of the hovering presence of Bucky Barnes.  He lurked around the edges, always watching her.  He’d appear from no where to open doors for her, press call buttons, help her carry things…  she didn’t complain, it was kind of nice to be helped once in a while.  The thing was though, she could tell he was always on edge around her, like he just didn’t know how to talk to her at all. In fact the first time she heard his voice was also the first time she met the Winter Soldier.

 

She hadn’t known that at first of course.  She’d been in the kitchen late, making up a batch of muffins for the next day when he’s actually approached her and sat at the island while she mixed the batter.

Darcy had felt comfortable enough to say nothing more than hi when he’d pulled up a seat.  She’d continued measuring out the ingredients, adding in the sugar and butter.  She had her music on low, and she was dancing a little and singing under her breath as he watched her.

Without thinking about it she asked him to pass her things as she worked, he did so wordlessly, and they worked together easily for the next hour.

When she presented him with a plate of muffins for himself after everything was cleaned up, he’d looked uncertain.

“You helped, so you get a share of the bounty.”  She pressed, pushing the plate into his hands.

“Spasiba.”  The low growl of Russian had made her freeze for a split second, but she shook it off and nodded happily as he left the kitchen with a plate piled high with blueberry muffins.

“Jarvis, was that the Winter Soldier?”

“I believe it was Miss Darcy.  Would you like me to alert someone?”

“No…  I think it’s okay, he’s going back to his room, right?”

“Yes, Miss Darcy, Sargent Barnes has returned to his rooms.”

Darcy finished sweeping the floor while she pondered the strange encounter.

She knew the story of course, everyone in the world knew the story of James Barnes and the Winter Soldier.  The media storm after the fall of Shield, the discovery of the Winter Soldier files, the Red Book, the exposure of who he really was.  It had hit America hard. 

One of their own, lost and forgotten, a prisoner of war for seven decades, brainwashed and tortured and forced to do the bidding of the very people he had fought against through a war.  It had been devastating.  She hated to think where they’d be now if it hadn’t all come to light directly after Natasha had dumped all the files on the NET.  Some hacker had compiled a program to search out hidden Hydra files and cracked a previously unknown server, two days after Natasha’s file dump, the Hacker had made a second dump, flagging everything to do with the Winter Soldier, exposing the injustice of the century. 

After two years of searching he had been found and brought back to America, given the help and support he had needed and had been awarded numerous awards and medals for his service.  The President had made a full apology to him for leaving a man behind, for allowing Hydra to become part of the establishment and for the part American’s themselves had played in his continued torture and imprisonment. 

Darcy couldn’t blame him for being a little quiet and skittish, but she hadn’t realised that the very programming that had been forced on him still lingered.  Her heart went out to him.  He was so lost, still hurting from his past.  That the Winter Soldier had come to her kitchen and helped her bake, sounded like a cry for help.  She just didn’t know who was crying.  Him or James Barnes.  Maybe it was both.  He’d been quiet, but helpful tonight, at no point had she felt threatened or unsafe, she didn’t think he would hurt her.  With that thought she flicked off the light and decided that she had room for at least one more lost boy.

“Jarvis, if the Winter Soldier makes another night time appearance, let me know.”

“Are you sure that’s wise Miss Darcy?”

“Sure, it is Jarvis, everyone deserves a little company, even scary assassins.  I’ll be fine.  Just, lets keep this between us, alright?”

“Very well Miss Darcy, if you insist.”

 

* * *

 

 

It went on for months like that, her baking in the kitchen, the Winter Soldier lending her a hand.  She started teaching him how to bake, she figured it was a therapy thing and also a human thing, they all needed to eat.

At first, she didn’t say much, but slowly as the time went on she carried out whole conversations with him, only his expressions and snorts to guide her on his opinion.  The more time she spent with this version of him the more she liked him.  She wasn’t going to lie, he was a very attractive man.  Darcy would have to be blind not see how pretty his big blue eyes were, how soft and kissable his lips looked and the less said about his body the better.  She did her best to discard her growing crush and continued to help him as best she could.

Eight months later he was standing beside her, both of them working in tandem to get the baked good finished.  They moved around each other in a complicated dance, passing utensils and ingredients, hands and arms brushing with increased regularity. 

She’s nervous, because she hasn’t seem him in a week.  She also feels a little annoyed because she had thought that Barnes at least knew about these late-night baking sessions.  That had been put to rest a few days before when she asked him where he’d been.  He’d looked at her in confusion and asked what she meant. 

That’s when it really dawned on her that he was keeping both sides of himself very separate from each other.  She doesn’t know how she missed it before, but it’s glaringly obvious now.  It’s why she hardly ever saw him outside of the kitchen, why, when Barnes was in the driving seat he did nothing more than was polite when they crossed paths. But it couldn’t be completely separate, little things, like him handing her a coffee the way she liked a few times when she’d come to find some in the break room or him knowing which blanket was hers when he’d given her it when they were all watching movies a few weeks ago.  Just that he’d even noticed she was cold had been sweet when she considers that Winter Soldier is the one who had spoken to her the most, has been the one getting to know her.

She’s reaching for something on a high shelf when he comes behind her, one hand resting lightly on her hip to get the bag of sugar when it happens.  She loses her balance a little and rocks back into him, a strangled whimper escaping her at the feel of their bodies pressed together.

He stills behind her and then rests the sugar on the counter in front of her, his other hand coming to rest on her other hip.  The only sound left is their silence.  She doesn’t know what to do.  She is standing in the kitchen, the Winter Soldier holding her hips lightly, the warmth of his hand heating her skin even through her jeans.  She wants to press back more firmly against him, give him a sign to encourage this- whatever it is- but she can’t.  She can’t because she knows just how separated he is from the other half of him, from the man, James Barnes.

She drops her shoulders in disappointment and he seems to understand her refusal, letting her go and stepping back.  She turns to face him, and they regard each other, both of them wanting something they can’t have.

“You should tell him.  I know you can communicate with him, through dreams or whatever.  I know you’re not completely separate.  Tell him, about this, about us meeting.”

“We are the same person, кукла.” 

“I know, but if we’re really going to be friends, he needs to understand why.” 

“He likes you just as much as I do.”  He insists.

“But does he know why?  Every time I see you in the daytime he gets this look of confusion, like he’s not sure why he wants to come help me.   I didn’t realise till last week just how much you kept from him.  Does he even know where all the baked goods we make come from?”

“I am sorry, любимая.”

Darcy sighs and wonders how she ever let herself end up in a situation like this one, then realises that this is exactly the sort of bat shit crazy that can only happen to her.

He moves too fast to stop him then and pulls her into a tight hug, muttering a thank you into her hair before pressing a firm kiss to her forehead.

He’s gone before she can say anything more, left alone with countertop full of pies and cookies and no super soldier to feed it to.

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Hey, I haven’t seen you in a week, where have you been?”

He hands her the coffee and cocks his head to one side.  They don’t speak much, other than to say hello or exchange inane pleasantries.  He’s really not sure what she means, the question comes with a slight teasing tone that he knows is more familiar than he would have expected.

“There was a mission to Rio, we got stuck down there a few days.”  He answers slowly.  He watches her face carefully, sees the way she goes a little white and then stutters out an excuse to leave.

Bucky stares after Darcy in consternation.  In the last few months the draw he felt towards her had only increased.  He found himself wondering what she was doing at odd times, his mind bringing up pictures of her smile, the sound of her laugh ringing in his ears.  Then he finds himself making up a coffee for her, milky with two sugars and she thanks him with a pretty smile she only ever gives to him and then goes to leave the room.  It’s not the first time he’s made her a coffee, but it’s the first time he’s actually noticed that at some point he must have picked up on how she liked it.  One of the nights they had all gathered to watch movies he had found himself watching her constantly, without thinking about it he’d reached for the pile of blankets and selected a thick fleecy one in a sky blue and cream snowflake pattern.  She had been hiding it, but he saw that she was cold from  the way she tucked her hands between her knees.  The way she thanks him again, something more than just simple gratitude in her eyes, it should have tipped him off long before this. 

He finally cajoles Jarvis into giving him the security logs for the kitchen.  There are months’ worth of footage, him and Darcy baking together in the communal kitchen.  Or to be more accurate, the Winter Soldier and Darcy.  The pieces all start to fall into place as he watches and listens to the girl chatter on at his murderous, more dangerous half, the way she treats him like he matters, with affection and respect.  Its odd, watching yourself fall in love with someone from a distance, but it’s what’s happening.  It makes sense now, the pull he feels towards her.  He might not have been aware, but part of him had been. 

A week later he wakes up to find a note on the counter top in the kitchen.  It’s short and to the point.

**_“I know, you know.  I know you like her too.  Don’t fuck it up.”_ **

 

* * *

 

 

She doesn’t know why she bothers to come down here.  Or rather, she knows why and isn’t sure if she’d hoping for the Winter Soldier or James Barnes to appear.  She misses him.  She misses him listening to her, she misses the company and she misses the way he looked at her, like she somehow made the world a better place.

She decides to stop moping and just make something.  There’s meant to be a family dinner tomorrow night.  She could make some pies or something to put on the table.  Steve never said no to Apple and Pie and Tony was a slut for her Peach Brandy Cobbler.  Decision made she set out the ingredients.

Just as she reaches for a mixing bowl from the shelf she becomes aware of a presence behind her and she stops, still balanced on her toes.  A hand comes to rest on her hip while the man behind her reaches for the bowls.

“Let me help you, Doll.”  Gone is the faint Russian accent, instead it’s the thick Brooklyn drawl that assaults her ears.

“Barnes?”

He brings down the bowls and lets her go as she turns round.

“Um… hi.”  She says, a little lost at the sudden state of affairs.

“Hey.”  He hesitates a little before smiling crookedly.  “So, it’s come to my attention we’ve been spending a little time together.  Thought maybe you wouldn’t mind some company tonight, my company, specifically.”

“OH..”  she can feel the blush burning up her cheeks as she wonders what he knows, exactly.

His smile dims a little at her odd silence and for a moment wonders if he made a mistake, read it wrong.  He waits anyway, wondering if she’ll say anything more.

“Did you figure it out, or did he tell you?”  She finally asks.

Bucky passes her the note from his pocket. 

She bites her bottom lip, trying not to smile as she reads the Winter Soldier’s words. He liked her, they both did, or he wouldn’t be showing her this.  The tiny flame of hope she held in her heart flared to life.

“So, can I help?”  The teasing tone is back and she feels a thrill of excitement as she looks up at him.  His smile of knowing is more than a little charming.  She feels her own lips lift in response.

“I’d like that.”  She says softly as their hands brush when he gives her the bowel.  “What do I call you?”  She really does want to know, she can’t keep calling him Soldier anymore.

“You can call me anything you want, Doll.”  The wink he gives her makes her eyes widen and she bumps him with her shoulder in mock reprimand.

“Can I call you James?”

“James is fine.”

They share another grin, both their eyes lighting up in shared excitement.  It turns out he knows how to bake after all, the knowledge he’d picked up over the months right there when he needs it. 

Over time she gets to know him all over again and occasionally the Winter Soldier will make an appearance, but over the years, he comes less and less.  The more time Bucky spends with Darcy the more he feels whole.  Eventually he remembers all the time he spends with her as the Winter Soldier.  He never tells her, but she knows.  He is both now. The man and the soldier, finally one.

 

 

 

****

 


	18. Fornication (Part 4 of It's Not A Cuddle)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: fighting side by side
> 
> Yeah, I went there, this is smutty. Be warned.

 

 

 

 

 

The rain was coming down hard and fast, sheets of water reducing the already terrible visibility even more.  The sun had set hours ago but the sound of guns and rockets continued, now mixing with the crashing of the thunder in the skies above. 

They’d been pinned down in the trench for most of the day.  The German tanks blocking off their only escape route back to where the allied lines had reformed.  The 107th was in trouble.  They all knew it.  Knew that even if they survived much longer, the way things were going, the way the Germans were successfully pushing back their lines that by the time help might come, they’d either be dead or captured. 

He sat with his back against the wall of mud and dirt trying not to look too closely at the puddles of dark liquid filling the base of the trench.  In the back of his mind he was screaming in horror and revulsion.  How many of his fellows had been killed today? How many comrades in arms, men he had come to call friends had he watched die?  Blown apart by shelling or just brutally cut to ribbons by the tank guns. 

Bucky flicked his lighter absently, staring at the flame as it flickered and died with a sputter in the wet air.  He didn’t know what he wanted anymore, if death perhaps wouldn’t be a kindness, just to escape this hell he was living in.  The Catholic in him raged against the notion of death by design but the practical man in him considered it.  It would be so easy to step out into the no man’s land and just let it happen.  No more running.  No more hiding, like rats in a damn maze, being pushed further and further from safety into whatever trap the enemy had concocted for them.

Impossible as it seemed, it grew darker still, the rain continuing to fall, the sky throwing the occasional strike of lightening accompanied by the deafening roar of thunder.  That’s when it happens, the sky above him cracks open, a whirling blaze of white striking down just yards away. At first, he can’t see a thing, the light has almost blinded him.  Unlike the others who are quickly running from the sudden strike he stays put, too stunned at the event to do more than blink.

That’s when he hears them.  Americans from their accents.  A woman and a man. 

“What the hell was that?  I swear to Thor I am going to kill Jane!  What was she thinking tinkering around with the Bifrost like that?”

“Calm down Doll, it’ll be fine.  You know she never messes up for long, we’ll be back before we know it.”

“This was meant to be a nice vacation, a little trip to Xandar, meet up with Rocket for that pod race and go on a tiny little adventure with the Guardians.  Instead we get rain and mud and….. Oh My Disney, fucking hell pugs!”

“Shit, Darcy, get down now, and keep quiet.”  The mans voice dropped into a low growl and he could just make out the sound of gun being drawn and the wet sound of two bodies hitting dirt.

He stays put even as they crawl towards where he’s waiting, curious to see who the fuck has fallen outta the sky, because it’s the only explanation he can come up with for their sudden appearance.

A moment later a curvy body is dropped into his lap and he catches her without thought, a second later, a large form drops into the trench beside him.  In the darkness he can’t make out their features but the girl squirming in his arms elbows him sharply in the ribs.

“Quit wriggling sweetheart or I’ll drop you in the mud.”  He tells her caustically.  There’s a sharp intake of breath and she locks up tight, every line of her hard and still.

“You drop me in it and you’ll be sleeping on the couch for a month Barnes.”  She hisses at him, digging tiny fingers into his shoulder.

It’s his turn to go still.  How the hell does she know his name.

“Because we married her, Punk.”

Up close the man flicks a lighter and Bucky gapes as he is suddenly confronted by his own face looking back at him.

“What to hell is going on?”

The girl wiggles again and in his effort not to drop her his hand slips from her waist, up until he feels the soft brush of the underside of her bust.

“Classy Barnes, I should have known this version of you would cop a feel the first go round too.”

“I was not copping a feel Darcy, I was getting us both out of a bad situation.”  The way he says it is fondly acerbic, like this is some running gag only they know the full story too.

“You still ended up with both hands on my ass.”  She slings back, the feeling that this is a much-replayed argument increases.  Since said ass is currently sitting on his thighs, he’s not sure he can blame the other guy for feeling her up, it’s a great ass.

“Pretty sure you weren’t complaining at the time Sugar.”  The amused huff this draws from her pushes her softness more firmly into his hand and he quickly drops it back to her waist.

In the flickering light of the of the zippo he watches incredulous as the two bicker like and old married couple.

“We are an old married couple.  I’m old and she’s married.” 

“Yeah, married to you, you mook!”  Bucky tries to ignore the way she’s snuggling into him now, not sure whether he should be offended by her sassy comeback to his doppleganger.

“Can you read minds?”  He asks as he stares at the man with his face.

“Don’t be an idiot, of course I can’t read minds, I’m you, I remember this.”

The dame, Darcy, finally makes a grabby motion towards his counterpart and he lifts her away from Bucky and onto his own knee.  Bucky lets her go with numb fingers.

Darcy flutters her hand at him in greeting. “Hi, I’m Darcy, sorry about dropping on you like that, but Barnesy here just tossed me in, guess he knew you were there.  Speaking of knowing things, what the fuck babe, why didn’t you tell me about this?”

The guy shrugs and settles her more firmly in his lap rubbing his thumb in soothing circles on her thigh.  Completely ignoring him and focusing instead on his girl.

“Was never really sure how good my memory of this was, seemed a bit trippy at the time, thought I’d hit my head or something.”

“When are we anyway?”  There’s an undercurrent of something in her tone, like she’s asking something else along with it.

“Somewhere in Italy, 1943 a few days before Azzano.”  The answer given is less teasing and more serious than those before and the two share a look of understanding as she nods before brightening up again.

“Shit, is this going to mess anything up?” 

Bucky wonders how anything can be more messed up than this, trapped in a trench, a few hundred feet away from certain death.

“It’ll be fine Doll, it’s just the Germans.”  He tells her with a tight grin.  She rolls her eyes at him and sticks her tongue out.

Bucky stares at them, at himself, more specifically, with utter astonishment.

“Just the Germans?  What the hell is wrong with you?” 

They both look at him then, her with a guilty sorrow and him with a grim shrug.

“Chill my dude, I can totes give you some cuddles if you’re feeling upset.”

The way her eyes regard him make him uncomfortable, part of him thinks he would like nothing more than to take her up on the offer.

“Darcy gives the best cuddles.”  His counterpart shares conspiratorially.

“Yes, I do!”  Lifting her chin with pride in her statement leaves him with the urge to laugh.  The playful air is back between the two now and all Bucky can do is watch as the two start making faces at each other.

“Are you two fucking insane?”  If he could, he would have shouted it.

“Jury’s still out.” He’s told in a teasing manner.  “But considering they found me not guilty on grounds of diminished responsibility I guess it’s possible.”

She’s quick to cut in again, ready in an instant to poke fun.  “Oh shut up, there’s not a piece of you that’s diminished in any way!”

Bucky just stares.  It’s finally happened, he’s flipped, had a screw loose, gone crazy, nut’s, insane, was no long in possession of his faculties, turned wako!

He begins to wheeze, hysterical laughter bubbling up.

“I’ve lost it, I’m losing my mind, I’ve finally cracked…” 

The dame looks at him with a little concern and makes a shushing motion as his voice rises.

“Don’t worry Buckeroo, this will all be over before you know it.”  She attempts to comfort him.

“You still got your taser Doll?” 

“Sure I do, there’s four charges left in it, why?”

“Might have to knock him out if doesn’t calm down.”  He drawls mockingly before frowning. “Wait, who did you tase today?  What did I miss?”

“Who do you think?”

“Steve?  What did he do this time?”

“He was laughing.”

“Again?”

“It’s bat shit crazy pants, I swear, ever since he and Carter came back from Russia he keeps smiling.”

“Better than the permeant scowl he’s had on his face since we met.”

“Yeah, nope.  It’s unnatural is what it is.  Rogers has always had a stick up his butt.”

“I Know, I’ve been a little concerned too about the sudden change, but did you have to tase him?”

“He was freaking me out!”

“Twice?”

“He was cackling…. And he winked at me”

“…………..”

“Wait, Steve Rogers?”  Bucky pipes up, wondering if they’re talking about his friend.

“You know any other Steve’s?”  Darcy asks with an eye roll.

“Who are you people?”

“We already told you, he’s you and I’m your wife….. we’re from the future.”  She turns back to his counterpart and batts her eyes.  “Aww Barnesy, you were super cute at this age!  I just want to pinch your cheeks.”

“You do that and I’ll pinch your cheeks Doll-face” He tells her, running a hand over the curve of her ass threateningly as she giggles.

A loud explosion nearby has them all go quiet and he feels a stab of fear not for himself this time, but for the dame wrapped up in his future self’s arms. 

Older him cocks his head to one side and gives him a considering look.

“You’ve got one job mini me, look after our Doll.  Don’t fuck it up!”  Then he finds himself with an armful of the dame again as he watches himself leave.

She pulls his head down to whisper to him as they try to stay quiet.

“Just so you know, you are getting shit for this stunt when we get home.”

“I didn’t do anything!”  He exclaims lowly, while digging around in his pocket for the zippo since his other self has taken off with his.

“Don’t.”  she tells him, placing her hand over his.  “We’ll give away out position with the light.  It’s why you’ve run off right now.  I know you, you wouldn’t leave me behind unless there was a threat needing taking care of.”

He reluctantly repockets the lighter and tries to distract himself from how nice it feels to have her weight back in his lap.  She’s a tiny little thing and strong too from the feel of her, but she has generous curves in all the right places and she smells like apples.  When she tucks her head under his chin he relaxes a little and pulls her in close.  The tiny snort he hears tells him she’s holding back from making a comment.  He almost says something, but the noise of three sets of booted feet jumping into the trench a little way down stops him.

“Shit, I think we’ve got company.”

She motions for him to put her down which he does with reluctance, but she’s right, if they’ve got enemies incoming he has to be able to fight, he grabs his rifle as she settles into a crouch beside him, pulling out an odd looking device from a holster on her waist.

Three men come upon them then, pointing guns.  Bucky gets ready to defend them, bringing up his rifle.  It’s short and bloody, he kills the first, but before he can get the second one, Darcy pulls the trigger on her little device and it shoots out a tiny metal projectile that digs into the skin on the soldiers neck, lighting up a little as he gurgles and drops, eyes growing glassy.  Then she does the same to the second.  Stunned, he watches as this one too, drops down dead.  Before he can say anything, there’s a noise behind him and he swings the gun round, firing immediately.  Another four German soldier have snuck up on them.  The gun jams and he goes for his knife, throwing himself in front of the gun another enemy is bringing to bare on Darcy.  Using him as cover, she shoots the one behind with her taser?  Bucky makes quick work of the soldier he tackled and they both turn as one on the last enemy.  He’s not sure who took him down first.  Her or him, he falls to the ground dead, a knife lodged in his throat and the smell of ozone from the electrical device Darcy used filling the air.

They stand there panting, truthfully he thinks he’s the one more shaken by the sudden ambush.  He acts out of desperation and pulls her into his arms, running his hands over her body, checking for injuries.  She stands patiently, as though it’s nothing more than she would expect, and when he’s satisfied she’s not hurt he wraps her against his chest and clings to her, burying his face in her hair and breathing in the scent of apples. 

“Barnes……  are you cuddling me?” 

“It’s not a fucking cuddle Doll.”  He tells her stubbornly, his face still pressed into her hair.

“Lewis.”

“What?”

“When you do this, you say ‘S’not a cuddle Lewis.’.  Lewis is my maiden name.”

“I do this a lot?”  He asks sceptically.

She tips her head back and looks up at him.

“I really hope you remember this later…”

Darcy surges up and captures his lips in a hard, desperate kiss. At first he doesn’t know what to do, well he does, but he’s too shocked by the suddenness to do anything more than freeze.

It’s the look on her face that does it to him.  He’s known her for all of maybe an hour, not once in all that time, has she looked anything more than strong and confident.  But she’s still in his arms, her face now looking up at him half apologetic, half embarrassed and he can see clear as day the tiny sliver of hurt, of rejection in her eyes.  It hurts him, deep in a place he didn’t know was still capable of feeling, it hurt. 

He stares into her eyes and brings his hand up to cup her jaw, brushing his thumb under her eye and catching the tear that’s forming before it can fall.  Then his lips are crashing into hers, it’s messy and hungry and urgent.  All he can feel is her, pliant and willing as she encourages him, her fingers threading through his hair, tugging on the ends.  He’s losing himself in her with each moan and whimper, his hands traveling over her body, pulling her in and then her hands are moving down, pulling his hips to grind into her and it’s him that gasps and suddenly this is more than just a kiss.  There is a desire, a longing for more.

“Fuck… tell me stop Darcy, tell me to stop.”  He whispers brokenly into her mouth.

“I want this too….  Please, I need you….  Don’t stop…”

He’s too gone to care as he lifts her and steps over the bodies of dead men, down the narrow trench until they find a dugout where the officers had worked.  He has her inside quickly, pulling off his coat and laying it on the rickety table.  She doesn’t protest as he lifts her up so she sits on the edge, she just invites him close, legs opening to him so he can push his hips flush with hers as they kiss eagerly, hands pulling at clothes, till they could touch each other’s skin.  He grinds his hardness into the heat between her thighs, rutting into her as she shudders with each press.

There’s no finesse to it, no delicacy, just desperate desire and need driving them both.  His shirt open as she kisses and licks at his chest, her teeth scraping and nipping.  He’s never felt so much want for a woman before in his life.  She kicks off her shoes, and loses no time in helping him pull her legging off, her hands reaching for his belt and making short work of unbuckling it.

Darcy doesn’t stop to think about what they’re about to do, only knows that she needs him, right now.  She opens his trousers, shoving them and his boxers down far enough that she can take him in her hand, he’s hard and thick.   The noise he makes as she strokes him firmly, twisting a finger over the head of his cock sends a flood of wetness from her core.  His hands find their way between her legs, long fingers, sweeping between her folds and gathering the wetness, spreading it up until he finds her clit, carefully sliding over the swollen nub in tiny circles.  She can’t think, pushing herself into his hand, needing more, inner muscles clutching uselessly as the ache builds and builds.

“I need you inside me….now.”  It’s a command, one he’s happy to follow.

She guides him to her entrance and he sinks inside her slowly, his girth stretching her out, filling her, driving away the agonising ache.  When he’s bottomed out, he stills above her and she wraps her arms around his shoulders as he rests her head against hers.  Their eyes lock and she shudders at the raw emotion and need in them.  She clenches around him and closes her eyes, unable to see the naked desperation there, he pulls back before slamming into her, she cries out at the surge of pleasure dancing up her spine, moving her hips to meet his as he angles his cock to drag against her clit.  She digs her heels into his ass, as he sets a punishing rhythm, with each stoke he pushes deeper until all she can feel is him, deep inside her.  She feels like he’s trying to leave his imprint behind. 

“Look at me Doll, I want to see it, I want to see you fall apart.”

Darcy does as he asks, drowning in his eyes as he continues to thrust within her.

He wants to watch her come undone, she urges him on with her cries, his name a prayer on her lips as she tightens around him, he knows she close and he wont let go till she does, he wants to come inside her with her clenching around him.  Wants them to die the little death together as they fuck each other back to life, a reminder that they didn’t die tonight.  A memory for him to carry of this tantalising promise of a future they will share one day.  

She’s right on the edge, he can feel it as her belly clenches and her legs tremble, on his next thrust he changes the angle, impaling her as she shatters, his name shouted brokenly into his neck.  The feel of her walls clamping down drives him to his own peak and he surrenders to the pleasure, cock twitching violently as he fills her.  She flutters around him, milking every drop, back arched, pulling him impossibly deeper.  Her eyes are blown wide in bliss as he continues to rock against her, riding out the wave of orgasm.  He kisses her softly, infusing as much feeling as he can into it.  They don’t let go, continuing to cling to each other, he feels safe there, cradled between her hips.  This feels like salvation, hope.

“I love you.”  The softest whisper comes from her lips and he clutches her in close, bodies completely entwined, unable to say what he feels, unable to put it into words.

“It’s alright, you don’t have to say it back.”

The reassurance in her tone doesn’t make him feel guilty as he thinks it should.  He doesn’t want to leave her warmth, but they can’t stay like this forever.  He eases out of her, choking back a sob at the loss.  Darcy runs soothing hands over his arms and helps him re dress.  He helps her too as she slips back into her clothes, kneeling down to slide her shoes back on while she stayes perched on the table he just fucked her on.  Part of him feels ashamed for taking her like that, fast and hard in a dirty hole in the ground.  She deserves better than that. 

He’s still shaking from the adrenalin when he sits down on a low bench, near breathless from everything, the fight, the fucking…  the words she’s said.

Darcy climbs onto his lap and he folds her into an embrace, holding her carefully, like the treasure he knows she is. 

“Now this is a fucking cuddle.”  He tells her with the barest hint of amusement, letting her tinkling laugh wash over him as they both calm down.

It’s near dawn when his counterpart shows up, covered in mud and blood and tells them it’s time to go.

He leads them back to where the light first struck last night, on the ground are glowing markings in a circle.  They seem to brighten as they get closer.  Darcy runs ahead a little, running round the emblem, inspecting it.

“There’s a safe line back towards last base now.  I took out four tanks last night and two battalions.  You can get your men back to Azzano safely.”

“How the hell…”

“Don’t ask.”  He tells him shortly.  “You got her for one night.  Don’t forget it, you’re going to need that memory, it’s exactly the promise you think it is.  And when you find her again?  Pick her up and run.”

“Pick her up and run?”

“You know what she is to us.”

“She’s ours.”

“Just as much as we are hers.  Take her and run and never look back, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.  Everything that happens, she makes it worth it.”

Bucky swallows thickly.  The future looks a little less bright than it did.  Figures, there’s nothing that comes for free in this life, it’s all bought with blood and pain. 

Darcy darts up and hugs him, kissing him quickly with a shy smile and he squeezes her hand.

“I can’t wait to meet you Doll.”

Darcy grins at him and then joins his other self on the glowing marks.

“Hey!  Bucky, it’s Lewis, Darcy Lewis, don’t forget me for too long!”

Then the sky opens up again and the whirl of colour whisks them away as though they were never there.

Bucky waits a few minutes, watching as the marks burned into the ground fade and are consumed by the mud.  Then he walks away, back to find what’s left of his men and lead them back towards Azzano.

 

 

 


	19. Not A Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: patching each other up
> 
> This one will be continued.

 

 

 

 

 

“Hold Still.”

She dipped the cotton in the hot salted water and continued cleaning the wound.  It hadn’t been easy, picking the bullet out of his shoulder, but she had done it anyway.  There was no other choice.

“Sorry, Doll.”

Darcy rests her head on the back of his neck and kisses the skin there softly. She’s on edge, but can he blame her?  They had been running for five days. They had no easy way of contacting their friends, not without alerting whoever had infiltrated the compound, and with no money, no ID’s and the possibility of any agency they looked to for help bringing Hydra with them, they’d opted to stay off grid and make for one of Natasha’s safe houses in Virginia. The further away from camera’s and facial recognition the better.

“How does it feel, did I get it all out?”  She pokes the small bowl with the bullet fragments and he glances down shortly and nods.

“Yeah, you got it all. It feels better already, it’ll be mostly healed by morning and I’ll find us another car to get us the last of the way…. I’m sorry for dragging you into this Darcy.”

She grabs the suture kit and threads the needle, ready to start stitching it closed, at least somewhat. She hates needles, but needs must and she can’t leave him with a gaping wound in his shoulder. He tenses under her touch again and she concentrates on what he’d said before as she forces the tip through his skin, wincing internally at the sensation of passing it through living human tissue.  

“You didn’t drag me into anything.  It was meant to be a short getaway, it’s my fault if it’s anyone’s, I was the one who wanted us to get some time alone.  I should have taken up Tony on his offer and we could have been at the beach in Malibu right now.”

Bucky turns his head a little, placing a hand on hers to stop her for a moment.

“No, this isn’t on you. We did need the time away, we’ve been cooped up for the last year.  I was the one who made out travel plans and accommodations….”

“Okay, I get it.  It’s Hydra’s fault.”  

She cuts him off, and he lets her get back to stitching up his shoulder.

“You know this is just like old times.”  He mentions to her with a teasing grin.

“Old times?  What are we, sixty?”

“You know what I mean.”

Darcy can’t help but grin back at him.  He always knows how to make her feel better.  In the beginning it had always seemed like one or the other of them were hurt and in need of a little clean up.

“You remember the time Jane’s portal dumped me out on the roof?”

“And you fell off right into my waiting arms?”  

“Shut up, you were not waiting.  You didn’t even know I was there, I nearly flattened you.”

“You hardly weigh a thing Doll.”

“To you, maybe.”

“Why, you hankerin after some other fella these days?”

She shook her head and bumped him with her hip, then carefully covered the stitching with a gauze pad and taped the edges.

“You _know_ you ruined me for other men, who am I gonna run off with, Steve?”

She’d spoken without thinking it through.  The air between them went from warm to cold in a half a second.

Things between Bucky and Steve had been tense for months and neither one of them would tell her why, just assured her it would work itself out eventually.  She gathers up the used cotton and gauze and the water and takes it back to the bathroom to get rid of the evidence and clean up the blood.  He follows her through, leaning in the door jam, watching as she dumps stuff in the bin and washes out the bowl before washing her hands.

“You ever think about it?” He asks her suddenly.

Darcy looks up at him, confusion plain on her face.  

“Think about what?”

“You and Steve?”

Darcy did not see this coming, like at all.  Her and Steve?  There was no her and Steve.  He was her boyfriend’s best friend.  And yeah, okay, she had known Steve first, technically, seeing as how she had been living at Stark Tower when the Avengers had first formed but….  They had hardly ever had much to do with each other.  She’d been friendly as always, had helped him out a little getting used to the twenty-first century, but there had been absolutely nothing between them.

“Babe…. Where is this coming from?  There is no me and Steve, there never was.  What got this started?”

Bucky scrubs a hand over his face and pushes off the door, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms round her middle, gazing at her in the mirror.  She still can’t wipe the unsettled look of hurt and consternation in her face.

“It’s nothing, ignore me, I’m just being stupid.”

Darcy wraps her arms over his and tightens them around her, his chin falling to rest on her shoulder.

“I love you, you know that. I am never going to change my mind about that…..  Bucky, I’ve been in love with you since I was old enough to know who you were.  I know it sounds weird, but I took one look at the pictures of you in my high school history text book and fell utterly in love with a man I thought was dead.”

“Why me?  Why not him?”

She turned sharply in his arms.  This was getting ridiculous.

“What is going on?   Don’t fob me off with excuses.  Where is all this coming from?”

Bucky let her go and headed back into the bedroom

She followed him, knowing if she let him shut her down now, if he withdrew into himself this would be hanging over them for a while.  

He sat back on the bed, against the headboard and she quickly climbed up, straddling his legs and bringing them flush against each other.  It was a dirty trick, but it usually worked to keep him focused on her.

“Doll…”

“Oh no, you’re not Dolling me tonight.  Spill. Is this why you and Steve fell out? Do you think I’m secretly lusting after your best friend?”

He took her hands in his, refusing to look at her.  She squeezed them impatiently.  Wanting him to answer her so she knew where she stood here.

“Steve…  he said some things at Jane’s wedding.  We both got a little drunk on the mead Thor brought.  He thinks I’m putting you in danger, being with me when the Soldier’s still hanging in the back of my mind.”

“That’s stupid, he’s never hurt me, he never would.  Six times, he’s come forward while we’ve been together and all he’s done each time is defend me, saved my life.  I love him too, just as much as I love you, he’s a part of you.  Steve had no right sticking his nose in Bucky.”

“He said he liked you, before we met, that he’d been working up the courage to ask you out.”

Darcy freezes in shock. That was not what she had been expecting.  Steve, carrying some sort of secret crush had been the last thing she would have expected. He was always so serious with her, he was reserved and kind but, there had never been a moment where she thought there was anything other than friendship between them.

“What else.”  Her tone had turned hard.  She could almost imagine what Steve might have said to Bucky in the middle of an argument if that’s what had caused it.

Bucky looked up then, their eyes meeting.  The pain there robbed her of speech.  

“I guess the gist was that I wasn’t putting you first, that if I really loved you I would rather have you alive than in my bed.”

She’s going to murder him. She’s going to murder Captain America.

“He apologised the next day. Said he was outta line.  I guess it just sort of stuck with me.”

“Well it shouldn’t.  He’s wrong.  I know you would never put me in danger Bucky.”

“I’m a monster.”

“No, you’re not.  Not to me.  You are a good man James Barnes.  Steve was being petty and stupid, and I bet he regretted it the moment he said it.  You are everything to me.”

“I’m not worth it, Doll. He was right, look at what’s happening right now.  You’re hurt, in danger because of me.”

“You’re worth it to me. And no, he’s not right.  I’m always in danger.  I’m friends with all the Avengers, there’s always going to be some bad guy out there gunning for you or them.  I knew when I signed up with Jane after New Mexico that the danger was high, that I could be collateral damage.”

He kept his eyes in hers, searching for some truth that seemed to be escaping him.  Darcy brushed her fingers up through his hair, smoothing it back from his forehead.  The way he lent into the movement nearly broke her heart.  He’d been carrying this inside him for weeks.  

“Promise me, if I ever hurt you, even if I didn’t mean to, promise me you won’t stay, I couldn’t stand it if I hurt you.  You’re the one good thing in my life Darce.  the only thing that isn’t tainted by my past.”

She shook her head in denial.  She would never make any such promise.  Not because she didn’t believe he wouldn’t ever hurt her, stranger things had happened.  But because she knew who he was.  Knew that if he did hurt her, the way he meant, it would be because of what Hydra had done, not because he had chosen to.

“I will never abandon you, never leave you, not for something you can’t control.  Don’t you get it?  I have waited my whole life for you.  You are it for me.  There will never be anyone else I love the way I love you.  It’s not possible.  Please don’t push me way….  Doing that?  That is what would hurt me more than anything, more than Hydra, more than the Winter Soldier suddenly coming after me.”

Even the thought of losing him hurt her.  They had both worked so hard to be where they were now. They had built a good relationship, they talked, this was the first time he had ever been so silent with her over anything.  She didn’t want all that effort to go to waste, not now.  Not when she suspected what she did. But she wouldn’t force him to stay if he didn’t want to.  She could never do that to him, he had to make this choice himself.

Darcy climbed of the bed and gathered up a t-shirt to sleep in before facing him.  He was watching her closely.

“I’m going to sleep in  the other room tonight.  Give you some time to think.  I won’t force you to stay with me.  We haven’t made any promises yet.  None that can’t be undone at least…..  I’ve said my piece, you know where I stand.  But I’m going to make one thing absolutely clear.  I like Steve, I do, he’s always been a decent friend to me.  He’s been a better friend to you though.  I don’t know why he said what he did, I really don’t.  He didn’t have any prior claim on me.  I never saw him that way.  I never will.  if you hadn’t have come back, if you had stayed gone and I had never met you, I still wouldn’t be with Steve.  He never stood a chance because he was never in the running.”

She turned to go, making her way to the door when he called out to her.

“Baby-doll…  I love you.”

“I know….  but that’s not the question here.  It’s do you love me enough to stay?”


	20. Not A Monster (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Arguing.
> 
> A continuation of yesterdays fic, if you have time, go have a quick reread of the previous chapter! And Part 3 of this will be up tomorrow. 
> 
> Also, big thank you, to all the lovely readers who continue to comment and support this little collection of one shots!

 

 

 

Bucky winced and rolled over onto his side.  He couldn’t sleep.  All he could do was go over the conversation with Darcy in his head again and again.  The argument with Steve should never have happened, but it had. 

He’s not blind, he’d figured out a while back that Steve liked Darcy as more than just a friend.  It hadn’t been the first time Bucky had went with a girl only to find out later Steve had liked her too.  They both had a thing for mouthy brunets, so it wasn’t surprising.  Back then he hadn’t cared enough to keep them around if he figured it upset his best pal, but this time was different. 

Darcy wasn’t just some dame he wanted to walk out with for a good time.  She was the real deal. 

After Hydra, Darcy had been there.  A steady presence along side Steve, patient, kind and funny.  She didn’t treat him the way the others did, even Steve sometimes regarded him like a ticking bomb, walking on egg-shells so as not to provoke or trigger him.  Darcy hadn’t cared about being delicate, she had just laid out how she would act with him and told him everyone else could go fuck themselves.    

The first person to make him laugh since 1945.  The first person to touch him with the intent to comfort.  The first person to actually listen to him, really listen.  The first person to look at him without fear.  He could have loved her for those things alone.  But she was so much more to him than a friend.  She didn’t expect him to be anyone other than himself, to her, who he was, was whoever he wanted to be or felt like at any given hour of the day.  She didn’t criticise or judge.  She made him feel whole, drove some of the darkness away.  When he was with her, he was her best friend, her lover, her confident, her partner.  He liked who he was when he was with her.  She believed in him enough for the both of them.

Seeing Steve’s interest had stung.  But he’d ignored it, disregarded it.  Darcy chose him.  She loved him, he knew that.  For the first time in his life he was in love too.  He’d never really put much stock in love before the war.  He’d been playing the game, a different girl every week, plenty of dates to take dancing and other things if they were interested.  He hadn’t made any promises or led anyone on, but he knew how he’d been then, well, he’d been a dick.  Knew he could get away with it, flash a smile and give a wink and be forgiven. 

After the Winter Soldier, he could never be that guy again.  Couldn’t use someone like that and not feel sick at the thought.  It had been a wake up call in a way.  He’d manipulated and used women without much thought beyond his own needs.  It hadn’t been malicious, he just hadn’t bothered to think of the consequences, of the hurt he might have cause some of those girls hoping for more. 

He had changed, for the better.  At first he’d kept her at a distance. Treated her respectful, but she’d crept under his guard and set up home, dug out a foundation and built walls, put a fucking roof on it and moved right in. 

How could he not love someone who was so kind and selfless.  Who did so much for others without any thought of payment of any kind.  Her loyalty, her boldness, the mouth she had on her?  God, he’d never met a dame that could talk as much as she did, swore as colourfully or stood her ground so stubbornly.  She was one of kind.  Realising she loved him back just as much?  He’d went on his knees and thanked god for this miracle.

Janes wedding had been a good day, at least until the end.  Darcy had headed off to bed fairly early that night, for her at least.  She was exhausted from her maid of honour duties.  He and Steve had sat up talking till the small hours.  He remembers what started it.  A off hand comment Steve made about Darcy.  It had been stupid, a compliment about how she looked dancing earlier, the way her dress had flared with each step.  Steve had already had too much to drink, just as he had.  He’d let it slip and then they’d been arguing in earnest.

 

_“Don’t talk about my girl like that Stevie.”_

_Steve looked mulishly over his glass._

_“I didn’t mean anything by it Buck.”_

_He didn’t sound the least bit sorry, the words rang false to his ears._

_“Sure you did.  I’m not fuckin' stupid Stevie.  I see the way you look at her, like she’s something coveted.”_

_The sharp clack as Steve smacked his glass on the table echoed in the room._

_“Nothing much has changed since we were kids has it?  You_ always _got the best things.”_

_Accusation filled the air around them and Bucky had felt the sting of hurt turn to anger._

_“What the hell are you tryin' to say?”_

_Steve's smile was bitter._

_“There was never a girl of any age you couldn’t have wrapped around your finger if you wanted.”  He answered, standing up from the table and crossing his arms._

_“She’s not some trophy I won Steve, show some damn respect and If anyone is dancing to someone’s tune, it’s me to hers.”_

_And wasn’t that the truth.  He’d do anything she asked of him, would do anything he had to, to keep her safe and happy._

_“Keep telling yourself that pal, but you wanted her in your bed the minute you laid eyes on her.  I knew you would.  I should have made a move before I brought you back, you never did poach on anyone else’s turf.”_

_The stunning admission flamed the fire of jealousy and guilt in his gut. He’d knew it, knew that Steve wanted her.  If he’d liked her so much he should have made a move sooner.  But just because Steve wanted her didn’t mean Bucky was willing to give her up.  Not for Steve, not for anyone, not ever. Bucky was just drunk enough to open his mouth and lash out._

_“It’s not the forties Steve, I ain’t that guy anymore and she ain’t like any of the dames back then either, ‘cept maybe Carter.  Don’t think_ she’d _have been dancing to anyone’s tune but her own, even if you had manged to put a ring on her finger.”_

_It was low bringing up Peggy, but he was just about done with this shit.  Where the hell did Steve get off talking about his relationship like this?  It was none of his damn business.  It was his own damn fault he didn’t ask Darce out before Bucky came in.  He’d always been slow with women, it wasn’t Bucky’s fault he didn’t do something about how he felt._

_“You haven’t changed at all, you’d still rather play grab ass with a dame than think about the consequences.”_

_The violent turn of the verbal assault had Bucky reeling.  Where was all this coming from.  They were meant to be friends._

_“What the fuck is that meant to mean?”  He demands, his fists clenching in anger at his side as he stands to face Steve.  The urge to punch him in the teeth is growing with every word they throw._

_“You know what I mean, you’re still a danger, the Winter Soldier’s still in there and one day you’ll come back and she’ll be dead.”_

_There weren’t enough apologies in the world that would make up for that comment any time soon.  How could he say a thing like that?  He thought they knew each other, trusted each other.  Surely Steve knew he would never deliberately put Darcy on harm’s way._

_“You can’t know that.”_

_Even as he spoke the words, slivers of doubt were working their way into his mind.  Was he?  Was he putting his own feeling first?  Ignoring the danger he posed to the woman he loved.  Was he being selfish?_

_“Maybe not but I wouldn’t take the chance, not with someone I loved.”_

_The anger’s still apparent in Steve’s voice but it’s clearer now where it’s coming from.  This isn’t just some crush Steve’s been harbouring, he’s in love with her._

_“Is that what this is, you think you’re in love with my girl?”_

_Bucky challenges him, voice all hard edges._

_“From where I’m standing you’re certainly not .  You’d rather she keep your bed warm than see her safe and alive without you.”_

_The air leaves him, he’s numb, furious and the doubts he had always held at bay, about his relationship with Darcy are all clamouring to the surface.  He can’t do this anymore, not right now.   He just wants Steve gone_

_“Go fuck yourself Steve, cause you sure as hell won’t be fucking her!  Get the hell out of my apartment and don’t bother coming back.”_

 

 

Steve had left then, storming off while Bucky had been left to wonder what the hell had just happened.  Not even the half apology the man had given him a day later had changed what had been said.  They’d been walking on egg shells with each other ever since.  Both of them keeping what had happened from Darcy. 

Now she knows what happened, he can’t go back to ignoring the thoughts Steve has put in his head.  He can’t.  So he lies in the dark and thinks.  Weighing what he wants against the right thing to do, if there is such a thing in this situation.  He doesn’t want to be that man anymore.  The one who only cared about his own pleasure, he wants to be the guy who would do what’s best.  The problem is, that right now, he still doesn’t know what that is.

Darcy’s assurance that she and Steve were never a thing and never would have been makes he feel better.  Better about the relationship they have and vindicated in feeling like Steve had been barking up the wrong tree there.  That Darcy wouldn’t have given him the time of day romantically even if the punk had asked her out before she met him.  What was it they called it these days, getting friend zoned?  Darcy didn’t owe Steve anything.  She’d been kind to him outta the goodness of her heart.  Just like she had to him. 

Steve was wrong about that too.  He hadn’t made a move on Darce, that had been all her.  Had he encouraged her?  He certainly hadn’t discouraged her.  He couldn’t have, she had made him feel things he’d never experienced before.  Made him want things he’d never wanted before her, things he didn’t think he could ever want with anyone else.  She was it for him too, the only one he could ever love like this. 

He sits up, unable to lie there any longer.  There was no point in trying to sleep.  He gets dressed quietly, not wanting to wake her up and leaves the small house they’d holed up in.  They’d found it yesterday, the owners on vacation and had broken in under cover of darkness.  It was fine for a temporary safe-house, they would leave the place as they found it.  Right now though they needed transport to get them the rest of the way to Virginia.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Darcy woke up, gritty eyed and feeling more tired than when she had finally fallen asleep.

There was the smell of bacon and eggs wafting through the house and freshly brewed coffee.  She pushed herself up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes, blinking blearily at the time on the clock on the night stand.  6:30am.  It’s way early, still a little dark out.  Bucky would want them on the road as soon as possible.  As soon as she got to her feet her stomach turned.  She makes it to the bathroom in time to vomit last nights dinner into the toilet.  When the convulsions finally stopped, she washed her mouth out with water and flushed the toilet. 

Leaning over the sink she can’t even look in the mirror.  She needs to get a test. Soon.  Maybe it was the crappy dinner food from last night, but maybe it was something else.   She didn’t want to name the possibility, not right now.  There were other more pressing matters to deal with. 

Like the fact they were still running from Hydra.  That they still had no back up.  And that the relationship that up until last night Darcy had thought was solid, good, not going anywhere other than down a fuckin aisle sometime in the near future, had somehow been thrown into a tailspin by Steve Fucking Rogers.

They don’t talk when they eat, she sits at the table and he brings her food and coffee.  Pressing a small kiss to her forehead.  In greeting?  Apology?  Fucked if she knows.  Now that’s she’s had time to sleep on it, she’s not sure who she’s feeling angry at the most.  Steve, for putting doubts in Bucky’s head?  Or Bucky, for letting the asshole get to him.  She doesn’t think Steve would have given a rats ass about Bucky’s relationship status if it had been any girl but her he was banging, not after last nights revelation. 

She still has a sick queasy feeling in her stomach as she gets in the car.  She’s not sure whether it’s from the food, the possible bun in the oven or the thought that she had missed something as important as a guy crushing on her enough to think he had a shot with her, without her even noticing said crush.  I mean surely, she hadn’t been that oblivious?  How could she miss Captain America thinking he was falling for her?  She stops herself from obsessively going over every interaction she can remember with him.  This isn’t on her.  It’s not her fault he thinks he likes her.  She hadn’t done anything to encourage him, hadn’t been anything other than kind.  This thing, whatever it was, it was in his head.  She had never made a pass at him or indicated any sort of interest in a relationship with him before Bucky’s arrival and certainly not after.  She’d taken one look at Bucky and fell in love all over again.  Sixteen year old her had been jumping up and down in glee in her mind, all the old childhood feelings creeping back in with every day that passed. 

God it had been so hard not to make a pass at him.  But she hadn’t wanted to upset him.  He had needed a friend, so she did the only thing she could, she’d set out to be the best friend she could be to him.  Determined that at least one person in the Tower would make him feel normal. 

Six months later she had finally decided to make a play for him.  She hadn’t been sure at first how he viewed her.  He had done an admirable job of keeping his interest hidden.  There were a few methods of figuring out if a guy liked you.  She’d decided to go for the most obvious and when all the spaces on the couch were taken up on movie night she’d sat herself down in Bucky’s lap and curled up.  Waiting to see what would happen. 

She snorts as she stares out the window at the passing scenery. Something had happened all right. She had found out exactly how much he liked her, in inches.  Poor Bucky had frozen when she sat down, then as the movie progressed kept shifting to get comfortable, moving Darcy as best he could so she wouldn’t feel what was going on in his pants.  Eventually she’d had mercy on him and slipped off his lap onto the floor at his feet and used his knee as a head rest, but not before kissing his cheek lightly and giving him that smile.  The one she reserved to invite a guy closer, it had worked.  His hands had made their way into her hair, he had played with it, gently massaging her scalp and leaving her a boneless mess before the end of the movie.  When Tony had insisted on putting on a second she had went for a bathroom break.  Coming back into the room, she had been ready to take her place back at his feet when he’d pulled her back down into his lap and locked his arms around her.  Pinching her sides in reprimand every time she squirmed against him, not bothering to hide the evidence of how she made him feel.  She can’t keep the smile off her face as she remembers it.  It had been the most high school thing to do, but it had worked.

 

She risks a glance over at him.  He’s concentrating on the road, but she knows, he knows, she’s watching him.  She loves him.  And as unhealthy as it was, he was her whole world.  She would do anything for him.  He would do anything for her too.  As much as she wants him to come to a decision on his own and definitely without the added burden of the possibility she was keeping, she doesn’t want to give up on him.  She wants to fight for him.  She wants him to know she’ll fight to keep him, so she can’t pull away, can’t punish him by withdrawing because she’s mad. 

Darcy reaches a hand over the space between them, hovering over his knee, hesitating to touch him but them his hand catches hers in a tight grip, settling them both in his lap.  His eyes don’t leave the road, but she see the way he shuts them tight briefly as though in relief.  She leans into him then, exhausted and drained, her head coming to rest on his shoulder.

“Sleep Doll, I’ve got you.”

Darcy lets her eyes drift shut.  Maybe when she wakes up this will all have been a bad dream.

 

* * *

 

 

They pull into the safe house in Virginia late at night.  It’s an old cabin in the middle of nowhere.  So far off the beaten track Darcy’s pretty sure the road isn’t even on the map.  Bucky pulls the truck up under the cover of the trees, ensuring it won’t be seen by satellite.  He really is paranoid, but she can’t fault him this time. 

It doesn’t look like much on the surface, a basic, rustic, hunting cabin.  Once they’re inside safe, Bucky checks the doors and windows then leads her through to a back bedroom, opens the closet and then slides the closet floor back.   

“A secret trap door?  What is this, the Man from Uncle?”

“You know Nat, she appreciates the classics.”

There’s a set of steps winding down.  Underneath the cabin is sleek and clean, the place kitted out with so much Stark Tech that she knows Tony must have had a hand in it.

“Nat trusts Tony enough to let him know where her safe houses are?”

“I’m pretty sure he’s done this for most of her places.”

“Wow…  have I missed something between them?”

Bucky shrugged, what Nat and Tony did in their own time was no one’s business but their own.

There’s a scanner for a hand print and retinal reading.  Bucky gives both and then the welcoming voice of Jarvis pipes up.

“Sargent Barnes, Miss Lewis, I am most relieved that you have made it to safety.  The team have been quite worried about you both.  May I give your location to sir?  I believe we can have a jet there within the hour.”

“Only Stark gets the location, only he inputs into the jets computer.  We think someone on the inside was involved.  Don’t want to risk another incident.”

“Sir agrees and say’s his ETA is 42 minutes.  Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“We’re good Jarvis, thank you and thank Tony too.”  Darcy pipes up, because yes, thank fuck for Tony Stark and his brilliant AI.  Nothing could hack Jarvis for their location and Tony would come get them himself, which means he’s worried about them.

She opens her mouth to ask Bucky something when she feels the world start to tilt.  The next thing she knows she’s cradled in Bucky’s arms, him calling her name, sounding more panicked and scared than she’s ever seen him.

“I’m fine… I’m fine, it’s okay Bucky.”

“What the hell was that Darcy?” 

She can’t tell him, not yet, not till he decides, one way or another.  Instead she clutches his wrist reassuringly and smiles up at him.

“Just a dizzy spell, we didn’t each much today.  It’s been what, 17 hours since breakfast?  You know me, I’m a hobbit, I’m used to multiple food breaks and snacks.”

She thinks he buys it, everything she said was true.  It’s just, well, Darcy’s never been a fainter or the sort of suffer from low blood sugar.  He lets it go though and presses a kiss to her forehead, refusing to let her go.  She’d honestly too tired to fight him on it even is she did want to keep some space between them. 

She wakes up as they get on the Jet.  Bucky must have carried her from the cabin and she worries a little that she doesn’t remember that part.

Tony presses some chocolate bars and a bottle of coke into her hands when she’s sitting and she smiles gratefully, before tearing into them.  She really was so hungry.

It’s not good for her, especially if she’s eating for two, but she’s too hungry and tired to care right now.  Her brow furrows as she reminds herself it’s not real till she see’s two lines on a test, then shoves the thought down.  They’d be back at the Tower soon enough and once she’s showered and changed and had something to eat she’s going hunting and when she catches Rogers she’s going to give him a piece of her mind.  Then she’ll wait for Bucky to give her an answer before doing the test sitting in the drawer by the bed.  She had steps, plans, an order of doing things, all the things.

She just has to get home first.

 

* * *

 

 

Back at the Tower he hovers round her the whole way down to the apartment like a mother hen.  She both hates and loves it.  Hates it because he still hasn’t brought up what they talked about last night and loves it because yeah, this is exactly how he’s going to be when she tells him, you know if, it turns up she is in the family way. 

One she’s showered and changed she find him in their tiny kitchen making tomato soup and grilled cheese.  It is exactly what she needs.

“How are you feeling?”

He feels worried about her, uncomfortable because there’s something wrong, even if she won’t tell him what it is.  He knows she’s still annoyed at him and he also knows he doesn’t want to keep her waiting for too long to give her an answer.  The problem is he still feels torn. 

She takes a seat at the counter and he slides the soup over and places a plate of grilled cheese on the counter between them.

“I’m better after the shower, just hungry and tired….  Are you okay… you’re shoulder, is it better?”

She should have asked this morning, but she was still too busy being mad at him them.

“It feels fine, a little stiff, but I think the hole’s sealed up.”

“Good, good….  Just as well the kit had those dissolving sutures, it would have been a bitch to pick the stitches out, with how fast you heal…..”

Oh god, could she be any more awkward?  She hates this feeling, like she has to watch what she says, the knot in her belly growing every minute more that passes without him talking to her, telling her what’s he’s thinking.  She wants to burst into tears and yell….  Hormones, it was probably hormones.  She had to get a hold of herself.  She tucks into the meal and they continue the strange foreign silence between them

He hates seeing her like this.  Unsure of what to say to him, he knows she’s been all over the map emotionally today, angry, annoyed, affectionate, concerned….  She’s back at pissed off again now.  She’s not usually so moody, but he’d dropped that news on her last night and then she’d panicked, he could see than now, with the hours between then and now.  Panicked and told him to make a choice.  And ultimatum that said choose me forever, no backing out or lose me.  It should be a simple choice and two months ago he’d have pulled the damned ring out of his gun locker and asked her.  He’d wanted to wait till after Janes wedding to ask her. 

“Are you eating that?” 

Bucky looks up from where he was staring into the soup.  Darcy is pointing at his bowl.  He’s honestly not hungry right now and he slides it over with an apologetic smile.

She finishes up eating Bucky’s bowl and decides she’s fortified enough to go beard the eagle in his nest.  When Bucky mutters about going to take a shower she slips out of the apartment and heads in the direction of Steve’s place, one floor up.

 

* * *

 

 

She knocks impatiently on the door.  Mentally riling herself up for this.  He had no right.  None.

“Darcy!”  he smiles at her, happy to see her back and safe.  She pushes by him, into the apartment and marched through to his living room.

He follows behind her, confusion in his face, making her feel like she’s about to kick a puppy.

“You’re an asshole.”

His jaw drops in surprise at her words and her tone.  She’s furious with him.

“You had no right to interfere in my relationship….”

“Darcy…”

“No!  you do not get to interrupt.  I have things I have to say.  You are going to sit your ass down and listen”

She points to the chair and waits till he sits, pacing in front of him while she gathers her thoughts together.

She can see from the look in his face that he’s figured out why she’s there.

“First of all, I don’t know what you think was going on between us before you brought Bucky back here, but it was never anything more than friendship to me.  I was not your potential girlfriend, I wasn’t your potential anything.”

His mouth shut and she noted the tick at the side of his jaw as he held back from speaking.

“Second, my personal safety is no one’s concern but mine.  I’m a big girl and I can look after myself just fine.  Bucky would never hurt me, ever.  He loves me and so does his alter ego.  The Winter Soldier has never been a threat to me, he protects me.  If Hydra do ever get their hands on Bucky, reprogram him?  I’m pretty sure the only one with a chance of getting out of that clusterfuck alive will be me.  Because he loves me.  Both sides of him do and you have made him question himself, question my safety, question his own integrity…..  you had. No. Fucking.  Right!”

Steve flinched at every punctuated word.  She had never spoken to anyone like this before, but then no one had ever violated her privacy like this before either.  That someone outside her private relationship could think they have the right to say the things he said….  And for her to allow it?  Never in a million years would that ever be okay.

“Thirdly.  How could you stoop so low as to imply Bucky was using me for sex?  Is that what you think of me?  That I’d let myself be used like that?  Do you think I value myself that little?  Do you really see your friend, the man you defended to the hilt three years ago…. do you really believe him capable of that, seriously?  Have you bothered to learn anything about who he’s become in the past seventy odd years or do all your memories of him remain static, can you not see that he isn’t Bucky Barnes, Brooklyn skirt chaser, and hasn’t been since he put on a uniform and marched to war? You need to get your head out of your ass and apologise properly and put to bed any cockamamie fantasy you had where there is any world in which I would have chosen to date you.  Because there isn’t.”

He’s still just sitting there, looking vaguely rebellious while she feels about a half a breath from passing out.  Whether from anger and rage or because of the incubating she was currently, probably, doing she couldn’t tell.  She took a seat on the coffee table and put her head in her hands, breathing deeply, trying to calm herself.

“Darcy….  Are you…”

“Shut up Steve, I’m not finished, I just need a minute.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She shot him a nasty look for the sass.  Then she spoke again, but there was something different in her voice this time, it was positively arctic, her face darkened as she regarded him, blue eyes like ice chips.

“I don’t know what you feel about me and frankly, right now, I don’t care.  What I care about is my relationship.  If Bucky leaves me out of some misguided sense of protection, because of the lies and doubts you put in his head I will never forgive you.  Do you understand?  If you have taken the best thing in my life away from me, I will make it my life’s mission to destroy you utterly.”

She means every word, her voice is thick with bitter anger and loathing but she delivers it so calmly it becomes unnerving.  Her words leave Steve chilled to the bone.  No one had ever threatened him so thoroughly and meant it.

She stands and goes to leave.

“Darcy…  I’m sorry.”

She stops and doesn’t turn, just pauses for a moment.

“I don’t give a fuck about how sorry you are Steve.  We are not friends and I don’t know if we ever will be again.  Stay away from me.”

She leaves without looking back.  She had no regrets, she said what she came to.  She stands by how she feels and what she said, he deserved every word. 

 

 

 

To be continued...

 


	21. Not A Monster (part 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Making up.
> 
> I've changed the rating on this collection for this chapter specifically, it;s now rated explicit.

 

 

 

 

 

After leaving Steve’s apartment she took the elevator down to the labs.  If there was anyone in this Tower who knew what it was like to feel unable to control their inner darkness it was Bruce.  Maybe Bucky wouldn’t listen to her, maybe he couldn’t believe her words, but he might listen to the one person whose monster was more dangerous than his.

“Hey Short Stack, feeling better?”

Tony came towards her, wrench in one hand, grease covered cloth slung over one shoulder.  His eyes regarded her fondly, just a hint of concern peeking through.

“I’m fine, I came to talk to Bruce, is he around?”

Tony nodded.  “He’s down in lab three, running some experiments.  You can wait in here for him.”

Darcy frowned at the casual way he said it.  It was too relaxed, too…  coaxing.  Why would he not want her to go down to the other lab?

“It’s fine, I just have to ask him something real quick.”

Tony stepped in front of her and shook his head. 

“You need to wait here for him.  He’s using x-ray equipment down there, you don’t want to expose yourself to that right now.”

“What?”

Tony sighed and led her over to the beat-up coach he kept in the lab and sat her down, shoving a bowl of blueberries into her hands.

“Eat, you’re still looking a little peaky.  You’ve been making mad dashes for the toilets for weeks now kid, you can’t look at some of Bruce’s lunch choices without going green and you’ve fallen asleep at your desk nearly every day for the hour before lunch.  You also used the internal order service that Jarvis organises, he flags anything that could compromise the health and safety of personnel in the labs.”

A wave of embarrassed understanding swept over her.  he knew, about the pregnancy test, about the possibility of her being….  Yeah.

“Oh….”  She bit her lip before popping a blueberry in her mouth. “I haven’t even taken a test yet….”

Tony gave her an incredulous look, pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head.

“Are you kidding me?  You’ve had it for nearly two weeks.”

“I know.  But everything just went weird and strange and Steve and Bucky weren’t talking and then there was the running for my life and ….  What am I meant to do?  I think he’s going to leave me.  He let things Steve said to him…  things that are big fat dirty lies….  He thinks he’s going to hurt me.  I think he might actually leave me for my own good.  Have you ever heard anything so stupid?  If I had wanted a noble, self-sacrificing, sanctimonious idiot I would have picked Steve not Bucky.”

Tony sat stunned at her sudden verbal break down and the tears that had flooded out, and patted her back awkwardly.

Oh god she thought, as Tony passed her a cloth. She had just blurted it all out, to Tony of all people, she was a mess, a hormonal, hysterical mess! 

“Ahh, Jarvis, help me out here.  Override privacy protocol six please.”

Darcy sniffed into the cloth and scowled at him.

“I knew it.  You are such a Big Brother.”

“Yeah, Orwell’s got nothing on me.  But seriously, I wouldn’t do this unless I had to.  You falling apart like this, it’s not natural.  So, lets both find out exactly what happened, yeah?”

Jarvis brought up the footage from the night of Janes wedding and let it play.  Bruce entered the lab just as the argument started, watching with a sort of stunned detachment until it was finished.

“Nice parting shot. Bet that burned.”  Tony commented lightly when it was finished.  “So, Bruce baby, what do you think?”

Bruce frowned, pulling off his glasses and rubbed them absently on the edge of his lab coat.

“Well…  I think some of what Steve said, while technically true was said out of anger and jealously.  Has something happened between you and Barnes?”

“She thinks he’s going to leave her for her own good.”

Bruce made an ahh and shook his head.                   

“Well, that’s not good.  I know there’s been no actually studies that 100 percent supported the theory, but stress really isn’t good for you in your condition, especially after being on the run for five days and the no doubt limited meals you had.  You’re looking awfully pale.  Have you been down to medical yet for a check-up, you really should?”

Darcy threw up her hands.

“Jesus Christ, does everyone know?”

“It was a secret?”  He asked stupidly, popping his glasses back on.

“She hasn’t taken the test yet.”  Tony piped up, heading over to wash his hands.  “I’ll take her down to medical now and you go talk to that idiot boyfriend of hers.  And I take it we’re not telling him yet about the bat in the cave?”

“Bat in the cave?  Really, that’s what you’re going with?”

Tony shrugged.  “It has vague superhero connotations, so I went.”

“No, I don’t want to tell him yet.  Not…  I don’t want that to factor into his decision.  He should stay because it’s the right thing to do, because he loves me more than he fears hurting me or losing me, not because he’s obligated to.”

“Alright, I’ll go talk to him.”

“Thank you, Bruce.”

He nodded and left the lab, Darcy still wiping at her eyes. 

“Okay let’s go Double D, before I have to start calling you Double G.”

Darcy elbows him in the side for the comment but smiles.  It was nice to have her friends so concerned.

 

* * *

 

 

 

True to his word Tony took her down to medical and then left at her insistence.  The Doc was good, didn’t ask too many questions and she put off the idea of letting them do an ultra sound, there was no immediate need, she was healthy enough, if a bit tired.  The Doc had insisted on doing the pregnancy test, but Darcy refused to let the doc tell her anything.  She couldn’t deal with the concrete knowledge just yet.  The Doc humoured her and made her wait while she ran some blood tests.

When she finally left, it was with a mostly clean bill of health, an appointment to return in a week and a prescription of iron tablets for the anaemia cause by her probable sprog. 

She had just stepped into the elevator when Natasha slipped in the doors.  Darcy nearly jumped in fright, damn the woman was stealthy, where the hell had she come from?

 

“What are you doing down here, is the baby alright?”

Darcy repressed the urge to scream.  Was everyone in the Tower aware of her predicament? 

“Ixnay on the yaba!”

Nat wrinkled her nose in confusion

“I’m not ready yet.”  She relents.

“Okay, taboo on that for now...  but you’re alright, right?” 

The red head stares her down, daring her to lie.  Darcy rolled her eyes, there was no way she was going to make it through nine months of overly concerned superhero’s if this was an indication of how everyone was going to react to the news.

“I’m fine.  Honest.  Just tired and in need of a few extra calories and plenty of water and these," she shook the iron tablets. "Doc said I was slightly anaemic, nothing to worry about, a little rest and I’ll be right as rain.”

Natasha narrowed her eyes then nodded, seemingly satisfied that Darcy was telling the truth.

“I’ll walk you back to your apartment anyway.  We should see about getting you a tracker and I’ll have your security team informed of your medical condition, discreetly.”

Darcy throws her hands up and gives in.  There was no point in arguing and she allows Nat to walk to the door.

She returns to an empty apartment, strips her clothes off and pulls on one of Bucky’s old t-shirts.  She’ll think about all the crap tomorrow, she’s too tired to care right now.  She climbs into the bed and pulls Bucky’s pillow towards her, cuddling into it and breathes in his scent. 

 

* * *

 

 

Bruce eventually finds Bucky up on the roof.  The man is leaning on the barrier, looking down at the city below.  James Barnes might be older, but in years lived, dealing with the kind of fear of yourself that he has, he’s ahead of the other man by at least a decade.  He’s been where he is now.  He made a mistake, let his need to protect Betty drive him away from her.  He regrets that, thinks sometimes that they could have had something real, he never gave it the chance.  If Barnes walked away from Darcy now it would be a greater tragedy.  No one could have missed the two of them falling in love.  It had been plain for anyone to see.  It hadn’t been something he would have predicated, the tiny bubbly Darcy Lewis, colourful and loud with the dark broody and murderously dangerous Winter Soldier following her around like a baby duckling, but it had happened. 

“Darcy send you to talk to me?”

Bruce snorted. 

“Well I didn’t come up here for the view.”  He paused for a moment before making his way over to stand beside him.  “Darcy told us what happened with Steve.”  He decided to leave out the part where Tony had over-rode security protocols and accessed the actual footage. 

Bucky sighed, still looking out at the city.  The irony of the situation he found himself in had him smiling bitterly.

“You know, this is the first time I had a problem and couldn’t go talk to Steve about it.”

“I’m sorry.  To be honest I’m not that great at listening to people’s problems, usually I wouldn’t go near this sort of thing with a ten-foot barge pole.  Here’s the thing though, there’s a friend of mine, down stairs, getting her heart broken and I want to help her.  She didn’t tell me to talk you round or convince you of anything, just to talk to you.  And it worries me, because that woman down there doesn’t like other people fighting her battles for her.  Yet somehow, this time, she doesn’t feel she can do it.  Could you tell me why that is?”

Bucky knows exactly why.  Darcy’s afraid to push him into making a promise. She thinks that because of what he feels about her that she has too much influence on his agency.  It had freaked her out back in the beginning, the way he would cave to her demands, even when he didn’t like doing something that made him uncomfortable.  She felt she was taking advantage once she understood that he would force himself to do things with her he didn’t want to if it made her happy.  He’d got better since then, at learning how to say no again, to voice his discomfort.  Even now, with the Doc in front of him he felt that rush of love for her well up.  She was still determined to look out for him even as she waited for an axe to fall.  He tells as much to Banner, as shortly as possible. 

They stay in silence for a while before Bucky speaks again.

“I’m scared that everything Steve said was true.  But it’s more than that…  I worry I’m going to wake up one morning and find I’ve hurt her, that the Soldier’s slipped his chains and taken her from me.  I don’t know how to fix that, how to control it. I don’t want to leave her, but she won’t promise to go if I slip up.  I can’t stand the thought that I could harm her.  It twists me up inside.  I can’t lose her like that.”

Bruce nods, it made sense, the lack of agency, the lack of control, the fear of the programming re asserting itself.

“Life isn’t a series of events that can be scheduled into place, you can’t predict what happens next.  You can’t let the fear of what could happen, dictate what can happen.”

 

“Even if it means I could hurt her….  kill her, all because there’s a part of me I can’t control?”

 

“No one of is in control of anything, not really.  It’s all just a pleasant lie we tell ourselves, so we sleep better.  You don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow.  There could be an alien invasion, there could be terrorist attacks, natural disasters….  The list is endless.  You think you can protect those you love by keeping distance?  You can’t.”

 

“But she’d be safe, from me.  If I snapped…  killed her…  She should get to live a long life, a happy one.  What if he hurts her…?  kills her?”

 

“What if he doesn’t?  She could walk out into the street and be killed by a bus, run off the road by drunk driver, shot in a corner store buying a pint of milk.  And you’re forgetting, she spends between eight and fourteen hours in these labs alongside us every day.  We use dangerous chemicals and machines.  Jane could make one tiny slip up and Darcy would be reduced to her molecular pattern and turn to dust.  Hell, Hulk could kill her by accident if I triggered here in the building.”

“It’s not the same, you have some control over it...”

“You know, I really don’t.  Hulk isn’t something I can plan for.  Just like the Winter Soldier isn’t something you can plan for.  That darkness inside?  The Soldier?  He’s not going to go away, he’s part of you.  You can‘t escape him anymore than I can escape Hulk.”

“What if Steve’s right what if I’m fooling myself.  What if I’m just using her?  What if I’m just as selfish as he said.?”

“Jesus he really did a number on you didn’t he.  I’ve seen you Barnes, you’re crazy in love with her.  Are you selfish for wanting to be happy?  I don’t think so, if you are, then so is everyone else.  Look, even a blind man could tell you love her, you’re both passionate intense people who have fallen hard for each other.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  For what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re a danger to her and I don’t think you’re being selfish.  You step back now, and they win.  They take one more thing away from you.  My advice?  Don’t let them.  This crisis of faith you’re having right now, it’s because part of you it still afraid to be happy.  Don’t let Steve’s jealousy ruin your relationship with Darcy.  Step back and really think about it.  If it had never happened, where would you be right now?”

“I’d be in bed with my girl.”

“And I’d be in bed with mine. Instead we’re both out here freezing out asses off in the middle of the night.  There are no guarantees in life Barnes, some things we gotta take on faith and that girl of yours, she’s got enough for the both of you.  Get your ass back down there and fix this or the next person knocking on your door will be Stark and none of us want that.”

“Thanks Doc.”

He waited till Bruce left the roof before leaving himself.  He had someone he had to talk to.

 

* * *

 

 

He found Steve locking up his apartment, a duffle bag over one shoulder when he made it down to his floor.

“Bucky.”

“Where you going Punk?”

Steve shrugged and set the bag down. “I’m going to stay upstate for a while.  Get my head out of my ass.”

“Darcy been by then.”

“Like a whirlwind.”

“Yeah, she’s a ball buster. You make it out intact?”

Steve snorted. “She set me straight, cut me down real good.  Wasn‘t nothing I didn’t have coming.  I was an asshole to you.  You didn’t deserve it.  I was wrong and I’m sorry for that.  I never… I didn’t ...  fuck.  Look, I can’t explain it, but I am sorry for what I said.  I was being a selfish jealous jerk.  You didn’t deserve the shit I unloaded on you.  I know you would never hurt her, neither part of you.  Don’t fuck up the best thing you’ve ever had because I couldn’t keep my shit together after I had too much to drink.”

“You’re right, I shouldn’t and I’m not going to.  I’m sorry you felt like I got things you didn’t.  I never meant to make you feel that way when we were kids.”

“You didn’t, it wasn’t your fault.  We were both young and you always looked out for me.  I guess I didn’t realise how much I had wanted to be like you back then.  Everything seemed to come easy.  You had your health, your Ma and Pa and your sisters, every dame in Brooklyn ready to walk out with you if you so much as sneezed at them.  Hell, it’s why I stuck around so long to save your ass, no one could say no to you.”

Bucky laughed at that.

“You’re full of shit Rogers.”

“Learned it from the best.”  He replied with a half-smile.

“Keep outta trouble up there.”

“Go put a ring on that girl of your Barnes and let me know when the wedding is.”

“You still gonna be my best man?”

“Well I’m not gonna be your best girl.”

“Punk.”

“Jerk.”

The seemed to move at the same time.  Both them going in for the hug, something they had done countless times. 

“You’re my best friend Bucky.  I hope you can forgive me, eventually.”  Steve bit out as he held him.

“I think one bust up in a century can’t be grounds for ending it, do you?  I forgive you, don’t worry about it.  We’ll get past it, I just need a little time.”  He told him, stepping back and handing him up the duffle.  “Don’t be stranger.”

“Not that easy to get rid of.  Will you tell Darcy I’m sorry?”

Bucky nods and lets his friend leave, the air clearer between them.  It’s time to go home.

 

* * *

 

 

She hears him come and pulls herself out of bed, it’s nearly three in the morning.  She feels rested, she’d been sleeping for almost six hours.  She stands at the bedroom door and watches him.  He’s leaning over the breakfast bar, a glass of water in front of him.  He knows she’s there, his shoulders tense and silent pause before he speaks twists her insides into knots.

“I don’t deserve you...”

He feels like a fraud.  He had never been a good guy.  Not the way others were.  He’d been young and selfish once.  And after, when they took him and changed him, he’d become a monster.  The blood on his hands was real, whether he had wanted it or not, it existed.  She was everything right in a world gone wrong.  Innocent in ways he’d forgotten.  He craved her presence, her laughter, her joy in life. 

The words rang in her ears like a death knell.  ‘I don’t deserve you’… Is that what he really thought?  That people got what they deserved?  If they did, if the world worked that way, they wouldn’t be having this conversation now.  She just had to make him see it.

“I’m not some gift or reward.  I’m a person.  The world didn’t give me to you.  I chose you.”

He had to listen to her.  Right now, the possibility of him leaving was directly in front of her and she became as selfish as she knew she was.  She was going to fight for him, it hurt too much to give up without making herself heard first.

“Even after everything I’ve done?  Why?  You deserve better than me.”

Darcy shook her head.  God he was stubborn and blind, and this self-hatred was a problem.  Probably not one that would ever completely resolve itself.  Not that it mattered in the grand scheme of things.  Love meant standing by someone, even when they didn’t want you to, even when they hated who they were.  It was giving strength and comfort when your person needed it most.

“I don’t think people _deserve_ things.  It’s not like life rewards us for hard work and good deeds.  If people were given what they deserve, the evil in the world would be gone, leaving good people untouched by darkness.  And maybe it’s not about what you deserve.  Maybe you’re right and it’s about what I deserve.  What do you think I deserve?”

There was a half a room separating them, she moved closer, keeping her eyes fixed on his face.

“You deserve the world, you deserve everything.”

Why did that sound like an apology?  No if he does this, if he leaves, she’s not sure she wants an apology, because that means she has to forgive him and she can’t, not for this.  Not for leaving her.  The next words she speaks hold a hint of the turmoil and anger that is growing within her with each step towards him.

“For a smart guy you can be kinda dumb.  You are my world, you are my everything.  You want to give me the world, give me everything?  It’s so simple…  all I need and want…  it’s just you, by my side, always.”

She stops just a few steps away from him, her legs feeling weak and shaky.  Oh god, don’t pass out now, not now. 

“I could hurt you.  I could kill you.”

It was the stark and ugly truth.  One they both knew.  One they had both ignored for all of the time they had been together.

“I know.”

There was nothing in her tone but hard acceptance.  She understood exactly what could happen.  It didn’t change anything for her, he could see that.

“The things Steve said…”

She stops him with sharp movement, her hand flaring in anger, and opens her mouth to vehemently refute anything and everything Steve might have thought or said or implied.

“ _No one_ tells me how I live my life, _no one_ tells me who I love, especially not some vindictive prehistoric Neanderthal that thinks I owe him because I was nice to him once and definitely not the universe, and I'm not gonna let someone else's idea of right and wrong stop me from loving you or being with you or building a future with you because you are my life.”

Bucky grabbed her hands placatingly.  She could feel the burn of tears filling her eyes as she panicked.  What if she couldn’t make him listen?

“Hey, hey, it’s okay…  I know Doll, I know…  don’t cry.  I was going to say that the things Steve said…  they messed with my head because they were already there.  He didn’t say things I didn’t already wonder myself.”

“None of it’s true, it’s all damn dirty lies…”  she told him fiercely.  He wanted to kiss her for that, for her need to defend him, even against himself.  Instead he looked steadily into her eyes and placed their joined hands over his heart before he continued, voice soft but sure.

“And maybe I don’t deserve you, but I don’t care, because you chose me, you believed in me, when no one else did.  I’m staying, not because I think you’ll be safe with me, I know you’re not, but because I’m just selfish enough to want to keep the best thing that’s ever happened to me from ever leaving.  I don’t want to give up on us because I fear the unknowable.  I don’t want this, us, to end.”

What was he saying?  Was he saying what she thought he was?  Her heart began pounding in her chest from the anticipation. 

“I want to stay.  I want to grow old with you and fight with you and argue about who’s turn it is to do the dishes.  I want you fussing when I get hurt and telling me off when I’m being stupid.  I want screaming arguments and I want us to _fuck_ each other happy again after.  I want you, I want this, I want us.  I’m not going anywhere, I’m staying because I can’t live the rest of my life wondering what we could have had if I had just taken the chance to let you love me.”

Darcy could have cried at his words, he wasn’t leaving her.  The massive weight of dread which had hovered over her or two days had finally lifted. 

“I don’t ever want to feel like that again, you can’t do that to me again, okay?”

I promise, I’m so sorry for putting you through this Darce, I never wanted to hurt you like this. I love you so damn much.”

“I love you too, I don’t have the words to tell you how much….”

He silenced her with a soft kiss, and she stood on tip toes and wound her arms around his neck, melting into it, seeking his tongue with hers.  Then his mouth opened under hers and he lifted her up, her legs locking around his hips.  Bucky moaned into her mouth and then painted a line of kisses along her jaw and down her neck.

“Bucky…  bedroom, now.  You promised…”

“Promised what sugar?”  he smiled into her neck and scraped his teeth against her skin.  She jerked and tightened her legs, hissing out a half laugh half gasp.

“That you’d fuck me happy.”

“I’m not just going to fuck you happy, Baby-doll, I’m gonna make you fly, and then I’m gonna fly with you.”

The playful lust driven tone turned darker and a little possessive.  Darcy shivered and held back the whimper his words provoked as she felt the curl of need low in her belly.

“Please Bucky…”

“Tell me what you want baby…”

“I want you.”

 

* * *

 

 

He lay her on the bed gently once their clothes were gone, leaning over her, kissing and touching, marking a path down her chest, pausing to roll her nipple between his lips and making her curse and arch into his mouth as he flicked his tongue around the taut peak.

His hand drifted up over her rib cage and between the valley of her breasts, smoothing along her collar bone before circling over the top of her breast and taking her in his hand, lifting the weight of it and squeezing gently.

God it felt so good, his hot mouth sucking and licking his way down her body.  If there was a way, she could keep them here in this moment forever, she’d do it, it felt so good to have him touching her, loving her.  He kissed down her stomach and then gently parted her legs, drawing circles into the skin of her inner thigh.  He placed a hand under her hips and lifted her up, slipping a pillow under her for elevation.  She looked at him in question.

“Trust me sweetheart?”

She nodded, of course she trusted him, her breathing picked up in expectation, the look in his eyes as he gazed up at her, sinful and full of promise.  He lowered himself between her legs, kissing her skin between muttered words of praise.  The first swipe of tongue had her hips lifting from the bed, he placed a wide hand across her belly, holding her down gently, the pillow keeping her angled upward.

He drew it out, teasing flicks and nips and soothing strokes with the flat of his tongue, leaving her breathless and moaning, urging him on.  Her hand came down to tangle in his hair, gripping his dark locks tight, showing him where she wanted him.  He hummed into her skin, she could feel as his lips curled up in a smile before his tongue darted out to lap against her entrance before delving into her core.  The sensation had her stilling, barley breathing as he fucked her slowly with long purposeful strokes. 

“Bucky…... Bucky…. oh god…. I’m so close… “

She almost cried when he stopped but he pushed into her with two fingers, his lips closing around her swollen clit, thrusting and sucking in tandem.  The orgasm rushed over her fast as her pussy clamped around him, he kept going, fucking her with his fingers, drawing it out then curling up and pressing at the spongy tissue of her g-spot, triggering another, more intense wave to sweep through her, her voice calling his name wantonly as her back arched and her toes curled, breath ragged as stars burst behind closed lids.  He didn’t stop, lapping at her through the pleasure until she lay boneless and sated, his name still whispering from her lips.

When she opened her eyes and looked down, she found him, head pillowed on her thigh, watching her with an indulgent smile, his mouth glistening from her release.  He crawled up her body, pausing place kisses on her stomach and breasts before reaching her lips and sinking into a heady, filthy kiss.  She could taste herself on his tongue as she nibbled on his bottom lip, sucking it into her mouth, making him groan, bringing his weight down against her body, the hard planes of his chest and belly flush with hers.  She could never have her fill of him, always wanting more, needing more.  The hard evidence of his desire for her lay heavy between her legs.  Just the feel of him there, hot and thick, had her lifting her hips in invitation, the slide of him between her fold making her whimper breathlessly.  The anticipation building again as she reached for him, guiding him into her slickness, coating his shaft with her desire before urging him to claim her.

Sinking into her felt like coming home, her tight heat pulling him in, god he loved her.  Every breath that stuttered, every enticing whimper she made encouraging him as he held back from pounding into her.  Fuck he wanted to, wanted to drive into her fast and hard, take pleasure in her body as she surrendered to him so prettily.  He rolled his hips, as he worked her open for him, her body accepting him inch by silken soaken inch. He loved how wet she was for him, how she had chanted his name so brokenly while he ate her out, tasting her sweetness as it gushed out of her.  He wanted to wreck her, ruin her, make her fly so high from the pleasure he could give her that she would come undone beneath his hands and his cock.

 

He filled her deliciously with his hard length, muttering curses into her skin as he bottomed out.  Darcy felt the burn as he stretched her to her limit, his cock reaching places she had never felt before.

He nipped and kissed down her throat as he flicked her nipple with one finger over and over, sending thrills of pleasure straight to her centre.  She whimpered and called him name, begging for him to move but he stayed still as she tensed and arched beneath him, trying to rub her clit against the base of his cock.  She had never felt so full, it ached in the best way.  He continued his game, teasing her, encouraging her rock into him, leaving only enough room for her to gain enough pleasure from the press of their bodies, keeping her on the edge of orgasm, playing her like an instrument. 

“Please, move, I…  need you… to move…”

“Not yet pretty girl just trust me, I promise I’m going to make you feel so good.  I need you to relax, okay?  Just let everything go, let me take care of you.”  The whispered words in her hair thrilled her, the promise he made building the desire in her centre. 

He ran a hand from the back of her thigh to cup the back her knee and lifted her leg high on his hip, the angel allowed him to slide deeper within her and she cried out at the sudden invasion.  The head of his cock bumping against her cervix with each little squirm she managed, and she panted trying to force him even deeper.  It hurt a little, a stinging, but it was far outweighed by the overwhelming wave of new pleasure that was building deep in her belly.  Surging up, pulling every muscle tight from the back of her thighs, over her hips, which began the jerk desperately, and across her abdomen.  She couldn’t fucking breath from the feeling of exquisite torture snaking through her, coiling tightly even as her walls began to pulse and clench around his shaft.  This was new, different, she had never had an orgasm like it, it was slow and strong, not the sudden drop from a cliff, it was like being in freefall.  Wave after wave of mind-numbing bliss, sending her higher each time she took him in a little more, before something inside her seemed to beak and she wailed his name, chanting it over and over, sobbing out her release as he watched her hungrily, telling her how good she felt coming around him, watching her come apart for him.   

She kept coming, her pussy continuing to clamp down on his cock as she jerked against him, reduced to incoherent babbling of how good she felt, how she loved his cock and wanted him to fuck her and never stop.  Even with the last washes of orgasm through her, he was still seated deeply inside her, hard and thick and hot.   She lay panting beneath him, the only thing she was able to do was breath and then he hitched her other leg up and….  How could it be possible that he was now even deeper, she wanted to cry from the feeling of fullness, she couldn’t tell where she ended, and he began.

“Good girl, such a good girl coming so pretty from me Doll.”

“Please…. Please…love you Bucky, please…”  she didn’t know what she was pleading for, how could it still feel so good, so right?  It was happening again, her belly beginning to tighten as the feeling rushed through her.  His voice whispering in her ear was the only thing holding her together.

“I’ve got you sweetheart, just relax, let it happen, that’s it, nice and easy, just like that” He ran his hands lightly over her skin, soft, warm strokes up her sides as the aftershocks of pleasure slowly subsided.  She let him talk her into un-bunching all the muscles at her core, her eyes rolling back as she felt him push further inside her.  He wasn’t done with her yet, her heart drummed in her chest and there wasn’t enough air in the room to fill her lungs.

“Bucky… oh god... please…. please” 

He leaned down and captured her lips with his in a wet filthy kiss and then he finally started to move, shallow thrusts, his cock hitting that place inside her with every rock of his hips.  Oh fuck, oh god, she was going to come apart again.  She couldn’t have kept quiet if she wanted to.  He felt so good, his weight keeping her from floating away as she rode the waves of pure bliss that travelled from her belly out radiating like a sunburst from head to toe and it just kept going climbing higher. each time he filled her.  She clung to him, urging him to keep going to not stop, never stop.  He was taking her apart piece by piece, one hand steady on her hip, keeping her at the perfect angle.  The last tether broke and she came with a long keening wail.

The moment she tipped over the edge he slammed into her one last time, letting himself fly with her, his body jerking as he came with a rush of pure euphoria, both of them clinging to the other as their orgasms tore through them, aftershocks jolting up his spine as he cuddled her close in his arms.  He couldn’t more and didn’t want to, buried deep inside her comforting warmth, feeling the pull as she continued to flutter around him, shaking and shivering from the overwhelming high.

 

Darcy lay in his arms, breathing him in, every inch if her skin tingled intensely.  She’d never experienced anything like it before.  What the hell had just happened?  He was nuzzled into her neck, kissing his way up to her ear, telling her all the pretty things, she closed her eyes and cleaved into his warmth.  She felt like she might float away without him to hold her here, she clung to him, feeling of love and adoration for him bubbling up.

“I love you, I love you…  oh god that was intense...  Bucky... love you so much.”  Her voice shook from the strength of her feelings, beginning to devastate her.  She felt so defenceless, so exposed and vulnerable and so full of love for him.  She could feel the tears running down her face, it wasn’t crying exactly, but she couldn’t stop. 

“Bucky……”

He leaned up on his arms, his body still holding her down, grounding her.

“I love you Baby…  I’m right here.  It’s alright, your fine.”

“I’m….  I feel so… I don’t know, I…  just hold me, please, don’t let go.”

“I’m not going anywhere Darce, I’m never gonna leave you.  I love you, l love you… I’ll say it a million, million times, I love you.”

She made a happy noise and rubbed her nose to his giving him a sweet kiss.  He was careful with her, running a hand through her hair, whispering words of love and praise to her.  She was an overstimulated mess after what he’d done to her.  When she calmed enough, he slipped out of her and reached to bring the covers over them both as she continued to hold onto him tightly, burying her face in his chest and pressing kisses into his skin as she drifted off to sleep, tiny shocks still moving through her ever so often. 

Bucky held her close, she meant everything to him.  He would love her for the rest of his life and tomorrow, tomorrow he would do what he should have done after Jane’s wedding and give her the ring, ask her properly and show her that he had meant it.  He was never going to leave her, never.

 

 

 

 

Not done yet, at least one more chapter.  To be continued tomorrow…


	22. Not a Monster (Part 4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Sleeping In
> 
> Fourth and final part of Not A Monster.
> 
> Enjoy.

 

 

 

Consciousness came slowly to Darcy.  Her body felt warm and pliant and sated. Bucky’s scent surrounded her and she smiled slowly as she became aware of the pressure of his arm curled about her waist, his hand tucked between her and the bed, cradling her rib cage as he held her against his chest.  It was nice, she felt as though everything had been put back to rights.  He was here, with her, where he should be, thank god. 

She stretched her legs out, toes pointing and back arching.  When was the last time she had felt so relaxed?  He hummed quietly behind her and nuzzled into the back of her neck as he snuggled her closer.  Darcy sighed and drifted happily back into a state of semi sleep.  Savouring his presence around her, enjoying the simple act of just being.

She felt him tighten his hold on her as he came awake, his body tense and still as he assessed where he was.  She could almost hear the gears turning in his head as he relaxed a fraction as he processed where he was and who he was with.

Darcy’s sweet scent permeated the bed they lay in, the feeling of her body, soft and warm and nestled in the cradle of his arms was one that he had almost walked away from.  The thought of what he’d almost done caused him to tighten his hold around her, he brushed back her hair and kissed her bare shoulder, his lips ghosting over her skin to the juncture of her neck.  She shivered under his touch and pressed back, her ass wiggling enticingly against him.  He groaned and ground into her feeling himself lengthening as they teased each other with every movement.  She turned in his arms and threw a leg over his hip, as their bodies moved almost instinctively, seeking the other.

They made love slowly, lazily.  Languid kisses and gentle touches building up between them, when he finally settled between her thighs and slid into her tight heat they both moaned, the remembered pleasure of the night before welling up.  Murmured words of love and praise escaped their lips as they rocked against the other, hands clasped together on either side of Darcy’s head.  The connection between them seemed more intense and complete than before. 

Ever the gentleman he waited for her to come first and they finished together, pressed tightly against one another, Darcy’s hands smoothing over his back, his head tucking into her neck, her hips held firmly between his hands, their bodies still deeply connected.

He keeps them that way, rolling over, taking her with him, Darcy boneless and limp on top of him, half moaning half giggling as she feels his cock twitch within her each time she squeezes him affectionately. 

“Hey”  he said as she lifted her head to look at him.  Darcy blinked up at him, her eyes bright and blue, filled with a gentle joy. 

“Hey.”  She whispered back.

She raised a hand to trace the line of his jaw, fingertips grazing over his stubble.  His lips twitched and the lazy grin he gave her made his eyes crinkle.  The equally lazy kiss he gifted her with sent a rush of warmth through her.  She melted into him, relishing the easy display of affection, there was no rush to it, no hurry, just them, just existing in their little bubble without worrying what came next.  He smiled into her mouth and nipped at her lips in response, she giggled a little and snuggled in closer, sighing as he tightened his hold of her.

His hand came up and begun to card through her curls slowly.  She watched him as he concentrated on tugging the strands straight, his bottom lip caught between his teeth.  The sensation as her hair shifted and moved under his fingers turned her into a shuddering puddle, her mind drifted and her body went boneless against him as she moaned in satisfaction.

She felt the quite amusement at her reaction when he snorted at her antics, she giggled a little before he shifted his grip on the strands, sending shivers down her back and bringing another sigh of pleasure to her lips.

“You’re like a cat.”  He drawled, his voice filled with warm delight.

“Mmhmm, don’t stop. So good.”  She could feel her brain turning to mush.  Darcy felt more than heard the deep rumble through his chest as he continued until she was half sleeping again from the sheer blissful lassitude of it all. 

“Come on, we can’t sleep all day.”  He finally says, rubbing small circles down her back with his thumb.

“Bleh, do we have too?”  her stomach gurgled and she frowned in consternation.  Traitorous digestive system she thought sourly.  “What time is it?”

Bucky reached for his phone and showed her the time.  They had slept the whole morning away it was nearly noon.

He urged her off him and she whimpered at the loss of warmth.

“Come on, go have a shower and I’ll get breakfast started and the coffee on.”

Darcy grumbled unhappily.  She would have been perfectly content to stay in bed the whole day.  She sat up when he left the bedroom and waited for the inevitable rush of nausea as she stood up.  Not breaking her momentum, she made it to the bathroom to empty what little there was in her stomach, mostly bile.

She brushed her teeth first before going back into the bedroom to find a towel.  There’s no point in putting it off anymore she knows what it will say but she can actually face seeing it now.  She grabs the test from the drawer and retreats to the bathroom.

She follows the instructions and sets the plastic wand on the vanity.  She is not going to sit here worrying for two minutes, she’ll take a quick shower and look at it after.

Standing in the shower she contemplates how she’s going to break the news to him.  She doesn’t think he’ll freak out too much, but it’s not like it’s a situation either of them have been in before.  She doesn’t want to put it off too long, she has to tell him today.  So she gathers her courage and steps out of the shower, ready to face her future and the two blue lines that she finds waiting for her.

 

* * *

 

 

The kitchen has been fully stocked while they were away so it doesn’t take long to get everything ready.  He’s just finished up and put the pancakes on the table when his phone goes off.  He swears quietly to himself.  Back a day and half and already there’s problems piling up.  He writes a short note for Darcy and goes to deal with the situation.

 

* * *

 

 

There was no way to deny it now.  It was real.  She was pregnant.  The acknowledgment was a furious mixture of feelings.  Excited, happy, nervous, worried.  A baby.  She was going to have a baby.  

Darcy rushed through to the kitchen.  She’d tell him now and they could talk over breakfast.  It would be great., it would be fine.  Except she got out there and he was no where to be seen.  She spotted the note on the table.

**_Gotta go down to security, there was a breach last night and no one flagged it till the shift change at 11.  I’ll be back as soon as I can.  JBB xxx_ **

She sunk into the chair and felt like the wind had just been knocked out of her sails.  But it was fine, readjust her plans.  She’d tell him later.  She tucked into the pancakes and sent him and short text.

**Thanx for breakfast.  Love you Bucky-Bear, xxx**

 

* * *

 

 

The day gets worse from there.  It’s like a comedy of errors and miscommunication.

Bucky finishes off in the security office, getting everything sorted out and having to write up a reprimand for the officer that overlooked the initial breach last night.  He makes his way back to the apartment an hour and half after leaving.  Darcy’s gone by the time he gets back and it’s only then he thinks to check his phone. 

**Went down to the lab.  Had to supervise some delivery’s for Jane.  She’s not back till next week but her new telescope is being installed.  See you for late lunch?  2:30 in our spot?**

He checks the time, he’s got twenty minutes.  He has just enough time to take a shower before they meet back up.

In his hurry to shower and change, he completely misses the plastic wand on the vanity and he’s ready and out the door fifteen minutes later.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Darcy juggles a pile of paperwork and three lunch order’s carefully.  Two of the interns were off sick with a stomach flue that was going around and she just couldn’t leave Tony and Bruce in the lurch like that.  She had about ten minutes to get to her and Bucky’s spot on the roof balcony for their late lunch.  She drops off the delivery with Tony and places the paperwork on Peter’s desk and runs off with a quick wave.

“Darcy!”  She stops mid step and finds Natasha baring down on her. 

“Hey Nat, what’s up”

She smiles as happily as she can.  She hates being late for things, especially as she’s the one to set this lunch date up.

“Here, I got this for you.  It’s a tracker, I want you to wear it from here on out.  Last week was too close, we couldn’t find you till you made contact.”

Natasha hands her a bracelet.  It looks like any standard issue medical Id bracelet, with her name and info on it and the symbol for anaemia.  She smiles thankfully.  It’s a nice thought and a good cover for a tracker.  She slips it into the pocket but Nat stops her.

“Put it on now.”  Darcy rolls her eyes but lets the other woman help her put it on.  Its cold on her wrist. 

“Now, the last clasp here at the back.  You snap and it activates the tracker.  Don’t lose it, it could save your life.”

“Yes, mom.”

“Don’t sass me, Darcy Elizabeth.”

The teasing yet serious mom tone makes Darcy want to giggle.  There wasn’t much she could say that. 

“What are you doing down here anyway?”  Darcy asks a little suspiciously.

“I’m having lunch with Tony and Bruce.”  She smiles at Darcy knowingly, like she can discern what’s going on in her brain and Darcy shuts down the sudden suspicion quickly.  She thinks back to Bucky’s short comment on not wanting to know what Nat and Tony get up to in their spare time.  This seems like a good time to start following that advice.

“Well, have fun.”

“Good luck, I’m sure it’ll go fine.”

“Wait, what?”

“You’re going to tell him now.”

“How can you possibly…”

“I know everything.” 

Darcy just nods with a sigh.  Of course she knows everything.  She probably knew the colour of Darcy’s panties today too.

“Green.”

Her eyes pop open and her mouth gapes…….  Nat smiles wickedly and leaves. 

It is too early in her day, she decides, to try and figure out how Nat can possibly know that.  Besides, she has some place to be right now and standing in an empty corridor wondering how the Black Widow knows, A, what she was thinking and B, the colour of her knickers, doesn't feel like a priority compared to telling Bucky that he's going to be a father.

She gets to the elevator and waits impatiently but it doesn’t come. Throwing her hands up in frustration she heads to the staircase instead, it’s only two floors up, no problem.

When she steps into the stairwell a hand claps over her mouth with a cloth, she breaths in to scream and finds herself almost paralysed, the strong smell of chloroform making her light headed.  She only manages to stamp sharply on the guys instep before she’s slung over a shoulder and taken down the stairs, away from safety.

 

* * *

 

 

Bucky waits impatiently on the roof.  He’s waited long enough to do this. Before leaving the apartment, he’d went to his gun locker and taken out the ring he’d bought months ago.  It was time for it to sit on the hand it belonged to.

He checks his phone and see a text from Darcy.

**Running a little late, had to pick up lunch for my lost boys.  Wait for me?**

He checks the time again.  It’s nearly three.  Darcy hates being late for anything, he checks the time she sent the text, forty minutes before.  Something doesn’t feel right.  He taps the com.

“Jarvis, Locate Miss Lewis please.”

There’s no response from the usually friendly and prompt AI.  It doesn’t take a genius to figure out something’s went wrong.  He’s off the balcony and down the emergency stairs to the lab area fast.

“Stark!  Jarvis is down, get him back up now!”

The panic in his voice must have told them this was more than just a malfunction.  The dots all connect up in his head.  The possible mole that gave away his and Darcy’s location last week, the security threat last night that got over looked, the earlier than scheduled telescope delivery and his girl, the love of his life missing.  He tried her phone again and it went to voice mail.  Shit, someone had taken her.  Some asshole had breached the Tower and taken her. 

Tony and Bruce surge into action.  Heading for the control panels for the Tower, Natalia marches over to him, every inch of her radiating murderous rage.

“Where’s Darcy?”

“I don’t know, we were meant to meet a half hour ago.”

“She’s been taken then.”

The share a look. 

“I saw her thirty five minutes ago, she was on her way to meet you then.  She must have been taken directly after.  They wouldn’t have used the elevators, too likely for security to notice.  That leaves the stairwells.  I’ll take east, you take west, we’ll meet at the bottom.”

He nods and they both swap out their internal security coms for the combat level encrypted coms they use on missions.  Tony and Bruce move to do the same. 

He and Nat leave just as he hears Jarvis' voice speak up to the waiting scientists in the lab.

He keeps the cold rage at the front of his mind. He can’t afford to let the blinding heat of his fear fill him right now.  He has to get her back.  It’s been a half hour since she was taken and none of them knew.  How could no one have noticed?  Who ever had planned this knew the internal schedule, the lunch break times, Darcy’s movements, where she was likely to be.  He combs the stairwell, looking for any hint of clue as to her whereabouts.  Anything to say she had been here, that this is where they had taken her from.  He meets Natalia in the lobby. 

“Nothing, you?”

“Nothing.”  He answers shortly.

“I’m called Clint and Steve, they’re getting a jet ready, they’ll be here soon.”

“Why the hell would they take her?”  He just doesn’t get it.  Why would they take Darcy and not one of the others?  Especially if they were coming into the building to get her.

He would have missed it if he hadn’t been looking directly at her.  A tiny flicker of her eyes as she looked away from him.  The tiniest tell that he knew only because he had been the one to teach her how to lie. 

He didn’t bother hide that he had seen it and she stilled, as if waiting for a blow to fall.  Six months ago he might had grabbed, her, shaken her, for the perceived betrayal, but he had better control than that.

“One chance Natalia, just one.”

“You should have been more observant, or you would already know.  She’s carrying your child.”

Natasha springs away from him as she see the light leave his eyes.  It’s uncanny and more than a little disturbing to watch as James Barnes melts away with only the flicker of a blink.  The murderous promise of cold death snapping into place.  He ignores her, moves away, back into the stairwell.

“Tony, Bruce, lock down the lab you’re in.  Winter is coming.”

The squawk from her two companions’ echoes in her ears.

“Yes, I had to tell him.  He knew there was something not right.”

“No Bruce, I’m fine.  He’s on a mission.  Everyone should keep their distance.”

“As long as we don’t get in his way, we’ll be fine.  It’s no more than we’ve suspected for a while now.  The Soldier imprinted on her.  As far as he’s concerned his handler has been taken and compromised.”

For a moment she almost feels sorry for whoever took Darcy.  They would soon be nothing more than pieces of meat and bone in the abattoir of their own making.  But then she reminds herself that she’s Russian, she doesn’t feel sorrow.  Not for those so stupid as to take the mate of the Winter Soldier.

 

* * *

 

 

She wakes in the back of a van and feels the sort of fury fill her that she feels very seldom.  She had a plan today.  There were steps.  She had fixed things with Bucky, he’d fucked her happy, she’d taken the damn test that she didn’t really need, because reasons, and now, just as she was about to tell him the news some asshole kidnapped her from the Tower.  She already knows whatever fluffy plan she had for telling Bucky the good news was now out of the window.  One of them would tell him.  They couldn’t not.  He would be tipped off from the tracker at least, there was no way Natalia would be able to keep that secret.  Her hands are bound behind her back, it’s so easy to find the false link and snap it without them noticing that she nearly laughs.  They have no idea of the shit storm about to descend on them.

She keeps an internal count on the time.  There’s no way to know how long she’d been knocked out for, perhaps as long as an hour.  But they were driving her somewhere instead of getting her onto a chopper or into some underground lab, that was a mistake.  The longer spent in transit the sorter a wait she would have once she arrived.  They can’t have gone far in the time she’s been sleeping. 

“Hey, loosers, I need to pee.” 

Lets see where that would take them.

“Shut up.”  The harsh command comes from goon with the Good Hair.  Goon with the Bad Hair just looks nervous.  Huh, a least one wet behind the ears recruit.  She looks around the van.  It’s almost disappointing.  It looks like the back of some frat house party wagon.  Old carpet on the floor. The musty smell of stale alcohol and urine.  God she’d need to disinfect herself when she got home.

All in all the whole atmosphere was unimpressive.  Their tac gear looked like something auctioned off the back of a shady policeman’s squad car.  It was mis matched and outdated.  The gun holstered at Goon with the Good Hair’s side was a monster, very not standard issue anything.  This did not feel like a standard Hydra or A.I.M kidnapping.  It was sloppy.  I mean sure, clever of them to get past Jarvis and into the building…. But…..   there was something else.  She just couldn’t put her finger on it….  Nope, wait, there it was.  Only one up front.  Unbelievable, she’d been caught off guard by a bunch of ex rent a cops.  What even is her life right now? 

“You guys are in for a world of hurt when my boyfriend busts in here.”

“I said shut up, or I’ll knock you out, skirt.”

“Skirt?  Skirt?  Do you know who you’ve taken?”

Goon with the Bad Hair reached down and tried to cover her mouth with the cloth again.  She turned her head and bit him, hard.  The startled yelp and the quickly withdrawn appendage gave her a moment to glare up at Goon one again.

“Do you even know who you’re working for?”

“We’re getting paid, that’s all that matters.”

“Look, I’ll offer you a sweet deal, stop the van, let me out and I’ll make sure you don’t end up in bite size chunks later today when my boo catches up to you.”

“You’re in no position to negotiate curly.”

“You just kidnapped the pregnant baby mama of the Winter Soldier.”

She takes an inordinate amount of satisfaction in the silence which follows her words.

She hears the unmistakable whine of the quinnjet moving in fast and grins.

“Too late”

 

* * *

 

 

 

“ETA?”

Steve checks the tracker.

“Three minutes.  They’re moving toward Pritchard Airfield.  We’ll reach them before they get there."

Behind them in the back of the jet Bucky stands stiffly, knife flipping between his fingers with chilling accuracy.  He hated seeing Bucky like this, the Winter Soldier fully in the driver’s seat.  When he had arrived to pick them up Natasha had pushed him back into the jet and given him a warning to stay in the cockpit.  He knew the script.  The Winter Soldier loathed Steve, right now he’s not sure if it’s left over programming or that the Soldier is very much aware of what was going on when he is ostensibly sleeping.  Either way, risking triggering him further was the last thing on anyone’s mind.

 

“Coming in now, we’ll be directly over them in twenty seconds.”

Natasha hits the release on the back ramp allowing the door to open.  Any plan to bring the jet down in front of the van goes out the window as Bucky dives out the opening.  Natasha swears in Russian.

“Both of you, idiots. We have parachutes for a reason.”

They hear the faint thump and groan of metal as Bucky lands a few hundred or so feet below, on the roof of the van they’re ninety percent sure Darcy’s in.

“Bring us down over there.” Natasha points out and Steve does as he’s told.

 

By the time they bring down the jet and make their way to what’s left of the van.  They find Darcy ensconced in the lap of the Winter Soldier who  has one hand cupped over he belly, a strange look of awe in his eyes. 

 

* * *

 

 

The sound of something heavy hitting the roof has Darcy scrambling back a little, into the corner.  The arm that punches a hole through the roof of the van tells her everything she needs to know.  She puts her head down and closes her eyes.  She does not want to see this.

A few minutes later she feels herself being lifted up and carried from the wreck of the van. 

Bucky is entirely silent.  She risks a peek anyway and finds the Winter Soldier looking back.  Oh, so that had happened again.  He sits down on the grass verge lowering her onto his knee. 

She’s not stupid.  She’d not going to struggle or try to get away.  If the Winter Soldier decides she’s sitting in his lap then that’s where she’ll be. 

He runs his hands over he arms and legs, checking her wrists where the wire they’d used to tie her had cut into the skin, leaving purpling welts.  He keeps this patting up for a while before he starts tugging at her shirt.

“Woah big guy, what are you looking for?”

“s rebenkom vse v poryadke?” 

She was not expecting to get an answer.  Once he had her shirt worked free he stripped the glove from his metal hand the slipped it against her belly, cupping her abdomen.  Oh…  well that was 'is the baby okay?'.. huh.

“I’m sure we’re fine Soldier.  Baby will be fine.”  She pats his arm a little awkwardly but he doesn’t move his hand.  The metal is cold against her skin, she can feel each articulated joint as he flexes it firmly over her womb.  There won’t be much for him to find.  Maybe a small hard lump low, just beginning to rise above her pelvic cradle.  He doesn’t let her go, his flesh arm is banded around her back, holding her still while the other still sits over their baby.  He stills a moment later, and she sees his eyes widen a little.  Her heart speeds up watching the change in his face.  She knows the arm is highly advanced, that it can detect heat and cold and tell temperature, but right now she gets the impression that he can somehow detect the baby’s heartbeat.  From her own calculations she’s around 9 weeks pregnant.  Was he picking up the vibrations of that tiny heart through skin and muscle and fat?  He totally was.

“ya zashchishchu tebya”  he told her, looking up at her properly for the first time. 

She didn’t need a translation to understand. “I know you will.  I know you’ll protect us both.” 

“Da.” The soft silence between them is safe.  Darcy places her hand over his.  They sit quietly, him feeling their baby’s heart beat and her watching his face.  She feels so completely overwhelmed in this moment.  She sees the instant Bucky comes back, his posture relaxes and his eyes thaw.   

“Darcy?” 

“Hey, I’m fine, I’m alright.” 

His reaction to the position they’re in is almost comical.  His eyes screw up in confusion at his hand half way down her pants, hers on top, and then his mouth drops open in shock. 

Coming back to himself is always a little jarring but this time he slips back into his head with little trouble.  Darcy is in his lap and he finds he’s got his hand placed hard against her belly.  Hers clutched comfortably atop his.  Her verbal reassurance of well-being is welcome but then he feels and interprets the data that the metrics in his arm are reading.  The fast galloping beat of a tiny heart under his fingertips. 

“Marry ME.” 

"What?” 

He digs into his pocket and pulls out a ring box, thrusting it into her hands.  She stares at it stupidly for a minute.   

“I was going to ask you after Jane's wedding and then I decided I was going to ask you today, only you got kidnapped.  And now we’re here, in the middle of nowhere and you’re having my baby and I want to marry you doll...  So say yes.  Let’s get married.”  

She throws her head back and laughs.  He just grins back at her and bumps their foreheads together.   

“Yes.  I’ll marry you.”   

He wastes no time pulling the ring from the box and putting it on her finger.  Then his hand is back, curving against her belly feeling for that elusive little heartbeat. 

“We’re having a baby Darcy.” 

“Are you happy?” 

“Doll, I couldn’t be happier.” 

And that’s how Steve and Natasha found them, smiling and kissing and Bucky's hand protectively curled over the tiny life growing within Darcy. 

 

The End.    

 


	23. Finding A Different Way (The Checkout Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: Having A Lazy Day
> 
> Ok, this is me fixing "The Checkout" Enjoy my lovelies. Cameos by Wolverine and Professor X.

 

 

 

 

New York 2030

 

The last defenders stood in the ruins of Stark Tower waiting.  They were hoping for someone.  Someone that might help them reverse the terrible tragedy that had befallen the planet. 

Sam Wilson sat against a crumbling fountain that had once been part of the lobby.  He was lost.  He’d been lost for a long time.  The family that had once formed between the Avengers in this same place had cracked and crumbled.  He was the only one left.  The others were all long dead.  He could pinpoint to the fucking hour the moment it had all went wrong.  A single senseless tragedy which had domino-ed and left the Earth vulnerable, without it’s best heroes when they had been needed most.  It had all hinged on just one woman, one life, that once gone had caused a chain of events to unfold which had doomed them all.

“We know it worked before, that there was another future, one that ended almost as badly as this.  It was averted in the same way we want to avert this.”

Sam listened with half an ear as Professor Xavier explained the plan to Jemma Simmons.

“And there is no one else who we might send back?  No one?”

“There is no one left with a healing factor strong enough to withstand the forces which will need to be exerted to send a person back far enough.  Added to that, Logan has done this before, he has the best chance of succeeding.”

“How do you know he will agree?”

“He lost something precious to him in all of this.  He’ll agree.”

“If you knew that this was possible…  I don’t understand why you did not try this plan sooner.”

Kitty Pride stepped forward, her chin lifted defiantly.

“It took me while to develop the power, I had no idea how to do it, or that I could do it.  The Professor and Logan were the only ones who knew of the possibility.”

Xavier placed a placating hand on the woman’s arm.

“When I saw how bad things were getting, I informed Kitty of the previous timeline and she started training her power in earnest, attempting to develop the ability again.  We were only successful a year ago.  Since then Kitty has successfully sent people consciousness back in time on a number of occasions.  The longest we managed to establish was a month, but it killed the person we sent back before they could alter the timeline.”

“So, we need this, Wolverine, to make it work.  Exactly how did you loose contact with him?”

Sam squirmed.  He remembered intimately why the man had taken off and he didn’t blame him, not a bit.

“It was my fault.”

“Mr Wilson, it was not your fault, I assure, Logan did not blame you for what happened.”

“I blame myself Professor, it was on me.  I was the one leading that mission.  I was the one who screwed up.  I should have died then.”

“Rogue’s death was not your fault.  She did what any team mate would do for another.  She was a brave woman and more then capable of looking after herself.  I knew her well, she wouldn’t want the weight of her death on you.”

“Maybe, but it is.  She came back for me, she saved my life and then she went back into that place and sacrificed herself to give us time to get away.  I don’t blame Logan for leaving, if it had been my wife that got killed like that, I would have shot the asshole who messed up myself.”

“Shut the fuck up.  I don’t blame you Wilson, I never did.  Just couldn’t stick around, not with her gone, I needed time.”

Wolverine stalked over the rubble towards them, a tired looking Danny Rand following him closely.

“Logan.”

“Chuck, good to see you.”

The two men embraced.

“Well, this all looks depressingly familiar.”

“The end of the world?”

Logan sighed. 

“Where are we doing this?  The city’s crawling with Skrulls.”

Sam stood and pulled out an old key card.

“This place has been abandoned for years, looted repeatedly.  But there was a sub-basement never on the plans.  Stark always was a paranoid son of a bitch.  Rhodes gave this to me before he died.  Told me it was a safe place if we ever needed a bunker.  I figured we can hole up there, we should be good for week at least, if the Skrulls don’t get wind of it.”

 

* * *

 

 

Logan sometimes wonders what he did to end up in these situations.  Twice he’s watched as the world crumbled to nothing around him.  Twice he’s watched the woman he loved either be taken from him or killed.  This time he was not going to fuck it up.  He was going to fix this.  But first he had to understand where it had all started.  Which meant talking to Wilson.  He’d told the truth earlier, he didn’t blame Wilson for Marie’s death, the woman was stubborn like mule.  There was no one gutsier, and more bull headed that he had met in his life, than his Marie, his Rogue.  It’s a little ironic he thinks, that the woman he has to save now is one who, from all accounts from Wilson, was just as stubborn and gutsy. 

“It was January 21st 2018 our girl goes to buy some milk and some kid hopped up on crystal meth holds up the grocery store.  A civvie decides to try and interfere and tackles the kid, gun goes off and when the smoke clears Darcy’s on the floor dead.  That was the beginning of the end.”

“One girl’s death caused the Avengers to implode?  What happened next?”

“We were all worried about Barnes, Steve most of all.  Darcy was seven months pregnant when she died, they were expecting a girl.  Barnes was over the fuckin moon, man, you shoulda seen it.  The guy couldn’t stop smiling he was such a proud papa to be.  He didn’t give a shit about all the teasing he got for it either.”   Sam snorted.  “Barnes was so happy and in love…  I ain’t never seena  guy so damn crazy ‘bout a girl before.  You gotta understand, I knew him _before_ he met her.  A grumpier son of a bitch I have never met.  He was the Winter Soldier, the ghost story, the bogyman that had spies and agents the word over pissing their pants at the mere mention of him.  But for her?  He woulda done anything she asked, done anything to make her happy.  She gave him a reason to really live again, to get past the things he’d been through, the things he did for Hydra.  She gave him his soul back, she took it with her when she died.  Barnes disappeared after making the funeral arrangements.  He turned up again a few days later, just in time for the funeral, said he’d had to get a few things in order.  We didn’t question it too much, the guys wife and child were dead, everyone grieves in their own way…”

Sam stops, he hates thinking about it, but it’s worse talking it through, the things that came next….

“He wouldn’t leave the grave side after.  Told us all to go.  Said he’d be going home soon, not to worry about him.  I made Steve leave him, figured he wanted a little time to say goodbye, you know?..”

Logan nods, he understands where Sam was coming from.  Grief was a tricky thing, everyone was different.  It was respectful to allow others the chance to do what they needed to make it through.

“We got back to the car, but Steve insisted there was something wrong, wanted to wait but we all convinced him to go home.  I didn’t know how right he was.   None of us did.  The next day…   The next day, cops showed up at the Tower.  Barnes had blown his brains out on top of Darcy’s grave.  Took a fucking gun and put it to his head and pulled the trigger.”

“So, the girl dies, Barnes kill’s himself…  that’s what caused…”  Logan actually stops then, unsure how to put it.

“Captain America to go on a murder spree?  Yeah.  Steve went off the deep end.  Blamed himself for not stopping him.  Blamed that junkie kid for what happened.  You know what happened next…  Steve want after the kid in Juvie and killed him, but not before getting the name of the guy he bought the gun from and every fucking dealer he’d ever bought a bag from.  He went underground after that, it was a fuckin slaughter, he took down the Kingpin’s whole organisation and then went after The Hand.  Every fucking tie he could find, that had some indirect responsibility in what led to Barnes’ death…  He wouldn’t stop.  He wouldn’t listen to anyone.  Stark refused to bring him in, said he’d tried it once and he wasn’t doing it again, said he’d have done it himself if Roger’s hadn’t.  Stark was a wreck too.  Not that we realised, till it was too late…”

Logan scowled, now this part was where he’d always been a little lost.  No one ever explained why Stark went off the reservation. 

“Why did Stark do what he did?  We’ve never been able to figure out why…  some thought he’d just finally cracked after the stress and PTSD and alcoholism… but I always wondered.  It seemed more personal than that, but as far as I know there wasn’t much love lost between him and Barnes or Rogers.”

Sam shook his head.  The man wasn’t wrong.  Steve and Barnes and Stark had had an uneasy truce.  But it had been getting better.  It had been getting better ever since Darcy had announced she was pregnant.  In retrospect that had made sense, but at the time he had never connected the two together.

“After the task force went after Rogers and killed him Stark took up where he left off.  He built another Iron Legion, this time it wasn’t for disaster relief, it was to go after every criminal in America with a gun, permit or not.  He had this AI he built run an algorithm based on the one Zola created for Project Insight.  Instead of identifying potential targets based on a threat to Hydra he had it identify every person who was likely to pick up a gun and kill someone in the future.  He went Minority Report on us and we didn’t see it coming.  It took us three years to identify where the AI’s severs were and blow it to kingdom come.  In that time the Iron Legion went on a murder spree across the States.  First it took out the criminals with guns, then it went after the criminals that didn’t have guns, then it went after any adult likely to use the gun they had to kill someone.  That last three months before we shut it down….  Well you know it went after any kid that the AI flagged as a future murderer.  The youngest was a 13 year old boy in Chicago.  When Natasha finally found Stark, he was sitting drinking with a gun in his hand.  He told her then, why he’d done it.  He said it was so no one else had to suffer the loss of a daughter and granddaughter the way he had.  Turns out Darcy was his.  He’d never told her, hadn’t known how to tell her.  Biggest regret of his life, not being there for her growing up.  But when he found out about her, he’d offered Foster the position at SI hoping Darcy would tag along.  She did, and he spend six years getting to know her, growing to love her.  I knew the two of them were close, Darcy adored Stark, the two of them got each other, same snark, same irreverence, same fucking sense of humour.  We should have seen that too.  She looked just like his mother.  He had been trying to find a way to tell her before she died and then that chance was gone for him.  A chance to be her father, a chance to be a grandfather.  After Stark confessed to Nat he did the same thing Barnes did.  Bruce and Nat took off, we never saw either of them again.  Thor and Jane went to New Asguard and Clint went back to Iowa.  Vision and Wanda left Earth with Thor and Jane, decided to go see the universe.  And then there was one.”

Logan winced.  It was a clusterfuck of a story.  All that death and tragedy because of one girl’s death.  All because some stupid kid went to rob a store.

“Tell me about the day it happened.”

“Barnes was at the Upstate facility that week.  He left on the Monday morning, he was coming back Wednesday night.  Darcy popped out to the store Wednesday morning, early hours, Jarvis said she couldn’t sleep.  It wasn’t anything she hadn’t done a million times before.  It was the same store she always went to, the one on the corner of East 42nd and Lexington.  According to the incident report the kid entered the store at 3:54 am.  Paramedics and police were called at 4:03am. Darcy was pronounced dead at the scene at 4:12am.  Barnes turned up at 5:17am.  Her body had already been moved when he got there.  If you’re goin’ to go back, you have stop Darcy leaving the tower or stop Barnes from goin’ Upstate, he never woulda let her go off at night on her own, he was an over protective mother hen.  If you’re too late, you have to get to the store before she dies and stop that damn kid.  And if you can’t manage that you have to find some way of talking Barnes out of killing himself and Tony out of building that program.”

Logan nods. He’s already worked out what he’ll have to do.  He was going to fix this for all of them.  Without the Avengers there to help defend Earth the Skrull had overrun them easily.  Having Stark and Rogers together was imperative, the two had been masterful strategists and leaders.  There wasn’t a plan or an enemy they couldn’t out think or outgun when it was called for.  With the Avengers together, the invasion would have been stopped before it even started.

 

* * *

 

 

 

January 20th 2018  Avengers Upstate Facility New York.

 

Bucky had just finished up with the baby agents target practice when he became aware of the sensation of being watched.  It made him twitchy.  A cursory glance around the periphery didn’t reveal anything right away.  He continued to check his gun, chambered a round flicked on the safety and holstered it.  He knew there was someone there.  His gut was telling him it wasn’t a threat, but he didn’t like the feeling, it made his spine crawl.

“Whoever’s there better come out or I’m coming after you.”  He called out.

“Well, you’re skills of observation are just as good as they were back in Vienna.”  A rough voice chuckled as a man materialized from the edge of the tree line.  He was stalky and solid, hair rising in peaks at either side of his head.  There was a pause as he processed the familiar voice and face.

“Jesue Christ, Howlett?  James Howlett?” 

He didn’t think it was possible to be anymore surprised.  He hadn’t seen the other man in over seventy years, hadn’t thought it possible that there was anyone else out there like him and Steve.

“I go by Logan now, or Wolverine if you prefer.”

“How the hell are you still alive and looking….”

“Young?  I don’t age very much kid, never have. I’ve got a century on you.”

“Why are you here?  Now?”

“Why else?  I’m here to save the world.”

Bucky frowned weighing up the veracity of the statement.  He’d known James Howlett for a handful of months back in ’44.  He’d been a reliable soldier, a good leader for his own team of commandos and had been helpful back then.  Brave, willing to do the right thing.  He hadn’t thought much of the man’s brother Victor, that guy had been a few sandwiches short of a picnic.  The name Wolverine was one he had heard more recently.  The name of one of the X-Men.  Mutants that had been taking up some of the burden of dealing with both super-villains and alien threats.

“I guess you better come in then.” 

Logan nodded and the two men made their way into the facility.  Bucky signaled with his com to have Jarvis gather the others.

Once inside and settled, Stark and Steve and the others all gathered up, Logan started his story.  A story of a world gone wrong, a timeline that ended with Earth overrun and most of them dead.

“Okay, so this isn’t going to happen for years, why come back to this time, specifically?”

It was Stark that asked, he’d seen something or noticed something in the story Logan told that was rattling him.

“That’s the bit that’s most delicate.  I don’t want any of you going off the deep end.  There’s time to avert the turning point.  The event that cause the Avengers to be gone when the Skrulls came.  It changed you, twisted you up inside. You weren’t taken out by enemies, you self-destructed, went mad, or left, some of you regarded as monsters before the end.”

“And one thing caused all that?”

Bucky asked, unable to comprehend what could have caused such a drastic change.  Logan meets his eyes, regret and sorrow in them and Bucky’s gut churns.  Dread feeling like a lead weight settling inside him. 

“One death.  One senseless, pointless death that never should have happened.”

Stark and Bucky are now tense while the others seem lost.  It’s Stark’s voice, cold and devoid of emotion that speaks first.

“When?” 

Both he and Bucky stand.  Bucky doesn’t bother to spare a glance at the other man.  He’s known for months now that Darcy was his daughter.  No other death would have the impact Logan was suggesting.  He knew exactly how it would go.  How could he not?  Just thinking about losing her, her and the baby….  He’d be right behind her, it wouldn’t matter to him what happened after, only that he wasn’t there to live in a world without her.

“How?”

It’s Bucky demanding an answer now.  If he can stop it…  He won’t go till he knows how to stop it.

“Early hours of tomorrow morning at a store on the corner of East 42nd and Lexington.  A robbery goes wrong, she dies, her and the baby.”

He and Stark are out the door at the same time.  It’s only noon, there’s plenty of time to stop it but neither of them is going to be comfortable till they see her, make sure she’s still alive and there and not…  he can’t think about it.

Stark brings his car up in the drive and they both get in.  They might not be friends, but in this one thing they will always be allies.

“She needs a protection detail.”

“I know, I should have organised one for her months ago but…”

“She hates a fuss and she’d have dug her heels in.  She can’t say no to both of us.”  Stark tells him with a hard tone.  He won’t brook any argument from her now.  Not when they had come so close to losing her.

“You have to tell her the truth.” 

He knows it will be difficult for Stark, but Darcy will be happy about it when she gets over the shock.  She genuinely loves Stark, he’s her favourite Avenger even if she’d never admit it.

“I know, I was planning to, just have to readjust my timeline.”  He agrees.  “we can’t tell her about this, not now.”

“No.”  Bucky nods, there’s no way he’ll let any of them tell her about this.  She doesn’t need to know how close it came, not till after their kid is born.

 

* * *

 

 

Darcy is laying out some baby clothes and snipping off the tags, ready to be washed when she hears the door open. 

“Doll, I’m back, you here?”

“In here babe.”  She calls back. 

He finds her in the nursery sitting in the rocking chair, a pile of clothes on her lap.  She smiles brightly at him and he restrains himself from reaching out and pulling her into his arms.

“You’re back early?”

“Yeah, we finished up early, thought I’d surprise you.”

Darcy’s brow puckers, there’s something not right, he looks….  She can’t quite put a finger on it but it’s odd. 

“Are you okay?”

“I’m good Doll, just missed you.”  He comes over, bracing himself on the arms of the chair as he leans over to press a kiss to her forehead.

Darcy shrugs off the strange feeling, the shiver that runs down her spine.

“What do you say we get away for a few days?  One last vacation before the little bug is born?”

“I thought you couldn’t get any time off?”

“Change in the schedule, managed to swing the long weekend.  We leave tonight come back on Sunday, what do you think?”

Darcy laughed.  “And just where are we going at such short notice?”

“Tony offered the house in Malibu, what do you think? Sun, sand, lay by the pool?”

“Right now?”

“Pack a bag, we can be flying there in an hour.”

Darcy shrugs.  Sure, why the hell not.  It’s not like they’re likely to get a chance like this again for a while.  She puts the clothes to one side, letting Bucky help her up.

An hour later they’re on a jet, Bucky not trusting anyone but himself to fly them there.

 

* * *

 

 

January 21st 2018  3:57am

 

 

Darcy wakes with a scream, heart pounding with fright.  Bucky is out of the bed, searching for danger before she can catch her breath quick enough to tell him she’s fine.

“It’s okay, it was just a bad dream.”

“Darcy…”  he crawls into the bed, arms wrapped round her hard, rocking her with him as he buries his face in her hair breathing her in.

She clings to him, unable to stop the tears from falling.  She can’t remember the dream exactly, just that something awful had happened, something that had left her scared and lonely and full of grief.

Eventually she calms and he feels secure enough to grab a glass of water for her.  Darcy grabs a tissue from the night stand and wipes her eyes, taking the water gratefully when he comes back.

“You alright Darcy?”

“I’m fine, just…  I feel like something really bad happened and….  I don’t know, it was just a dream, it wasn’t real.”

“You’re safe Darcy-Doll, I promise, nothing bad is ever going to happen to you.  I won’t let it.”

She lets him snuggle her back into his arms and she tries to fall asleep.  Neither of them seem to manage and after a while she gives up.

“I can’t sleep.  I’m going to be a wreck tomorrow.”

Bucky sighs, stroking her back gently. 

“Why don’t we get up then?  I’ll make you something to eat, we’ll watch some Netflix on the couch, we can nap the day away tomorrow if you get tired, just laze about, not worry about keeping a schedule.”

“A lazy day sounds good, lie out by the pool and do nothing but soak up some sun and cuddle.”

“Sounds perfect Darce.  Come on, I’ll make you some waffles and tea.”

She kisses him softly.

“Have I told you how much I love you?”

“Every day Doll, almost as often as I tell you.”

He kisses her back and then pulls her up with him.

“Let’s get this lazy day started.”

 

 

 

 

 

 


	24. Can You Handle This?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt : teaching each other things
> 
> Short and Sweet.

 

 

 

 

Darcy hated the idea of having to learn self-defence.  It rated up there with exercise and diets.  For some odd reason both Thor and Jane insisted that she had to do it though, so she had attended the gym reluctantly, protesting bitterly with each step. 

The first trainer had kicked her out in the first twenty minutes and Darcy had heaved a sigh of relief.  After all they couldn’t make her learn if there was no one to teach her.

Jane had put on her ‘Do As I Say or I’ll Portal You’ voice and found Darcy another trainer.  Seething, Darcy went to see what this one made of her, but this time it was Darcy that had walked out ten minutes in.  The woman had taken an inordinate amount of pleasure in telling Darcy everything that was wrong with her body shape and sneered at the double layer of sports bra’s she’s put on and basically made her feel fat and ugly and a bit of a tramp.  She was not going back to train with someone like that.

The third guy had been better, for the first three sessions, and Darcy had grudgingly admitted that it wasn’t so bad.  That was until the asshole had tried to stick his hands down her pants while showing her how to get out of a hold.  Thor had not been happy and had made a personal visit to the idiot about the inappropriate touching.  Luckily Tony had the whole thing on tape and the guy had been fired and a complain lodged with police, not that Darcy thinks much will come of it.

She’s enjoying the reprieve before they find yet another person to make her suffer.  Right now though, she has a baking date.

Bucky Barnes had been doing cooking for therapy and she had been roped in by Wilson to help out.  she didn't mind one bit.  She had been itching to get a chance to talk to him a bit more.  There was something about him that made her tummy flutter and her heart ache.  He always looked so sad and unapproachable.  At Jane's urging Darcy had made herself available to help three days a week between 2pm and 5pm.  Jane insisted she didn't mind giving Darcy the time off and Darcy wasn't going to say no to nine hours a week of kitchen time with the guy she'd been crushing on since 10th grade. 

It had been going well the last few weeks.  He had relaxed around her and started talking a more.  They had actually managed to reach some conversational milestones, like the music they liked, who they'd wanted to be when they were kids and speculated over what would happen next on Game of Thrones.  It had also been really interesting getting to know him.  Bucky Barnes might come across as all cold and dangerous but secretly she was absolutely certain he was actually just a giant marshmallow. 

He listened to her while she explained what to do and why they did things a certain way and he was really getting better at it.  He seemed to enjoy baking and had become much more enthusiastic about it as the weeks went on.  Today she was going to teach him how to make muffins.  She’d let him choose what kinds and all the ingredients had been ordered the day before.

He was already waiting for her when she arrived, he had trimmed his hair a little shorter since Monday and it was combed back carefully, tidily.  She swooned internally and wondered what it would be like to run her fingers through it and muss it up.  She shook off the thought and hustled through and picked up an apron.

“Hey Bucky, ready to get started?”

“Sure doll, can’t wait.”

Bucky helped her get the bowls out and they passed ingredients to each other as they worked in companionable silence for a time.

The question he asked her was not what she’d been expecting.

“I heard about Harrison.  Steve told me.  You feeling alright after what happened?”

Darcy pauses for a moment then decides to be honest.

“I’m fine, I’m used to it, it’s not the first time some guy’s tried to get his hands in my pants or under my shirt Bucky.”

The cold deadly silence from her new friend makes her look up.

“What the hell is wrong with people?  I don’t get how this is just,…  brushed under the rug.  The future sucks Darce.”

“It wasn’t exactly a bed of roses back in the 40’s either Bucky bear.”  She retorts, in truth nothing much had changed deep down.

“I know, I just thought we’d get better at all this stuff, not worse.  You’re never going to get anywhere with self-defence if you can’t trust the person teaching you”

Darcy shrugs and asks him to pass the muffin cases.  There’s not much anyone can do at this point, it’s just they way the world is.  She’s had put up with that sort of thing for years.  Ever since she was old enough to wear a bra she’d had to learn how to get past the constant harassment of one form or another.  She notices that he’s looking pensive and broody again, never a good combination.  She hip checks him and shakes her head.

“It’s fine... well not fine, I hate it...  But I know I can trust everyone here in the Tower not to try anything.  Don’t worry about me Bucky, I’ll be alright, I still have my taser.”

Beside her the sigh of exasperation and the shoulder bump he gives her lets her know he’s not pleased by this response. 

She can’t use it in New York and yet she still insists in carrying it around with her.  He’s worried she’s going to fry someone and get in trouble.  He really didn’t want that to happen.  He thinks back to Steve’s hints that he could teach her and save them all a heap of trouble and time.

“You know it’s illegal in New York.  Look I know you don’t like guns, but I thought maybe, if you wanted to learn I could teach you, that way you don’t have to worry about the self defence classes, although you know… if you wanted I could teach you that too?”

She knew her mouth was hanging open.  The Winter Soldier was asking her if she wanted lessons?

“Are you offering to take me on and teach me?  You know the first guy nearly had a heart attack just from my potty mouth.”

“I think I can handle it.” 

He tells her with a teasing smile.  She bites back the urge to grin back and wink at him, unfortunately her mouth doesn’t manage quite as much restraint.

“You think you can handle all of this?”

Ha, right where it hurts.  He’s going cross-eyed trying not to look where she was pointing at her bust.

Oh god he is adorable when he blushes.

“I know I can.” 

He’s regained his composure and now it’s her turn to blush at the thought of him handling her in any way.

“Fine, how about tomorrow morning, 7 am.”

She almost curses at her impulsive suggestion, but the thought of being able to get to see him in nothing more than a t-shirt and sweat pants has her salivating.  He is just so good looking it’s hard not to enjoy the sight when it’s right in front of you.

“It’s a date”

He calls out as he leaves the kitchen. The muffins piled high on the plate.

 

* * *

 

 

 

She actually turns up a little early the next day, looking forward to it this time.  It’s much easier to think about learning things without worrying she’s going to get groped again or fat shamed.  On the other hand, she would not mind getting hit on by Bucky. 

He is just so ridiculously attractive.  But he is so far out of her league it’s not funny, so she’ll take any time she can get with him before some lucky skinny model type wanders along and gets all pissy about his friendship with “That Darcy, girl.”  Oh the times she’s heard that, like she was a bad influence.

The first fifteen minutes, he coaches her through a warm up and then moves onto the correction of her stance and posture.  She preens with each word of praise he gives her and does her damndest not to melt into his touch when he corrects her position with the brush of a hand for emphasis.   By the time the hour is nearly up she’s a hot mess and not from the exercise, although there’s that too. 

No, she feels like she’d just attended the longest, most tortuous, foreplay event ever.  Trying to stick with the plan and keep focused on learning something useful, she asks about how to get away from a guy holding her down without considering how he’ll have to do it and that’s when all thought of keeping herself strictly professional throws itself out the window.

Ten minutes into teaching Darcy he thinks he’s made a mistake, because, no, it turns out, he can not “handle all that”, she’s too pretty,  he can’t hardly think in her presence.  Then every time he touches her she shivers or bites back a tiny little noise in the back of her throat and all of a sudden he remembers what that means, why she’d doing it.  He knows what she had alluded to in the kitchen yesterday, about guys touching her without permission and she’s trying not to flinch every time he touches her. 

She’s uncomfortable and he can’t blame her.  He keeps going though, going through a half dozen moves to get out of a choke hold and then she asks him to show her how to get away if I guy manages to get her on the ground.  That brings him up short.  He knows how to teach her, he’s just not sure he should be the one doing it.  To teach her properly how to do it, means getting far closer than he thinks he can manage without giving himself and how he feels about her away.  And he knows if him just touching her arms or hips to correct a move or her posture makes her uncomfortable this will be ten times worse for her.

But he did promise and he can’t back out now, not after all the shit she’s went through with the others.

She’s on her back and he’s encouraging her to twist to bring her body onto its side while lifting a leg up to brace against his hip when she gives in.  She can’t do this, it’s too much.  He’s half over her, between her open legs and he’s asked her a dozen times if she’d comfortable or if it’s okay if he touches her here and there and if he asks her one more time if she’s alright she’s going to scream.

Why in the name of Thor had she thought this was a good idea?  He’s being so patient and careful with her she thinks he must think she’s made of glass.  And damn it she should be taking this seriously, not turning over the pro’s and cons in her mind of messing it up so he ends up closer to her. 

Bucky grits his teeth as they go over the move again.  He can’t take much more of this, she’s smiling at him and nodding and listening and… fuck.  Every time they go back to the start position he’s convinced he’s going to shimmy her just a tad too close and she’ll run screaming because honestly his body has a mind of it’s own in her presence.  She’s on her back, legs open, knees bent while he’s kneeling back on his heels between her legs.  It’s exactly what it looks like and he can’t teach her how to get out from under him unless they actually are in the right position, a realistic position. 

He’s still not sure how he managed to explain how they would be doing this without stuttering through it, but he’d done it. 

Darcy had looked wide eyed and a little apprehensive and then she’d blushed all the way up from her collar bones to the tips of her ears when he’d pulled her in, her thighs resting over his, their hips near flush together, he felt like the worst sort of pervert. 

“Okay, one more time and then we’ll call it day Doll.”  He tells her as he brings her back to the start, her legs hooked up on his, him looming over her, only an inch or so between their bodies from crotch to rib-cage. 

“Oh thank god.”  She breathes out, then slaps her hand over her mouth because no she did not mean that the way he’s taking it.  He freezes over her and she knows he’s going to run, what else would he do?  He thinks she’s scared or uncomfortable and that is the furthest thing from the truth.

“Fuck, this was a mistake, I’m sorry…” He tries to sit up, walk away but Darcy suddenly clings to him, her legs hooked over his hips, stopping him from pulling away.

“No!  I didn’t mean it like that… God Barnes you are so fucking blind.  I’m sorry…  I just…” 

She loses her train of thought because damn it, her action has pulled them closer, nothing stopping her from feeling the hardness now nestled into her core through his sweatpants and her thin leggings.

It’s her turn to freeze, eyes widening in surprise and desire.  This was not what she had been expecting at all.  Her heart takes off in her chest and the instinct to squeeze her thighs together presses them tighter against each other.  Fuck, that feels too good and this is not what she had meant to do.  But he’s just as frozen as her at the way she had responded to him, she sees the truth dawning in his eyes as she stares, not daring to breath.

It’s like a game of chicken, both of them unwilling to blink first. 

He brings his hands down on either side of her, this time, instead of keeping her arms straight, braced against his shoulders to keep him away, she locks them round his neck, pulling him down till her chest is flush against his and she can clearly see the tiny salt and pepper hairs in the stubble on his chin. 

He can’t believe he missed this.  Had he been out of the game so long he’d misinterpreted every little tell that would have told him she was just as interested in him as he was in her?  He lowers himself carefully till he rests on his elbows.  There’s not hair of space between their bodies now and he can feel every soft curve of her and the heat radiating from her core has him biting back a moan.

He begins to smile at her and his eyes crinkle just the tiniest bit.  Darcy can’t help smiling back, her bottom lip caught in her teeth in delight.

“You know, if you wanted to get into my pants Doll, you could just have asked.”

She tugged lightly on his hair in retaliation for the sass and hummed.

“Well how was I meant to know you were interested?  You’re always such a gentleman, I thought you didn’t notice me.”

The last is said with the sort of vulnerability that is breaks his heart a little.  Who the hell had damaged her confidence like that?

“Doll, I’d have to blind not to have noticed you.  You’re beautiful Darcy, your eyes, that shade of china blue, the way they sparkle when you’re being sneaky, your smile, your smile drives me crazy and the way those little curls that escape when you wear your hair up while we’re cooking.  Fuck Doll, I want to reach out and touch them all the damn time.”

They’re almost nose to nose now.  She blinks back tears that are threatening to make an appearance and ruin the whole thing because, Holy Mother of Thor, no one has ever said something so fucking nice to her before.  If a guy noticed anything it was her tits or her ass.  They certainly didn’t wax lyrical about the curl of her hair or the colour of her eyes.  It’s official, James Buchanan Barnes is perfect. 

“I didn’t think you’d be interested in me Darce, I’m not exactly what girls dream about.”

“Are you kidding me?  Have you seen yourself?  You are exactly what girls dream about.” 

She’s not sure if he’s teasing or not, but the tiny little flinch at her words makes her think not.

It’s a strange state of affairs, she thinks.  A moment ago she’d been on the knife edge of desire, now she’s just full of gooey feelings and wants to hug him and kiss him till he knows how special and important and perfect he is to her.

“Can I kiss you doll?”

“I’d really like it of you did.”

He smiles and hauls her upright, till she’s straddling his thighs, she slips down a little and the tantalising feel of being pressed into him simmers down without the direct contact.  She holds onto his shoulders and digs her toes into the mat, keeping her balance, not that she really needs to, he had one hand at her back and the other at her hip keeping her from falling off.

She can’t look away from him as he stares at her lips, still a little unsure if he should kiss her, so she makes the decision and moves first, fitting her lips to his, pressing softly into him in a chaste kiss.  She feels the curl of his lips as he smiles into the kiss, her own curling in response as they exchange lazy gentle kisses.  It’s not all fiery passion and need, it’s special she thinks dazedly, and a little magical, because she can’t believe he’s kissing her back.  It’s the sort of perfect first kiss you read about in silly romance novels and if they’d been standing, she’s pretty sure her leg would have popped like in the movies. 

The loud coughing coming from the door startles them both and she pulls away blushing as Steve strolls in. 

“I thought you were teaching her how to get away from a guy?”

Darcy scowled at the vaguely guilty look that flits over Bucky’s face.

“I decided to teach him how to catch a girl instead Cap.”  She pipes up, barely resisting the urge to stick her tongue out.

Steve just grins at them and shakes his head, turning to leave, laughing.

“It’s about damn time!  We thought you two were never going to figure it out.”

Wait, what?

“What do you mean, we?  We who?”  Darcy shouts at his retreating back.

“Tell Jane she owes me fifty bucks, I told her it’d only take one lesson.”

Darcy and Bucky look at each other.

“You get the feeling we just got played Doll?”

“Yup.”

Then she sighs, because right now, she doesn’t give a fuck.

“You want to go get coffee with me Darcy?”

“Yes, I do.  And then later we can plan how to get them back.  I have a back order of glitter and glue just arrived from Hobbycraft and didn’t have anything to do with it.  Think you can get me Cap’s shield?”

“What are you going to do with it?”

“Let’s get that coffee and I’ll tell you all about it.”

Bucky laughs and shakes his head then kisses her again and she melts into it, it’s a little less soft and romantic and little more heated and passionate.  It takes her breath away in fact, and she tightens her arms round his neck.  It’ll be fun she thinks, teaching Bucky how to bedazzle things and help her play pranks.  All of it is going to be fun, and she’ll never miss another defence lesson again if he’s there to kiss her at the end of it.

 

 

 

 


	25. Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Getting Lost Somewhere

 

 

 

 

Darcy jammed the hat on her head angrily and kept walking.  Incompetent fucking goons.  She had had it.  She was fed up with the constant kidnapping, the random portaling to other places, the constant clean up duty she always got left with.  God it was so unfair.  Explosions and chemical spills, running for her life….  she didn’t know why she kept putting herself through this anymore.  It wasn’t like they actually needed her.  She was just the help when it came right down to it.  The help and Bucky Barnes ex-girlfriend.  Ugg. 

She was done.  If she ever finds her way back to civilization she’s quitting.  Going back home or maybe to Washington and actually use the stupid ass degree she spent thousands on college tuition for. 

She stuffed her hands in her pockets and kept up a steady pace. She had no fucking clue where she was.  They had taken her this morning, yesterday?  Ugg, she had no idea how long she was out for.  Some moron had stuck a needle in her neck and shot her full of some knock out drug. She’d been out like a light before she even saw the inside of the van.

Now she’s stuck in the middle of nowhere.  She had no idea where she was or how long ago she’d been taken so couldn’t even guess how far from New York she might be.  They’d tossed her phone and none of the bodies she left behind had had any digital tech on them.

When she’d woken up she’s been patient, waited for an opening, let them think she was still out of it. Then she’d done everything Natasha had taught her.  She kept a small razor-blade in the cuff of her shirt and bobby pins tucked into the waistband of her pants, front and back.  The idiots hadn’t bothered to frisk her more thoroughly than to take her phone and tablet.  Hell, even her handbag had still been there.  She’d picket the lock on her cuffs, unwound the garrotte wire bracelet that had been a gift from Bucky last Christmas and choked the first goon to death.  It was insulting really, that they’d only sent two of them to pick her up.  Did she really not rate as a threat at all to these people?  Was she just some easy pickings, viewed as a non-powered lackey to superhero’s? The second one had suffered the same fate, the van had been totalled though, she hadn’t wanted to risk the driver pulling over first and possibly getting the upper hand. 

She she’s walking down a highway in the middle of bumfuck nowhere hoping to find something or wave down a car and get help.  Maybe she’ll just not bother going back to New York at all, just go straight to Washington, find an apartment, a job, start over.  It’s not like anyone will notice she’s gone.

Okay, so maybe she’s feeling a bit sorry for herself, but can you blame her?

She’s been lost ever since Jane went off to Asgard and Bucky and she had had that huge fight and they’d broken up.  Oh she does not want to think about that right now.  She never does, but it comes back to haunt her thoughts at the worst times.  Like now, when every part of her just wants him to show up and get her out of here.  Her eyes prickle uncomfortably, and she rubs at them angrily, there will be no tears, not right now.  She’s done nothing but cry for months.

The sound of a van or a truck made its way to her ears and she stepped off the road, pulling the gun she’s taken from her kidnappers.

The van approaching was almost identical to the one she had been taken it.  What were the chances that these were the same people?  The van suddenly swerved and then careened off the highway, flipping as it left the road and down an embankment, rolling as it went.  What the actual fuck?

Darcy cautiously made her way over and looked down the steep drop at the side.   The van had come to a stop about 200 yards down, caught by the trees on the slope.  She took cover and waited, wondering if anyone was alive down there.  She wasn’t quite brave enough or stupid enough to go down and see.  The screech of metal made her wince as the side of the van was torn open. 

Well fuck.  Of course, it was him, who else would it be?

Nope, all the nopes.  She was not ready for this right now.  She tucked the gun back in her pocket and started walking briskly.  She was so not doing this right now.

She hadn’t gotten more than a few hundred feet down the road when she heard his voice calling her name.  She ignored it and kept walking.

“For fuck sake Darcy, would you stop!”

She had been kidnapped and she hadn’t cried.  She had killed two men and she hadn’t cried.  She had been left in the middle of nowhere with no way home and she hadn’t fucking cried.  But his voice?  Calling to her?  After she hadn’t seen or heard from him in nearly six months?  Yes.  That could make her cry, damn it!

She could feel him getting closer, hear the way he didn’t even have to run as he did that murder strut to catch up with her.  She was barely holding it together right now.  There was nowhere for her to go to escape him.  She was trapped.  She heaved a breath and dug her nails into the palms of her hands, refusing to let him see her cry right now.  She slowed and stopped, turning slowly to watch from the corner of her eye as he approached.

Darcy pasted on the sweetest, fakest smile she could.

“Hey, long time no see.  How have you been stranger?”

She took a small satisfaction in the way he almost missed a step at her greeting.  Was her tone bitter and sarcastic?  Yes, yes it fucking was.

“Doll.” 

He said it like he used to.  The way he’d said it a thousand times before, like it meant something special. He never called anyone but her that.

He gave out sweethearts and sugars like candy, but that name had been for her alone.

“What are you doing here?”

He looks at her like she’s out of her mind.

“What do you mean what am I doing here?  I came after you!”

“In a van with some more of the goon squad?”

“I caught up to them this morning, let them take me, figured they’d lead me to you.  One of them was about to really knock me out so I took them out.”

“Well, you found me, well done.  How are we getting out of here and where is here?”

He opened his mouth to answer, watching one cool, arched brow, rise enquiringly.  So maybe he hadn’t quite thought that through.

“Have you got your phone?”  She asked, not bothering to beat around the bush.

“No.”

“Tracker?”

“No.”

“Any idea where we are?”

“…………..”

“We’re lost aren’t we.”

“Darce, it’ll be fine, we just keep following the road till we find someplace.”

“Where were you when they pickled you up?”

“Just outside of Saratoga Springs, heading north, about seven hours ago so we’re probably…”

“In the middle of nowhere.”  She finishes for him.  Nothing but wilderness and national park for miles. 

“Great.”  She turns and keeps walking.

 

Bucky’s gut churns as he follows after her.  She keeps her silence and he bites his lip, resisting the urge to talk to her, to get everything out in the open and fix things with her.  But he knows from the quiver in her voice that she’s hanging on by a thread right now.  He wants to ask her how she got away, wants to ask her a lot of things. 

When the cops had called yesterday to return Darcy’s phone which had been found in the street, he had been more than confused.  Some kid had found it on the sidewalk and handed it in to the precinct.  They’d managed to open up her emergency contacts without breaking the encryption on her phone.  His was the only number listed.  After a few more phone calls it had become apparent that no one had seen Darcy since Tuesday morning when she’d went to pick up some dry cleaning for one of the scientists.  Bucky had taken the bike and drove back to the city as fast as possible. 

Letting himself into the apartment they had shared he had been stunned to find all her things gone.  Where the hell was she living if not here?  Seeing the place empty of all the things that had once made it home had been like a punch to the gut.  A reminder that they weren’t a couple anymore.  He’d been upstate so long he’d convinced himself if he didn’t come back he could believe she was still waiting, everything unchanged from how it had been.

Prying information out of Maria Hill had been time consuming, time Darcy might not have had.  If it wasn’t illegal he would have strung the cold hearted bitch up.  The woman hadn’t even noticed that Darcy was missing. 

After a conversation which had been like pulling teeth he had finally got all the information he needed.   Darcy had been asked to live elsewhere since she no longer had clearance.  Apparently with Jane gone and Bucky upstate, the two of them no longer an item, she’d basically been evicted from the apartment. 

That was bullshit. It had never been _his_ apartment, it had been theirs.  They moved into it together, when he left, he never considered anyone would have the nerve to ask her to leave, but apparently that wasn’t the case.  

Then she’d been demoted from the Elite level R&D labs to working as some assistant and lackey to the scientists on level 64.  God she must have been bored out of her mind.

Finding out that her security detail had been pulled shortly after he had left to go upstate had started a shouting match, he’s pretty sure everyone in Manhattan had heard.  And he knows who did it.  Steve was in charge of security for he Tower since he left, it had to have been him that took the only protection she had away from her and then she’d been taken. 

He wonders how long they waited to get their hands on her before they realised, she had been left unprotected.  Guilt is eating him alive.  He should have checked on her.  If he had, none of this would have happened.  She’d still be living in their apartment safely, not commuting from Queens.  She’d have had a discrete four-man protection detail every time she left without him or one of the others.  He thought he’d left her safe, instead, walking away had made her vulnerable. 

He sighs and continues following her.  All he wants is to reach out and touch her, take her in his arms and hold her, make sure she’s solid and safe.  He refrains and watches her like a hawk.

Darcy feels herself starts to shake a little.  The adrenaline is wearing off and she knows what a crash feels like, one is coming and she’s going to useless.  She has to tell him, but every time she feels ready to give in and just talk her stubborn pride rears up to bite her in the ass.

He looks good.  Six months is a long time when you haven’t seen someone.  His hair’s shorter, probably not unlike it had been back before the war.  He’s wearing a leather jacket and tight black jeans that leave little to the imagination, not that she needs to imagine, oh no, she still remembers exactly what he looks like out of his clothes. 

She can feel herself slowing down a bit, but she keeps quiet, he hasn’t said anything either yet.

Part of her wants to stop, turn around and throw herself into his arms.  She’s pretty sure he’d catch her, hold her… comfort her.  She wishes she could have felt that way months ago, back before everything went down the drain.  But she hadn’t.  She’d felt like she didn’t know where she stood with him at all.

They had hooked up too fast in the beginning.  It had taken three days before he’d had her in his bed.  Not that she had been complaining.  God no, they were amazing together, between the sheets they were fantastic, everything about them made sense.  In the real world, trying to live together, make a relationship work?  Yeah, not so great.  It took far longer than she liked to notice that it wasn’t working and when she had…  it had been too late to put it back together again, at least for her.  She’d been so consumed by anger and resentment…jealousy.  But she hadn’t stopped loving him.  Caring about him, she hadn’t wanted him to run off, upstate and ignore her.  Office gossip being what it was some of the other assistants hadn’t wasted any time in letting her know he’d moved on.

Before she could stop herself she’d asked the question.

“I heard you were seeing someone?”

Bucky stops short, then comes up along side her so he was able to see her face.  He wonders why she’d asking this now, but he answers her anyway.

“I was dating for a while, a couple of months, didn’t work out.”

Darcy feels the swoop of nausea at the confirmation, then the glee at his admission of being single once again. 

“I’m sorry.”  She mange’s to say almost sincerely.

“No, you’re not.”

His retort isn’t grumpy or angry, there’s a curl of a smile in voice, as if he’s pleased by her question.  Is he flirting with her…?  She shrugs, feeling like a teenager and agrees.

“No, I’m not.”

They walk another mile before he asks her.

“You still seeing Quinn?”

Darcy starts at that, how the hell did he know about that? It had lasted all of three weeks.

“Nope.”

Bucky bites back a grin before offering his regrets.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

That he offers the most insincere apology with such a cheeky smirk almost makes her laugh out loud.

“No, you’re not.”

This time she moves close enough to him to bump his shoulder.  The look he throws her is burning into her.

“No, I’m not.”

That is honest, heartrendingly honest.  It was always the same with them, a maelstrom of emotions one after another.

“What are we doing here Bucky?”

She knows exactly how desperate that sounds. 

He looked conflicted for a moment then lifted her over the turnstile.  The side road looked like it would lead to a house or a cabin, they’d hopefully find a telephone there.

“I have no fuckin' clue, Doll.”

He kept up a fast pace then, but not so hard she couldn’t keep up.  Every time he looked at her she wanted to say something, anything, but her voice froze in her throat. 

This was why he’d stayed away.  Put the two of them in the same vicinity for long enough and they couldn’t help but begin to soften.  After that last argument he’d ran.  Packed a bag and left.  It had been a dick move, he’d said nothing, not even good bye.

She’d been wrong though.  He didn’t want anyone but her.  Stupid fuckin' argument.  Stupid fuckin' pride.  He knew what it had looked like but part of him wanted to punish her for jumping to conclusions and he never sat her down and explained what had actually happened.  Fuck, if it had been him, he’d have hit anyone that put hands on her.

The house came into view and Darcy let out a breath.  Thank fuck, she didn’t think she could have went much longer.  Which is of course when she steps in a gofer hole, twisting her ankle.  She lets out a sharp cry, but she never hits the ground. 

He never could help playing knight in shining armour.  He scoops her up in his arms and their faces are close together, eyes locked, breathless, unable to look away.

It would be so easy to tilt her head just a fraction, invite him to kiss her and she is so tempted to. So unbelievably tempted, because good god she missed him.  Missed his laugh and his eyes that would track her when she entered a room.  Missed the smell of him in her bed.  Missed the smell of sex in the early morning when he would wake her and make love to her slowly, pull her apart piece by piece till the only name she knew was his.  She can almost feel it again, the certainty and safety he had provided her.  She missed that most of all.  Oh, she could take care of herself just fine, she’d more than proven that today.  She didn’t need a man…  but she wanted this one.  Wanted him badly.  Wanted him to want her.  Wanted him to need her.  Instead of giving in to the temptation of kissing him she does something worse.  She can see it in his eyes what he wants.  Darcy tucks her head underneath his chin and closes her eyes, shaking from the mixture of fear, adrenaline and exhaustion.  His grip on her tightens and she could cry when he presses a kiss into her hair.

“We’re alright Doll, I’ll get you home.”

Darcy nods against his neck and lets the silent tears that have been threatening all day to fall.

The house is quiet and empty, probably someone’s summer place.  There’s a key under a pot at the back door and they let themselves in.  He places her on the couch and tucks the afghan on the chair around her before making the calls he needs to.  It won’t be too long till they’re back in the city.

He thinks he should probably take this slow, keep his distance, give them a chance to talk everything out but she looks at him with those big blue eyes of hers and he ignores the logical voice in his head.  Instead he makes another phone call, talks briefly to the concierge at the tower, he’ll make sure the apartment’s aired, the linens changed, and the pantry stocked for them getting back.

When he sits down next to her, she burrows under his arm and rests her head on his chest.

“I want to fix this.”

It was all she had wanted to hear for months.  He was saying it now.  But what did it mean?

“It can’t be like it was before.  We didn’t talk….  Not really, not the way we should have.”

“I know.  I want us to work, Doll.  I want us to go home and really talk this all out.  We lost our way somewhere, I think it’s time to see if we can find it again.  Is that what you want?”

“More than anything. I think we have to decide what we want, together, not just expect the other to know…. I’m guilty of that too.  I knew you hadn’t…” 

She broke off.  She knew he hadn’t cheated, but that day, she had been so scared that he wanted to…

“I’m sorry.  I shoulda never been in a position where it looked even remotely like that could ever happen.  I’ve never wanted anyone but you, not since the day we met Doll.  No one could come close.”

Darcy snorts.  “Even when I’m a neurotic paranoid mess?”

“Not even then.”

“You gonna come home with me now?”

“Home?”

“The Tower, Darcy.”

“Are you sure you want me to?”

“I don’t want you outta my sight anytime in the near future.  They grabbed you right off the street Baby.  Some kid handed your phone in to the cops, if he hadn’t I wouldn’t even have known you were missing.  What the hell happened when I left?”

Darcy sighed.  She really didn’t feel like telling that story.

“It doesn’t matter.  It’s in the past.”

He lets it drop, she’s obviously not ready talk about the way some of the people at he Tower had been treating her.  He wonders briefly where the hell Stark was in all of this, he can’t see the other man ever letting anyone treat Darcy the way she has been.

“You want to tell me how you got away from the guys that had you?”

She holds up her hand and wiggles her wrist, the bangle glinting in the light and he feels a grim sense of satisfaction in it.  He’d given her that for exactly these sorts of situations. 

“You did good Doll, just like we taught you.  You’ve got nothin’ to feel bad about.”

She nods into his chest and tries not to think about the two dead men left behind her.  It had been her or them, she knows this. 

They talk the whole three hours it takes for someone to come pick them up.  It’s different from before.  He pauses a great deal when he explains things, she can tell it’s not because he’s holding back, but because it takes so much strength to say the things he does out loud.  By the time he’s handing her into the chopper she’s made her decision.

“I want to come home with you.”

Bucky lets out a breath he didn’t know he’s been holding. 

“Okay.”

Darcy nods.  One more go.  One more try.  Maybe they wouldn’t always know the way, or where they were, but they were going going to give it a chance.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	26. Getcha Getcha Getcha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Teasing Each Other
> 
> Short and sweet.

 

 

 

 

Darcy is fairly sure this is not how learning how to shoot a gun is meant to go.  It’s been a torturous thirty minutes.  Bucky’s hands seem to be everywhere.  At her elbow, on her hands, adjusting her grip. On her hips, keeping her centred….  But this was going too far, she is seriously considering turning the gun on him at this point.  He’s behind her coaching her through lining up the target and how to aim and pull the trigger.  Only now he’s pressed against her back, one large hand settled against her stomach keeping her steady.  She’s not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.  On the one hand, he’ll catch her if her knees suddenly go weak from the intoxicating feeling sweeping through her and leaving her light headed.  On the other hand, if he wasn’t so close, touching her there, she wouldn’t be feeling so dizzy.

Natasha and Clint come in, chatting comfortably just as Bucky steps away from her and she lets out a the breath she’d been holding.  Oh, thank Thor, she thought she was going to pass out.

Bucky calls it a day and leaves briskly, Darcy bids him goodbye and tries to get a hold of herself.

“Enjoying your lessons?”  Natasha asks with a smirk.

Darcy shrugs, honestly it was just pure frustration at this point. 

“Sure.”  She gives a non-committal nod.  Natasha narrows her eyes.

“You know, he taught me how to shoot too.”

“Oh?”  Darcy asks a little sourly.

“Mmmhmm.  He never taught me like _that_.”  The knowing grin the red head gives her has her shaking her head.

“It’s not like that, he’s not interested in me.”

Natasha rolls her eyes. They’re both oblivious.  She watches Darcy leave, happy to have planted the seed of doubt in her mind.

“Two weeks.”  She tells Clint.

“Nah, they’ve been dancing about for months on the same page, at least four.”

They agree on a price and shake on it.

 

* * *

 

 

 

“You know, for two very smart people they’re kinda dumb.”  Jane comments softly next to Steve.

Steve takes a sip of beer and slings an arm around Jane while they watch Bucky and Darcy cheat like crazy while playing The Game of Life. 

Darcy grabs the dice, shakes vigorously and leans over the board to make her play.  Bucky, distracted by the move, almost misses her tipping one dice over with the tip of her finger, then launches himself over the board to retaliate by tickling her into submission.  The two carry on like this for a while before Darcy gets the upper hand and smacks him in the face with a cushion, straddling his stomach and crowing at the top of her lungs. 

“We should do something about it.”  He agrees quietly, running a hand along her leg.

“Darcy won’t listen to me, she thinks he’s just being friendly.” 

Jane snuggles into Steve and steals his beer.  Steve pulls her into his lap proper.

“Bucky’s crazy about her, he just doesn’t seem to realise it.”

“We need a plan.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow.”

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Well, Tony and Pepper are going to that conference in Bern.”

They’re in their apartment having breakfast and trying to figure out how to get everyone except Darcy and Bucky out of the Tower at the same time.

“I’ll send Natasha and Clint off to Argentina, there’s reports of a possible 084 down there that Coulson was looking for some intel on.”

Steve slides a brochure over her way.  “I thought we could have a weekend away.  There’s even an Observatory five miles from the hotel, what do you think?”

Jane grins back at him, it was nice having a boyfriend that always tried to put her first and remembered the things she liked.

“It’s perfect, you are perfect…  Although I still say locking them in a closet would be quicker.”

Steve snorts.

“Bucky could punch through the door in a few seconds and Darcy can pick locks better than Natasha.  I think you underestimate their resourcefulness.”

“Well, with no one but each other for company hopefully one of them will wake up and notice what’s going on.  My money’s on Darcy, she can’t stay oblivious much longer.”

“I’m not going to bet against my best girl.  But don’t count him out just yet, he can’t have forgotten everything about pretty dames.  He could charm girls into just about anything back in the day.”

“Well, this is not the day and Darcy is not just any girl.  Besides, when she goes after him, she’s going to make him suffer.”

“I’ll take that bet, he’s just as good at that game, better probably.  She’ll cave first.”

“Hmmmm.  Let’s just agree we want them together and worry about who moves first later.”

“Yes Ma’am”

Jane grabs the brochure and flicks through it.  “You know, I’m not sure I’ll have time to visit the Observatory…”

Steve flashes her a confident smile.  No, no she won’t.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Darcy flips the page and her eyes run over the words slowly, she’s reading, or at least trying to.  It’s very hard to concentrate with a six-foot super soldier hovering behind you though.  They’re meant to be taking some time to relax, unwind, just chill.  The other’s were all gone for the weekend, leaving her all alone with Barnes.  Steve had asked her ever so sweetly to spend some time with him, that he was concerned about Bucky being left alone.  Feeling sorry for Barnes and not wanting to deal with Steve’s ‘Captain America is Disappointed in You’ sad face, had her agreeing without protest.

But Barnes does not know how to relax, he’s wound tighter than a bow and itching to do something.  She’d promised she would come play with him after she finished this chapter, so now, he’s right there, sitting beside her, reading over her shoulder.  She can feel his breath whispering over her skin at the nape of her neck and the first twinge of arousal makes her squeeze her thighs together.  Fuck, she’d never going to finish this with him sitting so close.  The worst part is that he has no idea what he does to her, or at least she doesn’t think he does. 

“Are you nearly done?”

Darcy rolls her eyes and closes the book, one finger keeping her place within the pages.

“What are you?  Five?  If we ever road trip am I gonna get hit with ‘are we there yet?’.”

“C’mon Doll, lets go find something to do!”

She looks back down at the page and ignores him.  He huffs beside her and she eyes him sideways, watching as he taps a finger impatiently on her knee.  She swallows and continues to read, sort of, that fucking finger is drumming it’s way up her leg.  She read the same sentence for the sixth time and lets out a silent breath of relief when he moves his hand.  Watches as his face twists into a grimace of frustration and feels the first glimmer of an idea begin to grow in her mind. 

It's another five minutes before he shifts again, one arm lying along the back of the sofa behind her, his flesh hand beginning to idly play with the ends of her hair.  Darcy stills, Natasha’s words echoing in her mind….  Were her friends, right?  The idea growing in her mind takes form…  for a second she feels a little shocked at her utter lack of observation…  He’s doing this on purpose, he likes her…  she stares at the page unseeing.  Bucky Barnes likes her.  She smiles and bites her lip, holding back a grin.  Well two can play at this game.

“Alright, fine.”  She puts the book down on the coffee table, slipping a bookmark into place.  “What do you want to do?”

Bucky grins, he knew he could irritate her till she stopped reading and came with him.  He didn’t mind keeping Darcy occupied for the weekend, Jane had made him promise not to let Darcy spend the whole time wrapped up in a book.  Told him to get Darcy to go do something fun.

“C’mon, there’s something I want to show you.”

He pulls her up from the couch, Darcy allows him, then _accidently_ stumbles forward, letting him catch her.  She smiles up innocently and gives him a pretty smile of thanks before pushing away.

“Lead on then, show me what you got.” 

She doesn’t want to give the game away too soon and reigns in the need to let the words sound as filthy as she knows she could make them, she’ll work up to it.  See how long it takes him to figure out she’s teasing him back.

 

* * *

 

 

He’s been watching her all morning.  The lab is quiet today, Foster’s off at a conference and Darcy had been left behind to keep an eye on the strange machines and the numbers they spit out that only she and Foster seemed to know how to interpret.  Stark had him down here fiddling with the arm, with nothing else to do while the man muttered to himself and worked Bucky had found himself staring off into the Lab next door. 

Every so often she would look up and smile at him before looking away.  It was driving him crazy.  He couldn’t tell if she was doing it on purpose or not.  She ran the end of the pen over her plump lips for the fifteenth time before biting the top then flicked her eyes up and found him watching her again.

This time he didn’t look away.  Neither did she.  Then she did it, smiled around the end of the pen, it was not a friendly smile he thinks, it was like a sharks.  The look a predator might give if they knew that they had you.  It was smile he knew well since it’s the same damn smile he used to find curling around his own lips when he knew he’d hooked a dame.  There’s something unnerving, seeing that same kinda smile on the lips of a dame like Darcy Lewis.  He must look as stunned as he felt because he can almost hear the wicked giggle through the glass.  Then she’s winking at him and blowing a kiss, the look that came with it promising mischief.

He’s startled away from the pretty picture he’s been admiring when Stark starts laughing.

“What?”  he asks, glare coming out in full force.

“Ha, you!  She’s got you good.  This is going to be so entertaining, I bet you’ve never had to deal with a woman like that before, she’ll eat you for dinner.”

“I think I can handle myself.”

“Ha!  That’s what you think now.  You’re going to be running in circles for the rest of your life with that one and you’ll like it.”

Bucky stares at him dumbly.  What the hell was he on about?

“Just wait.”  Stark says at his look.  “You’ll see, and I have no sympathy, none.  You brought it on yourself the way you’ve been hovering around watching her, all the inappropriate touching and invading her personal space.”

“I have not…”

“Nope, you have, every day for the past month, here in the lab or up in the kitchen when she’s dancing and cooking.  What?  You didn’t think she’d notice?  She saw you coming a mile off Barnes.”

Stark finished up with the arm and Bucky moved it slowly, feeling the articulation running much more smoothly.  He thinks about what Stark said and feels a tantalising shiver down his spine.

“How do you know she ‘saw me coming’ then?”

Stark looks up and grins.

“She changed her kitchen playlist from “Fancy Dancy Shit 3” to “Getcha Getcha Getcha” and swapped out all the cable knits for blouses.  She turned up the sexy librarian vibes from 3 to 10, she knows.”

A deep feeling over takes Bucky then, he’s not sure if it’s dread of anticipation, but it’s something.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Bucky Barnes is like that boy in the playground pulling pigtails. He’s been teasing and winding Darcy up for a month, although things had ramped up ten days ago.  Not that the girl had taken him seriously at first.  Darcy had been convinced he’d just been having fun and no amount of opinions otherwise were going to change her mind.  The more she ignored it, the more he laid it on, enjoying the constant blushes and the way Darcy would flatten him with her scathing retorts.  Then two weeks ago she’d finally figured it out.  Pepper had been hanging on edge ever since Tony told her about the eye fucking going on down in the Lab.

Pepper watches over the rim of her coffee mug as Barnes slowly licks the spoon covered in cake batter, making Darcy waver as she mixes the frosting, snowy globs of icing spatter the counter top and she blushes, pauses and quickly tries to cleans it up. 

Barnes leans over and wipes a large smudge from Darcy’s chin then cheekily licks his finger clean, some of the frosting catching on his top lip.  Pepper clearly sees the second Darcy snaps, it had been coming for a while.  The girl grabs him by the shirt and licks the last of the frosting from his lips before letting him go and flouncing off.

Tony passes her the fifty.  Pepper smiles and says nothing at Tony’s whining question of how she knew it would be today.  She just watches with a smirk as Barnes' stunned look of shock turns into a stunned look of happiness, then he runs off, chasing after the girl he’s been taking an inordinate amount of time to tease.  Clint grumbles across from her and passes Natasha a leather pouch which the other red head tosses in the air a few times, weighing it in her hand before she slips it into a pocket of her suit.

Steve is sitting with Jane in his lap, both of them drowsily drinking coffee and feeding each other pieces of blueberry muffin.  The fist bump they share and the look of absolute satisfaction goes by completely unnoticed by any except her.  It’s good to have Jarvis so up on Tower gossip, she can always rely on him to inform her of any shenanigans in the works.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	27. I'll Bring You Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Trying To Seduce One Another
> 
> Only one day left! Oh My Goodness! I'll have a nice long author's note tomorrow if anyone is interested, but I just wanted to thank everyone again for all your comments, kudos and support, I could never have come thus far without you all.

 

 

 

 

“Jane, he flirts with everything that moves!  He is such a man whore, I hate him.”

Jane shrugs, studying her notes intently.

“Hmmm.”

“I mean he goes through women like Kleenex, this is the 9th date this month, where the hell is he meeting these women?”

“I think Natasha’s been setting him up.”

Darcy stops her rant and stares at Jane.  “What do you mean Nat’s been setting him up?”

Darcy crosses the lab, and spins Jane’s stool round.  “Jane?  Spill.”

The sudden motion has Jane throw her hands up in frustration.

“Son of a beach.  Darcy…  come on, this is ridiculous.  Why don’t you just admit you like him?”

Darcy glares at her defiantly.  “I do not like him.  He’s annoying and irritating and he makes me want to scream.”

Shaking her head, Jane turned back to her work.  Sometimes there was no talking to Darcy.

“Darcy…  Fine, Nat said he was interested in _someone,_ but she hadn’t shown any interest and he was moping, she thought setting him up on some dates would help him get over it.”

“Well, who the hell was he interested in?”

“Oh for the love of the Allfather.  Darcy, Barnes has been interested in you since he got here, you’re the one he was interested in.”

Darcy stood, rooted to the spot.  What the hell was Jane talking about?  Barnes wasn’t interested in her, he hardly ever spoke to her and when he did it was to flirt…  all those cheesy pick up lines, the way he smiled at her so cheekily….  The winking and the innuendo… and…  Oh. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

The look Jane then threw at her made her stop and ask the question again…  Well she may have done nothing but whine and rant anytime his name was brought up.

“Now will you admit you like him?”

Darcy wanted to pout.  No, she did not want to admit she liked him.  He was too good looking, too charming and altogether so far outside her comfort zone it made her feel a little nauseous.  Why the hell had he been interested in her?  All she had done was be sarcastic and mean half the time.  She hadn’t thought he’d actually been interested, just that he was so used to getting his own way with women, with that smile and those eyes and that perfectly sculpted jaw line, that he didn’t know how to turn it off.  Now what was she going to do?  Not that she had to do anything….  Nope, she didn’t owe him anything…  But she could admit he was kind of attractive, you know, in the way vampires were attractive, dangerous, sexy and capable of killing her.  She just didn’t think a guy like him was the sort to do serious relationships and although she’d had plenty of fun in the past she was now at a point in her life where she was looking for something a little more long term. 

“Fine, I like him, kind of.  I mean it would be a lie to say he isn’t attractive, but even if he does like me, he was probably only seeing a challenge.  Right?  He was flirting so much because I didn’t just fall into his arms at the first smile?”

“Darcy, I don’t think any man spends six months trying to charm you just for a one night stand or a short fling.  I also don’t think he’s the type to hook up with someone so close to home when it could end badly, not unless he was actually serious about you.”

Well when she put it like that, Darcy felt kind of stupid.

“Jane?  What do I do?”

Jane just gave her the look.  The one that said I know you’re being purposefully obtuse, you know exactly what to do.  She sighed and sat down at her desk, flicking the little desk ornament, setting the swinging balls clacking back and forward.   Did she want to go after him?  Would it be worth it?  She supposed it wouldn’t be terrible.  But she wanted to get to know him first and that meant reeling him in enough to start talking. 

“Darcy, don’t over think it, just be yourself.”  Jane told her softly.

“Ha!  Have you met me?  I am a sarcastic mess most of the time.”

“I think that’s part of what he liked.  You don’t let anyone walk all over you, you say what you think and you mean it.  Seriously Darcy, just relax. 

“How can I when he’s got a hot new date nearly every other night?”

She banged her head on the desk and then realised her mistake a second later as the ornament and the sociopathic little metal beads got tangled in her hair.  Shit, typical.

“Well it’s not like he’s been staying out late, you could always just be in the kitchen when he gets back, you’re nearly always in there at odd times.”

Darcy hummed as she listened, turning the idea over in her head while picking the strands of her hair out of the nasty little thing.  She could work with that.  Make something nice to nibble on, offer him some, super soldiers were always hungry, and then…  sit and chat for a while?  Work up to flirting with him if she likes him.  With the last curl pulled free, she knocked it off the desk and into the bin.  How hard could it be to seduce him, right?

“I could totally seduce him if I wanted to…”  she said out loud.  Jane’s chair squeaked as she spun round to pin Darcy with a glare.

“Darcy no!”

Darcy pouted and narrowed her eyes, she could totally do it, she was cute, she had assets.  What did Jane know anyway?  It’s not like she had anymore experience than Darcy in that department. 

“Darcy yes!”

 

* * *

 

 

 

The warm July evening had encouraged him to walk back to the Tower after his latest disaster of a date.  The half-remembered habit of reaching for a smoke when he was annoyed had risen up in the last month.  He shoved his hands into his pockets, he would have settled for a zippo to flick.  It had been a bad idea to let Natalia set him up, he didn’t know what criterion she was picking from other than annoying as fuck.  Jesus Christ.

This last one…?  June or Judy or Jenny?  Fucked if he could remember, she’d prattled on about some vapid reality show the whole time, about who was going to get a rose…  He knows she was coming on to him, that wasn’t in question, but the way she went about it?  Was this really what women had been conditioned to think a guy wanted?  Constantly pulling her top down and leaning over, batting her eyes and laughing too hard, it wasn’t a turn on.  He tugged at his tie and loosened the top button of his shirt, tonight had been a shit show, he couldn’t wait to get out of there.  He’d had enough, Natalia could shove it where the sun don’t shine, he wasn’t going on any more dates. 

To be honest though, he’d brought it on himself, being so obvious about how much he liked Darcy Lewis.  Natalia had caught on to that and the big ball of nothin’ he’d made of any progress with the pretty dame.  Insisted that he needed to get out more, meet other women.  Well he’d tried, and now he was done.

He let himself back into the lobby and headed for the elevator.  It was times like these he could really do with a drink, it’s a shame that was off the table what with the effects of the serum and all.  He missed being about to get drunk, just drink away the crap of the day and have a fresh start tomorrow. When he stepped off the elevator on the common floor, he could hear the sound of some fast beat song playing in the kitchen. The smell of rhubarb pie drifted to his nose. 

From the music and the smell of pie he could easily guess who was in the kitchen.  It was for the use of everyone who lived there but they all knew the kitchen was Darcy’s domain.  Stark even had a neon sign up on the wall proudly proclaiming the place ‘Darcy’s Diner’.    

The internal struggle of whether to go in or just walk past and go to his room right off, played out in his mind.  He liked her, more than liked her.  She was gorgeous, smart and could set a guy down with her tongue so hard he saw stars.  He’s a bit of a masochist.  Even though she wouldn’t give him the time of day he’d continued to flirt with her just to see what she’d say next, or so he tells himself.   But he’s got the message, now, she’d not interested.  He respected that, so he’s lay off the teasing and the flirting and just let it be.  But damn it, he’d had a rotten night, if he couldn’t smoke or drink, he could at least have pie.

She looks pretty pleased with herself when he catches sight of her from the door.  He hangs back a minute just to enjoy looking at her this way.  Whenever he gets too close, she clams up tight, all those little walls goin’ up, closing herself off.  Not for the first time he wonders what it was had her shutting down like that. 

Her hair’s been pulled up, there’s a pair of chopsticks jammed into the curly mass, she must have had it down before she started cooking.  He likes the dress she’s wearing, although it’s not her usual choice of attire, he briefly wonders if she’d had a date herself tonight, she looked good.  Discarded in the corner of kitchen, were a pair of red strappy heels, she must have been tired of standing in them.  He wants to grin at the thought of her wearing them, he can just see it in his mind, it’s not often she’d wear anything that high, but when she did, her legs looked like they went on for miles.

He waits till she lifts the pie from the oven and places it on the counter before he coughs a little, making noise so she knows he’s there.  She’d complained enough that he needed a bell, he didn’t need to be scaring her right off the bat.

She looks up and smiles at him. He almost misses a step, he can’t remember her ever looking at him like that before. 

“Hi.”

She can’t get much more than that past her lips when she looks at him and smiles because the smile he gives her back if soft and warm and grateful.  Oh shit, she’s in over her head already.  Be yourself Darcy, flirt a little, you can totally mange this.  Then she remembers her hair, which took her hours to fix, had ended up getting thrust up into a sloppy twist for cooking and that she’s taken the killer heels off earlier, so she’d ruined whatever effect she was going for.  Jane was right, she was terrible at this and she’d not even started.

“Hey Doll, any of that pie going free?”

He sounds tired, she thinks, as he makes his way over, pulling up a stool at the counter.  There’s none of he usual flirtation in his tone, in a way it makes it easier to say something then.  He looks at her hopefully and she lets her guard down a little.

“Sure, you want some cream with it?”

“Nah, I like it just the way it is, your pie doesn’t need anything else to make it better.”

She smiles happily at the compliment and cuts two slices, sliding one over to him and passing a fork.

“You want a beer Barnes?”  She asks him, heading over the fridge.  He nods in answer, smiling round the mouthful of pie and she lets out a laugh, shaking her head.

“I thought you had dinner out tonight, are you really that hungry?”

“I left before desert, wasn’t worth the time.”  He told her as she passed him the bottle, he grasps the bottle from the bottom, not taking the chance to brush fingers with her.  “’sides, no one makes better pie then you, Doll.”

Crap, now she knows he’s being serious about the compliments she feels the blush rising in her cheeks. 

He watches her from the corner of his eye.  There’s something different about her, something off. He’s trying to pin it down, when he see’s the sudden blush rising in her face from his compliment, something he’d given her a dozen times before with nothing more than a flinch of acknowledgement.  Bucky chews thoughtfully, adding up the shoes, the hair, the dress and then the sudden need to bake pie on a Friday night, coupled with the honest smiles and the blush.  He really hopes he’s not adding two and two and getting five.  But if she’s finally coming round to him…  but then he doesn’t want to scare her off either. 

She sits opposite him and they share a companionable silence for a short while a they eat before she gathers up the courage to ask another question.

“So, how was the date?”

Darcy is trying hard to make the sound as innocent as possible. 

Bucky holds back the satisfied grin at being right.

“I now know more about The Bachelor than I knew I needed to.”

Darcy snorts.

“Not a fan?”  she asks him, her smile down right satisfied at the thought.

“I haven’t even seen an episode and I know I’ll hate it.  The whole Rose things?  pfft.”

“What, have you got something against giving flowers?”

The genuine question gave him an opening he could use.

“It’s not that, I just think it’s boring giving a rose.  Everyone gets roses now, and that’s fine, if you want to be lazy.  But flowers have meanings, my Ma was a florist, she thought it was something worth knowing.  ‘Sides, if you don’t know your girl’s favourite flowers you’re not paying attention.”

“I guess that’s true, like it looses it’s meaning since people use it so often.”

“Exactly.  Red roses mean passionate love, they’re good for giving to someone your already in a relationship with but not when you’re just getting to know someone.”

Darcy felt a little enchanted at the thought, who would have guessed the Winter Soldier knew how to talk with flowers. 

“What if you wanted to say you’d like to get to know someone better?”  she asked quietly, shifting in her seat a little, wondering what possessed her to speak that out loud.

“Well, I guess I’d start with Daffodils,  and Chrysanthemums, to show I hoped we could have a fresh start, to get to know them.”

His voice is low and the way he says it, she knows he means it’s the flowers he would give to her.  She look up and gets lost in his eyes for a moment, as she takes a calming breath, butterflies in her stomach, there is a combination of hope and promise in their blue depths.  Well, it looked like it was official, it was him doing the seducing right now, not her.  She places one hand on the counter, reaching out to him just a smidge.

“It doesn’t sound like that would be very romantic.”

Bucky smiles at her, his hand creeping closer across the countertop.

“Well, if she liked them, the next time I’d bring Amaryllis.”  Their fingers are almost touching.

“What do they mean?”

“I’d be telling her I think she’s beautiful beyond compare and that I thought she was more than just a pretty face.”

He watches closely as she bites that plump bottom lip, eyes lowered again, not wanting to give too much away.  He means every word, she’s the most beautiful woman he’s ever met, inside and out. 

“And if she accepted them,” he continued with a faintly teasing tone, “ I’d bring white and pink camellias, telling her I longed for and adored her.”

He covered her hand with his, tracing over the back of her fingers with his, sliding up till he could take her wrist, turn her hand over and hold it properly, his thumb tracing the fluttering pulse in the hollow of her wrist. 

“Oh…”  she manages to breath out weakly, the glide of his fingertips over hers had her breathless and  shaky, she’s not sure she could stand right now from the words and the way he said them, dark and promising, filling her with a longing of her own, and not for flowers, although she wouldn’t rule them out. 

Bucky keeps a hold of her hand as he stands and moves around to her side of the island.  At this point she’d flushed all over, he’s pretty sure, and a curl of male smugness swirls in his gut.  He’s not about to question what brought on the change in Darcy, but she’d not pulling away and her eyes are wide and dark, pupils dilated with desire.  She turns as he comes closer, the stool moving her to face him, she tugs his hand, a tiny smile spreading on her lips as he takes the invitation and stands between her legs. 

She widens her legs a little, letting him come close and tries not to feel faint, which is pointless because she can feel the warmth radiating off him this close, can reach out and touch his chest if she wanted to, so of course she's feeling faint.

“When I was sure you liked the flowers and accepted them I’d bring red carnations and mistletoe.  So you’d know I ache to kiss you.”

She licks her lips and can’t resist smiling, reaching out and grabbing his tie, pulling him down till she could meet his eyes properly.  Oh lord they were so blue and pretty and his lips were so soft..

“I’d definitely accept them”

He lets her go of her hand for a second and lifts her onto the counter top, his hands coming to rest on her hips.  It happens so fast she doesn’t have time to do more than laugh, finding them at a better height, allowing him to move even closer, her dress sliding up her thighs, another inch and the little surprise she was wearing would be ruined.

“I’d really like to kiss you Darcy.”

“If you don’t, I’m going to be really disappointed Barnes.”

His face lights up just before he swoops in and catches her mouth in his, Darcy sinking against him and moaning.  He kisses her hard at first, like he can’t believe she’s letting him, afraid to miss the chance, but he gentles it quickly, nipping and teasing at her lips with his own.  She kisses him back, every thought except the feel of his lips on hers gone from her head.  When she opens her mouth a little, trying to breath, he deepens the kiss until her blood feels like liquid fire through her veins, burning hotly, her skin needing his touch badly.

Her hands move into his hair instinctively and she tugs on the ends, making him pull her flush against him. His almost silent curse when she rolls her hips into him has her whimper as she feels her panties soak through with desire.

She doesn’t mean to cry out like that, but oh god, he feels so good, pressing between her legs that she can't help but let out the startled moan.  She finds his hand with hers and pulls it down to rest against her thigh, urging him to push her skirt up higher.

When his hand meets her leg, he finds the tell tail feel of silk, sliding his hand under her skirt he traces the edge of a stocking, till he finds garter straps and the bare skin of her inner leg.

He breaks off the kiss at the discovery, fully enjoying the wicked and knowing smile his girl was giving him as he tugged gently on the strap, letting it snap lightly back into place.

“Darcy Elizabeth Lewis, were you planning to seduce me tonight?”

“Well, there was about 12 percent of a plan and then you kinda beat me to it.   I didn’t know flowers could be so sexy.”  She tells him breathlessly, far less nervous now she knew they were both on the same page.

He grins down at her, still running a finger under the garter strap, enjoying the way she jumped each time he snapped it.

“What changed?”  he asks her, still not able to believe his luck.

“I thought you were just playing with me before, someone pointed out I was being an idiot.”

“And your first thought was seduce the Winter Soldier.”

Darcy nods, yes, she can  see how that would seem odd.

“Well, I’ve always been a fan of go big or go home.”

He can’t help but laugh at her cheeky bravado and he wheezes into her shoulder as she giggles underneath his hands.

“So which is it tonight, going big or going home?” he finally asks.  He’s teasing, she knows that, just playing with her, flirting with her, but in that second she knows he’s really just as crazy about her as she is about him, even if it took her a while to admit it.

“I think we could probably manage both.”  She whispers into his ear, sliding her foot up the back of his leg and hooking her leg over his hip.

He looks at her with question for only a moment before he lifts her into his arms and she clings to him like a panda.

“Doll, I’m gonna buy you flowers every day for the rest of my life.”

Darcy kisses him softly.  “I’m going to hold you to that, starting tomorrow.”

 

The next day a bunch of daffodils and camellias turn up on her desk and they never stop coming.

 

 

 

 


	28. A Little Prayer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Pillow Talk
> 
> This one is an AU. Darcy is a Guardian Angel 
> 
> Bold Italics - SHE (GOD)  
> Bold - Lucifer  
> Italics _ Raphael

 

 

 

 

Darciael was the youngest Angel in heaven.  Compared to her brothers and sisters, she was only a baby.  At a 1000 years old, she was the favourite, even grouchy old Lucifer, who’s duty was to guard the souls which had been completely corrupted by evil, adored the little Angel.

Darcy was excited, it was finally happening, she was going to be given the soul of a mortal to look after.  She had asked over and over for a long time to be given the duty of a Guardian Angel.  SHE had finally agreed.

 ** _“Hello Little Starlight, are you ready for today?_** ”

Darcy nodded furiously, wings quivering with excitement.  She was so nervous and happy, this was the day she had waited for her whole life.  

SHE took them down, descending through the planes of the worlds until they found the mortal realm.

They hovered in the sky over a great city as SHE explained to Darcy what her duties were and about the soul whom she would be charged with protecting.

A glowing orb appeared in HER hand, it was beautiful, a warm bright light shining in the darkness.  Darcy had always thought the souls of mortals to be beautiful, there was nothing else so special in all the realms.

 ** _“Now Darciael, this is very important, you must pay attention.”_** When SHE was sure Darcy had settled down, SHE reached forward and dropped the glowing mass into Darcy’s arms.

Oh!  It was warm!  The incorporeal ball of light and substance seemed to tingle, and there, drifting up through her senses, was a sound akin to music, so pretty and full of hope.

SHE smiled as HER youngest creation cradled the soul in her arms, enraptured by it’s resonance and light.

Sometimes, every so often, a new soul would come into existence that needed something more than just an ordinary Angel to watch over them, sometimes they needed a companion or a friend and once or twice that soul needed a fierce defender who would walk by their side, always.  This was one such soul, it saddened her to know what awaited it, and it saddened HER even more to know what Darcy would suffer at his side.

**_“This is the soul of a very special mortal Darciael.  Are you sure you’re ready to do this, to become guardian?  Once you take a charge, you cannot give it back.”_ **

“I’m sure, I will always watch over him.”  Darcy promised.

**_“He will walk a lonely and hard road little one.  It will be painful to follow him there.  This is very important, he must be protected at all costs, you cannot waver, ever, he must never fall to evil Darcieal, his soul must stay uncorrupted.  You will pay a heavy price to keep it so.”_ **

“What price?”

**_“It’s hard to say, the future is not yet set in stone.”_ **

Darcy mulls it over, when SHE warned you of something, SHEwas very serious.  But now that she was here and was holding this incredible soul in her hands…  How could she abandon it?  

Her grace sang back to the soul’s resonance, a duet and a counterpoint at once. She pulled her wings in close, surrounding the glowing light in shimmering golden white feathers.

“I won’t let go, I’ll stay with him always, I promise.”

SHE nodded and they descended closer to the city until they walked unseen down a busy street.

Eventually the found a young woman, sitting on a park bench, looking out over the water.

**_“I charge thee, Darciael, with the keeping of the soul of James Buchanan Barnes.  Do you accept?”_ **

“I do so accept.”

They watched as the soul slowly shrunk and zipped inside the mortal,

**_“One last thing, there are only three rules you must follow.  Do not interfere.  Do not Speak with him.  Do not fall in love.  Goodbye Little Starlight.  I am only ever a prayer away.”_ **

SHE touches Darciael’s grace in farewell and leaves with a heavy heart.

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Darcy watches the baby with awe.  He is perfect in every way, strong and healthy and good. In the early morning he begins to fuss as he wakes, without thought, Darcy shelters him with her wings and begins to sing softly in Enochian.  

The baby quiets and stares up at the golden shimmer. For a moment Darcy thinks he must almost see her, but baby eyes unfocused again and she relaxes, continuing her song. So it came to be, that each morning Darcy would sing to her charge, a healthier and happier child there never was.  

By the time James is five Darcy is certain the child is aware of her, as inexplicable as it may be, she knows he hears her voice as he wakes.  It’s not normal.  Mortals can’t see or hear her kind, not without them showing themselves deliberately and she hasn’t.  SHE did say he was special though, perhaps he will one day be a prophet or a messenger and so must be able to hear the WORD. It never crossed Darcy’s mind to stop singing to him, to stop whispering in his ear.  So she continued with their little morning routine.  She was always there when he woke, ready to sing him the song of morning.  

When he was six he started to whisper back for a time. Asking questions, thanking her, complimenting her voice.  Darcy began to feel something impossible for this tiny human.  Her grace brightened with each word he gifted her, she was happy.

By the time he was eleven he had stopped talking to her.  Instead he would wake and lie there, still, till she finished singing and pressed a kiss to his forehead in protection for the day ahead.  Once she was done, he would rise and get ready for his day.

The years went on and Darcy never wavered from her duty. Keeping him safe and free from evil. Then darkness began to rise in the east. A great war was coming.  Darcy felt the first stirring of unease within her grace as she watched from afar as people began to suffer, as evil tightened it’s grip on Earth.

There was nothing she could do to stop it, she knew it was coming for her charge.  Her song of morning was replaced now with one of strength and courage.  Be strong, be brave, have faith.  She whispered the words again and again, needing him to understand.

Darcy understands now, what SHE meant about the road being long and lonely.  Her charge was a soldier, fighting in a war, being forced to kill.  Some mornings she could not bring herself to sing the words, instead she whispered words of comfort and peace hoping some small meaning would make it through.  She never left his side, was there for every terror, every fight.  Her grace surrounded him as best she could, keeping the demons gathered in this place from gaining a foothold in his soul.  It was tiring to keep so much away, to keep them out and her charge safe.  

The mortal war took a toll on them both.  She felt weakened by the almost nightly assault against his soul.  Eventually he was captured and the stink of decay and death and depravity clung to them both in that prison.  Still, Darcy did her best to keep him safe.  

Then Zola starts his experiments and Darcy panics, because she has seen what happens next, how all the other subjects broke and twisted and died.  When Zola finishes with him, Darcy breaks the rule.  She interferes.  She can’t stand back and watch as his life is extinguished.  He was important, he had a destiny, she knew it.

In a damp and murky cell, he lies in a cot.  Crying out in his sleep as the faulty serum works through his veins.  Darcy wills herself into corporeal form, tucking her wings into dead space to accommodate the small room.  He doesn’t even know she’s there, that’s probably best.  She climbs into the cot beside him and holds him close, fingers running through dirty hair.  His cheeks are wet, and his tears soak her skin.  She feels every moment of his pain as though it were her own and then she reaches out with her grace and heals his body as best she can, allowing the serum to work, at least a little.  It costs her strength to do this, leaches away at her grace to give up part of herself to him, but she can’t let him die. She….  No…  she can’t feel that, it’s forbidden.  He is her charge, her duty, nothing more.  Angels don’t feel love for any except HER, there were rules. Darcy pops out of existence and continues to watch over him, pushing what ever she was feeling to one side.  It could never be.

His nightmares are a reflection of the very real evil trying to corrupt him.  Darcy can’t watch silently anymore as he battles these demons, so she joins him in his dream, her grace protecting him from the darkness and horror.  It’s very tiring to do this, but she can’t watch as he slowly looses his mind in the darkness.  He belongs to her, she has to help him, he is…  Everything.

Then his friend appears, the one who has been by his side almost as long as she.  He has changed so much, his soul was always good and strong, but his mortal body had been weak, now it was as strong as the soul it housed.  He came in the night and rescued her Bucky, Darcy followed, fretting each step that they would be injured.  The platform breaks as he jumps and she reaches out, just one tiny nudge to make sure he makes it to safety.  She can’t help it, she couldn’t let him fall.  That’s the second time she’s interfered.  If she does it again, they’ll take her away.  They will know.  She follows them out and stays close as they make their way back to the lines.  

That night as she watches over him she prays for guidance.

**_“You may help him once more without consequence, choose wisely Little Starlight.”_ **

The thought plagues her.  One more chance to save his life directly, but how would she know when to do so?

 

* * *

 

 

 

For as far back as Bucky could remember he woke up each morning to the sound of a soft voice singing to him gently.  It was a woman’s voice, sweet and loving, he never understood the words, could never find the source of the voice and never told a soul about it.  

When he was a child, he would think of his mother’s bed time prayers and the story she told of a guardian angel who watched over you while you slept, keeping anything evil from you while you couldn’t protect yourself.  He’d believed that for most of his life.  

Part of him held fast to that belief now that he was in this place.  Still though, every time he came awake the voice was there, speaking comfortingly to him, the faintest whisper of a feather like kiss glancing across his brow. He clung to that voice, that feeling. It kept him sane and wanting to live even when logic told him there was nothing left to fight for.  The voice that whispered in his ear seemed to say keep going, keep fighting, I’m here, I’ll keep you safe.  He didn’t understand a word, but the meaning was there if you listened.

He loved the voice, treasured it.  He didn’t care anymore if others would think he was crazy because the voice was the only thing standing between him and death.

Sometimes he would dream of a girl with dark coffee hair, curling around and over her shoulders, bright blue eyes and full red lips. In the dream it was always the same, the girl didn’t speak a word, just smiled at him sadly and took his hand.  A tiny delicate hand, with small dainty fingers that would hold tight to him, never letting go, even when the dreams turned dark and blood was painted over his vision.  She remained there in this dream, by his side, fighting monsters and keeping them in a soft glow of light no matter how dark it became.  

After Azanno, when he finally slept and found her there in that word, he through caution to the wind and when she took his hand he pulled her into his arms and held her close, whispering words of thanks to her.  He knew what she was, that she had watched over him his whole life and he was grateful. He never wanted her to leave him and it brought him comfort that even if he died, she would continue to be with him. Forever.

 

* * *

 

 

Darcy freezes when the Soul of her charge pulls her into his arms and holds her. No one had ever held her before.  It’s not something angels do.  But he’s hugging her, his arms banded tightly around the form she takes in his dreamscape and then she gives in to the temptation and hugs him back, closing her eyes and feeling the love this mortal holds for her.  For the first time since she held his soul before his birth she hears the resonance of his soul and her grace singing their duet. The darkness is driven back further from them as the melody grows in strength.  That’s when she knows that it is far too late for her.  She has broken the rule.  She loves this mortal man.  She loves him more than anything in all the realms.  She knows she will _fall_ for this.  She will be barred from the angelic host forever.  As they cling to each other, she thinks it might be worth it.  An eternity of loneliness is worth it, for whatever time this mortal has left, for time with him is more precious to her than all the stars in the heavens.  

When they return from the dreamscape, she knows her link to heaven is gone, her wings have been taken.  No longer can she hear her brothers and sisters.  Her grace, able to replenish from the connection is no longer infinite.  She’ll have to be careful with it, use it sparingly.  She wonders if another angel will come to guard him when she’s gone?  

She waits, she waits a year and no other angel comes to relieve her of her duty.  Darcy stays with him, she knows nothing else.  He is stronger now than he was and when they are together in the dreamscape her grace grows stronger when he holds her.  It’s the only reason she hasn’t wasted away to nothingness.  She worries for him so much though, the war continues, and he runs head first into danger at his friend’s side.  

 

* * *

 

 

Bucky can tell the Angel is worried about something, he wishes he could understand her language, but she won’t speak English even though he’s certain she understands it.  When he dreams now the first thing he does is take her in his arms, she comes willingly, holding him tightly, he feels at peace with her.  He feels stronger the longer they stay wrapped in each other’s arms, he knows she saved his life in that prison.  But she had been saving his sanity long before it, through each battle and fight.  

He wonders sometimes what she did, he knows the other prisoners like him died from Zola’s experiments.  He is much stronger than he was, and he sees things now that he hadn’t before.  The glint of wings from the corner of his eyes, other angels keeping safe their mortal charges.  He doesn’t react, doesn’t let it show.  

He worries about her though.  He feels as though he knows she once had wings, beautiful white feathers, veined with shimmering gold.  He no longer sees them, he worries that something is wrong with her, she seems less substantial at times than she was.  When she sings to him now, he sees her, shining brightly when he wakes.  He doesn’t keep his eyes closed anymore, he doesn’t want to miss any sight of her he is gifted with.  She fades out when the song ends, but he feels her presence clearly.

In the waking world he can not touch her.  He curses himself for being so selfish, for wanting something so good and pure.  He knows it’s wrong to see her that way, but he wants her, loves her, not as some divine being, but as the woman he sees in her.  If she knows he feels that way she says nothing and doesn’t change her behaviour.  He thinks Father O’Malley would have him saying a thousand hail Mary’s as penance for the impure thoughts he has regarding her.  But she’s beautiful and kind and he knows there will never be another who will spark this kind of love in his heart.  He resigns himself to his fate.  He has fallen in love with an Angel, she is…  Everything.

 

* * *

 

 

  
“Remember when I made you ride the Cyclone at Coney Island?”

“Yeah, I and I threw up?”

“This isn’t payback, is it?”

“Now why would I do that?”

Darcy eyes the ravine they plan to zip line over with trepidation, it looks dangerous.  Why did she end up with such a difficult charge?  Did he have a death wish, volunteering for these things?  She sticks close by him as always.  She doesn’t like this at all, has a terrible feeling in her grace.  When she still had wings, she could have glided down beside him, but now her only option is to use her grace to translocate to his destination.  When the train appears, she calculates where he is likely to land and with a quick press of her lips to his cheek she jumps to the roof of the train.  If he slips, she can help him from there if need be.  She clings to the last action she has to save his life tightly, she will not use it unless there is no other choice.

They board safely and she follows them.  When Bucky is cut off from his Captain she stays by his side.  He is scared, she can feel his soul.  He fights well, defending himself but he lets his guard down, only for a second.  It’s enough for the enemy to take him by surprise, he picks up the shield and the guard fires.  It deflects the ray which passes through Darcy, for a second she thinks nothing of it, and then she feels her whole being convulse and she’s no longer on the train.  Instead she is far from the train in some jungle in South America, she feels weak and wobbly.  She tries to gather her grace to make the jump, to get back to him, but she’s too weak, she doesn’t have the strength.  Panic fills her, he needs her she needs to get back, she can feel him, he is so frightened, so scared….  Then there is nothing, only silence.  She screams her defiance and pulls herself together, and jumps.

 

* * *

 

 

He’s dying.  He blinks open his eyes and all he sees is snow.  Please he begs, praying to God, please let me see her before I go.

As though his prayer was being answered, she is suddenly beside him.  He feels peace settling in his soul.  As long as she’s here, he’s safe.

“Hey Angel…”

Darcy falls beside him in the snow, reaching for him as he lies, broken and bloody from the fall.

“No…  no, you can’t die.  It’s not your time..”

She breaks the last rule.  She speaks to him so he can understand her.

He smiles at her through bloody lips.  

“I knew you were holding out on me, Doll.”  He tells her weakly as tears slide down her face.

“Shhh… don’t speak…  I’m going to fix this…  I’m going to save you and you’ll live.  But I won’t be here anymore.  So I have to say goodbye.”

Fear rips through him.  What does she mean she won’t be here?  She’s always been here, she has never left his side, his whole life he knew she was watching over him.

“Not worth it Angel…  Don’t leave me…”

“I love you…  I have always, loved you…  But it changed over time and one day… One day I couldn’t deny it anymore, I fell in love with you.  I don’t regret it.  You are going to live a _good_ life James Barnes.”

She has just enough grace left to do it, to give him back his life.  and since it’s the only chance she’ll ever get, she kisses him.  She breathes the last sparks of her grace into his soul and he mends enough that he will make it out alive.  

He can touch her, is the only thought that passes through his mind when her lips meet his. He feels stronger almost immediately, everything still hurt, but he’s not dying, not anymore.  He brings his uninjured arm up and slides it into hair that feels softer than silk.  He kisses her back with as much love and longing as he can bring and gasps as she breaks the kiss.  

“I love you too, I don’t even know your name, but I will never love anyone else…”  he has to tell her, she has to know that he loved her too.

He keeps his hand in her hair, holding her head to his and Darcy wants to cry at how perfect it could have been if things were different.

“My name is Darcy.”

“S’a beautiful name, Angel”

“Just rest…  get your strength back, I’ll keep you warm as long as I can.”

She’ll stay with him till either he is rescued or strong enough to get out on his own, well, she’ll try, she can feel her own strength waning, her body feels heavy and leaden.

They lie in the snow together, the very last of her held together by will alone.  She knows he’s tired, if he sleeps for a little while perhaps he’ll be strong enough to get up.  Even with the arm, damaged as it is, he can make it, she’s sure.  She packs snow around the limb, hoping the cold will slow the blood loss, it will have to be amputated, but she can’t regrow limbs as much as she wishes she could right now.

“Will you sing for me?”

“One last time then, I’ll sing and when you wake, you’ll live and you’ll go on.  Promise, you’ll get out of here, promise me you’ll try?”

“I promise.”

And then she sings to him, sings to him in her language a song of hope and rest and rebirth.  He falls asleep and she stays….  And then she feels herself slipping.  

 

* * *

 

 

 

_“_ **You can’t just let her die!”**

Lucifer paces angrily atop the snow, watching as his youngest sibling fades.

_“She fell Lucifer, she fell and used the last of her grace before it could replenish.  You know the rules, I cannot take her home.”_

**“You are such a mummy’s boy Raphael.  This is our sister, our Little Starlight.  We could still save her!”**

_“Lucifer, we can’t.  There is nothing we can do.”_

**“We could make her mortal.”**

Raphael rears back as though struck.

_“How can you suggest such a thing?”_

**“Well it’s better than being unmade in the void.  I can’t take her to Hell, she’d die there too, just slower and until there was nothing recognisable of her left.”**

Raphael and Lucifer stare at each other, a standoff.

_“She has no soul, Lucifer and we can not make one, both of us would be cast out forever for such an act.”_

**“I know.  But her charge has a nice healthy soul, and he loves her.  He could share it with her, souls replenish after all.  He’d be fine.”**

_“He would be damaged, and without a guardian to stave off evil he could be corrupted.  He is important to the future of the world.  It would be folly.”_

**“I’ll protect him.”**

Raphael gaps at his brother.  Lucifer despised mortals on principal.  But then he only ever saw the worst of the Mortal world, the evil that lived there, that some souls harboured and grew and cherished, relishing and enjoying the darkness of it.

 _“You!  You would protect him?”_ Raphael flourishes one wing sceptically.  

**“I’d do it for her.”**

Raphael believes him, Lucifer was oddly attached to Little Starlight.  No, Darcy, he supposes, now that she has no wings.

_“Once she’s mortal we can never contact her, never speak with her again…”_

**“No, but we can watch over her.”**

_“Her life will be tied to his forever.”_

**“I don’t think she would object…  besides, this way, one day, she’ll find him again, they will share the same soul.  They will enter the kingdom together or go on to another life, together.  She will be happy with that.”**

In agreement the two Archangels gather up their sister and Raphael carefully takes a piece of the soul of James Buchanan Barnes. Lucifer takes an impossibly white feather from his wings and lays it upon the man’s heart, slowly it sinks in. No evil will corrupt his soul, he will be left protected.

 

* * *

 

 

Darcy doesn’t understand what’s happened to her at first. There is no one to explain how she became mortal and no way to find out.  

She finds her way through it all and eventually makes a life for herself as best she can.  The dreams are what give her a clue.  She sees him sometimes when she sleeps.  He’s scared and in pain and praying for her, begging for her to come for him.  As hard as she tries, she can’t find him.  And she looks, she looks for decades.  She finds herself back in New York the better part of a century after she left.  It’s time for her to take up a new identity and start again.

Since she woke in a hospital bed in London in 1945 she’s seen the world, searching tirelessly for him year after year.  Lately she sees flashes of a nightmare play over and over in Bucky’s dreams.  The face of the man he kills on a never-ending loop is one she knows.  Now she understands that what she sees is a memory.  It’s the most tenuous clue, but she has to try, she can’t give up on him, he’s out there somewhere.  Probably looking as young as she is.  That’s another thing she doesn’t understand, how has she not aged?

She finds nothing in New York and decides to try college. Culver is the place she chooses, it’s a nice town and a good University.  She’s happy there and then she meets Jane.  Jane who desperately need someone to look after her.  Darcy can’t help it, she needs this, to look after someone, it’s a comforting familiar feeling she has missed.  If she can’t find him then she’ll watch over Jane.  

Then the Bifrost opens and a demi god falls into their laps. He’s a hulking brute of a man, stronger than her fragile mortal friends, stronger than her.  She doesn’t regret knocking him on his ass with the taser as all. She’ll always protect her friends.

Before he leaves he pulls her to one side, a question on his lips she hadn’t expected.

“Guardian, what do you do here?”

“What?”

“You are a guardian spirit are you not?  One belonging to the Creation God, if I am not mistaken.”

Darcy hedges for a moment, the unexpected knowledge of what she had been jarring her.

“I fell in love with a mortal and broke the rules. Now I’m stuck here, mortal as all the humans.”

Thor blinks.

“Nay, Little Lightening Sister, you are more than mere mortal, grace still hangs around you like a cloak.”

This is the first Darcy has heard of it, she hasn’t been able to feel it or use it if it is there.  She thanks Thor for the information and when he leaves, she stays with Jane.  Eight months later they move into lab space at Stark Tower.  Thor keeps her secret and life goes on.  

 

* * *

 

 

2013

Darcy is stunned when Captain America shows up, to take Tony up on his offer of a place to stay, after his months long road trip across the states.  It’s really him.  It’s little Stevie Rogers, still alive and young and as strong and vital as he was the last time she saw him.

She gets to know him slowly, wanting to find a way to be his friend.  He loved Bucky too.  He always had.  She finds some solace in that.  One afternoon as they sit with coffee looking out over a wet Manhattan skyline he asks her a question.

“Darcy, I need to ask you something and I promise I won’t be mad or think you're crazy, but…  you seem to know things about me, things I haven’t told you before, sometimes it’s things about Bucky… so I think you might be more than what you let everyone think you are…”

He brings an old sketch book out of his bag and hands it to her.  She hasn’t seen this book in seventy years.  Steve Rogers wasn’t the only artist of the Howling Commandos.  Bucky had taken art classes just like Steve, she remembers him drawing in it during the war.  She never peeked though, she knew it was private.

She knows what she’s going to find before she even lifts the front cover.  Biting back tears, she opens it.  Her face stares back at her from the page.  The overwhelming pang of loss that sweeps through her takes her off guard.  

She tells him everything and when Thor returns, he confirms it.  Now two people know her secret.  That’s when she tells him about Bucky, about what happened to him and that she believes he’s still out there somewhere, in the hands of monsters.

Steve swears he’ll find him and bring him home. Darcy believes him and for the first time in years she has hope again.

 

* * *

 

 

2015

Six months after the fall of Shield

Bucky felt as though he were slowly piecing himself back together.  It was hard, but bit by bit he started to feel more like himself and less like the Winter Soldier.  He finds solace in his dreams.  There is always a pretty girl there waiting for him, ready to hug him and hold him, she never speaks but there’s this longing from her that bleeds into him, beseeching him to come home, to come back.  He wished he knew where home was.

It takes months before he knows and remembers what is missing from his life.  The voice of the angel when he wakes has been gone for so long, he aches to hear her, just once more.  But then he remembers her telling him she’d be gone.  She did something, something that meant she had to go, she did it to save him.  So much for the good life she wanted him to live.  He’d become a monster.

When Steve finds him, he’s going to run again, he really does plan to, but then he sees the girl get out of the car behind Steve and he thinks he’s finally gone mad.  

It’s her, he would know her voice anywhere.  He stops and he watches as she swings around, looking for him.  Then she closes her eyes and spins slowly, till she’s facing the place where he is hidden. She opens her eyes and they meet his. She begs him to come out, to come back with them.  He lets her get close, close enough to reach out and touch her.  She’s there, she’s real.  He is going home.

 

* * *

 

 

Ever since they married, he wakes to the same song. He still doesn’t understand the words, beautiful as they sound, he can’t decipher them. Waking up to her voice is the best part of his day, knowing that when he finally looked, she would be right there beside him.

He opens his eyes and she smiles, singing still, as their heads lie side by side on the pillow together.

“How do you always know when I’m about to wake up?”

“What kind of Angel do you think I am?  I can’t go around giving away all my secrets.”

Bucky reaches for her and pulls her close, enjoying the way her body curls into his.  

He still feels a vague guilt in the deepest recess of his mind.  She gave up everything for him long ago, to make sure he lived.  She had been an Angel, something perfect.  Part of him wonders why she fell in love with him, why she risked so much for one man.

“Stop that…”  she admonishes him, placing a soft kiss on his lips.

“Stop what?

“Feeling bad again.”

“I still don’t get it.”

“I know, but…  Well I think SHE must have known what would happen.  I think I am right where I was always meant to be.”

“With me?”

Darcy nods at his smile and he kisses her again, he makes her feel things she didn’t know were possible.  She melts into his kiss and relishes the feel of his body, pressing into hers.  This is her heaven now, them together, nothing between them, becoming one.  

“The Creator made me promise to keep you safe. SHE let me save you. Let whoever saved me, make me mortal.  Let them take half of your soul to give it to me.  You saved me too.”

“I love you.   There aren’t enough words in all the world, to tell you how much you mean to me.  You are everything.  I would have given all of it to keep you safe.”

“You did.”  She tells him, drawing him above her, pulling him into a searing kiss.  He belonged to her forever, they shared a soul, nothing could ever keep them truly apart.  And every morning for the rest of their lives she would tell him that, remind him that they were one soul, one perfect match.  

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my Lovies, I just wanted to take the chance to say a few things, I hope you'll read till the end.
> 
> I took on this challenge on a whim. I’ll be honest, even I didn’t think I could pull this off. Certainly, none of the people around me did. They all thought I’d give up before I even got half way. It’s been brutal in places, finding the time to write and the inspiration. Somehow, I think I pulled it off. 
> 
> I don’t know myself how I managed. I had no time to prepare, to outline to come up with ideas. I knew about it on January 29th. Every one of these stories were pulled out of thin air at sometime on the day I posted it. 
> 
> I wanted to complete the challenge to prove to myself I could. It was also a great way to test myself. Test my ability to write, to meet deadlines. An opportunity to try different styles, to hopefully get better and grow as a writer. I think I improved over the month, although by the end I was so tired and drained I didn’t have a clue what I was writing the last four posts. 
> 
> I was writing by the seat of my pants, the whole time, never getting a chance to come up for air. I wrote more ideas down this month than I have in my life. I have at least one which I want to continue and turn into a longer piece. There are things you never saw, stuffing up my hard drive, some of them pretty decent that I will continue later, mostly because once I started writing them I realised they were actually going to turn into much longer stories if I wanted to do justice to the idea.
> 
> I know I couldn’t have come so far without all the support I received, both on AO3 and on Tumblr. So A big shout out to all of them. Especially @thatgirlkei , you kept me going at the end there, thank you.
> 
> I hope you will let me know what you thought in the comments and thank you all for the wonderful words of encouragement and love, I will never forget this experience, mainly because of all of you.
> 
> Sending all the love and hugs!


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